Ask For It, is a great story!

[Guest]

I just thought I would stop by and tell everyone what an awsome story (Ask For It) is.

I left my review with indentcouple, and a request for them to continue the story. I asked them to please let me know if they plan on continuing the story. I was hoping they might check this board and post a reply. I cant leave my email, since I share the computer with my less than adventurous wife.

Has anyone here read this terrific story? For its type, I believe it to be the best of its kind! If you havent read it, and like wife stories, I suggest you take a look. You wont be dissapointed! If you like the story as much as me, how about letting indentcouple know. Encourage them to continue this fine piece of erotica!

Also, if anyone knows of any other stories out there, that feature this same kind of theme, please let me know. I think it would be hard to top Ask For It, but you never know. Thanks for your time. Dave

 

[Couture]

This actually was an excellent story.

Ask for It

 

[P. B. Walker]

Couture,

thanks for point this story out. I've been interested in reading this type of story for sometime. I've bookmarked it for later uhmm "perusal". LOL. In fact, I will be reading all of their (indentcouple) stories.

I will post my review hopefully soon.

- PBW

 

[P. B. Walker]

Wifes Rule

Wife's Rule Ch. 1, 2, & 3 are more offerings from indentcouple. Just finished reading chapters 1 & 2. Great story. They have a very interesting imagination that gets my blood flowing (wink wink). There were a couple parts that turned me off, but overall the story was great. It was a good read and flowed very well. Although, at some point I quit worrying about grammar and stuff and just read (hehe).

I'm looking forward to Ch. 3 and their other stories.

- PBW

 

[Couture]

Yeah, the grammar could be improved. The first few paragraphs or so should just be deleted. Why? To much narration. It would start out much stronger to give the reader a little hook and introduce and describe the characters as the story goes on.

Believe me that I'm not trying to detract from the story. It was erotic, with good plot development, great imagination, and did I mention hot as hell. However, why not mix it up a little and say:
"Joanie, I would like to fuck your beautiful ass. Please do this for me," Bill said one night while we were making love. You see, that's the kind of relationship we have. When one partner wants something . . . etc.

Then you can mention about Bill putting his hands on your womanly hips when you rolled over and you can include his size there as well. This give the reader a good hook without getting 3-4 paragraphs of narration describing you and your husband's attributes. This will also serve to give action instead of narration which is more exciting to read.

The writer also includes parenthesis in the story. Personally, I would probably drop them, because I've never seen them in a novel or anything. If authors aren't using them, the there is probably a reason.

I think making these few changes would really improve the impact of the story.

Anyway, it is a hot story and was made even hotter by the fact the husband as- well I guess you need to read it to find out.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Ask For It, by indentcouple

Just got done reading this story. Wow is it hot. A very kinky and interesting story line. I won't get into the grammar or word choice since that is not my strong suite. There were a few slow spots that could be pepped up so that it reads more smoothly, but overall I thought it read very well. I really liked how the author got into what the characters were feeling and why they were doing what they did. Nothing is more annoying that having some explained action (non-obvious that is). And the sex was absolutely hot.

Great story indentcouple. I look forward to reading Ch. 2.

Keep up the good work.

- PBW