Asian wives, fresh off the boat: your experiences?

[naughtoldperv]

Just wondering if there are any others out there that are experiencing the joys and challenges of dealing with your Asian born wife's adjustment into Western culture??
If you have been to any Asian country and 'mingled' with the normal people........not counting the sex tourist thing where you only see the 'pros' that have lost most of their typical Asian reserve and lots of their native culture to entertain the foreign tourist.................not that I have any thing against those girls, as I've spent many years playing in the bars of several Asian countries.

There seems to be a few traits that are common among most of the Asian people and some are quite different to the average western woman of today. Generally speaking they still have the old fashioned attitudes about love and sex that the western women abandoned decades ago with the woman's liberation movement................for better and worse.

Asians on a whole seem to view things in black and white.............not too much grey. Either the person or thing is good or bad. That is one of my biggest challenges, in getting my AW to loosen up to trying new things in bed that were taboo in her native country.
I will stop my comparisons for now and request some input from others experiences with introducing your Asian spouse to the wild and crazy west, where we are free and open with few social/cultural/ or legal chains.
Please share....................

 

[lmplit]

well in my experience, make her feel confidence first about her sexual attraction, tell her that she is very hot sexy and others.
after that try to explain smoothly or go very slow, what you wanted to do with her because she is very attractive.
make her read stories about it.
hope you can find the answer and make it happen

 

[Palamino19]

I can only speak on the Chinese experience. They never had the idea of love and sex that you see in the West, including the more traditional ones. There was never the same abandonment of practicality, although there may be the appearance of it. Additionally, some sex acts are not as taboo, some more.

Also, if you marry someone from China, and they are a traditional woman, then it is important to understand that, at home, and especially in regards to management of the home and the finances, the tradition is that they are often boss, especially if they are better at it than you.

Many are fantastic at flirting, but like in the West, this is no indicator of physical skills.

Bringing home a wife from China, one is on a road to failure if they view it as the woman adjusting to American culture alone. If you live with them, you better do some adjusting as well, or you are in for a rollercoaster ride that does not end well.

And, Japanese woman and Korean women are more alike in manner than they are with Chinese women. Chinese women have no tradition of being or admiring placid, quiet wives.

 

[DragonGirl3]

Adding onto what Palamino19 said, in Korean families the woman runs the house as well. Not blatantly, but she's more like a puppeteer. She pulls all the strings from behind the "strong husband". The wife makes all the decisions and the husband basically just brings home the money.

You can't just expect a woman to suddenly adopt a new view on the world. It's how she was raised, it's part of her identity. You'll have to realize that there's a possibility she may never become open in bed. We Asian women tend to be a bit stubborn lol. If you're not willing to adjust for her and try to come to a compromise then the relationship will ultimately be a failure.

 

[Palamino19]

Adding onto what Palamino19 said, in Korean families the woman runs the house as well. Not blatantly, but she's more like a puppeteer. She pulls all the strings from behind the "strong husband". The wife makes all the decisions and the husband basically just brings home the money.

You can't just expect a woman to suddenly adopt a new view on the world. It's how she was raised, it's part of her identity. You'll have to realize that there's a possibility she may never become open in bed. We Asian women tend to be a bit stubborn lol. If you're not willing to adjust for her and try to come to a compromise then the relationship will ultimately be a failure.

In addition, I think open in bed is also a hard call. What is open, doing what the other person wants? That doesn't tend to work, pressure to do something one sees as what a good lover does is not going to go over well.

I don't know the Korean experience, but traditional Chinese women are probably a hard sell on oral, anal, maybe not crazy about positions facing away from their partner. But anal is likely the biggest, and that's not unusual.

I think there's a real trap in judging a lover by what they don't do.

Not to mention, a lot of the guys bringing home wives are not exactly sexual gods. Not all, of course, but man, I've seen some women weighed down with guys that just aren't pulling any weight in the relationship, and just want a docile woman and complain about feminists in the West or something. Haven't seen one of those relationships last except by sheer effort of will of the wife. Who then ends up the stronger role in the relationship...

 

[DragonGirl3]

In addition, I think open in bed is also a hard call. What is open, doing what the other person wants? That doesn't tend to work, pressure to do something one sees as what a good lover does is not going to go over well.

I don't know the Korean experience, but traditional Chinese women are probably a hard sell on oral, anal, maybe not crazy about positions facing away from their partner. But anal is likely the biggest, and that's not unusual.

I think there's a real trap in judging a lover by what they don't do.

Not to mention, a lot of the guys bringing home wives are not exactly sexual gods. Not all, of course, but man, I've seen some women weighed down with guys that just aren't pulling any weight in the relationship, and just want a docile woman and complain about feminists in the West or something. Haven't seen one of those relationships last except by sheer effort of will of the wife. Who then ends up the stronger role in the relationship...

Agreed. In Korean culture, many women see anything sexual as embarrassing. They only have sex to have children. (Of course that's not all. And there could be a difference between generations) So getting them to be "open" could be difficult and may never happen. If that's what you wanted OP, you probably should have done some research on culture first.

 

[Palamino19]

Agreed. In Korean culture, many women see anything sexual as embarrassing. They only have sex to have children. (Of course that's not all. And there could be a difference between generations) So getting them to be "open" could be difficult and may never happen. If that's what you wanted OP, you probably should have done some research on culture first.

Chinese woman aren't generally embarrassed about sex to a great extent, though public displays are an entirely different matter. But taboo acts are a hard hurdle for many, though some taboos are not as strong as others.

 

[seamus221]

I can only speak on the Chinese experience. They never had the idea of love and sex that you see in the West, including the more traditional ones. There was never the same abandonment of practicality, although there may be the appearance of it. Additionally, some sex acts are not as taboo, some more.

Also, if you marry someone from China, and they are a traditional woman, then it is important to understand that, at home, and especially in regards to management of the home and the finances, the tradition is that they are often boss, especially if they are better at it than you.

Many are fantastic at flirting, but like in the West, this is no indicator of physical skills.

Bringing home a wife from China, one is on a road to failure if they view it as the woman adjusting to American culture alone. If you live with them, you better do some adjusting as well, or you are in for a rollercoaster ride that does not end well.

And, Japanese woman and Korean women are more alike in manner than they are with Chinese women. Chinese women have no tradition of being or admiring placid, quiet wives.

Thanks for dropping the truth bomb and peeling back the myth that us western men think is fact.

Its not a one way street and as wondeful as an Asian wife can be they can be demanding and have left their family,freinds and home behind so if your thinking she's going to clean your house and wash you undies while you party with the boys your in for trouble.

She's a wife ,not a servant as many of my military friends have found out and shared with me.

 

[DragonGirl3]

Thanks for dropping the truth bomb and peeling back the myth that us western men think is fact.

Its not a one way street and as wondeful as an Asian wife can be they can be demanding and have left their family,freinds and home behind so if your thinking she's going to clean your house and wash you undies while you party with the boys your in for trouble.

She's a wife ,not a servant as many of my military friends have found out and shared with me.

It actually kind of ticks me off that your military friends married Asian women thinking that.

 

[seamus221]

Well DragonGirl3 you can be ticked off oron IDC and it brings nothing to the discussion.

The good news is they learned and worked things out, but others make the same mistake still.

Humans learn things true and untrue everywhere , wisdom is knowing the difference which this thread brings up a truth that should be the focus and not how you or I feel.

The U.S.A. Divorce rate is so high thanks to faulty ideas and that's with people from the same nation and speaking the same language.

So getting a fresh off the boat boat wife from an Asian or other nation and not doing your homework to learn her culture but to expect her to be the fantasy wife still happens.

Anyone can have a gf or bf but to have a relationship takes work and open conversation.

 

[DragonGirl3]

Well DragonGirl3 you can be ticked off oron IDC and it brings nothing to the discussion.

The good news is they learned and worked things out, but others make the same mistake still.

Humans learn things true and untrue everywhere , wisdom is knowing the difference which this thread brings up a truth that should be the focus and not how you or I feel.

The U.S.A. Divorce rate is so high thanks to faulty ideas and that's with people from the same nation and speaking the same language.

So getting a fresh off the boat boat wife from an Asian or other nation and not doing your homework to learn her culture but to expect her to be the fantasy wife still happens.

Anyone can have a gf or bf but to have a relationship takes work and open conversation.

If you look above, I've brought plenty to the discussion. I've given a good amount of "truth" on here too. And as an Asian woman, yeah I have a right to be pissed about the assumption idiot American men make. America is becoming a nation of idiots who just don't give a fuck about other people's backgrounds and culture and it's a serious problem. Then they always think it's the other person who's the problem, not them.

 

[DragonGirl3]

Also there's this:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1228424

 

[naughtoldperv]

Thanks for all your input so far. Re managing money in the household........That's where my wife falls a little short, as her whole family are poor money managers and I've had to teach my wife while we were in her home country [married 14 yrs] how to manage money, but kind of hard to teach money management when I was the one who had the income and brought her out of the poverty rut that she was trapped in.
But, I didn't post to discuss money management. Still hoping to hear from 1st generation Asian immigrant women and/or their spouses on other aspects of a relationship, especially in the sexual adjustment dept.

Oops, while my above reply was left unsent for a day, I finally got some meaningful input and appreciate that much.
DG3......assuming that you're Korean and not first generation immigrant, but I appreciate your input.
My wife is from SE Asia and from my observations, the Japan and Korean women are totally different. Not meaning any insult or judgement.

Now, I'll narrow my request for input to husbands with wives from SE Asia, or the wives themselves.