Ashley's Descent feedback

[CurvySassyAJ]

Hi, i am looking for some feedback on a series I wrote.

Here is chapter 1:

https://literotica.com/s/ashley-s-decent-ch-01

Things I am wondering about in my writing are:

1. Is the storyline too cliche, even for porn? The ratings are ok, but not sure I trust ratings.
2. Is my pacing ok?
3. Do I put in too little or too many details in places?
4. Do my sex scenes lack?
5. Should I end this series here? (I am currently writing an unrelated story, which I may start another thread about)


Thanks,
Amy

 

[nicksam2]

I liked it. Good pacing, good sense of detail. One piece of advice that never fails: Describe her feelings more, her mix of desire and noncompliance.

I have a more personal request -- give her implants. Make them a part of the narrative.

 

[CurvySassyAJ]

Oh, that would be a twist. That might work.

And I humbly apologise for the mix up in chapter 3... a new version is pending so hopefully you don't read error.