Article about Why Women Can't Write about Sex

[BuckyDuckman]

From a Lit link, an article from The Atlantic, "Why Is It So Hard for Women to Write about Sex."

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/03/why-is-it-so-hard-for-women-to-write-about-sex/357574/

I don't feel equipped to comment beyond providing the link.

 

[Handley_Page]

It was all very well for an academic to write such wordy prose in a manner perhaps best suited for the groves of academe, but it didn't answer the question.
It was a real effort going on to the end.
Still, I now know of several authors to avoid; not that they'd likely be at my local library, anyway!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

For just $19.95 a month you can help the author and countless other women overcome their sexual PTSD. And if you call WOUNDED WOMAN right now we'll send you a free WOUNDED WOMAN blanket or tee shirt.

Humans been around for 600 million years or so, and worked out the kinks of sex and childbirth long ago. My dog had a litter of pups, and was hard at work from the moment they were born. She didn't think about it or read any books on the subject. Women, on the other hand are neurotic, and women writers are as crazy as shit house rats.

 

[lovecraft68]

Seeing we're on a site that features upwards of thousands of female authors I think the woman writing this thing is an idiot.

Just because women don't come out and tell everyone they write it does not mean they cannot.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

She was writing for the Atlantic. Enough said.

Any of the uptight women that read that rag would agree with her.

And the snobby men who read it would agree with her that their wives don't want to have sex with them either.

Of course they work 150 hours weeks and are never home to find out, but that's another article.

 

[Tricialen]

For just $19.95 a month you can help the author and countless other women overcome their sexual PTSD. And if you call WOUNDED WOMAN right now we'll send you a free WOUNDED WOMAN blanket or tee shirt.

Humans been around for 600 million years or so, and worked out the kinks of sex and childbirth long ago. My dog had a litter of pups, and was hard at work from the moment they were born. She didn't think about it or read any books on the subject. Women, on the other hand are neurotic, and women writers are as crazy as shit house rats.

I beg to differ with you there....I am quite sane and I love to write.....and I had all three of my children without any drugs.....I do not know one man who could take that kind of pain without crying and whining and crying out for drugs....so you need to apologize to all women. Including the one that brought you into the world....to become a jerk!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I beg to differ with you there....I am quite sane and I love to write.....and I had all three of my children without any drugs.....I do not know one man who could take that kind of pain without crying and whining and crying out for drugs....so you need to apologize to all women. Including the one that brought you into the world....to become a jerk!

My momma shaped my attitudes about women, pointing out their schemes and scams and tricks. Females are pathological liars right outta their shells. And that's OK cuz its how they are. So youre scold is lost on me, cuz I know the game.

 

[Tricialen]

My momma shaped my attitudes about women, pointing out their schemes and scams and tricks. Females are pathological liars right outta their shells. And that's OK cuz its how they are. So youre scold is lost on me, cuz I know the game.

I pity you.....

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I pity you.....

Don't do that! Once I realized mom was right, and started thinking of women as warm, soft, sweet smelling urinals, they and I liked each other much better. No right thinking female ever wants to be on a pedestal.

 

[Hypoxia]

She was writing for the Atlantic. Enough said.

Any of the uptight women that read that rag would agree with her.

And the snobby men who read it would agree with her that their wives don't want to have sex with them either.

Of course they work 150 hours weeks and are never home to find out, but that's another article.

I sense an impending culture war. Critics fluffing arrogant executive-class neurotics, vs a tide of successful erotica producers of the female persuasion. Yes, battle is joined! Ah, but count eyeballs. Just HOW many people read the Atlantic? Sorry folks, the war is already over.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Culture war?

Hardly.

What we have are the gals and Low T guys up in the cheap seats tossing popcorn at each other while the gladiators are down in the arena.

 

[Athalia]

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs. I happen to agree with that.

But I don't shirk from that challenge. Instead, I try to create fantasy worlds to which both men and women can relate, each in their own way. A lot of men get that, too, and I enjoy reading their contributions.

Much of the difficulty is that women's attitudes about themselves have been in a state of flux over the last century, forcing women to re-examine their experiences as their circumstances change. That's good, and I think that that transformation is not yet complete. Our daughters and granddaughters will continue this, and their writings will reflect it. I believe that the best women's erotica is yet to be written.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs. I happen to agree with that.

But I don't shirk from that challenge. Instead, I try to create fantasy worlds to which both men and women can relate, each in their own way. A lot of men get that, too, and I enjoy reading their contributions.

Much of the difficulty is that women's attitudes about themselves have been in a state of flux over the last century, forcing women to re-examine their experiences as their circumstances change. That's good, and I think that that transformation is not yet complete. Our daughters and granddaughters will continue this, and their writings will reflect it. I believe that the best women's erotica is yet to be written.

OFFICIAL GIRL-SPEAK TRANSLATION: females are chameleons that cant find the right mood.

 

[Tricialen]

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs. I happen to agree with that.

But I don't shirk from that challenge. Instead, I try to create fantasy worlds to which both men and women can relate, each in their own way. A lot of men get that, too, and I enjoy reading their contributions.

Much of the difficulty is that women's attitudes about themselves have been in a state of flux over the last century, forcing women to re-examine their experiences as their circumstances change. That's good, and I think that that transformation is not yet complete. Our daughters and granddaughters will continue this, and their writings will reflect it. I believe that the best women's erotica is yet to be written.

Amen!

 

[Handley_Page]

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs. I happen to agree with that.

But I don't shirk from that challenge. Instead, I try to create fantasy worlds to which both men and women can relate, each in their own way. A lot of men get that, too, and I enjoy reading their contributions.

Much of the difficulty is that women's attitudes about themselves have been in a state of flux over the last century, forcing women to re-examine their experiences as their circumstances change. That's good, and I think that that transformation is not yet complete. Our daughters and granddaughters will continue this, and their writings will reflect it. I believe that the best women's erotica is yet to be written.

More wordy expressions which puzzle me; they might not puzzle a modern woman, but they confuse me. Are we talking about description power of what happens during the sex act or what goes on in their brains?

Is the future " best women's erotica" intended for a masculine or feminine audience ?

This reply is NOT intended as a provocation but just so I understand.

 

[lovecraft68]

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs. I happen to agree with that.

But I don't shirk from that challenge. Instead, I try to create fantasy worlds to which both men and women can relate, each in their own way. A lot of men get that, too, and I enjoy reading their contributions.

Much of the difficulty is that women's attitudes about themselves have been in a state of flux over the last century, forcing women to re-examine their experiences as their circumstances change. That's good, and I think that that transformation is not yet complete. Our daughters and granddaughters will continue this, and their writings will reflect it. I believe that the best women's erotica is yet to be written.

That's because most men-and I stress most, again there are exceptions and many of them could be found floating around on sites like this- don;t write about feelings regarding sex they write about fucking. That's pretty much it.

A lot of women want to go beyond the fucking and get into what else is involved. As for self esteem which is something I think you are getting at you may have a point.

And sites like this are very male driven and are not going to help that, so I think a woman has to have it or they don;t as far as being able to put it down in words. But I think the article was way to generalizing and limiting.

 

[3113]

Sappho shakes her head

What I took away from the article is that it's harder for women to accurately write about their own feelings about sexuality than it is for men to write about theirs.

More wordy expressions which puzzle me; they might not puzzle a modern woman, but they confuse me. Are we talking about description power of what happens during the sex act or what goes on in their brains?

Brains. The emotional context of sex for a woman (vs. a man) and the emotional aftermath. Now the big question is, is this emotional context biological or cultural? We are, I believe, wandering in that generalization that culturally/biologically, men can imagine having sex with any woman, any time, any where then walking away with no emotional investment.

Which is not to say that they can't or haven't emotional investments in a woman, just that it's not linked to sex with her. Meanwhile, the woman culturally/biologically (?) presumably wants to feel emotional attachment to the man before she has sex, and does so after sex (biologically speaking, women's chemistry supports post sex attachment suppositions).

Culturally, women have had strong emotional investments in sex because it led to pregnancy and women without male attachment, especially pregnant ones, but also old maids, had no social standing. As the word "slut" still get thrown around as compared to "stud" we can assume that, culturally at least, women still may have difficulty expressing their feelings about sex—what they want from it, where they hope it will lead.

The more so if they just want to have a fun time, no strings attached.

What I'm saying is that I can understand the assumptions underlying this article, but I still think it's outrageously wrong. Women unable to express such wouldn't be writing erotica. But not all of us are so handicapped and it's stupid, not to mention poorly researched, to presume that. Whatever issues any woman (or womankind) might have regarding feelings about sex, there are plenty of talented women writers who can express it, or not as they please, and create fantastic erotica. And that has been true for as long as humans have expressed themselves in language and art and certainly since Sappho wrote her wonderful poetry some 2600 years ago.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I sense an impending culture war. Critics fluffing arrogant executive-class neurotics, vs a tide of successful erotica producers of the female persuasion. Yes, battle is joined! Ah, but count eyeballs. Just HOW many people read the Atlantic? Sorry folks, the war is already over.

Not many.

 

[xelliebabex]

For just $19.95 a month you can help the author and countless other women overcome their sexual PTSD. And if you call WOUNDED WOMAN right now we'll send you a free WOUNDED WOMAN blanket or tee shirt.

Humans been around for 600 million years or so, and worked out the kinks of sex and childbirth long ago. My dog had a litter of pups, and was hard at work from the moment they were born. She didn't think about it or read any books on the subject. Women, on the other hand are neurotic, and women writers are as crazy as shit house rats.

And we all love you right back JBJ <3

 

[sunandshadow]

Is "truthiness" actually a goal in sex writing? Personally, if I tried to write with ruthless realism about desire and sex (from my female point of view, since that's the point of view I happen to have), I'm pretty sure the result wouldn't be erotic to me. I don't think it would be appealing to men either, though I don't write specifically for men; I write for me, and if men happen to like it, cool, but not all that relevant. For me at least, if I'm not writing something heavily idealized I'm not writing something that succeeds at being erotic.

 

[Hypoxia]

Is "truthiness" actually a goal in sex writing?

Oh shit, I hope not!

Personally, if I tried to write with ruthless realism about desire and sex (from my female point of view, since that's the point of view I happen to have), I'm pretty sure the result wouldn't be erotic to me. I don't think it would be appealing to men either, though I don't write specifically for men; I write for me, and if men happen to like it, cool, but not all that relevant. For me at least, if I'm not writing something heavily idealized I'm not writing something that succeeds at being erotic.

Actual non-idealized sex, unfiltered by the erotic mind, can be off-putting. The head positioned south of my diaphragm may be repulsed by stomach gurglings and intestinal exhalations. Fungal infestations and skin conditions; body fluids whose flavors are not improved by what we have ingested; psychic disorders; even just drowsiness -- I fell asleep whilst giving head not long ago. Such do NOT make for arousing storytelling.

This is a site for erotic literature, mostly fictional. FICTIONAL. Maybe such literature has a basis in actuality, but it must be suitably pruned and presented, else it's just clinical reporting. And let's face it: Reality is over-rated. Our fantasies are much more fun.

 

[LadyVer]

FWIW, I believe women write better sex scenes than men. Male writers tend to want to put too much detail into sex scenes. But I also think that sex scenes are harder than other scenes to write, for both men and women.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

And we all love you right back JBJ <3

The gals who matter do, the others I don't care what they think or feel.

 

[DeathAndTaxes]

My takeaways from the article:

Author has certain opinions, feelings, and attitudes about sex coming from her own personal experiences; promptly assumes that every other woman must also have just the same set of issues so she can go on to generalize about it and speak for everyone.

She prefers some authors' writings about sex over that of other authors and tries to translate her preferences as to what constitutes "good" writing into fact instead of opinion. It seems to me that a person will judge writing to be good if it serves the purpose of themselves, the reader. This author seems to want her sex writing to serve the purpose of being something she can relate to, possibly based on her own confessions of confusion about her early sex life in the article, to make her feel more secure and "not alone." Further, she seems to presume that because this is what she needs from the writing, that this is what all people need.

Covering all of that, the article falls once again down the rabbit hole of women-are-like-this-and-men-are-like-that. We can generalize about people if we want to be lazy, but we're doing just that: being lazy.

We complicate things too much. Read what you like, stop reading what you don't like. Who gives a shit whether the author stands up to pee or has a stash of tampons under the sink, and how that may or may not have motivated them to tell a story a certain way?

I feel the same way about all the other forms of art or entertainment: I just like what I like; I don't need a critic to tell me what I should enjoy and I don't believe in "guilty pleasures." I don't feel guilt for being entertained by something someone else doesn't like. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

 

[Handley_Page]

My takeaways from the article:

We complicate things too much. Read what you like, stop reading what you don't like. Who gives a shit whether the author stands up to pee or has a stash of tampons under the sink, and how that may or may not have motivated them to tell a story a certain way?

I feel the same way about all the other forms of art or entertainment: I just like what I like; I don't need a critic to tell me what I should enjoy and I don't believe in "guilty pleasures." I don't feel guilt for being entertained by something someone else doesn't like. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

Well said!