Arranged marriages as literary topic.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Have any of you done this? Written about characters in arranged marriages? Thoughts on this phenomenon?

 

[HeatherVivant]

Do you have examples? It sounds intriguing. Almost a subcategory of submission, or maybe leaning more towards romance (as counterintuitive as it sounds), at least for the first encounter.

 

[sunandshadow]

I'm fond of the concept of doing this in batches, like Andre Norton's Year of the Unicorn, or the movie Westward the Women. The idea is that a group of men, or a mixed-gender group of related people, suddenly find it possible to obtain spouses, where before they couldn't. Perhaps they were a group of warriors, and now the war has ended. Or perhaps they were a group of poor people working together who just struck it rich. Or perhaps they were survivors of some disaster, who now are starting to rebuild their civilization and their species. Or perhaps its a political experiment to make peace between two races or between humans and a species of aliens by making the two groups live and work together, with the idea that any inter-species relationships that naturally crop up will be considered alliance marriages, and any half-blood children will be natural ambassadors. Mars Needs Women is a classic trope here too - some planet or group has lost most of its women to plague or has an excessive percentage of boys born, so they need to obtain women from somewhere else, typically Earth or some colony or other group of humans who were originally from Earth.

I've read several excellent romance novels about more standard arranged marriages too. Typically the man is the ruler of some castle or clan who has a scary reputation, and the woman has to find out the truth and be accepting and comforting to him. Classic Beauty and the Beast type story. Another nice variant is where the man has no social skills but is totally smitten with the woman so he decides the expedient thing to do is to kidnap her and make her marry him. In that case the woman's role is to outsmart him for his own good, because only if she wriggles free of his holding her prisoner or finds out a way to blackmail him in return can they start a real relationship on more equal footing.

 

[TxRad]

Never thought much about arranged marriages but I have had a few ideas on the Mail Order Bride type story. Nothing original enough to hold my interest long enough to write anything yet, though.

 

[MaddieKim]

Stumbled across this thread a few minutes ago.

... Classic Beauty and the Beast type story. Another nice variant is where the man has no social skills but is totally smitten with the woman so he decides the expedient thing to do is to kidnap her and make her marry him. In that case the woman's role is to outsmart him for his own good, because only if she wriggles free of his holding her prisoner ...

I’m in a quandary. I’ve written a story where the protagonist kidnaps the female, not because he’s socially inept but because he doesn’t want to take the time to woo and has decided she's the gal for him.

I have the story mostly finished, but hesitate to submit it after the outcry from my story Saving Caitlin which also starts with non-consent. This new story, though, has no BDSM in it. I’ve tried to rewrite it and take out the kidnapping and non-consent, but can’t get the story to work that way. It’s already over 100 Word.doc pages long. I hate to trash it, but it may have to remain a story that never, so to speak, goes to press.

Any ideas?

Maddie

 

[sr71plt]

Any ideas?

Yes, write and post the story you want to write and don't let a subset of the readership limit your creativity.

 

[damppanties]

Have any of you done this? Written about characters in arranged marriages? Thoughts on this phenomenon?

Done this, yes. Have it on Lit, no. Have written about characters in arranged marriages from a sexual perspective, no.

A lot of Indian authors on this site do that though.

What do you mean by thoughts on the phenomenon? That's kind of too vague a question.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Done this, yes. Have it on Lit, no. Have written about characters in arranged marriages from a sexual perspective, no.

A lot of Indian authors on this site do that though.

What do you mean by thoughts on the phenomenon? That's kind of too vague a question.

What kind of scenarios do you think most intriguing and appealing in this genre?

 

[damppanties]

What kind of scenarios do you think most intriguing and appealing in this genre?

It's not intriguing to me from a sexual perspective in the kind of writing I do*. Are you asking in other types of writing too? Perhaps if you talked about what intrigues you, I might be better able to respond to this.
Actually, the reason I am in this thread is because I come from a place where arranged marriages are a norm and I 'get' it. I might be able to offer a perspective if you're interested and if you ask or elaborate about what you're thinking, but I don't get turned on by that and they aren't a plot point in my writing. I don't find it appealing enough I guess.

*Actually, after writing the earlier post, I realized that one of my stories set in India has a character who is a wife in an arranged marriage, but that's not the main characteristic of the story, nor a plot point. It's just a situation she is in, part of who she is. (Untouchable Fate, if interested)

 

[sunandshadow]

I’m in a quandary. I’ve written a story where the protagonist kidnaps the female, not because he’s socially inept but because he doesn’t want to take the time to woo and has decided she's the gal for him.

I have the story mostly finished, but hesitate to submit it after the outcry from my story Saving Caitlin which also starts with non-consent. This new story, though, has no BDSM in it. I’ve tried to rewrite it and take out the kidnapping and non-consent, but can’t get the story to work that way. It’s already over 100 Word.doc pages long. I hate to trash it, but it may have to remain a story that never, so to speak, goes to press.

Any ideas?

Maddie

Well, I'm not familiar with whatever outcry there was, nor do I personally post fiction here so I don't know the community here, but I've seen many popular non-con stories, they just need a big non-con warning stamped on them to keep out the people who don't like that sort of thing.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

It's not intriguing to me from a sexual perspective in the kind of writing I do*. Are you asking in other types of writing too? Perhaps if you talked about what intrigues you, I might be better able to respond to this.
Actually, the reason I am in this thread is because I come from a place where arranged marriages are a norm and I 'get' it. I might be able to offer a perspective if you're interested and if you ask or elaborate about what you're thinking, but I don't get turned on by that and they aren't a plot point in my writing. I don't find it appealing enough I guess.

*Actually, after writing the earlier post, I realized that one of my stories set in India has a character who is a wife in an arranged marriage, but that's not the main characteristic of the story, nor a plot point. It's just a situation she is in, part of who she is. (Untouchable Fate, if interested)

I am particularly interested in the idea of an arranged marriage between two royals, and a rough beginning before they work it out in one of two ways:

1. Grow to love each other, given time, or....
2. Merely grow to like and respect each other.

I don't know which, so that should make it interesting, because that means whatever outcome develops naturally will take place.

Of course, it is entirely possible that the opposite might happen, and they hate each other, which could make for an interesting result, but that is not the direction that I am leaning at the moment.

 

[Handley_Page]

I’m in a quandary. I’ve written a story where the protagonist kidnaps the female, not because he’s socially inept but because he doesn’t want to take the time to woo and has decided she's the gal for him.

I have the story mostly finished, but hesitate to submit it after the outcry from my story Saving Caitlin which also starts with non-consent. This new story, though, has no BDSM in it. I’ve tried to rewrite it and take out the kidnapping and non-consent, but can’t get the story to work that way. It’s already over 100 Word.doc pages long. I hate to trash it, but it may have to remain a story that never, so to speak, goes to press.

Any ideas?
Maddie

Have you considered the possibility of a "temporary" kidnap (think of the 7 brides for 7 brothers film, where the Potterbees were cut off by snow fall) ?

-------
As to the arranged marriage, one has the problem of the would-be bride.
Some are raised in the faith of their forefathers and will accept an arranged marriage.
There are, of course, those who protest despite their upbringing. We have organisations to help them!

 

[D_Lynn]

For some reason, and I honestly don't know why, I find this topic highly intriguing. There are endless possibilities to where you might take this scenario. I have not written a story on this specific premise...yet. I'm sure I will at some point. I have written about a Master/Slave relationship that was arranged by a third party BDSM trainer where I likened it to the concept of an arranged marriage and the higher success rate of those relationships.

And I have spent quite a bit of time talking with the Indian developers I work with about their arranged marriages. I was surprised at some of the things I learned from them.

Mail order brides are also intriguing. A friend of mine was considering doing this. I perused a catalog he had of potential wives. That was an eye-opening experience in and of itself. My grandmother was actually a mail order bride. My grandfather came to America on a boat and sent for her from his homeland. He wanted/needed an Italian wife who could understand his language and customs.

Oh, wow...went down that rat hole. Anyway, please let me know what you decide to do with your idea. I'd love to hear about it or read the finished product on Lit.

 

[damppanties]

I am particularly interested in the idea of an arranged marriage between two royals, and a rough beginning before they work it out in one of two ways:

1. Grow to love each other, given time, or....
2. Merely grow to like and respect each other.

I don't know which, so that should make it interesting, because that means whatever outcome develops naturally will take place.

Of course, it is entirely possible that the opposite might happen, and they hate each other, which could make for an interesting result, but that is not the direction that I am leaning at the moment.

From the perspective of reality or the norm, I see 2 more than 1 much more. 1 happens, but is rare.

From experience and the people I see around me, the kind of sense of arranged marriage is mostly one of resignation / acceptance rather than 1 or 2 though. So you might want to think about that. I don't know what you're trying to do with your story but the mindset is different with people who go into an arranged marriage. Personal feelings are not really a priority.

As I read through your idea (royals), just some thoughts: For royals, the reasons for getting into an arranged marriage might be more politically based than most people. The primary things would never be personality characteristics or feelings for each other. I'm thinking it's kind of almost a sense of 'duty' to the royal family, to the publics, to the kingdom state. I don't know what time period you would be writing this in, so the way you treat it might be significantly different based on the place and time the story is set in.

Just my two cents.

 

[quimsical]

From the perspective of reality or the norm, I see 2 more than 1 much more. 1 happens, but is rare.

From experience and the people I see around me, the kind of sense of arranged marriage is mostly one of resignation / acceptance rather than 1 or 2 though. So you might want to think about that. I don't know what you're trying to do with your story but the mindset is different with people who go into an arranged marriage. Personal feelings are not really a priority.

As I read through your idea (royals), just some thoughts: For royals, the reasons for getting into an arranged marriage might be more politically based than most people. The primary things would never be personality characteristics or feelings for each other. I'm thinking it's kind of almost a sense of 'duty' to the royal family, to the publics, to the kingdom state. I don't know what time period you would be writing this in, so the way you treat it might be significantly different based on the place and time the story is set in.

Just my two cents.

Interesting. Resignation and acceptance don't really set a good stage for really hot fucking to take place; rather, it would seem that what happens is resigned sex. So this could create a scenario where a lover exists on the side, such that one of the parties finds in that lover's arms what they can't really find in the arranged marriage.

I agree with damppanties on the royals. Motivations for God and Kingdom, shall we say? I also like the scenario where multiple couples are forced to wed. One horrific scenario that was narrated to me (so take it with a pinch of salt, since I can't personally verify the authenticity of the tale) is that during Iraq's invasion of Kuwait, the invading army actually *forced* couples to wed, just so that they would watch them couple in front of them. I suppose premarital sex was societally condemned, and thus the invading army, who wished to see live sex for their own entertainment, created scenarios where marriages were arranged. At gun point. Which would meld arranged marriage with issues of consent. A good writer could do something interesting with that, maybe?

 

[sunandshadow]

The thing that appeals to me about either arranged marriages or kidnapping/prisoner/purchased pet or slave stories is when the constraints inspire the characters to creatively maneuver to make the best of things. Really not interested in a BDSM angle except for one awesome story I read where the owner was the submissive and was given a companion who then had to be encouraged that it was ok to act dominant and use a flogger on their owner &etc.

But here's an example plot of one of my own stories: Scary (but pretty) Mage A has blackmail or debts and uses these to force Timid Young B's family to start the process of arranging a marriage between them. Brooding Halfbreed C is in love with Timid Young B but knows he has no chance to marry her because he's poor, not to mention a halfbreed. B's favorite Clever Cousin D arrives and does not like seeing how frightened B is of A, so D decides to interfere. D actually finds A rather appealing, herself. D tries to get B to see the positive qualities of A, but they aren't really interesting to B, because the two are just a bad match. D tries to get A to see that if the forces the marriage he will be unhappy to have a wife who doesn't love him, but A thinks he's no lovable so no wife would love him. D tries to matchmake between B and C, and they do start to fall in love, but neither can really do anything about B's impending marriage to A. So D decides to substitute herself, marrying A despite her own fear of commitment, and then convinces A to use his wealth/power to see that B and C can get married.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I’m in a quandary. I’ve written a story where the protagonist kidnaps the female, not because he’s socially inept but because he doesn’t want to take the time to woo and has decided she's the gal for him.

I have the story mostly finished, but hesitate to submit it after the outcry from my story Saving Caitlin which also starts with non-consent. This new story, though, has no BDSM in it. I’ve tried to rewrite it and take out the kidnapping and non-consent, but can’t get the story to work that way. It’s already over 100 Word.doc pages long. I hate to trash it, but it may have to remain a story that never, so to speak, goes to press.

Any ideas?

Maddie

I agree with what the pilot said, and I believe almost everybody else here does too. Write the story you want to write, and don't be afraid to step on some toes. You are always going to piss off some people.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I think I'm getting a plot bunny here. 12 year old bride forced to marry and accepts her fate. Ten years later, family comes to US, and wife sees vast differences in her life and that of most American women. She rebels against oppressive husband and fucks any man who is available.

I wrote a story something like that. 16 year old Ruth was pressured into marriage with 50 year old church deacon. Sex with him is strictly for the purpose of having children, and extremely unsexy. She finds out what she has been missing and rebels against him. I had to make her 18 yo here, which took something away from the story.

 

[MaddieKim]

Have you considered the possibility of a "temporary" kidnap (think of the 7 brides for 7 brothers film, where the Potterbees were cut off by snow fall) ?

Wow, now there’s an old show. I have seen it, though. And I vaguely remember reruns of a TV series that may have been loosely based on it – Here Comes the Brides?

But, unfortunately, a ‘temporary’ kidnapping won’t work…he won’t let her go the next morning. And snow in August in Georgia doesn’t seem likely, either. I’ll have to think more on a solution to this quandary.
******
I do find the idea of arranged marriages intriguing. I started a story some time back about a father who wants to ‘arrange’ a marriage between his only child, an adult woman he all but abandoned years ago because he wanted a son, and a like-minded business associate. He wants a grandson and someone to run his business the way he wants it run when he retires. But again, unfortunately after a fairly decent start, the story just petered out.

 

[MaddieKim]

Thanks sr71plt and Boxlicker101,

Yes, write and post the story you want to write and don't let a subset of the readership limit your creativity.

I agree with what the pilot said, and I believe almost everybody else here does too. Write the story you want to write, and don't be afraid to step on some toes. You are always going to piss off some people.

This story may just get submitted, after all, thanks to the encouragement I’ve gotten here as well as a couple of friends who would like to see it put up. I’ll have to work a bit more on the ending first. And I have a story—nothing that will fit in with this discussion—that needs to be submitted first.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Not for a story, no. I am currently in contact with a shadchan for personal reasons, though. You want insights and thoughts based on experience, let me know.

 

[damppanties]

Interesting. Resignation and acceptance don't really set a good stage for really hot fucking to take place; rather, it would seem that what happens is resigned sex.

God, no! Arranged marriage, as you mentioned, is a sanction to have sex in societies that condemns premarital sex. So they go at it like bunnies after being all repressed and stuff. (At least the males.)

So this could create a scenario where a lover exists on the side, such that one of the parties finds in that lover's arms what they can't really find in the arranged marriage.

Yes. This is the other part of it. And partly the point of the story I have on Lit that I mentioned above. The other part is class dynamics, etc.

 

[TxRad]

God, no! Arranged marriage, as you mentioned, is a sanction to have sex in societies that condemns premarital sex. So they go at it like bunnies after being all repressed and stuff. (At least the males.)


Yes. This is the other part of it. And partly the point of the story I have on Lit that I mentioned above. The other part is class dynamics, etc.

Thank you Dampy. you have just answered a question that has hung up a story of mine for several years.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

God, no! Arranged marriage, as you mentioned, is a sanction to have sex in societies that condemns premarital sex. So they go at it like bunnies after being all repressed and stuff. (At least the males.)


Yes. This is the other part of it. And partly the point of the story I have on Lit that I mentioned above. The other part is class dynamics, etc.

That is certainly a factor, especially in cultures where it was acceptable to take a paramour of the lower classes. Of course, the more forbidden aspects make for great literature at times (Lady Chatterley's Lover, for example).

 

[damppanties]

Thank you Dampy. you have just answered a question that has hung up a story of mine for several years.

What, what? Curious minds want to know!

You're welcome.