arousal and denial

[hmmnmm]

Once upon a time an interest in erotica lured me to submitting story attempts here on Lit. Discovered it to be more difficult than I anticipated but that difficulty was itself a sort of addictive quality. So I submitted stories, went through ups and downs, eventually gravitated towards poetry, then was doing poems and stories, and then ended up burnt out and chucked it all. Or so I tried. Because it always resurfaces. It's what I think about and no matter what I try to write, it ends up veering that way.

Some recent file reviews of stuff I once had here revealed what should've been obvious but at the time I just didn't see, plus I had a few missing pieces which I didn't understand were missing pieces. The thing most stories had in common was a girl-next-door type of girl who ended up taking over an older guy, the guy being someone who believed he should not be taken over by such a girl, for one reason or another (one was a preacher with certain convictions which he was quite certain about...). Well what many of them had in common was the lack of actual penetrative sex but lots of arousal. Lots of oral sex. Much teasing. But little resolution.

To get to the point: I just lately realized the element that was missing was that of enforced chastity. Or a physical restraint. All the stories I never finished (all of them), all the stories that got bogged down (all of them) - if I go back and plug in that element of an enforced chastity, I can see how they would fall together.

the problem: while the fantasy of enforced chastity possesses a great deal of potential, for the sake of plausibility, I've read that real chastity devices are not fully foolproof - that if someone in one of those devices really wanted to get out or get relief, they could.

So for the sake of a story - total fantasy, yes - but for a touch of plausibility... ?

 

[dale124]

So for the sake of a story - total fantasy, yes - but for a touch of plausibility... ?

I'm not sure of the question. Are you asking if total chastity is plausible or if the "girl next door" could get that older man to agree to chastity?

 

[HeyAll]

I'm not sure what the question is either.

And for what it's worth, if you do write this, "Arousal and Denial" is a prefect story title. It really caught my eye when I saw it.

 

[hmmnmm]

ah, just like old times


The nut of the idea goes something like: A husband loves to fuck his wife but he also loves to eat pussy, however the wife is a woman who can actually take or leave oral, because she really loves the cock. Throw her down and pound that pussy, and she's a happy camper.

So some incident comes along that leads to the wife whoring out her husband's face and tongue to many women of the neighborhood.

But the wife's stipulation is something like, 'girls, you can use his face to your hearts content but his cock is mine.'

So during the husband's 'workday' there would be risk of passions getting out of hand and thus violating the wife's term of use. So for peace of mind she'd want to ensure that the husband could not use his cock on the women he is sent out to orally pleasure. Enter the chastity device, which I was not savvy about but after a little research ended up a bit disappointed.

In real life I don't think a woman can really wield that kind of control over a man. Unless he allows it. If a guy really wants to pop a nut he'll figure out a way. Or if he's been playing along, he might get an orgasm, come to his senses, think, 'this is stupid, me letting a woman run my libido' and he could regain his masculine dominance pretty easy - if he really wanted to.

So in a real reality: nah. But it's a helluva fantasy. The reason it is a helluva fantasy is that it isn't a real life plausibility. Turns things around. Playing with a juicy What If?

the Question would be: for the sake of a story that really has all but zero possibility of happening in real life...

figure out a way to make it believable? Or just go with it as pure fantasy? Like, in the real world a man could get out of a chastity device if he really wanted to, but in this fantasy he really really wants to but really really can't?

You know, it wouldn't even have to be a real device. The wife/woman/women end up wielding real and irrefutable control.

For awhile it's a fun game. But a time does come when the guy really wants to quit. Wants to get back to his old, 'nobody tells me what to do' - but he can't.

Or the real question might be: how much to worry about believability when it comes to writing a story that is pure fantasy?

 

[dale124]

Well, to be honest, I can't speak as to whether there is an escape-proof chastity device. It's not a topic I have researched. But assuming that you're right that they can all be foiled, I assume that is why "physical restraint" was included in your original post. Supposedly as a backup to the actual chastity device? A second layer of defense, in that if he's restrained, he can't get out of the chastity device? And maybe tapping into his fetish for bondage to then sneak up on him with the chastity belt AFTER he's bound?

 

[hmmnmm]

well my research efforts are still fairly slim but that's what I've gathered - I don't know for sure that there might be some that are absolutely inescapable. Apparently some are more difficult than others - but not impossible.

And (as it so often happens) a second-thought hits after posting what i thought was well-thought out.

going back to those other earlier tales that ended up unfinished - the fun and interesting part was the creating the female lead character and having her use her beauty and feminine charms to slowly reel the poor sucker into her web. But I ended up bogged down at the point she should've taken final control.

as I now remember better, it was this same dilemma.... and even as I type this more questions begin to pop up. A few Whys I'd not thought of.

Appreciate the reply. An extra layer of restraint would be a great direction to think towards. But there would still be times of relative freedom, if brief. Maybe the female lead's primary tool is an expertize in psychological manipulation.

More I remember and think about it I see why it is mainly fantasy material. Maybe just go with suspension of disbelief and let what falls fall as it will. Or it may be a reminder why I chucked it all in the first place.

 

[dale124]

Is it unrealistic to assume that there might be some men who are so enamored of a woman that they would do whatever she told them to? Or in this case, not do something that she's forbidden them to? True, it's probably not the norm, but it's not outside the realm of possibility either. In that instance, the chastity belt might not be there to enforce her control, but merely to symbolize her control.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

No woman I know of wants to dominate a sissy, they wanna dominate real men ,but real men dont submit to girls per se, they submit to the will of The Prince, and if The Prince orders them to their deaths in combat, so be it. Real men who submit to females do it because The Prince orders it.

 

[hmmnmm]

Is it unrealistic to assume that there might be some men who are so enamored of a woman that they would do whatever she told them to? Or in this case, not do something that she's forbidden them to? True, it's probably not the norm, but it's not outside the realm of possibility either. In that instance, the chastity belt might not be there to enforce her control, but merely to symbolize her control.

The word may be Chemistry. Perhaps, as you say, not such a normal chemistry, but if it is there it just is. If it is then it is obviously possible. And that is really all that may matter and the fun of the challenge in trying to make an unlikely something become at least a little believable. I'm even starting to think that if the shaping of the characters could be pulled off well enough, there might not even be a need to use mechanical devices. So I could be wrong about that initial claim of discovery. Nothing new there.

What would give it some teeth (at least from how I see it) is that it does become something that exists outside the bounds of normalcy. A person who would be the most unlikely to do something.... finds themselves doing just that. Maybe a nondescript weekend gets crazy and after coming to his senses.... working title might be something like, What Was I Thinking?


Veering a bit off-topic: Now that I've gone and fetched more coffee and mulled a little more, more that was unclear seems clearer. You know, for a day to day existence, and for a person - I'm about the most normal person on the face of the earth and for real life, yes, give me normal. But when I get interested in trying to write something - make something up.... and I wonder if they got too far-fetched and the problems ensued in making the far-fetched believable, and discouragement descended and got comfortable.

 

[dale124]

The word may be Chemistry. Perhaps, as you say, not such a normal chemistry, but if it is there it just is. If it is then it is obviously possible. And that is really all that may matter and the fun of the challenge in trying to make an unlikely something become at least a little believable. I'm even starting to think that if the shaping of the characters could be pulled off well enough, there might not even be a need to use mechanical devices. So I could be wrong about that initial claim of discovery. Nothing new there.

What would give it some teeth (at least from how I see it) is that it does become something that exists outside the bounds of normalcy. A person who would be the most unlikely to do something.... finds themselves doing just that. Maybe a nondescript weekend gets crazy and after coming to his senses.... working title might be something like, What Was I Thinking?


Veering a bit off-topic: Now that I've gone and fetched more coffee and mulled a little more, more that was unclear seems clearer. You know, for a day to day existence, and for a person - I'm about the most normal person on the face of the earth and for real life, yes, give me normal. But when I get interested in trying to write something - make something up.... and I wonder if they got too far-fetched and the problems ensued in making the far-fetched believable, and discouragement descended and got comfortable.

Well, I read the comments of some guys on some forums when they look at a picture of a dominatrix doing something really extreme (extreme meaning something waaaaay beyond forced chastity). They will say, "I wish I could find a woman to do that to me". And I shake my head in disbelief at some of those comments. I have no doubt that most the guys that type that on the screen are typing without thinking first. And if given the opportunity to have a domme do what is pictured, they would probably hesitate.......and then run the other way. I certainly would.

But I'm equally certain that there are a few guys would could be so obssessed (or so in love) with a woman that common sense goes out the window. Which makes your original story about enforced chastity plausible. And a lot more plausible than some of more extreme kink some guys claim they would let a woman do to them.

 

[hmmnmm]

Well, I read the comments of some guys on some forums when they look at a picture of a dominatrix doing something really extreme (extreme meaning something waaaaay beyond forced chastity). They will say, "I wish I could find a woman to do that to me". And I shake my head in disbelief at some of those comments. I have no doubt that most the guys that type that on the screen are typing without thinking first. And if given the opportunity to have a domme do what is pictured, they would probably hesitate.......and then run the other way. I certainly would.

But I'm equally certain that there are a few guys would could be so obssessed (or so in love) with a woman that common sense goes out the window. Which makes your original story about enforced chastity plausible. And a lot more plausible than some of more extreme kink some guys claim they would let a woman do to them.

Research has landed me in some of those worlds and I can see that's really not the direction I'd be interested in. That about 'common sense going out the window' - that's pretty much it - the woman who could cause that.... the right woman, the right situation, developments take a few twists and turns. Or being able to create that character.

Back to the original topic title: now I'm a middle-aged married guy and happily faithful. But we are presently in a place where the beautiful women are plentiful. So yeah I'm married and true but I'm a man and I've eyes. So in a way, I experience arousal and denial almost every day. Get on the subway and see a beauty and it's impossible to not feel a perfectly normal reaction. Like a small voice says, 'you'd so love to tear into that wouldn't you? What a night it would be to spend it with her, huh? Just think what she would feel like. Aw, so sorry, but you can't and you won't'. Because _________. Marriage, age, circumstance, she's married, getting off at the next stop, etc... So I see, I want, but can't have.

So then I think: what about taking up the pen and entering into storyland and what if we ramped that feeling of denied arousal a few notches. What if... what if a guy ended up in a situation where he was surrounded by exquisitely beautiful woman/women, was on a constant erotic high - but for some reason he was prevented from acting on those intense desires? His natural masculine nature is coerced to the max, becomes a caged lion. All he thought he knew - or prided in himself - flies out the window. Ends up driven all the way insane.

Maybe the woman is a serial man-destroyer. But super super beautiful. Knows she is. Chooses a man, a masculine man, and sets out on a long slow journey of destroying him.

Begin to see lots of possibilities all of a sudden.

But I better stop yakking about it here and see what can be really put together. Again.

Appreciate the discourse. Really does help to bounce off ideas and get more ideas.

 

[hmmnmm]

Just remembered:

had this one rolling around my head for a while, sort of similar, sort of different

Married couple. Wife inherits a private academy for young ladies. They both handle much of the administration and teaching, but it falls upon the husband to mete out disciplinary spankings and paddlings.

In his paddling and spanking of the academy's young ladies he can go about it in any manner he feels fit to. Bare bottom spankings over his knees. He can tie them up any which way he wishes. He can pin their skirts to their blouses and pull their panties down and... frontwards or backwards - anything he wants and for the most trivial of infractions.

But penetration of any kind: cock, fingers, tongue - is strictly forbidden. It is not entirely intolerable to the husband because the wife (who is the ultimate authority since she's the primary beneficiary) trusts him and she is generous in supplying relief to her husband, lets him - encourages him - to discuss how disobedient the young ladies were, what he had to do with them. But he is not denied. Not yet.

But of course he eventually crosses the line, goes too far, and there's no way he can keep this from his wife.

Now could come in some sort of enforced chastity. Maybe now the wife oversees the disciplining the students. But the husband has to do it. He has to put them over his knee, bare bottomed, tie them up, pin their skirts to their blouses, pull their panties down, spank them... even more than he did before - but now he gets no relief from the wife, who takes to the taking of her pleasures from the students.

That's about as far as I've gotten with this.

Oh and he still has to teach but the students become more brazen in exposing themselves - maybe there is a leader of the pack who becomes a joint administrator with the wife....

something like that

 

[hmmnmm]

Ah!
The issue might just be resolved.

There might be the feeling that if something is to come in that goes out of the bounds of what is considered normal, that an explanation should be in order. But normal is one thing and reality is another. Weird shit happens all the time in reality. When the weird shit does happen it doesn't stop and try to explain itself, like, 'yeah I know this an odd twist of events, let me try to explain' - no it just happens. So maybe if a story wants to go in a way that might be hard to explain, or if a difficult-to-explain or justify incident wants to become part of the story.... maybe it would come off as more realistic if it just happens. Like, if a bunch of giant tentacles suddenly erupted from the ground and began to crush the buildings in a city, someone might say, 'how did this happen? it isn't supposed to happen, this can't be real'. Oh but it is happening and it is very real.

Sometimes it really helps to write out dilemmas. Just the act of writing it out seems to stimulate answers.

 

[dale124]

Ah!
The issue might just be resolved.

There might be the feeling that if something is to come in that goes out of the bounds of what is considered normal, that an explanation should be in order. But normal is one thing and reality is another. Weird shit happens all the time in reality. When the weird shit does happen it doesn't stop and try to explain itself, like, 'yeah I know this an odd twist of events, let me try to explain' - no it just happens. So maybe if a story wants to go in a way that might be hard to explain, or if a difficult-to-explain or justify incident wants to become part of the story.... maybe it would come off as more realistic if it just happens. Like, if a bunch of giant tentacles suddenly erupted from the ground and began to crush the buildings in a city, someone might say, 'how did this happen? it isn't supposed to happen, this can't be real'. Oh but it is happening and it is very real.

Sometimes it really helps to write out dilemmas. Just the act of writing it out seems to stimulate answers.

Plus, human emotions are much more unpredictable than tentacles coming out of the ground.

But seriously, human emotions ARE unpredicatable. There are aspects of certain kinks and certain erotica that turn me on, yet if you asked me to explian why, all I would be able to do would be to shrug my shoulders.

 

[hmmnmm]

Plus, human emotions are much more unpredictable than tentacles coming out of the ground.

But seriously, human emotions ARE unpredicatable. There are aspects of certain kinks and certain erotica that turn me on, yet if you asked me to explian why, all I would be able to do would be to shrug my shoulders.

Exactly.

Several thoughts came along since I read this. Don't know which to set out...

another fun thing I like to do when I'm out and about and have the occasion to enjoy the scenery: see a beautiful woman, imagine, if we two were together - for a night or a week or a year - sure I can think a lot I'd like to do, but what if she's got ideas that fall into some of those regions that supposedly lie outside what we call normal? Maybe it's a kink that you'd say, 'no way'... until that one beautiful woman comes along and the 'no way' changes to 'hm'. Or: finish the sentence, 'I would never_____.' But maybe that one special woman comes along, 'well maybe this one time.'

I think this is another thing that keeps drawing me back to trying to write this stuff. Human sexuality is so fucking fascinating. I mean there's no object or activity that someone out there doesn't fetishize or get turned on by.

well those other thoughts are lost now... but they'll come back. They always do.


eta: so it would be more Who than What.

And since we're talking fictional, it would be the characters more than what the characters do. Or how the characters end up doing what they do. Let us not forget that oh so important element of Conflict. Internal Conflict. Perfect opportunity for that kind of exploration. Conflict, suspense... changes.

Of course it's easy to sit here and pontificate, another to quit the pontificating and get to doing it. I set tomorrow as the deadline to quit thinking and researching and to begin the actual writing. I think much has been settled. Very very helpful.

However, a new problem emerges: ideas are flooding in - possibilities for stories I had on here but abandoned-deleted, stories I started to put on here but strayed away from - not to mention a flurry of brand new ideas.

Humans. Sexuality. Human sexuality. Fucking fascinating.

 

[hmmnmm]

Is it unrealistic to assume that there might be some men who are so enamored of a woman that they would do whatever she told them to? Or in this case, not do something that she's forbidden them to? True, it's probably not the norm, but it's not outside the realm of possibility either. In that instance, the chastity belt might not be there to enforce her control, but merely to symbolize her control.

This was probably enough to solve the problem.
Spent a few days on a draft. Tried including the device. Don't really care for it. Too much like a toy or game. Studied some of what is out there. Much seems to comply with strict-drawn templates. Not my thing.

Exploring the psychological angle however - becomes much more interesting. But very difficult to write and doubly difficult if it will be erotic - much less believable. Another to set aside for another someday. Oh well.

 

[MatthewVett]

This was probably enough to solve the problem.
Spent a few days on a draft. Tried including the device. Don't really care for it. Too much like a toy or game. Studied some of what is out there. Much seems to comply with strict-drawn templates. Not my thing.

Exploring the psychological angle however - becomes much more interesting. But very difficult to write and doubly difficult if it will be erotic - much less believable. Another to set aside for another someday. Oh well.

If you're more interesting in the psychological, than you don't need to be as plausible with the means. You could always introduce magic that simply lets her temporarily remove his dick for safe-keeping, which she then places in a little locked box, and promises him that he can get it back only if he follows her every instruction.

 

[subwannabe]

I'm not an expert in this area but it is my belief that it is impossible to get out of a male chastity device with the exception of two ways:

1. The key

2. breaking the unit

If the unit is broken then the person in control will know. They could hold something over the head of the controlled. In my case, I would love to be controlled and turned into a slave by my wife and sometimes fantasize about being locked up by her. I would know that if I were to break out of my unit to get relief that when she found out about it she would stop endulging in my fantasy and I would be left depressed that something I truly wanted would no longer be available as an option. This would be a strong motivator. I sometimes fantasize about her tying me up, putting a device on me, and checking on it regularly. On occasion she would retie me back up to either tease the hell out of me or let me cum, followed by her locking me back up while still tied up. She would never let me out unless I was tied up during the time that I was free.

 

[duckyquack]

In real life I don't think a woman can really wield that kind of control over a man. Unless he allows it. If a guy really wants to pop a nut he'll figure out a way. Or if he's been playing along, he might get an orgasm, come to his senses, think, 'this is stupid, me letting a woman run my libido' and he could regain his masculine dominance pretty easy - if he really wanted to.

Why can't the woman wield that kind of control over the man? I think the scenario is erotic and believable without having the need for a chastity device. The man doesn't necessarily have to become dominant here. However I think the other women in the scenario would need to be only interested in receiving oral sex only for whatever reason - If they are the type to want penetration when they become horny, then you're right it becomes less believable.

Perhaps the man's oral skills become well known among the group after the first encounter and the other women want to try him out. I think it's possible that your "chastity device" could be an entirely psychological one.