Are you good at close third person? Can I read it?

[joy_of_cooking]

It's been pointed out to me (and I see why) that I tend to write a kind of wobbly third person.

Mostly I narrate externally observable dialogue and actions as witnessed by a single character. My characters tend to be honest, open types that talk freely about their feelings. Or they look away or fidget or sigh or whatever.

Occasionally, though, I also "swoop into" that character's mind for short stretches to reveal thoughts that can't be spoken or acted out (because they need to be concealed, or there's nobody around to talk to, etc.).

I'm curious what a more consistently close third person narration looks like, where the reader stays firmly embedded in the pov character's mind all the time.

If you write like that, can you recommend me some of your stories?

 

[alohadave]

Just because it's close third doesn't mean that the narrator has to reveal everything the character is thinking.

 

[NotWise]

Not me.

The close third person you're talking about seems to differ from first person only as a fairly artificial construction. I tend to wobble in the other direction. I work from one person's point of view, but usually stay out of their head. There's nothing significant that isn't expressed in action or dialogue.

 

[djrip]

All of my stuff is close 3rd. Usually a single pov character, but sometimes I switch between a couple, as in Wrong Twin Rubdown.

When you say you swoop in, you mean into some other character besides the pov one, right? I'd say if you want to stick with close third in that situation, have the pov char wonder about what the other one is thinking. Cindy got a far away look in her eye. Joe wondered if she was thinking about her ex. Or whatever.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

No I swoop into the same character I I've been following around.

 

[djrip]

Ok well that's just what happens in close 3rd, sounds fine to me!

 

[djrip]

No I swoop into the same character I I've been following around.

Oh wait, do you mean you switch to using "I" pronouns? In that case I recommend maybe using italics for the direct thoughts. (If you want to be like Game of Thrones) (wait, i meant Robert Jordan. Maybe GRRM too, not sure)

 

[SimonDoom]

The other term for this is "free indirect style." This is the style I try to achieve most of the time when I use 3d person POV. The differences between this POV and other variations of 3d person POV are:

1. There is no difference between the point of view of the narrator and the point of view of the POV character. They are one and the same. The author never inserts himself/herself into the narrative apart from narrating things exactly how the character would see them and in the same voice that the character likely would use.

2. The use of internal thought tags is minimized or eliminated. It is replaced by narration, which tells the reader directly what the character is thinking without using tags. So rather than write:

Dave saw the hot blonde walk by the pool as he read his book. He whistled and thought, "Damn, she's hot," and decided he had to meet her.

You would write:

Dave looked up from his book. The hot blonde walked by the pool. Dave whistled. He wanted to meet her.

Jane Austen is a good example of an author who used this style a lot, although not exclusively. Most of the time, Pride and Prejudice, although told in 3d person, is told from Lizzie's POV.

A story of mine that strives for this POV is Lisa and The Poolboy: https://literotica.com/s/lisa-and-the-pool-boy.

 

[djrip]

I'm reading Clothes Make the Masochist now and it seems to me to be perfectly executed close 3rd.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I think I'm pretty good at it. Some examples that I've used it with a single POV character:

The Adventures of Ranger Ramona

or

Wild Birds of Maine

Switching between two POVs:

Oyster River

Switching between multiple POVs:

The Gold Dollar Girls

 

[stickygirl]

I'll put my hand up - I don't know what that means, I just write. It's for others to tell me.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'll put my hand up - I don't know what that means, I just write. It's for others to tell me.

It pretty much just means the the narrator, who is not a character in the story, knows and describes a character or characters thoughts and feelings.

 

[stickygirl]

It pretty much just means the the narrator, who is not a character in the story, knows and describes a character or characters thoughts and feelings.

Just so long as it isn't a threesome with someone you know well.

Actually, I think this is how I write nearly all my stuff and here's one, Goalposts or my series that starts with Under your Skin

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I'm reading Clothes Make the Masochist now and it seems to me to be perfectly executed close 3rd.

Oh interesting. Maybe I just misunderstood what that term meant.

Switching between multiple POVs:

The Gold Dollar Girls

I read and liked all three of the gold dollar girls stories. And ranger Ramona is on my list as research for workplace harassment.

Thanks, everyone!

 

[BobbyandtheCabin]

It's been pointed out to me (and I see why) that I tend to write a kind of wobbly third person.

Mostly I narrate externally observable dialogue and actions as witnessed by a single character. My characters tend to be honest, open types that talk freely about their feelings. Or they look away or fidget or sigh or whatever.

Occasionally, though, I also "swoop into" that character's mind for short stretches to reveal thoughts that can't be spoken or acted out (because they need to be concealed, or there's nobody around to talk to, etc.).

I'm curious what a more consistently close third person narration looks like, where the reader stays firmly embedded in the pov character's mind all the time.

If you write like that, can you recommend me some of your stories?

I think this story fits your bill pretty well.
Hope you enjoy

https://www.literotica.com/s/asleep-in-the-log-cabin-ch-01

 

[Altissimus]

My latest is FIS/close-third-person: The Mirror Made Me Do It, Part 1

Part 2 should be out shortly, and it's almost all CTP.

 

[oneagainst]

Oxygen Games is close 3rd person, alternating between FMC and MMC as the bets switch, so you can see inside the head of the person who has to take the bet.

 

[intim8]

It's been pointed out to me (and I see why) that I tend to write a kind of wobbly third person.

Mostly I narrate externally observable dialogue and actions as witnessed by a single character. My characters tend to be honest, open types that talk freely about their feelings. Or they look away or fidget or sigh or whatever.

Occasionally, though, I also "swoop into" that character's mind for short stretches to reveal thoughts that can't be spoken or acted out (because they need to be concealed, or there's nobody around to talk to, etc.).

I'm curious what a more consistently close third person narration looks like, where the reader stays firmly embedded in the pov character's mind all the time.

If you write like that, can you recommend me some of your stories?

I tend to use a pretty close 3P. All but two of my stories use it (Santa and Nineteen). At the Big Bay Window might be the best example of it. Or maybe And Then There Were Five. (Link to my stories below)

 

[ElectricBlue]

I use close third a lot, the stories seem to do pretty well.

The Floating World is as good an introduction as any.

 

[Euphony]

Quick and a "most of the way there" guide.



It will *feel* cheesy, more about pandering to a desperate neophyte audience than classic "craft work" books but there is real foundational work here. Plus, many of us have blind spots on even the basics. And it's a breezy read.

If you want to be more contemplative and deep dive concepts, I connected the most with this.



Far less of a jumper cables start to get you going, more the actual deep dive repair your emergency jump is supposed to limp you to.

Worth the time investment if you want to hone.

I tried the "read other writers" but I couldn't consistently internalize it.

Had to break down my own prose and make tangible examples my memory played nice with.

 

[AG31]

My latest is FIS/close-third-person: The Mirror Made Me Do It, Part 1

Part 2 should be out shortly, and it's almost all CTP.

I get Error 404 when I click on your link.

 

[SimonDoom]

I've moved toward that style of writing, which is also called free indirect style. One of my stories that more or less follows that style is https://literotica.com/s/anything-for-the-sale.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Thanks for all the reading!

 

[AwkwardMD]

For me, close third person means doing something with that along the lines of an unreliable narrator. You've already read my The Perfect Storm, which is maybe the best example of mine, but you might also enjoy Human Resource. For much of the story, the main character is trying (and failing) to ignore her... inner demons.

General trigger warning on this one. It's kind of dark.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I read Human Resource! I liked it.