Are you evil?

[MaxSebastian]

Are you evil? Or is it just me?

I get this request to edit someone's story. It's got perfect spelling and grammar, which is great, but essentially it's just a list of what happens in someone's fantasy. 750 words, not much over, and it's basically a slightly expounded version of I-met-this-guy-at-work-we-went-out-for-a-drink-we-went-back-to-his-place-we-made-out-he-wants-to-see-me-again. There were a couple of other details included, like how much the guy paid for the taxi, but nothing much to keep the Sandman away.

And this person said to me: Any help you can give would be appreciated.

So, what do I do?

I act like an editor, which is what the whole thing is about. Basically, I politely suggest that the story needs characters (at the moment, not to reveal identities, here, but it's just 'I' and 'A Certain Famous Guy'), a plot and the writing needs to be more than just this-happened-then-this-happened-then-this-happened. It needs emotions, it needs thought, it needs all five senses to be explored (hey, two or three would be good for a start), it needs dialogue that brings the characters alive.

Actually, I forgot to tell this person about the dialogue. To be honest, I was caught up in the whole frightfest of the rest of it. Maybe next time.

So anyway, it seems like maybe this writer was expecting a quiet pat on the back. Hell, it's spelled right, isn't it? What more do you want? What are you, Simon Cowell or something? I've shown it to my friends, they liked it. You're just evil.

They didn't actually say that, but I could tell this person was thinking it. Behind the words I-just-want-to-write-a-short-story-here-not-a-book was the implication that I Did The Wrong Thing.

I mean, what right did I have to say those mean things about this person's story? What right did I have?

Hello! I'm an editor!

You've got to expect some criticism if you go to an editor and ask for help on your story. Editors aren't here to say well-jeez-that's-great-dude on something someone hawked up and flobbed onto the sidewalk.

You ask me for my opinion, I'll give you my opinion. I'm not being nasty, I'm being polite, I'm trying to find the good in there, too, for encouragement purposes. But if it needs a lot of work, I'm going to say it needs a lot of work. You don't need to write a piece as long as the Bible to include good characters, interesting plots and sparkling dialogue.

If you don't actually want tips on areas other than spelling and grammar (which seemed to be the situation here), say so. I don't like just correcting spelling and grammar, I think it's a waste of an opportunity, but you ask for "whatever help I can give", I'm not going to shirk from the truth.

Smell the glove.

 

[Guest]

It's important, I believe, to set up a clear understanding up front for what the writer's expectations from the editor are, and what the deliverables from the editor to the writer will be. For me, a flag would have gone up if I got a pretty loose and broad request for "Any help you can give . . ."

That said, I don't think you did anything wrong, Max. The suggestions and opinions any of us make should be understood to be helpful, if not to stir additional thought in the writer to completely reconsider an issue or an element in the story. And nothing should be implied as some evil attack by the editor of the writer's work when these critiques are made. (We're also talking about constructive criticisms versus mindless rants.)

I'm one who believes there is some risk offering pats-on-the-back of an author's work, even if the editor considers it exceptional. Objective editing is difficult (you really need to practice at it) since most of us don't like hurting another person's feelings, but it's a good habit to get into since it cuts to the chase for what is really needed: critical repairs or improvements of the story or work.

Whether the suggestions made by the editor are appreciated or even considered as useful by the writer, which is her/his right to accept or ignore, often raises a performance question for the editor: Did I do my job? (We too like the occasional pat-on-the-back, don't we? That's the trouble with being human.) But instead, it's something we often find ourselves growing thick skins to defend against.

So I don't think it's being evil as much as it is trying hard to remain emotionally detached in the process. Getting paid for this effort could reduce the pain, I suppose, but if you're peforming this service—for free—my suggestion is not to waste a second more thinking about your thoughtful contributions to the writer.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

If someone sends me a story that is basically Dead On Arrival, I just tell them so and send it back. Editors aren't supposed to be ghostwriters and I'm not going to use heroic efforts to try and get a heartbeat out of someone's corpse.

What bothers me most is getting a story from someone who clearly has no idea of what a story's supposed to be, who has probably never read any decent fiction in his life, and who thinks that his reminiscences of his junior year of college are fascinating basically because he doesn't realize that 200,000 people have already had the same experiences and already written the same story.

I have no patience with someone who doesn't know jacksquat about fiction and who proclaims his ignorance by sending you a piece of crap in the first place. I'm polite about it, but I don't mince words. I'll tell them that they should read some good non-Lit fiction first and see how theirs measures up before sending it off to an editor for "polishing", because no matter how much you rub a turd it never will turn into gold.


---dr.M.

 

[bridgeburner]

Sounds like something I recently edited

Hiya Max,

I think I got this story, as well. In fact, I'd actually put money on it. I feel for you because I know what the problems were with the story and also the deliberations I had to go through to figure out just what I could fix and what would have to be left.

I fully support the evil Dr. M's action to reject stories as DOA.

I may heartily regret getting involved in this project, but I was curious as to whether or not I could improve this writer's skills. We've got a verrrry long haul, but I figured I'd work on things a bit at a time. I may fail and the author may end up sending me hate mail and flaming me all over the boards, but I felt like making the attempt. I was having a non-evil day.

After several changes it's still not a compelling story, but it's marginally better than it was. I've no idea whether it will be accepted by Laurel or not, but I've certainly read worse on Lit. I'm hoping I can work on other things in the author's next attempt. I may have to come on out and say 'there's no story in your story", but I'm on this power trip right now to see if I can teach the author to write.

I'm sure I'll be weeping in my beer over this decision at some later date, but I promise not to come and cry to you guys about it.

So, uh, no, you're not evil, Max. Not for this, anyway. You may have plenty of soul-blackening evilness in some other aspect of your character, but unless you were a total ass, you get no evil-brownie points for this.


-B

 

[bridgeburner]

Do you ever go back and look at your posts and say to yourself:

"I am such an ass."

 

[MaxSebastian]

Do you ever go back and look at your posts and say to yourself:

"I am such an ass."

All the time, but hey, nobody can vote on my posts.

dr_mabeuse: As William Shakespeare probably never said, You Da Man. 'Dead On Arrival'. I like that. I may use it next time the sentiment comes up.

 

[bridgeburner]

On reflection I notice that my post may have appeared to be aimed at Max. It wasn't. Not even a little bit. I just looked at my own post and thought I sounded more than a tad conceited.


Sheesh. If only I could resolve myself to being all evil all the time I'd be so much better off. None of this horrid conflicted conscience stuff.


-B