Goldenfinger
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2020
- Posts
- 4,424
Definitely submissive. Didn’t know I could get more submissive than I was.
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I was reminded of how submission turns me on today getting a haircut, and my stylist, a tall solid gal with buzzed hair would turn me head this way and that, tell me not to move. Oh right I like that…
I tend to be submissive. It is something I am working on.
Submissive![]()
^^^^^ THIS RIGHT HERE IS PERFECT!!! ^^^^^This is an interesting reply. It implies submissiveness is a weakness. I definitely don’t see it that way at all.
It’s about control. Dominants want to have it, submissives want to relinquish it. Neither is inherently better or stronger than the other, and both should have an underlying desire to please their partner.
Dominance is not inherently rough or violent or cruel or demeaning. And submission is not inherently weak or subservient or meek or fearful. They CAN be those things, but that is up to the partners and how they want to structure their dynamic. And it can change daily, hourly, yearly.
Personally, I identify as a dominant. For me it stems from a desire to take care of someone else’s needs, nurture and guide, snd yes, control. It’s not, as I said, a strength, but rather a pattern of brokenness. I am completely uncoachable and unreceptive to direction because I always think I know better. I’m unable to passively receive care or affection, I have to claim it, take it, direct it. In the bedroom, if my partner does anything I haven’t specifically instructed, I am unable to respond to it. To a vanilla lover I am a giant asshole, which is why I absolutely need a submissive partner.
^^^^^ THIS RIGHT HERE IS PERFECT!!! ^^^^^
As someone who is primarily strongly dominant, I couldn’t agree more. Dominance and submission is about creating balance between the two. And you can only push your boundaries from a place of deep mutual respect and trust. A dom’s “ownership” of their sub also includes being responsible for their well being, including check-ins and aftercare. You can’t expect anyone to truly submit without complete trust.