Too many stories you read around here have the perfect ending: the bulbous cock blowing the perfect mound of muck, the plateau upon plateau of orgasm, the bark of a happy dog. Personally, I'd love to read a story that ends with a dose of reality: like the cops arresting you for walking naked in the zoo, your penis splitting open under the force of the mallet, or simply just "uh-oh, where's the condom?". Then I can happily move onto the next story afresh. Has anyone got suitable badly ended sexual experiences they'd like to share?
Are you bad? I mean...bad at sex
- Thread starter Bob Egg
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Rambling Rose
My Aim Is True
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Bob Egg said:
You're scaring me, friend.
sabbathstorm
Satellite Love Baby
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You might find some of those in the humor section. I've been in bad sexual situations before (a 3some with too much alcohol for one). Personally, I don't see me writing a story about that one 
Yeah, I have one.
After the deeds done was done and finished, I went to the bathroom right after my boyfriend had finished.
I was sort of out of it, which is normal, and I go to sit down, and I feel this squishy thing on the floor.....
Yeah, the condom my cat had fished out of the toilet....
Gag, literally.
After the deeds done was done and finished, I went to the bathroom right after my boyfriend had finished.
I was sort of out of it, which is normal, and I go to sit down, and I feel this squishy thing on the floor.....
Yeah, the condom my cat had fished out of the toilet....
Gag, literally.
Fly_On_Wall
Looking for the way
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no one's complained yet 
lickerish
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The only bad experience I remember is the guy started going down on me.. and was HORRIBLE! He was all teeth.. not just nibbling or anything.. out and out biting and chewing! ouchie..
After about 2 minutes.. I made him get up, get dressed and get out.
ouchie.. After about 2 minutes.. I made him get up, get dressed and get out.
Kitte
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I feel like I am in therapy!
I was 18 and still living at home with the folks when the chance came up for my BF and I to have sex in a bed! Which was a novelty! But for once everyone would be out of my house! So there we are young and in love going at it hot and heavy... then we hear the sounds of my brother from the hall "O MY GOD WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
it was tragic....
I was 18 and still living at home with the folks when the chance came up for my BF and I to have sex in a bed! Which was a novelty! But for once everyone would be out of my house! So there we are young and in love going at it hot and heavy... then we hear the sounds of my brother from the hall "O MY GOD WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
it was tragic....
This is almost an excellent ending to a story. Or, perhaps, a beginning:
"O MY GOD WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The words reverberated inside Geoffrey's head, making him lose his concentration, and hence, his erection.
"Sorry little feller," he whispered to the goat. "I think we'll have to continue this somewhere else."
la la la
Quiet_Cool
Learning to Fly
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I hate to interject rationality into a fun-oriented thread, but...
In times like these, a little advice goes a long way. Tell him what makes you tick, and if he's willing to do it, and most of us are looking to do exactly what you want us to do, then a bad situation will only get better...
I hate to be a stiff here, but good lovers aren't born but made. We all suck the first time, and we learn as we go along, and not by being told to leave.
Seems like we all want everything ready-made, like we shouldn't have to work for anything...funny, given we're supposed to be adults. I'm not criticizing anyone in particular, cuz I'm no different, but it is true, nowadays...We're so worried about what we deserve, we don't bother to earn it anymore.
Just my opinion.
lickerish said:The only bad experience I remember is the guy started going down on me.. and was HORRIBLE! He was all teeth.. not just nibbling or anything.. out and out biting and chewing!
After about 2 minutes.. I made him get up, get dressed and get out.
In times like these, a little advice goes a long way. Tell him what makes you tick, and if he's willing to do it, and most of us are looking to do exactly what you want us to do, then a bad situation will only get better...
I hate to be a stiff here, but good lovers aren't born but made. We all suck the first time, and we learn as we go along, and not by being told to leave.
Seems like we all want everything ready-made, like we shouldn't have to work for anything...funny, given we're supposed to be adults. I'm not criticizing anyone in particular, cuz I'm no different, but it is true, nowadays...We're so worried about what we deserve, we don't bother to earn it anymore.
Just my opinion.
BamaBelle
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Bad Sex
I, for the consensus, do not like to bad mouth my lovers, because there has been a time (or two) where I have been the bad lover.
People's Exhibit One:
I was out on a date with a man that just CRANKED MY TRACTOR! He had absolutely swept me off my feet. At the end of the event we were attending, we returned to his home for some late night fun. Things proceeded to hot and heavy, when I called out a name at the moment of climax. Only thing was...it was not HIS name I called out.
--Belle
I, for the consensus, do not like to bad mouth my lovers, because there has been a time (or two) where I have been the bad lover.
People's Exhibit One:
I was out on a date with a man that just CRANKED MY TRACTOR! He had absolutely swept me off my feet. At the end of the event we were attending, we returned to his home for some late night fun. Things proceeded to hot and heavy, when I called out a name at the moment of climax. Only thing was...it was not HIS name I called out.
--Belle
fgarvb1
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wrong name? i have had that happen. People getting married and divorced so many times now days and if you put on them just right...why they might say anything.
i tell them not to worry about it, as long as they know who did it it to them when they come back to earth i don't care
i tell them not to worry about it, as long as they know who did it it to them when they come back to earth i don't care
sabbathstorm
Satellite Love Baby
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Re: Re: Are you bad? I mean...bad at sex
That's a whole new thread
Zamdrist said:
Bark of a happy dog? Huh? What am I missing here?
That's a whole new thread
aussie-Couple
Really Experienced
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Oh no ... I am damn good, just ask me ... LOL. Seriously, this is a great thread ... funny happenings.
Hamletmaschine
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Re: Bad Sex
Just so long as it wasn't your dog's name that you called out. Now THAT would be scary.
BamaBelle said:. . . Only thing was...it was not HIS name I called out.
--Belle
Just so long as it wasn't your dog's name that you called out. Now THAT would be scary.
Hamletmaschine
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Re: Re: Re: Bad Sex
I'm thinking that maybe you should come and tuck me in now, Fifi.
lavender said:
I'm thinking that maybe you should come and tuck me in now, Fifi.
Hamletmaschine
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Fill 'er up!
Following up to a previous comment, a mate of mine was receiving a blowjob from some fresh female acquisition when SHE fell asleep. I think he still has most of his penis intact.
One of the more exhilarating things which happened to me was just before sex: I was kneeling, jockeying for position in front of this beautiful begging pussy when I managed to slip on the mattress and knee my lover full force in the balls. Ok, not balls, but from her expression it was equally sore.
Thankfully 15 mins later she removed her head from her hands and declared "Ok, you can fuck me now". I let her wait till I finished my beer.
Love,
B. Egg
One of the more exhilarating things which happened to me was just before sex: I was kneeling, jockeying for position in front of this beautiful begging pussy when I managed to slip on the mattress and knee my lover full force in the balls. Ok, not balls, but from her expression it was equally sore.
Thankfully 15 mins later she removed her head from her hands and declared "Ok, you can fuck me now". I let her wait till I finished my beer.
Love,
B. Egg
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