are you a slave, submissive or sensualist

[Richard49]

1) how do you define each of these
2) which do you see yourself if you are not a dominate

 

[kitty4ever]

I am a submissive, not a slave, and I'm very clear about that. That's why I am uncomfortable with the term 'Master', for in my mind, that would classify me as a slave. Yes, just my hangup, but I recognize it.

 

[Richard49]

I am a submissive, not a slave, and I'm very clear about that. That's why I am uncomfortable with the term 'Master', for in my mind, that would classify me as a slave. Yes, just my hangup, but I recognize it.

Please share your defination of these words/tertms/titles

 

[kitty4ever]

To me (again, only MY opinion, a slave has entered more of a TPE arrangement where it goes beyond the bedroom. His/Her Master/Mistress is able to choose wardrobe, job, things inside and outside the relationship.

A submissive is more within the confines of the relationship, but my Dom would not be able to intrude in my job and/or career. He would not have a say in the fact that I have to stay late to finish an assignment. He could not demand me to do things which would jeopardize my job or career. That would be beyond his area of control.

Make sense?

 

[Technodivinitas]

1) how do you define each of these
2) which do you see yourself if you are not a dominate

I am definately a sensualist...
I am also a slave, and not a submissive, at least, in general, as I define myself, individually, and apart from my Master.

A submissive enjoys submitting. (All that I've communicated with have different levels- some only enjoy sub'ing to very strong Dominants, some just dig the act of submitting and will do so with anyone who appeals to them, and (sadly) some force their submission on pretty much everyone they interact with.) I am not a submissive, because I do not choose to actively submit, and only submit to my Master because he brought me into a submissive state through training.

A slave is "owned", whether full-time or part time, (is that like being rented? * *) and many are submissive, but occasionally, as in my case, they are not. I generally group "bottoms" who only get into the forced/rape/violent scenario as non-submissives, whether they are slaves or not.

I'm not sensitive about the labels though. I even refer to myself as a sub, in my posts sometimes, when it fits the phrasing of a sentence better.

Sensualist- Pretty much everyone into a D/s, BDsM, or Leather lifestyle, by my definition, would have to be one of these, though I imagine there are plenty of sensualists outside of the classicly definable "kink" lifestyles... They (we) have fetishes which deeply involve more than one sense, or which exclude all but one or two senses. They (we) are sometimes "thrill junkies", actively turned on by almost any sensation play, and seeking out new ones all the time.

 

[shy slave]

1) how do you define each of these
2) which do you see yourself if you are not a dominate

Hi Richard

Its an interesting question....

I define myself as a slave (albeit a fiesty one lol).

The word submissive is often shortened to 'sub.' When this happens it puts me in mind of a range of other words starting with 'sub' for example substitute.

The idea of being the substitute until a more worthy person turns up....nope I struggle with that.
It also brings to mind submarine, now I LOVE going down...but not always

I am not in a 24/7 relationship as we currently live apart, and if we are ever lucky enough to live together there would remain 'out-of-bound' areas of my submission to Him. Namely my sons and how they live their lives with me as a their parent and my job.

In definition at the absolute limit I am not a slave in the purest sense of the word.

I adore being own, used, humilated, and given pain. Equally I enjoy the care He takes of me and the management of other aspects of my live that He controls. I have never had a wish to 'play' with one person or several other people at parties; but have always searched for that deeper emotional commitment.

It is not each for someone to call me a dirty, filthy whore without those additional attachments. If it were enough I could ring sex lines or read a porn book instead of having a relationship.

I am not sure I am a sensualist.

Technos' description certainly fits me, (we) have fetishes which deeply involve more than one sense, or which exclude all but one or two senses. They (we) are sometimes "thrill junkies", actively turned on by almost any sensation play, and seeking out new ones all the time.

However to me sensations refer equally to continual soft touches & gentle stroking, which drives me crazy if it repetative and too soft.
I feel like slapping someone with they start that stuff (and yet I say I am a slave lol).

So to sum-up I consider myself a slave, but not necessarily a sensationalist unless you are using Techno's definition.

Sorry its a long post, but I tend to ramble

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

Slave- Someone who can not.. operate.. by themselves.. they must be part of a whole.. now everyones fine cut answers are true but for me it boils down to. If that person can operate their own life without any help.

Submissive-Someone who may be a slave or may not.. A submissive is someone who enjoys being "lorded" over and is willing to put their own desires/wants on hold for another person.. The main difference between them and a slave is that the submissive make a conciouse connection to what they are doing. A submissive lets another person rule their life where a slave is someone who may understand that they are a slave but they make no conciouse efforts to obey or disobey, they just do.

Sensualist- Someone who fits no catergory and every catergory. They find pleasure in whatever they are doing at a particular time.. or no pleasure in it.. A person who's "kinks" or particular likes may change every day with their mood/ time/situation/ other outside factors. Sensualists are people who meerly wish pleasure for themselves and/or others. Unlike a submissive or slave a sensualist is more of a "self gratification" person.. but can be a Very Giveing person too.

What am I by my own deffinitions? A sensualist. I roam the kink world persae at different phases of my own.. "Growth" Some days I'm sure that I am a submissive and it feels that is the right space for me to fill.. other days I can be nothing other then a dominant. The single thing that never changes is my own pleasure in things and usually my partners. We have disagreements on things in the bedroom particularly some nights.. But thats a part of the whole... picture with me. Things constantly change, where very few things stay the same.

 

[graceanne]

A submissive

Ok, i'm new to all this, so feel free to correct me if I totally put my foot in my mouth.
It seems to me that a slave is someone who's given all control to their dom/domme/master/mistress. They've given control of everything from clothing to their actions to their jobs. They do this even if they don't like what their dom/me wants them to do.
A submissive, is someone who enjoys submitting, but maintains some control. I personally consider myself to be a submissive. I get great joy out of doing what my dom/husband tells me to do. But I don't ask permission, and I don't wait for his commands. So unless he says something, or has said something I do as I want. And quite frankly, he would be very uncomfortable in the slave/master relationship except in sex play. And it all comes down to his comfort, doesn't it?
As for a sensualist, I would assume that a sensualist is someone who is very sensual. And that doesn't necessarily mean someone in the BDSM lifestyle. There are many ways to treat your senses, and not all are sexual, although they can be made to be. When I put on my rayon dress, it's a very sensual thing for me. The feel of the material on my skin, the look of the way it hangs on me, even the smell of the rose oil I put in the rinse cycle so that my clothes will smell nice. But it's not sexual (unless my husband's watching ).
Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Grace

 

[esclave_PP]

Originally posted by Richard49
1) how do you define each of these
2) which do you see yourself if you are not a dominate

I am slave, don't hear me roar.

I define a slave as a step beyond a submissive. Submissive's technicallly have more "rights" than slaves such as safe words and the like.

My goal is to please Master in any way He commands me. That's the way we like it.

Master is experienced enough not to put me in harm's way. Therefore trust is paramount.

Not really sure how to define sensualist. I think all of us here are pretty sensual people -- craving beyond the norm.

 

[graceanne]

So a slave is a sub with oomph! Actually, I think that the trust that a slave has for her master/mistress is pretty cool. I have abuse issues, I trust few people. The fact is that I trust my dom/husband more than anyone else I know, which is why I was able to enter this relationship with him.
Grace

 

[Richard49]

bump
hoping some others weather you be newbee or old timer
will contribute to this

 

[redelicious]

Hi Richard.

I'll go with the generally accepted definitions of sub and slave.

Sensualist - I've never heard that word used as a separate category in a BDSM context. It's not quite the same as bottom/masochist is it? To my way of thinking a sensualist is someone who needs or really enjoys tactile stimulation, which might or might not include pain. Anyone can be a sensualist be they sub, Dom, or 'nilla. Given that, yeah I'll be a sensualist.

Just curious, how do you define it?

 

[Richard49]

Hi Richard.

I'll go with the generally accepted definitions of sub and slave.

and the standard defintion of these words/titles/roles are?

 

[Richard49]

Sensualist - I've never heard that word used as a separate category in a BDSM context. It's not quite the same as bottom/masochist is it? To my way of thinking a sensualist is someone who needs or really enjoys tactile stimulation, which might or might not include pain. Anyone can be a sensualist be they sub, Dom, or 'nilla. Given that, yeah I'll be a sensualist.

I am going to spoil the well here a little

What brought this to my mind
was the # of "submissives" I have meet online
that INHO were really just "pain sensualists"

sssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo
being an animal that questions how I see things always
I have posted this thread to get some feedback from others

BTW
Like you AV

 

[redelicious]

and the standard defintion of these words/titles/roles are?

Slave - one who has no rights or has chosen to give them up. Serves Master without question.

Submissive - one who willingly serves another because of a deep-seeded need to do so. Might or might not serve sexually. Has some input and power to negotiate, which may vary from relationship to relationship. May or may not have limits. May or may not be masochistic. Etc.

I'm not a slave. I identify myself as submissive but I am not living any part of the lifestyle currently.

 

[redelicious]

I am going to spoil the well here a little

What brought this to my mind
was the # of "submissives" I have meet online
that INHO were really just "pain sensualists"

sssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo
being an animal that questions how I see things always
I have posted this thread to get some feedback from others

BTW
Like you AV

Hmm, maybe I am a sex sensualist. No, make that sex sensualist wannabe.

Thank you Richard. I think it's a good thread.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

hmmm, I have never heard the term pain sensualist before reading this thread. But now that I have I think it may describe me best. Could "pain slut" also fit this term?

I have very little real life experience to lean on, but IMHO, for me at least, it would totally depend on the Dom. I think I have many submissive tendancies, but if my Dom doesn't bring them out very well then maybe he's only using me as a sensualist and not as a submissive?

I had a 'cyber' Dom once who made me feel like I wanted to be a slave. But once I got into a real life experience (with a different Dom) my feelings/ideas changed to thinking I was really a submissive with a strong desire for pain.

Oh hell - I have no idea - need to learn much more before I'll be able to tell......

 

[Richard49]

Slave - one who has no rights or has chosen to give them up. Serves Master without question.

Submissive - one who willingly serves another because of a deep-seeded need to do so. Might or might not serve sexually. Has some input and power to negotiate, which may vary from relationship to relationship. May or may not have limits. May or may not be masochistic. Etc.

I'm not a slave. I identify myself as submissive but I am not living any part of the lifestyle currently.

so it has nothing to do with slave or submissive
feeling pleasure from serving?

 

[redelicious]

so it has nothing to do with slave or submissive
feeling pleasure from serving?

Well, no I didn't say that. I think subs DO get pleasure from serving another (at least I do). But I also think there are some subs who feel the need to serve regardless of anything (pleasure) they may get in return - which seems like a good attribute for a slave to have.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I've avoided this thread because the only thing I know for sure is that I'm not a slave.

And I know I'm silly and stupid on far too many occassions. ;-)

 

[redelicious]

I've avoided this thread because the only thing I know for sure is that I'm not a slave.

And I know I'm silly and stupid on far too many occassions. ;-)

If being silly and stupid prevent someone from being submissive, well I guess that leaves me out.

 

[Richard49]

hmmm, I have never heard the term pain sensualist before reading this thread. But now that I have I think it may describe me best. Could "pain slut" also fit this term?

could be

 

[A Desert Rose]

If being silly and stupid prevent someone from being submissive, well I guess that leaves me out.

LOL... you so funny!

Okay, on topic now...

I don't know how you can seperate being a submissive and being a sensualist. I think that a submissive HAS to also be a sensualist in order to server her Master to the best of her ability.

I didn't read before red's posts, so probably someone else said this already.

 

[Richard49]

I've avoided this thread because the only thing I know for sure is that I'm not a slave.

And I know I'm silly and stupid on far too many occassions. ;-)

if you know you are NOT one
what is the defintion of what you are NOT

and hey
silly and stupid
go with being a garden vairitey human

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm a sensual submissive Am i a slave? No because i'm not owned and yes because my heart longs to be.
Did i confuse everyone now?