Are we normal?

[TheEarl]

Just a random thought that I thought I'd share with you all.

I was wondering whether we're a particularly normal group of people. I mean we all appear to be fairly liberal and obviously have an open attitude about pornography and I tended to assume that most people have a similar live and let live attitude to erotica. I mean, it rarely comes up in conversation IRL, so this is my major discussion area for it.

However, when I went on holiday recently with a group of people who I'll never see again, I decided to let them know that I was an erotica writer. Their reaction ranged from amusement to mild shock, which was to be expected.

One of the group was a Private Investigator though and he asked what a nice young man like me was doing being involved in something like pornography. He said that in a lot of cases he was involved in, pron was a common denominator and he was convinced that a lot of domestic crimes were attributable to porn.

I'm firmly against the Pavlov's dogs argument and retorted that a lot of criminals were into porn because of a lack of other sexual activity and it's presence as a common denominator was unrelated and definitely not a cause. He was unconvinced and remained firmly against it.

The question here is not about Pavlov's dogs and the effect of porn on criminals. If you want to discuss that, there is a 'New Thread' button at the top left. I want to know whether we are a normal group of people. Are we a fair swathe of the world's population or does our common interest mean that we are all biased?

Long post, short question. Ho hum.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'd say we're the ONLY normal people... we don't go around using drugs (except for doc) or shoot people (except for BS), or get off on pooping in the closet (except for MG)...

We vent our kinks by writing smut.

That's the the HEALTHY approach.

Yay us!

 

[pop_54]

Agree Svenska

Fully agree Svenska, nothing unhealthy about us lot, varied tastes but common interests, we like to be open about our erotic and social preferences.

Most of our neighbours are a liberal lot, no real prudes, but not many would openly admit to their fantasies in public, although I know for a fact a lot wish they had the guts to.
This doesn't make me odd, it just means I'm not afraid to speak out, probably makes me a bit more stable than them actually.

I know you don't want a full blown debate Earl, but I agree with you on the porn versus crime thing, not proven in my eyes.
Take away all porno and will all the paedo's and rapists stop doing it, I don't think so do you.

pops..........

 

[oggbashan]

I don't know about the rest of you, I'm just eccentric.

"Eccentric" appears to be the new term of abuse for those who are not into New Labour's spin for everything in the UK. (The love of a new appearance instead of a changed reality for those outside the UK) If that's so, I'm proud to be eccentric.

I'm still not eccentric enough to participate in Morris Dancing. That goes beyond eccentric into weird.

Og

 

[DVS]

Well, I can't say we are normal, but we have all heard the phrase "what is normal", right?

I do think we have a pretty fair cross section of what the world has in it. We have liberals, we have conservatives, we have subs and we have doms.

We have gays and straights and everything inbetween. Talk about a cross section! I think this is rivaled only by the Catholic church!
~DISCLAIMER~(that was only a joke!)~DISCLAIMER~

I also agree that porn and crime aren't connected. If it were, wouldn't this forum be full of criminals? I also don't think pot is a stepping stone to other drugs. But, when you talk to police and other law enforcement types, they just see these from the outside, if you know what I mean.

And, they are told to speak this way, as a rule. For some of them, a beer and a more relaxed atmosphere might get you a different answer.

I am also a P.I., and also in security. But, a lot of investigators are ex-police, so then you are in essence talking to a policeman. I talk to a lot of police. Some are open minded, but most are likely to check the box by "porn connected crime" on their police report, when they see a Playboy magazine in the bathroom.

These are both considered recreational acts, after all. I KNOW of both bankers and lawyers who recreate in both ways. Does this mean these fields are porn/crime related? NO COMMENT!!
Sorry, I know you didn't want to diverge into this area.

So, what was that question, again? Oh, yes...
Are we normal? I think we are. But, the stigma connected because of crime and of drugs, people tend to keep their sexual preference private.

Even when talking to strangers, people will play the "we are normal and you aren't" act. It's just another of those human preservation traits.

 

[Guest]

Dear Earl,

I've never felt or acted "normal" as normally defined. I like odd, queer, peculiar, exotic, idiosyncratic, offbeat, anomalous, offbeat, downright kooky persons most. I have no normal friends.

I get your question, dear. I'll just say this, you're as normal as I am.

Cutting as wide a swath as possible,

Pear


p.s. there are different definitions for swath and swathe; look them up, don't start a new thread.

 

[gauchecritic]

Right. From the very top of my head.

Percentages of Western population.

Everyone over 18 (yeah right) 70%

Basically computer literate 30%

Active amateur writers 25%

Easy access to the Net. 55%

Openly accessible to porn 20%

2 out 5 people. No were not normal. Demographically about right.

Gauche

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

No.

So long as you're liberal and articulate you'll never be normal.

I've never liked that word anyway. The "normal" intelligence range (as measured by Stanford-Binet) is a staunch 90, well below that of anyone I've met here.

(Since I realize that bird-dogging the minuitiae of my statements has become almost a charming folk tradition for certain individuals, allow me to add the disclaimer that, yes, I know there are "multiple intelligences" and that SB is not the definitive test of absolute intelligence *laugH*).

However, one does tend to forget, after considerable spending time in a "decadent salon", how awfully buttoned-down people at large tend to be.

This isn't all bad though- honestly, I tend to say the same outrageous things with the same smile- I just feel far less recalcitrant knowing there are other "para-normal" individuals out there.

(I'm deliberately misusing the word paranormal.)

I've got to watch my back

 

[gauchecritic]

I've got to watch my back

And well worth watching too. At last a girly who knows what tattoos are supposed to be about.

Gauche

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Not me.

I agree with perdita and Mlle here. I've never fitted the normal patterns of social behaviour, and was always been more than happy with it. Normal is just so boring.

Let me quote you J.G. Ballard, one of the greatest literary geniuses of our time, in his 1995 edition of the highly acclaimed pornographic novel Crash:

"In a sense, pornography is the most political form of fiction, dealing with how we use and exploit each other, in the most urgent and ruthless way."

It's the wave of the future, baby. Nothing gets a message across like raw sexuality, if we do it right. We're ahead of our time.

 

[TheEarl]

I'm not really interested in being normal myself. What's the point of being normal when you can be better? I was just curious as to whether our opinions lay in the majority or not.

The Earl

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

They're "about" my arse, *laugh*

Well, Marcus Antonius- maybe you can watch my arse for the Ides of March...

 

[Guest]

Well, Marcus Antonius- maybe you can watch my arse for the Ides of March...

It's on my PDA calendar, Shovel.

your bride, Trova

 

[Just-Legal]

Re: Agree Svenska

I know you don't want a full blown debate Earl, but I agree with you on the porn versus crime thing, not proven in my eyes.
Take away all porno and will all the paedo's and rapists stop doing it, I don't think so do you.

He-Who-Is-Rotting-In-Prison despised porn movies.

Am I normal? Not really. Don't want to be either

*hides bong from Svenska*

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Hey, Cleo! We're twins *laugh*

Since you have your calendar, when is National Hypospadias Awareness Day, anyhow..?

Blue

 

[deliciously_naughty]

fuck normality...normality is a myth used by others to try and force us to conform to their abnormality.

As to porn...show me a person who claims to have never seen porn and I'll show you a liar. (or an amish person?)

 

[Guest]

"In a sense, pornography is the most political form of fiction, dealing with how we use and exploit each other, in the most urgent and ruthless way."

It's the wave of the future, baby. Nothing gets a message across like raw sexuality, if we do it right. We're ahead of our time.

Lauren, I'd marry you too on a dime. I simply haven't had time to do Ballard but I know him through my brother (a great reader and writer). That's a profound quote, plus your statement.

For myself, writing erotica, and getting to know a few people on this board, has enlivened thinking that is important and always with me.

kisses, Perdita

edit: just for typo.

 

[Guest]

Since you have your calendar, when is National Hypospadias Awareness Day, anyhow..?

I'll have one of my eunachs look it up and get back to you.

Cleo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Lauren, I'd marry you too on a dime.

Have three-way lesbian marriages been legalised yet, or will we have to maintain a sordid affair in secrecy?

 

[Guest]

Babe, revisit this thread; who's talking legal?

Purrrrrr

 

[destinie21]

Nomalcy really depends on the social milieu in which one operates, and often changes in order to conform to the needs of the culture and time in which it is found. The results are not natural, but man-made, not objective but highly subjective and relative, not constant but changing to fit the current needs of a society.

I still can't say if I'm normal though

 

[ffreak]

destinie21, your comment reminds me that the most normal and sane people on our planet are probably the gypsies.

If we try to be 'normal' all we're doing is conforming to the definitions of people who want us to go along with the rest of the herd.

I'm not here to be a part of normal. I'm here exorcizing my own demons by exercizing my rights to free and uninhibited speech.

Even in this environment there are rules of acceptable behavior. I don't see anyone advocating the abuse of children. We do need to make good enough arguments that are not mere mimicries of what the pedophiles use to describe their behavior.

Perhaps the criminals go to porn to try to convince themselves that the fantasies they read about are real.

Authors in other genre's have to deal with their stories being used as excuses for crimes also. See Stephen King and his reaction to Columbine. If we stifle our lust for writing because someone might use it as an excuse for a crime, there would be no great literature.

Name me a writer of something great or profound who was considered normal by the people of their time.

(CandiKane I hope it was okay to use your phrase - lust for writing).

 

[Guest]

Definitely outside of 2 sigma

Earl-

I would have to agree with the majority of posters and say that our discussions and writings are outside of the norm here. I describe our discussions and writings rather than us because we only see small portions of each other here.

I will go on the record as not being into visual porn. When I have looked at it I have become aroused sometimes, but I have too many conflicted emotions regarding it to have it be a main stimulus for me.

I am rather conservative regarding porn and erotica. While many object to or see the 18+ rule as artificial and a joke, I am really happy that it is here. When it comes to the premature sexualization of children I tend to error way on the side of being too restrictive rather than too open. *Obviously, a topic for another thread.*

My point in the above paragraphs is to show that there is a wide swath here. I probably push the boundary to the right, while others push it to the left. There is much about which I fantasize and write in which I wouldn't consider participating.

b

 

[Guest]

I agree with what most others have said. We are normal in the respect that we have a good cross-section of society here.
Where we are abnormal is the fact that, as a collective, not much around here is seen as taboo. We are not frightened to express our inner-most sexual desires. A lot of that has to do with the virtual anonymity that we cloak ourselves in.

There is no way that I'd walk up to a guy in the street and say: "You could never afford me."

We are healthy, normal human beings. At least we don't keep our feelings and urges pent up; that's when people get scary.

Lou

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

I have to say, I have NEVER been normal. Throughout most of my life I've felt like I don't really fit in anywhere; throughout school and college most of the few friends I had weren't interested in hearing about these 'ideas for crazy sci-fi stories' etc. Even now, when I tell some people (particularly in my age-group - 18-25) that I write fiction, they turn the other way and talk to someone else. That's for geeks, ain't it?

But then, until I was 18 I was convinced that nobody ever took me seriously because I look a few years younger than I am. I still think that's partially true.

Over the last few years I've changed a lot, but I'm still not normal. I will never be a conformist, except when it suits me. But I don't make a point of being non-conformist any more. Hell I just do what the fuck I like and let everyone else do the conforming and complaining.

Some of my friends (female) take an interest in my stories and my creativity. My male friends aren't that interested, but they enjoy listening to my music more than my female friends do (perhaps because I don't write pop songs..?)

Recently (the last 6 months) I've learnt how to say what I'm thinking in front of my close friends. The reactions can sometimes be quite alarming, but I've grown out of wondering what people tihnk about me - they know I've always been the quiet, fucked up one - but actually hearing what's going on in the twisted, repressed mind I have must be quite shocking for them.

This is one of the few places I can REALLY say what I feel and to hell with the consequences. I like to question sexuality and its control over us as individuals; I can't do that with my female friends or with the general public, so I do it here in my stories.

I could waffle for hours about normality, trans-normality, sub-normality and abnormality but I would end up in one of those awkward loops of explanation and completely forget what I was talking about.

ax