Are there any Japanese speakers amongst us?

[NaughteeDragon]

I am bastardizing a few Japanese words and titles into a story, and I want to make sure I am using them correctly. Is there anyone who would be willing to take a look and make sure I'm not making myself look like an idiot.

“Mistress Saysan, I have come for ongi.” Saysan had to listen carefully. Ongi was a debt, but onkei was a boon, and the way Noriko-sama had pronounced the word, it could have gone either way. She bowed her head in acceptance of the statement. “My time of mourning comes to an end. Shujin Takashi fulfilled all my needs in his lifetime, and I am bereft in his absence. I come to you hoping that you will help me remember what it was like to be in stillness and under his power.”

There was no world in which Saysan would deny this woman anything asked in the name of her sensei. As Sensei Takashi had taught her shibari and stillness, Noriko-san had taught how to love a woman. “It would be my honor, Noriko-sama.”

and also

“Shujin Saysan,” Noriko-san chided her. “I have come to you as jujun’na. I am in your power. You are no longer deshi. Show me your strength so that I may rest in your shadow.” Mistress Saysan took a moment to center herself and remember the lessons that sensei Takashi had taught her. While Norika-sama had been Saysan’s Mistress, Noriko-san came as a supplicant.

I am using Shujin (master) as a replacement for Master or Mistress. Google says that Jujun'na means submissive (noun).