April Fools...

[Samandiriel]

is a great day.
Did anyone other than SubJoe pull any pranks today?

I've already pinned peoples sleeves to their coats so when they put them on...LOL.

Then I called and had 40 pizza's delivered to the courtroom where the M. Jackson trial is going on.

if I had more time I was going to repaint the White house Neon Orange.

Anyone else do anything whacky today??

Sam.......I'm really Martha Stewart.

 

[Kassiana]

I wrote this...

Someone on another site asked me to speculate about what might happen if Eris got into a fight with 'God.' This is what came out. It was a total coincidence in regards to timing. Honest.

Of course, the Gods can never be wholly understood in human terms, so this discourse is merely a translation. It is also a work of fiction and is not meant to resemble reality much in any way. Please do not use it without crediting its author.

The Gods were resting in the metaphysical realm. Tehuti and Anpu were playing chess in the corner. Aphrodite was combing out her hair and shining with beauty in the hopes of attracting even more male attention, but Anpu was focussed on the game. The God known as "God" was relaxing with a mug of tea and answering prayer requests.

An object slowly rolled across the floor. It passed Tehuti and Anpu, and Tehuti made a small note on the scroll at his side. It passed Aphrodite and her admirers, who paid it no mind. It thumped into "God's" leg, and "God" absentmindedly picked it up, then dropped it when he saw "kallisti" was printed on it.

"You don't take very good care of your things, 'God.'" A low feminine purr inserted itself into the room, distracting Aphrodite's followers, causing Aphrodite herself to snarl for a moment before adopting a prettier angry face, and making "God" himself take a deep breath in reaction.

"Lady of Chaos," he said neutrally, as she walked into their space. She did not shine, but drew darkness about herself and made it shift and spin attractively.

"I see you took up my challenge." She walked directly to him, stalking him. He put down his tea with a sigh.

"Challenge?"

She laughed, and her laughter was the sound of waves breaking on the shore. "You know, those silly humans Kang and Kass. Hm." She pondered briefly, then shook her head. "No, they have enough of me in their lives separately."

"You're taking them seriously, then."

"'God,' sweetie. Of course not." She stopped an inch before him and breathed her next sentence into his left ear. "I'm taking them facetiously."

He stepped back and bowed to her. "And why should I?"

She grinned mischievously. The other Gods shifted uneasily, and several of them remembered urgent appointments elsewhere. "Because it could be fun."

He shrugged. "I have no desire for such 'fun.'"

"Your followers have said differently. Wars, deaths, blood..." She kept her mischievous grin as she spoke.
"You know well that my followers are frequently wrong about what I do and what I want." His eyes moved longingly toward his tea.

"So you won't fight me?" She drew his attention back to herself, shifting her aspect to resemble an old acquaintance of his.

He was mesmerized briefly, then shook his head. "Perhaps for a short time."

She relaxed and reached for his hand, sending a brief signal to one of her friends as she did so. They moved through time and space, to a place that would not be harmed by their conflict, and a moment after they did, the very silly God known as Lord Spumoni to a few very silly Pagans took "God's" seat and began his own work. Aphrodite relaxed and preened as her remaining admirers turned their attention back to her. Tehuti made another note as Anpu scowled at him. "Make your move."

*************************************************************************
The stars sang softly as "God" and Eris circled each other, considering their first attacks. He feinted and used Words for his first attack, saying "I would rather fight another, prettier Goddess than you."

She parried and danced, whispering back, "Since Ishtar rejected you, you must accept who you can get."

He was stung by her attack, but slipped in another jab at her self-esteem. "That is not the entire truth, but then the truth does not matter to one such as you, does it?"

She dodged, barely, but seemed more amused than offended. "But the truth matters to one such as you, does it not? So you cannot lie and say that she did NOT reject you."

Pricked, the God intensified his Voice and chose sharper Words. "The world has rejected you and embraced me, so the truth is that I am far better than you in their eyes."

She wove and dodged, taking the blow and returning another. "They accept what they believe about you, not what you truly are, for otherwise they would be far less unkind. They accept me as I am, as Chaos, as Disorder, as Fate, so is not the truth that I am more accepted than you?"

He considered that for an infinite second, rolling it over and over in his mind. "You may have a point," he admitted, lowering his word/sword. She watched him and locked her own words inside when she saw that he had, for the present, stopped fighting.

Casually, she asked, "Have you ever considered taking another consort?"

He peered at her suspiciously. "Not often, no."

"Why?" She enhanced her aspect again and he winced.

"I ... I have no need of one ..."

"Do you not want one at times?" she pressed.

He shook his head and bowed to her. "I shall not speak more of this with you, Lady of Discord. For now, our 'challenge' has been fulfilled and I have other duties."

She nodded and whispered to him as he moved away, "She speaks of you sometimes."

When he returned, his chair was warm and his tea was missing. He glared around the room. Tehuti was now writing furiously and Anpu was gone, Cerridwen taking his place and watching Amaterasu as she approached Gnowee, the Sun God. He assessed his followers and growled under his breath. "Eris!"

He felt her laughter sparkle through the universe as he tensed. "What was the point of making some of my followers believe that eating fish on Friday was a good thing to do?"

As her laughter multiplied, for the other Gods heard his plaint and appreciated the joke, her voice sang one word. "Point?"

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'd answer but someone just left a burning paper bag on my front porch and I've got to go stamp it out...

 

[Liar]

Does calling in sick count?

 

[NoJo]

I'd answer but someone just left a burning paper bag on my front porch and I've got to go stamp it out...

You're the backbone of April 1.

 

[English Lady]

My husband did on my erotica site..he told everyone the pretend in forum money for this one day would turn into real money and we'd transfer it into their bank accounts *LOL*

but i can never think of any tricks funny enough.


our head of year at high school once sent a note round saying we were having unsceduled vaccinations..got loads of folks in a tizz...when we got to the hall it was an April fool *L*

 

[dr_mabeuse]

You're the backbone of April 1.

Hey Joe, your shoe's untied!

 

[Guest]

Hey Joe, your shoe's untied!

And you dropped your pocket.

 

[Samandiriel]

Hey Joe, your shoe's untied!

So's your sock.

 

[Samandiriel]

Go through a Drive-thru and order in pig latin.

 

[NoJo]

Go through a Drive-thru and order in pig latin.

I prefer to order out.

 

[Samandiriel]

I prefer to order out.

Same rule applies.

I triple dog dare you.

 

[NoJo]

Same rule applies.

I triple dog dare you.

I bet you like coleslaw on the side

 

[Samandiriel]

I bet you like coleslaw on the side

It's an aphrodisiac.

 

[SnoopDog]

No big deal but me and some co-workers pranked my best buddy (also a co-worker) We re-parked his car to some place he couldn't see. When ww left work he couldn't find it. We were right behind him, acting surprised. He then called his parents because he thought THEY had pranked him. His parents thought HE wanted to prank them by saying his car was gone, probably stolen.
His sister drove past his car (which was on the side off the road) and wondered why he didn'T park it at work.


It really worked better than expected.

Snoopy

 

[Svenskaflicka]

At work, we called several potential clients and told them our number 1 rival had gone bankrupt.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey! That bag was filled with dogshit!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

After forty-eight years, The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest is still rated the Number 1, April Fools Joke.

Not bad for a corporation with as stodgy a reputation as the BBC.

 

[Guest]

Go through a Drive-thru and order in pig latin.

erm...
i did this in my formative years..
cept i said...
"cheeseburger, cheeseburger. coke, coke, no pepsi" my best john belushi...




ah well... the cops were pretty nice

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Pity it’s too late, but imagine the parent’s reaction if you sent their child one of . . .

http://www.illinoisretail.com/humor/bobs/g/logo-larger.jpg

 

[Samandiriel]

erm...
i did this in my formative years..
cept i said...
"cheeseburger, cheeseburger. coke, coke, no pepsi" my best john belushi...




ah well... the cops were pretty nice

Pssst.........you're age is showing.

 

[Guest]

Pssst.........you're age is showing.

here, lemme bare my chest so you can twist that knife a bit more...

 

[Samandiriel]

here, lemme bare my chest so you can twist that knife a bit more...

You're fun.

 

[impressive]

Dangerous Western tradition ...

#29: PhDs Exempt From China's One-Child Policy
In 1993 the China Youth Daily, an official state newspaper of China, announced on its front page that the government had decided to make Ph.D. holders exempt from the state-imposed one-child limit. The logic behind this decision was that it would eventually reduce the need to invite as many foreign experts into the country to help with the state's modernization effort. Despite a disclaimer beneath the story identifying it as a joke, the report was repeated as fact by Hong Kong's New Evening News and by Agence France-Presse, an international news agency. Apparently what made the hoax seem credible to many was that intellectuals in Singapore are encouraged to marry each other and have children, and China's leaders are known to have great respect for the Singapore system. The Chinese government responded to the hoax by condemning April Fool's Day as a dangerous Western tradition. The Guangming Daily, Beijing's main newspaper for intellectuals, ran an editorial stating that April Fool's jokes "are an extremely bad influence." It went on to declare that, "Put plainly, April Fool's Day is Liar's Day."

 

[Guest]

You're fun.

kinda like pushing the elderly down a ramp in a wheelchair with no brakes



its the cleanup in isle 3 thats the bitch.