Approaching Other Women...

[deliciously_naughty]

Ok...I'm a bi-curious female. I'm 23, very experienced with men. I've had very limited experience with three women (one girl I kissed at a people pile in the SCA, one girl I met at school thru a friend and the last was my best friend) but not sex. I really want to meet a woman (not a butch, but another fem) and try out all these things I've been fantasizing about for awhile.

I'm lucky enough to live in an urban area so finding places where women that I meet are likely to be lesbian or bi isn't the problem. Talking to them is. I'm like a teenager again...shy tonguetwisted, and unsure.

What do I do?
How do I know if they're interested in me?

Men are so much easier (or have become so...I don't recall which). But I've had friends comment taht "she was hitting on you" and I was oblivious. So I set it before all of you....do women flirt with other women in a different way...what am I missing?

 

[shynsexy]

in my opinion

women do flirt differently. Some women who are flirting will give alot od compliments about you. Like what you are wearing, what a great person you are. ect. If you say thank you, and they keep gushing on and on, most likely they are flirting.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Something else you might think about is this. What would you do to show another woman you were attracted to her? Say you knew a certain woman was either bi or lesbian. What would you do to let her know you were interested in her?

Men are easy like you said. Women, on the other hand, are a bit more sophisticated. They tend to use body language to express their desire. It's a bunch of little things that all add up. If you look up several times and catch her staring at you or looking at you or the group you are with... if she looks away really quick... bingo. Or if she locks eyes with you for more than a few seconds... she interested. If she notices you and your eyes meet and she smiles at you or nods, or winks. All signs she is observing you from afar and probably wanting to get to know you better (i.e., she wouldn't mind it if you approached her). Just don't use some lame pick up line. Maybe go up and complement her on something she is wearing or her hairstyle. Or ask her where she got her hair done because you like it. Just something to get the conversation rolling.

If you actually get to the point of chatting with each other, watch for certain signs. If she turns her chair so she is facing you and looking into your eyes. That's a sign. If she touches you alot... not sexually, but stuff like touching your arm, or shoulder... or if she lays her hand on your thigh. Or maybe reaches up and moves a piece of your hair back into place or out of your eye. If she folds her arms across her chest, that's a bad sign. If she's really attentive to your conversation and keeps it going as much as possible that's a very good sign.

These are all signs that a woman is attracted to you. Where you go from there is up to you. But best advice I can give you... just be yourself. Learn to scope the room without being obvious.. and keep your wits about you. that's all I can suggest.

Good luck.

- PBW

 

[alltherage]

If your are in an environment where there are lesbian women you will not have to look real hard for signs of interest. I suggest that if you find someone attractive let them lead the conversation for a while. They will sense your nervousness and hopefully be patient with you. That feeling like a school girl thing you got going on is just so attractive. If you want this it will happen, no doubt.

 

[DDebby]

I agree totally with Alltherage

 

[StarXChyld]

Another suggestion. . .

. . .why not do some research of your own? You say you live in an urban area. I would guess that there must be a bar or two that cater to people w/alternate lifestyles. Why not find one and stop by for a drink? This way you can see firsthand how introductions are made.

P.B. Walker is right now when he suggests that touching is a sure sign of flirtation, especially hair touching. If you were to tuch a stray lock of hair behind some lovely lady's earlobe and she didn't flinch, I'd say that's a sure sign. If she pulls back and looks at you like you've three heads then you're safe in assuming she's not interested but you've saved yourself the agony and embassment of having to hear it in words.

Just my 2¢. . .

 

[deliciously_naughty]

THANKS!

Thanks for the advice...next week I finally get a thursday off (thursday being the best gay night in the area and gay night at my favorite club) and I will be sure to try your suggestions...I'll let you know if anything happens. Wish me luck!