Anyone wanna rate my stories?

[Slider1234]

I've been outa writing for over a year ...maybe 2. I lost all interest in it. I'm hoping that maybe if i get some more positive reviews it'll give me some motivation. I have 3 unfinished ones I'd like to get done.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=434042&page=submissions

Thanks in advance.

-Matt

 

[FallingToFly]

I've been outa writing for over a year ...maybe 2. I lost all interest in it. I'm hoping that maybe if i get some more positive reviews it'll give me some motivation. I have 3 unfinished ones I'd like to get done.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=434042&page=submissions

Thanks in advance.

-Matt

That took... awhile.

Not a great review, because I honestly couldn't read the whole thing- and that may be part of the problem.

Given the option, I would say break the first story into at least 5 parts. Reading on a computer screen is hard. Over 10 Lit pages is a nightmare.
Massive kudos to anyone who can make it all the way through in one setting.

Second- I actually like the conversational tone of the story, but there are quirks I would rather not know about. It's really not important that Matt is in the habit of taking 23 minute craps. In fact, it's kind of gross,and to immediately go from talking about poo to talking about wanking off- which is done far too much on the first page- is difficult.

My suggestion- Cut about half of the story entirely. Keep the fun stuff, edit out useless details, tidy up the language and action, and cut the word count in half. You could have lost half the content of the first two pages without losing one bit of the storyline.

In porn,short and sweet is the way to go- anything over about 3 Lit pages is almost certain to die a painful slow death.

Hope that helps!
FtF

 

[Slider1234]

thanks ftf.

personal preference i guess. anything thats shorter than 2-3 pages i 99% of the time dont read. With something that short, to me at least, people dont paint a picture well and i dont see it detailing the sex enough to actually get me off.

as far as everything else, it was meant to be funny and entertaining as well as a spank piece.

but again. it's everyones preference. and i appreciate you taking the time to skim through it