anyone have any advice??

[mbb373]

hi all i got a quick question.. does anyone know of a good way to get rid of shyness?? i talked to my wife about takeing some pics and she is all good with it untill i get the camera but then turns shy ... ok thanks!!

 

[Minx of Mayhem]

Y'know, I have that same problem and it isn't easy to get past. The roots go deeper than shyness though, or at least it does for me. Have you tried talking with her about why she's so shy? Is she embarassed about her body or afraid that the images might get out?

You can also begin with something a little less permant. Do you have a full length mirror in your home? Have her stand in front of it naked and stand behind her. Praise her beuaty and tell her how much she means for you. We women love that romantic crap. And while your at it, take her hand in yours and show her how to touch herself and become a little more comfortable with herself.

I don't know if this will help, but it's the best thing I can come up with. Good luck!

 

[Lust Engine]

This isn't the kind of thing you get done overnight. There's no quick fixes here. Time & patience is about your best bet...and even then, there are no guarantees.

 

[shele]

Please talk with her first..then how about trying to take pics with no film or batteries (in case of digital) in the camera...let her get used to having you looking at her through a lens..maybe help ease her into it a bit...but if she is uncomfortable with it you should not push her..let her do it at her own pace..and if changes her mind that is her decision..

-shele

 

[Bandit58]

I am shy.....a lifetime of poor body image and living with a moron didn't help

It's still hard for me to get used to being looked at through someone else's eyes. Gil will watch me get undressed and I'll blush I'm shy about masturbating in front of him too......though if he holds me and touches me at the same time it's better. Time and trust is working wonders with me though - I am more at ease now than I was 6 months ago.

We women tend to focus more on the perceived imperfections of our bodies.....in fact I have been told that I look pretty good for 45 and having had two pregnancies. But all I see is the stretch marks and little poochy tummy, and I also think my breasts and butt are a little on the small side. However Gil thinks I am beautiful, and he tells me so every day. I'm starting to feel beautiful now.......I'm walking taller and my head is up, I look people in the eyes.

Minx's suggestion is an excellent one.....I'll have to try that one myself

 

[mbb373]

you are right on the money!!!

Bandit58
i dont know what to say but you seem to be right on the money!! althought aye advice id great i think you have hit it!! ill just go slow and be considerate of her at all times...

 

[mbb373]

tnx for the help!!

BTW thanks minx , lust and shele.... belive me any word of wisedom will help!!! again thanks!!

 

[intrigued]

Myabe start her out with a webcam? The reason for this is that she can snap the shots herself and see them at the same time on her computer screen and she doesn't have to take the shot until she sees something she likes. They have timers, I can't think of one thing about them that is negative except for the fact that you can't fit your entire body (standing up) into a shot becomes you have to stand so far away that the pic gets blurry.

The reason I'm suggesting starting with one is because we're all comfortanle with ourselves when we're alone, so it stands to reason that she'll be at ease with just her and the webcam in the room, not you. She can do everything herself, see the pics instantly in the photo album that pops up, and eventually, you'll have to drag her away from it because it's so much fun.
Once she begins to feel comfortable with her image as it is produced, then maybe you can join her in whatever way you guys come up with.

I hope this helps, it certainly worked for me. I'd been taking my shots with a webcam over a year before I met Trail. Once I starting coming here for weekend visits, he wanted to take pics of me with his digicam and instantly, I froze up and ceased to feel anything like I did when I took my own pics. Sometimes if he got me intoxicated enough, we'd end up with some pretty hot shots, or just tossing the cam and making love, so, well, no, better not go there, lol---just try this and see if it helps her. Good Luck!

 

[Falcon60]

Myabe start her out with a webcam? The reason for this is that she can snap the shots herself and see them at the same time on her computer screen and she doesn't have to take the shot until she sees something she likes. They have timers, I can't think of one thing about them that is negative except for the fact that you can't fit your entire body (standing up) into a shot becomes you have to stand so far away that the pic gets blurry.

The reason I'm suggesting starting with one is because we're all comfortanle with ourselves when we're alone, so it stands to reason that she'll be at ease with just her and the webcam in the room, not you. She can do everything herself, see the pics instantly in the photo album that pops up, and eventually, you'll have to drag her away from it because it's so much fun.
Once she begins to feel comfortable with her image as it is produced, then maybe you can join her in whatever way you guys come up with.

I hope this helps, it certainly worked for me. I'd been taking my shots with a webcam over a year before I met Trail. Once I starting coming here for weekend visits, he wanted to take pics of me with his digicam and instantly, I froze up and ceased to feel anything like I did when I took my own pics. Sometimes if he got me intoxicated enough, we'd end up with some pretty hot shots, or just tossing the cam and making love, so, well, no, better not go there, lol---just try this and see if it helps her. Good Luck!

You did look awfully good in those romantic bathtub shots. Ahhh those were the days.

 

[Xt4cY]

My SO has a problem with shyness and she thinks about her imperfections, she thinks her ass is way too big and her boobs are way too small and she has a small tummy and all those things, but the thing is what i found worked for her and it wasn't even intentional was the fact that i don't even notice other girls when we're out and about, most of the time she points them out for me, and i still end up staring at her...to me she's the most georgeous girl in the world and i'm constantly in awe when i'm around her...and i think she's picking up on that to the point where she actually asked me to take pictures of her and stuff like that...i dunno maybe i'm just rambling and completely off course...but i think it worked for me...just an idea

 

[Xt4cY]

oh yeah another thing have her list all the things that she thinks are bad about her body image...that's how i know what my SO doesn't like about her self, but what i do everything she sais and agrees upon i do a 180 and prove to her that those things are amazing...like her ass being too big...i told her that it's perfect...it's round it stands out and is amazing, her boobs too small...bah...if it fits perfectly in the hand u don't need anything else...basically i went about it that way and try to list all the negative sides of what she's trying to achieve, like she wanted breast implants, i just told her those would be nasty and not natural and even if they look good knowing they are not real would take all the fun out of it...and then come up with examples how big boobs get in the way and not that attractive...no offence for the girls with big breasts, but having the SO feel good about her self and knowing that u see her as the perfection of a womans image will boost her confidence through the roof

 

[intrigued]

You did look awfully good in those romantic bathtub shots. Ahhh those were the days.

Yeah, they were. *sigh*
I still have a few of those pics and played around with them a good bit once I learned to use Irfanview.

And yes, I was quite intoxicated because the whole thing was too damn much work and all the lighting we needed kept me wanting to take a dunk, but then my hair would've been a mess!

 

[ReadyOne]

If she is scared the pictures will get out, then use a digial camera, get another Compact Flash/ Secure Media/ etc card/ stick to hold the pictures you take, and let her have it to carry/ hide/ put in the vault.

My camera has a cable to display the pictures on my TV, so in my case, the pictures would never reach a computer let alone the internet!

Downside of course is that you have to ask her everytime you want to admire.

 

[SweetErika]

Great suggestions from everyone! I was scared like your wife, MBB. Part of it was body image and the other part was hearing the horror stories of the pics getting out. After lots of compliments and reassurance from my hubby, we started with pics in bed, under the covers. We looked at them on the camera, and my husband had me delete them right there. We did the deleting thing a few times, and it got rid of my irrational fears about privacy. We worked up to lingerie pics, and I've chosen to keep most of those. I also felt comfortable taking bra shots in the mirror myself.
Give her time, take baby steps, compliment her all day, don't force it, and help her build up her courage and trust. I'm willing to bet she'll come around, but it won't be the end of the world if she doesn't.

 

[BoredinCA]

Wow that’s a toughie. I have never really been able to talk a woman into not being shy especially when I am photographing her. I have however been able to prove to a woman that she is beautiful and restore self-confidence in that manner. Basically by taking really good digital pictures that are artsy nudes and showing them to the woman and also by showing photos to others on line… when the comments come back and they see how well they are liked then sometimes that eases things a little and they start to come out of their shell. Usually the photography works… after they see that I can make corrections like redo a small nipple flaw that they don’t like, take away any blemishes that sort of thing then they get real curious. Removal of things like surgical scars is a real biggie. Basically I have found that all woman need proof that they are beautiful and even more so if you have been together a long time because it may have been a while since anyone has actually perused her making her feel good about herself. I know that sounds weird but when your married I have found that when woman come on to me I really love it even if I have no intention of acting on it.

 

[sxylegs]

hi all i got a quick question.. does anyone know of a good way to get rid of shyness?? i talked to my wife about takeing some pics and she is all good with it untill i get the camera but then turns shy ... ok thanks!!

Are you sure that she is just shy......I love people seeing my body.....love going to clubs and being an exibitionist...
But my boyfriend has said a few things and now I am very shy with him in front of the camera.......I told him when he did the last pics that I felt that I looked like a beached whale and he basically agreed with me........and decided not to take any more pics......guess who wont be posing for anymore if he changes his mind. You have to make her feel very secure......tell her she looks hot and great and all that stuff and how hot she is making you while she is doing it. If you are quiet it makes the person more shy...

Good luck!!!!

 

[mbb373]

great ideas everyone

true... i know what you mean sxylegs... my wife is very good looking.... and i tell her alot ... she has never done pics before.. she is ever shy with normal pics..

 

[watergirl]

If I meet a guy

who wants to take pics of me, I'll be all about that, if they're done on my digital & I trust him not to go sharing them around.

I asked my last bf to take pics of me, and he bailed out of the room so fast... no wonder I dumped him!

 

[mbb373]

Re: If I meet a guy

who wants to take pics of me, I'll be all about that, if they're done on my digital & I trust him not to go sharing them around.

I asked my last bf to take pics of me, and he bailed out of the room so fast... no wonder I dumped him!

im sorry water girl... from your AV you look wonderfull... although i think i have won the battle... my wife saw that i posted my pics in the am pics area and said that if im comforatable posting she feels better about it... lord knows she is much better looking than me!!

 

[watergirl]

Nice!

I'm glad to hear it. Posting this av, and the one I had up before it, was a big confidence booster. Maybe not in my own body, but at least in my ability to take flattering photos of it!

Have a good time with the wife!

 

[SmilinAngel]

I'm picture shy too ... with or without clothing. It's so bad that I haven't even taken one shot of myself without clothes ... much like your wife. But, my bf is really good about making me feel good about myself everytime he sees me naked - changing clothes, getting into the shower, everytime. This helps me feel more comfortable in my own skin, as cliche as that is. Another thing that might help her is if you take the pictures from the neck down, so no one - except you - will REALLY know that it's her. This is the only way I'd even think of taking pictures. One other way is to let her see all the other people who have posted their pics, so she doesn't feel like she's the only one. I hope that helped, and good luck!

 

[heckle]

Pick up a polaroid camera and a paper shredder. Take a picture and give it to her before it develops. If she does not like it, she can shred it.

 

[H0wl]

Re: Nice!

I'm glad to hear it. Posting this av, and the one I had up before it, was a big confidence booster. Maybe not in my own body, but at least in my ability to take flattering photos of it!

Have a good time with the wife!

*drools*
I love your new AV Just wanted to say that again. Definitely bringing the cam when I come to visit.