Any feedback greatly appreciated

[hailhydra]

Wrote the story about 2 months ago and the ratings for them was fairly mediocre. I didn't really care about feedback after I wrote it since I wasn't interested in writing any more, but now, I have regained my interest in writing. I feel like I didn't get a lot of constructive comments on the story(2 chapters) so I would appreciate any feedback about what I did right and what I can improve on.

https://www.literotica.com/s/price-for-her-first-time-pt-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/price-for-her-first-time-pt-02

Story is placed in nonconsent but it's also a fetish story focused on denial.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I could nitpick the grammar a little, but I think the main reason for the low ratings is simply that you're writing a story where the victim is male.

As far as I can tell, a lot of the NC/Reluc readership are there specifically for stories about women being raped by men. When they encounter a story that goes the other way, they don't just click out and move on, they foam at the mouth and vote it down.