Any Engineers out there (re: fucking machines)?

[wife_trainer]

Hello all,
for a long time I have been interested in creating a fucking machine for my wife. I have searched the web, but mostly of what I find looks crude (rotating wheel connected to a piston, etc.)

I have a strong background in physics and medicine, but alas not in applied engineering.

I believe there is a big market if one could build a "better fucking machine". I have looked at some robotic kits... perhaps hydraulics? But even if it is not "for market", but just for personal use - it wold be great

Please write just for some fun and sharing ideas.


P.S. I have a beautiful wife that we can test any prototype on!

 

[mbb308]

You need a toolie

Unfortunately, my background is in structures. A good Mechanical engineer can probably be of great service to you and yours....

 

[ChefChip]

not a trained engineer persay, but am very good with mechanical stuff. I work in a hardware store so I have acces to lots of tools and equipment to test stuff, Email me if you want to discuss this further.

Chef_chip@netzero.net

ps. I love building stuff so I belive if we can get this working well, we could mass produce them for lots of green.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

As far as machines go, I would check out the Sybian. Not mechanical looking, and apparently a lot of fun. I'll post a movie or two of it in action if you want...

- Mike.

P.S.: www.sybian.com

 

[ArtifexLignorum]

Engineer here

Pneumatics are the way to go. Not hydraulics. Unlike leaky hydraulic cylinders, which are grungy, pneumatic exhaust can smell like lilacs. Now what is it you wish to construct?

 

[ChefChip]

i think that although pnumatics are cleaner thatn hydralincs, they requir large amounts of compressed air or a compressor. but never the less the hard thing about any of they machines is making them smooth operating as well as making them able to respond to certain movements, like responsive jerks of the hips.

 

[ChefChip]

nobody has any ideas? we can't build this without input

 

[Guest]

What you have here is called, in Mechanical Engineering terms, a "multiple degree of freedom" problem.

One degree of freedom, is the crude "in-out" motion you described. Another degree of freedom might be insertion angle. Then there is stroke, stroke variance per cycle, speed variance per cycle, vibration variance per cycle, cycles per second, insertion angle variance.....

Why did you think an engineer would have any good suggestions about sex? Most of us are lucky to get laid once every other year.

 

[Guest]

Nah, keep it simple. No compressors, hoses. Use an electric solenoid or motor. The mechanism on a solenoid would be simple, but control and driver circuits would be needed.

A simple solution would be to gear a small motor down and use an off center pivot point to generate the thrusts. Just add a motor speed controler.

For the ultimate, use a solenoid with computer control. You can control depth and speed. Others can be added to change the angle and position. You can create selectable programs of activity.

You heard it here first. (in case anybody else tries to build and market my idea).


heretic

heretic0@hotmail.com

 

[ChefChip]

even better I think that you should use servos and stuff. that way you can control the speed and depth

 

[wife_trainer]

Different ways to go

I agree = be subtle is a key component of any device. Sibian is crude is it's motion. In most machines, the thrusting follows a sine wave pattern, but no variability to speed, depth, etc. That why pneumatics/hydraulics (liquid/gas) seem like an idea. Being able to program a pattern would be useful..
Robert

 

[ChefChip]

it would be better if you could make it really random and even put in some worta sensor to make it respond to certain things, but that might be way off in the future.

 

[Guest]

It all sounds great - getting me so wet - just wanted to let you know that if you needed anyone to test them out then i'm your girl - i'm definatly up for trying out the prototypes!!!

 

[ChefChip]

if you want to test some stuff, pm me and let me know more about you?

 

[ArtifexLignorum]

Air revisited

My vote still remains with pneumatics. Lilac scented is merely one benefit. The key issue is being able to control the flexibility of the completed device. Gasses have give to them, which steel gears and levers do not.

The compressor involved need be no more than that in a Rubbermaid paint sprayer. It is fairly quiet, has plenty of power. And its electronics would seem quite conducive to a simple robotics control circuit.

That simple circuit need be no more than a series of modulating on off pulses. This would provide one motion, in and out. It could also. perhaps, cause expansion and contraction of a simple (correctly shaped) bladder. Causing it to move in the other axis would be nothing more than an additional unit directing its thrusts side to side. The third degree of motion would be just one more identical device.

Unlike the mechanical, gear and sprocket driven devices, pneumatics provide the designer, greater flexibility. Not to mention being more forgiving of any inadvertant movements which the user might experience.

 

[ChefChip]

I now agree. the bladder is a good idea and it provides more axis of pleasure for the woman

 

[meaddick]

fucking machines

One point no one has mentioned is the sound or noise. Electric motors running steadily are quiet but servos can be very noisy especially if they are winding back and forth. Hydraulics are smooth but I wouldnt wont them dumping oil on my bedroom carpet. Pnuematics can have all the control needed and the compressor can be in another room. Control of any system would not be difficult but the real problem would be cost, it would be easy to let any system get to several thousand (dollars or pounds) which is why you see pictures on the net of very crude home made devices made of scaffold and DIY electric tools. If anybody wants to go with this project I would be glad to help, I'm an automation engineer.

 

[daave]

sublty is what you need guys

Hi great thread and ideas, have you thought there is one ready made its called men.
No, seriously, there is a need for fine as well as gross movements, I think you need to consider control over both by either the recipient or partner to the major movements and the finer ones, probably using a proprietry vibrator and electic for the power source using switches and solenoids.