Anxiety

[naudiz]

This is my first thread, so bear with me.

I'm having a somewhat embarrassing problem that's hard to put into words. I'm hoping some of you good people would give me feedback.

I started reading the boards a few weeks ago. I had been reading the stories for awhile, and decided: okay, I want to write one and submit it. Having no experience in writing erotica, however, I was intimidated by the prospect, so I decided to get to know the folks at this site first to sort of ease the tension. Hence, board reading/posting. I still haven't written anything, but I look forward to reading the boards every day. There are quite a few personalities here. Generally speaking, I like reading what you all have to say.

The problem is: just like in RL, I get anxious whenever I try to contribute to a conversation. I literally start feeling something akin to panic when I hit the 'submit' button. I'm shy, and not in the 'aw, isn't she cute' sort of way. In the 'gut numbing terror, break out in cold sweats' sort of way.

I'd really like to get over this, because it's no way to live. I am on medication for depression, and that helps the biological reaction to anxiety a lot, but it's not entirely eradicated it. The funny thing is, before I got sick (I have a chronic pain illness called fibromyalgia, was diagnosed three years ago) I was very outgoing. I've always been called eccentric, but never had a problem expressing myself. Being ill caused some body issues to arise that were hard to deal with, and I got to where I didn't want to be seen by anyone, so I stopped going out. I'm starting to get over that, and talking to people online has helped. It's easier to deal with having lost my looks when people don't have to look at me.

The feedback I'm asking after is this: what is a good way to break the ice? I feel like I'm sticking my virtual foot in my virtual mouth whenever I post, and I know that I'm just nervous, but I don't know if that's making me come off as a total dork or what.

Just for the record: I am getting help for this problem with social anxiety, and it has helped; otherwise I wouldn't be able to post this like I am now. I'm not seeking a medical opinion on an internet chat - I went to the doctor for that. I'm just looking for a good bunch of cool people to hang out with if you'll have me, quirks and all.

It's just that I've forgotten how to hang out. Talk about embarrassing!

 

[CW]

This is my first thread, so bear with me.

I'm having a somewhat embarrassing problem that's hard to put into words. I'm hoping some of you good people would give me feedback.


The feedback I'm asking after is this: what is a good way to break the ice? I feel like I'm sticking my virtual foot in my virtual mouth whenever I post, and I know that I'm just nervous, but I don't know if that's making me come off as a total dork or what.



It's just that I've forgotten how to hang out. Talk about embarrassing!

Naudiz,,,

You have made one hell've a start,,, just relax,,, no one is going to take your head off,,, and if some clod does,,, just grow a new one,,,

I know exactly where you are coming from though. ( you can contact me via email if you wish ) Mostly the only way to defeat that monster on your back is to jump into the water and stay for awhile. Ya see, the longer that you hang in here, the less that monster is going to weigh on you and the more at ease you'll become.

This won't happen over night,,, but, if you stick with it, make thoughtful replies, be honest, and clarify when you are kidding, or just being a smart ass ( making use of the smilies will help here ) ,,, then soon most will know you for who you are and you'll be accepted and cutting the fool with folks. Or hanging out as you refered to it.

WELCOME,,, RELAX,,, ENJOY,,,

 

[Adoratrice]

Welcome naudiz........don't worry we're all dorks ...ummm I mean we all know how you feel.....just type it and hit that button girl!......(you can always edit) hee hee......relax have fun and jump in ...just keep your boots handy cause it can get pretty deep in here at times.

 

[Ezzy]

Just jump in with both feet...

My best friend from work was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and is still awaiting treatment.

He feels much the same way as far as the body issues goes, and has expressed the sense of being an outcast, due to the fact that other than walking with a stick, he shows no outward sign of the disorder.

He was always concidered out going till his illness arrived, and did lots of active things.

When he was retired from work he got into the web in a big way, using it to pass the time etc. But he would not "talk" to others just sit and lurk, as he feels that his typing would not be fast enough, or accurate enough for people to understand the points he was trying to get across.

I tried to show him that in chat rooms and online, most people will make allowances for spelling and grammer errors, as there is alot of reading between the lines done in chat rooms especially.

Well it took him about 6 months to get any confidence, but now you have to use a pry bar to get him out of the chat rooms he goes in.

His wife who had said there was no way you would ever see her on a computer, has taken to it as well in the last 5 months, and she is the same, LOL.

So all I can say is just go for it, dont worry (Ezzy to say hard to do I know) about it, and just post when you feel the urge.

EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[CW]

Re: Just jump in with both feet...

But he would not "talk" to others just sit and lurk, as he feels that his typing would not be fast enough, or accurate enough for people to understand the points he was trying to get across.


EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

Ezzy made a good point there,,, the first reply that I made to you took me nearly 5 minutes to type out,,, my left hand is virtually useless for typing and my brain gets way to hell ahead of my fingers.( as the result of a stroke ) Take your time,,, use the 'preview reply' function and go for it.

It will get better and easier for you,,,

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

I would love to hang out with you! Just be who you are, relax and have fun. I am on shy side too, but I am trying to get over that. In real life I am not shy, but here I only seem to talk when I feel like I have something worthwhile to say. I should just goof off sometime and say to hell with being serious. Who gives a damn. Not I said the Kat...LOL. Be who you are, relax, and just enjoy. There are alot of really nice people on the board, me included, hehehe, so don't ever be afaid to say hi. Man, perhaps I should take my own advice. Hi Everyone! There, I feel so much better now.

Say, I wish you the best of luck with your writing my friend. I find expressing yourself through the written word to be very relaxing and loads of fun, until the editing part that is. Enjoy, go with the flow and just let it happen.

Hugs KitKat

 

[Juliangel]

Hi and Welcome

I know how you feel, in real lifeI am a very shy person. I seldom talk to people unless I know them very well, which is a problem because it is hard to get to know people when you do not talk to them. I know this is going to sound the weirdest of all but I usually meet my mailman at the street but if there is a substitue driver I wait in the house until they have moved to the next mailbox.

I hate large social situations, I prefer to find a seat and sit in the corner. When I first came him I lurked and no I post all the time. I suffer from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and currently take 60mgs of prozac a day which also takes care of my depression.

In case you are not familiar with OCD, we are the people that check things over and over again. Some have cleaning compulsions, unfortunatly I didn't get that symptom.

My social problem lead to my breath problems. Social situations stress me out, when I am stressed out I have asthma attacks.

As for how you feel when you hit send, that is how I feel most of the time too. It is getting better, I have made several friends here and talk to them on the board, in instant messages and even one on the phone(talk about the pit in your stomach feel).

So again WELCOME and dive right in, the water is great and so are the people.

[Edited by Juliangel on 11-11-2000 at 11:38 PM]

 

[forgetunome]

Naudiz...

First I would like to say:

http://toons.artie.com/alphabet/words/arg-dancing-welcome-whitebg-url.gif

Your first thread you did beautifully! The first step is always the hardest. But...I know how you feel. I too felt awkward and wasn't sure when to jump in and then if I did would I be viewed as silly, stupid, or worse yet stupid...oh yeah I already used that. But, what I am trying to say these are normal feelings and yes I know some experience it worse than others. But, you have your first thread and you did a great job! Pat yourself on the back! And when you feel you have a comment you want to make...go ahead and make it.

The one thing I have learned since being here is that not all of your responses will get a response...don't let it bother you...I just put it down to "it didn't strike anyone else as needing to be responded to" nothing personal. I mean I don't respond to everything but, that doesn't mean I didn't like what I read, I just didn't have anything to add to it. So, I try and turn it around and not get hurt feelings or feel bad if everything I post doesn't get a response!

There are times we all get snippy but, hey it's like a big family you love each other warts and all! Gotta allow each other to bitch once in awhile and we get if off our chest and move on. Don't take it too serious.

Okay...Okay I'll get off my soapbox and stop pounding on my chest! OUCH! My boobies hurt now! Somebody wanna kiss 'em?

In all of this I am saying "JUMP IN WITH ALL YOUR GUSTO!"

can't wait to hear more from you!

 

[Guest]

Naudiz...

Let me start this off with a WELCOME! http://smilecwm.tripod.com/legionxs/wavey.gif I too suffer from depression (though not really the anxiety). I remember back in high school I was deathly afraid of public speaking though. I'm surprised I passed my speech class! lol Anyway, it looks to me like you've already gotten over a HUGE obstacle with your anxiety! Congratulations there, and good luck for the future! Have you gotten any ideas yet for a story? If you'd like someone to talk to, feel free to mail me at GoddessTiggs77@aol.com, or IM me through AIM...same name.

~Blessed be
Tiggs~

 

[naudiz]

You people are so good to me.

Wow, this is going to sound macabre, but it helps so much to know I'm not the only one who gets shy about posting. I thought about this last night: what's the worst possible thing that could happen? I realized: if I get flamed, I don't care. When it gets to that point, it's just funny. Yes, yes trolls; come to me - give the nice lady harboring a lot of aggression an easy outlet. That's not an insult. It's a public service.

I can handle flamers. I'm mostly nervous about coming off as a dork to all the cool people. But, logically, I realize that's just silly. Now if only the rapid heartbeat and choked up breathing can be convinced...

Non sequitor: the dancing Welcome looks really cool rocking out to the Sex Pistols.

Another non sequitor: I just realized I'm no longer a Virgin! I'm Experienced! I'VE BEEN DEFLOWERED! YES!

Ahem.

On a serious note, Ezzy: my heart goes out to your friend. Fibromyalgia is such a mind fuck. Never mind what it does to the body (which, in my personal experience, feels like someone just beat you with a baseball bat - all the time). I can totally understand your friend not being as outgoing as he was. It's hard to be outgoing when on the inside, you're still you, but you're you feeling like you've just been beaten up. I've heard doctors sound mystified about the corelation between fibro and clinical depression. Where did these people get their degrees, out of a cereal box? Gimme a baseball bat and I'll solve the little mystery of how being in constant pain could lead to depression!

Or aggression. But I'm a nice girl, really. I'm turning all that aggression toward exercise so I can get in shape again. A curse can be a gift if you let it.

I'm not really going anywhere with this post. I just wanted to say thanks for making me feel welcome, a *lot* less nervous, and happy to be here.

 

[forgetunome]

naudiz...

I am glad we were able to make you feel welcome and we mean it! So jump in sweetie and join the party! If anyone jumps on ya' I'll grab a bat to and help you swing at 'em!

 

[Ezzy]

BTW...

I forgot to add my welcome to the BB, in my post above.


It was a pleasure to help with your flower.


E mail me if you could give me a few pointers for my friend.
He does listen to me (In the end) LOL.
Advice etc I have read all I can on the web about it, and agree that the doctors act kinda dumb around fibromyalgia, anything you have discovered may help him.

Thanks for being here, stay around and don't forget, just jump in with both feet.


EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

[Edited by Ezzy on 11-12-2000 at 05:49 PM]

 

[jcgirl]

naudiz, Just forget about everything else and everyone else and say what you feel. Jump in there take a swat at it, whats the worst that could happen? Welcome to the Funnyfarm........

 

[Skibum]

When I first started coming to the BB, I lurked for quite a while before I got up the nerve to start posting. After a week or two I started responding to a few threads, then I started one myself. It was a real rush when people actually responded to it.

Since then, I have posted several stories (one of them a VERY long one), co-authored a few, and totally changed the direction of my life (in ways I am not prepared to discuss here, but due in a large part to my new confidence).

I wish you luck, and I am familiar with the pain and suffering of fibromyalgia. It is a devastating disease. If you want to talk about it, feel free to e-mail me. I do have some experience in dealing with it.

 

[teresafannin]

Hello & welcome,naudiz.I also lurked for awhile before I posted & I still lurk more than I post, especially lately. This site has given me an opportunity to get used to talking to people again after hibernating for nearly a year. My only child was murdered a year ago in a very widely publicized mass shooting. Due to the publicity that I get when I speak at different events, most people don't know how to talk to me when they meet me in public. Many people that I thought were my friends will walk to the other side of a store or wherever, to avoid having to see me. For the most part, the people here are great & I enjoy the varied opinions, even when I don't agree. I ignore the trolls & flamers, I visit here as a way to relieve stress, I have enough of that in RL. Take care.