Answering machine / voicemail messages

[wishfulthinking]

I expect weird and wacky, strange and unusual, but I had to leave a message for a government official, and the recorded message was

"...leave an appropriate message."

Maybe it's my Australian sense of humour, but I had to stop myself laughing before the beep went. To quote Liar's AV "you fucktard" could be deemed appropriate in the right circumstances.

 

[wishfulthinking]

I forgot.

Please only make appropriate posts.

 

[entitled]

I forgot.

Please only make appropriate posts.

You Fucktard.

 

[Belegon]

You Fucktard.

say that with appropriate emphasis please...

 

[Weepingguitar]

I always start an argument with the voice mail. It generally gets accused of giving me the silent treatment...hmm...I wonder why people never call me back...

^_^

 

[entitled]

say that with appropriate emphasis please...

She sidles up to you. Her hands reach for your forearms, flattening over the cords of musce. She gives a little squeeze and slides them up, over your arms and shoulders, until she can hold her wrists together behind your neck. With a gentle pressure she pulls you down until her lips touch the lobe of your ear. Her breath tickles your neck as her voice, a sighing whisper, issues forth. "You fucktard."

 

[Belegon]

She sidles up to you. Her hands reach for your forearms, flattening over the cords of musce. She gives a little squeeze and slides them up, over your arms and shoulders, until she can hold her wrists together behind your neck. With a gentle pressure she pulls you down until her lips touch the lobe of your ear. Her breath tickles your neck as her voice, a sighing whisper, issues forth. "You fucktard."

I don't know how appropriate that empahsis may be...but it is very definitely appreciated emphasis...

 

[entitled]

I don't know how appropriate that empahsis may be...but it is very definitely appreciated emphasis...

It's appropriate emphasis. What it's emphasizing may not be appropriate, but that's not what you specified.

 

[Belegon]

It's appropriate emphasis. What it's emphasizing may not be appropriate, but that's not what you specified.

I think what it is emphasizing is very appropriate actually...



of course, I'm a fucktard

Now leave me a voicemail like that so we can stay related to the thread title


on topic:

my voicemail is very "proper", but that is because my profession demands a certain style of decorum...and while a client would not have my home number or cel phone (with VERY rare exceptions), my bosses do...

 

[entitled]

I think what it is emphasizing is very appropriate actually...



of course, I'm a fucktard

Now leave me a voicemail like that so we can stay related to the thread title


on topic:

my voicemail is very "proper", but that is because my profession demands a certain style of decorum...and while a client would not have my home number or cel phone (with VERY rare exceptions), my bosses do...

i can't leave you a voicemail like that. i don't have your number. Dimwit.

*ahem*

My voicemail message needs to be changed. Eventually.

 

[MissBri]

 

[Belegon]

i can't leave you a voicemail like that. i don't have your number. Dimwit.

*ahem*

My voicemail message needs to be changed. Eventually.

is that a hint?

I'm male. I don't understand hints, or subtle hints, or obvious hints...

 

[Liar]

I once had "Sing your message or I won't listen" as my answering macine message.

Some actually did. And I found out that one of my uncles probably has the worst singing voice in the northern hemisphere. Ugh.

 

[entitled]

is that a hint?

I'm male. I don't understand hints, or subtle hints, or obvious hints...

Only if you want it to be a hint. i collect telephone numbers like some people collect rubber bands... Never use them, but have them just in case.

 

[zeb1094]

Hmmm...

Not very original:

"Hey, you know what to do! So do it! If you don't then go back to school!"

 

[wishfulthinking]

I once had "Sing your message or I won't listen" as my answering macine message.

Some actually did. And I found out that one of my uncles probably has the worst singing voice in the northern hemisphere. Ugh.

Gee, if you felt the need to be punished, there are other ways.

 

[Liar]

Gee, if you felt the need to be punished, there are other ways.

Oh, do tell me about them.

 

[Guest]

Last outgoing message I used on an answering machine, and it's been a while, was:

"Hey, Martin's out right now and the answering machine is broken. You're talking to the toaster, but if you give me your name and number I'll write it down and put it on the refrigerator with one of those magnet thingies."

 

[SeaCat]

Best one I had, and I had it on the answering machine for a while, was:
"Harries house of Happy Hookers. Please leave a name, number, address and your order and we'll have it ready for you tonight."

One day my father called while I was out. The bastard made me spill my beer when I listened to his reply. He left his name, number, address anda request for a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead. Ha also added the pstscript that if his wife answered the door he could be found in South America with his eldest son, both of them hiding from his wife.

Cat

 

[MissBri]

 

[Aurora Black]

What the fuck is a fucktard, anyway?

 

[wishfulthinking]

What the fuck is a fucktard, anyway?

A retarded fucker? fucking retard? tardy fucker?

Liar, my speciality is whips - can also make people sing off-key.