Another Joke

[Shylady]

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz
show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a
gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even
managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had
run out before the show's host could ask her the big
question.

Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was
nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just
gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are!
You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will
probably look like garbage tomorrow.

"Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It
will all be OK."

Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the
car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are
you going?" Jane asked.

"I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon."

After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned,
sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed
to get tomorrow's question and answer!"

"What is it?" she cried excitedly.

"OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of
the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the
heart, and the penis.'" The couple went to sleep with
Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep
slumber.

At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger,
who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head,
the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before
returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the

morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once
again, Jane replied correctly.

So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the
quiz show. Even though she knew the question and
answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began
running and the host, after reminding the audience of
the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked the big
question.

"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male
anatomy? You have 10 seconds."

"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously.

"Very good. Six seconds."

"Eh, uh, the heart?"

"Very good! Four seconds."

"I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me
last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this
morning..."

"That's close enough!" said the game show host,
"CONGRATULATIONS!!"

 

[Pokerman]

LMAO too funny, Shylady!!!

 

[Shylady]

*wink* why thank you *licks*

 

[registered "^^"]

Semi-reformed innocent vert......

hehe...

 

[Pokerman]

*wink* why thank you *licks*

hmmm...figuring this out....compliment Shylady...get licks.... (taking notes...)

 

[Shylady]

Hi "^^" where you been? and notice that word 'semi' lol

ahh Pokerman you are learning *wink*

 

[Pokerman]

ahh Pokerman you are learning *wink*

And might I add, you look lovely today, Shylady...

 

[Shylady]

*LICKS*

 

[batter]

Shylady

my, my LOL
you certainly have a way with words!!

great joke. i enjoyed reading that one!

 

[Shylady]

Why thank you Batter you are looking ....... yummy, as always.

 

[Mensa]

Relatively speaking

Man goes into a pub and orders a double Scotch, sits down and has a large sip. He notices three large men sitting at the next table and calls out loudly to them"I just fucked your Mama!"
The three men look at him and just shake their heads. The old man takes another large sip from his drink, looks again at the three men and loudly proclaims"I also ate her pussy!" Again the three just look at him pityingly.
Finally the man finishes off his drink, leans toward the three and shouts"And I fucked her ass and she loved it!" The three men push back their chairs, stand up, cross over to the old man's table. grab him by the arms and say"C'mon, Dad, time to go home."