Another cry for help

[geronimo_appleby]

Once again, I'm in need.

6000(ish) words. Group sex MMFF foursome with some boy/boy stuff going on.

I'm generally happy with it, but it's the usual grammar/punc check I'm looking for. Any comments on improvements would also be appreciated.

I've thrown it out to a couple of my trusted Lit buddies for their 'reader' comments, and so far they've been positive.

Just a note: I use UK-English as my default language setting,well I am English.

Anyone okay to take a look?

 

[tanyachrs]

I suppose I can if you only want a grammar and punctuation check. But if you're happy with it and your readers are happy with it, are you sure you need it?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I suppose I can if you only want a grammar and punctuation check. But if you're happy with it and your readers are happy with it, are you sure you need it?

i need it. i'm happy with the overall, and so are the readers. they just let me know how it 'feels' for them... some are more succinct than others! *grin*

i have no real understanding for technicalities of punc/gram. i just go as i feel, ergo, a comma check is a requirement for me.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

sent.