Another Attempt

[karmadog]

If anyone has the chance please read this poem and give me some feedback. It is based on a very strange dream I had.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=42306

 

[Belilica]

Well, I looked it over and I like it. It starts off with a very sensual feel, but then turns and (the way I interpreted it) shows us how easy it is to waste the opportunity. It could also be looked at as the comparison to love being like a disease. Perhaps I'm looking too hard....

-Bel

 

[karmadog]

Thanks

No, I was thinking along the lines of wasting opportunities. Thanks for checking it out.

 

[Debbie]

I too, read your poem. At first? I wasn't sure
what to say. It was very different. Unique thoughts.
I liked that.

index : Erotic Poetry : I have stitched a seam in my heart



"I have stitched a seam in my heart
by karmadog



I have stitched a seam in my heart

a sort of moat to hold you in.
My left ventricle is your domain.
But from there,
you spread throughout my body.

Aorta to lungs
My breath feeds you
Trunk to limbs
My arms hold you
My legs carry you.
Up my neck to my brain.
My thoughts are of you.
You pool in my loins.
And I rise for you.
My kidneys filter you out.

And I will piss you away. "

She/he? becomes as one with you. You nurture her/him.
I enjoyed the poem till the last two lines. This is my opinion only.
I felt like the ending was so abrupt.

It came from a dream? Interesting.

 

[71bruce8]

karmadog poem

Re. poem "I have stitched a seam in my heart." Interesting that the source of the material is a dream. There are some people around into a concept called, according to one of my boys,"lucid dreaming." The claim is that you can participate actively in your own dreams as if you were your regular consious self. I think we have all had the experience being involved in a dream, at least briefly. Apparently we usually "balk" out of the experience by getting spooked but it doesn't have to go that way. In a sense it is appropriate that the poem ends abruptly as our involvement in a dream does as well. I will get a hold of my boy and look into this. 71bruce8. e-mail is gf453xr@hotmail.com for any who are interested or who have leads on the subject. Be patient re. response as our internet on cable service goes into coma state now and then. Bruce.