Annoyed at t.v's portrayal of Bondage

[Guest]

I caught a bit of something on BBC One (UK) about an on-line relationship that went down the BDSM route, and, of course, the guy was a serial rapist or something. They portrayed the whole scene as seedy and a bad thing.

This REALLY got me mad. What's the point of trying to enjoy a world where we're supposed to get ribof inhabitions, and be more confident in our sexual tastes and lifestyles, when things like this are on out t.v's? It really gave out the completly wrong message.

LR

 

[Moridin187]

That's not just BDSM they do it to LR. TV tends to portray ALL online things as evil and dangerous. It's the fear of the new thing that has always plagued humanity.

I caught a bit of something on BBC One (UK) about an on-line relationship that went down the BDSM route, and, of course, the guy was a serial rapist or something. They portrayed the whole scene as seedy and a bad thing.

This REALLY got me mad. What's the point of trying to enjoy a world where we're supposed to get ribof inhabitions, and be more confident in our sexual tastes and lifestyles, when things like this are on out t.v's? It really gave out the completly wrong message.

LR

 

[Slinky'sWench]

think I saw the same thing as you did and yes, it brought a chill to my thoughts. I'm guessing it helped highlight the all too obvious dangers involved in taking a virtual relationship into real time.

but the flip side is the using of a BDSM scene, to 'emphasise' the dangers. I don't think the prog set out to make the lifestyle seedy but my guess is that vanilla sex doesn't make for such a hard hitting story line, whereas something like bondage is not such as socially acceptable and therefore more powerful an image to use.

 

[Guest]

Having studied the Media a bit, I fully understand the importance of strong storylines. In my opinion though, I think this happens too often on t.v, and this was just something that really got me wound up. I know not everyone is happy with the whole scene and people aren't confident enough to explore different practices, but this portrayal doesn't give people freedon to decide about these things. They will watch the programme, and from then on, unless somehow otherwise pursuaded, associate BDSM, and on-line relationships in the same manner, as dangerous, dirty and even disgusting. It makes an association between Bondage and 'bad' things.

Not enough emphasis is given to the positive sides. People aren't given enough information from the media to choose. They are almost told, what they should think.

LR

think I saw the same thing as you did and yes, it brought a chill to my thoughts. I'm guessing it helped highlight the all too obvious dangers involved in taking a virtual relationship into real time.

but the flip side is the using of a BDSM scene, to 'emphasise' the dangers. I don't think the prog set out to make the lifestyle seedy but my guess is that vanilla sex doesn't make for such a hard hitting story line, whereas something like bondage is not such as socially acceptable and therefore more powerful an image to use.

 

[Slinky'sWench]

I understand what you are saying, I really do. As I said, the prog did unsettle me slightly, not because of my own ignorance of the lifestyle, for I am a submissive and have served my Master for 6 years now, but out of how easy it can be to be misguided.

my own thoughts on the prog last night are that it's basis was on mind games rather than soley on BDSM, the use of bondage in this case was to exagerate the images and not to push the scene into the realms of perversion.

Sadly, as you say, unless people are given positive information, many of societys 'norms' are upheld out of fear and distrust.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Hmm, TV goes for sensationalism instead of a balanced representation of the facts.

And you are surprised/annoyed?

No big surprise to me - I see it all the time; e.g., everytime there is a mention of a firearm in a crime, they always emphasize whether it is a "semi-automatic", even though the type of firearm has little or nothing to do with what happened.

It sounds like BDSM had little or nothing to do with the crime, but of course it made for good sensationalism, and fit in with somebody's agenda (as mentioned; anything online is bad).

 

[Guest]

i agree

i did not see the program but the media is always playing up whatever angle will make the story sell. it is a large part of why we in the BDSM community have to keep our relationships quiet in the public eye. Magister has bought me a special collar for being out in public that looks like a braided leather choker. i have to call it a choker or necklace because people at work or in my daily activities would probably react badly to it.

this highlight on relationships not considered 'normal' and by that i mean anything not out of the 'vanilla guidebook' really throws a bad light on people. If this person was not in this kind of relationship the program would have either not been done or would have highlighted what needed to be highlighted which is the crimes committed not the lifestyle he chose to live.

i am in a couple of BDSM communities also and the people there are so very diverse. there are those that live together, those that are married, those that have children, those that have not and the list goes on. by linking the man's crimes with his BDSM lifestyle the media did a disservice not only to all others in this lifestyle but to those out there that will now live in their ignorance and maybe even deepened a bias that was already unneccessary.

 

[geri]

apologies

i thought i was logged in.

 

[Hecate]

What scares me most about such an approach that was basically starting to highlight the dangers of online relations (at least this is what I thought when I read the opening post) is not so much the limelight on the BDSM community and the therewith associated "crime and perversion factor" (we are used to live with that, aren't we?)

What makes me feel so uneasy is that such documentations may make it look "safe" for non-BDSM'ers to get involved into RL relations that started on-line.

The by far widest part of relations started online do have nothing whatsoever to do with the BDSM lifestyle - they are just happening between "normal" people. And still - those meetings are by no means safer than a BDSM oriented one.

There are freaks and weirdoes "out there" - of all coleurs and kinds, vanilla ones, BDSM ones, gay ones, straight ones, married ones and single ones and whatever else.

It is pointed out over and over again that the BDSM crowd is "plain dangerous" - so people may be wary and take the step from online to real life with appropriate caution. But odd enough, since we know about the power we are going (very likely anyway) to hand over to someone / take from somenone we do take the necessary precautions .... but how about the silly girl walking straight into the arms of a rapist cause he lured her with romance and candle light dinners? I would gues that the amount of abusive / crime is a lot higher in that crowd than in the BDSM community (even if simply by mere numbers of meetings taking place).

I personally love the internet and I love meeting people in real life that I have met on the interent before. I have met people in my life that I have never met online that were a lot more potentially dangerous and scary! (honestly - the cute guy that made a move at me in the pub and asked me out for dinner sure didn't let me check his records either and he might just as well have given me a fake identity)