Anna & John (Closed for Paendragon)

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna

Anna looked up at John, wondering why he still stood there.

"Listen... since I seemed to have ruined your break ealier, why don't you let me buy you a drink?
That way, maybe, we can start this night over."

Anna watched him carefully.
Being in close proximity to John Macleod was the last thing she needed!

"Things weren't always bad between us... we could share a drink, and maybe remember some of those good times.
That would make me happy."

Anna shook her head.

"Things weren't always bad, but when they turned bad... boy were they bad, John ... or don't you remember ...?"

She sighed and glanced round.

"Look.... I've got a headache ... I was gonna head out of here soon ... I have to clear it with the boss, but ... "

She hesitated wondering what to say to him next.
Taking him back to her flat would be a bad move.
Drinking with him in one of the booths would send the wrong messages out and if she tried to find somewhere private for them ...
Her mouth turned up in a humourous smile.
She could just imagine the speculation if she took John into one of the "private" rooms here!

She stood unaware of John's close scrutiny wondering what to do, how to avoid being alone with him, without being rude ...

 

[Paendragon]

John

"I understand," he said.

He looked down at her, and smiled. His first genuine smile all night.

He knew she was right, about both the good times and the bad. Things could be so ownderful one minute, and then...

"How about coffee then? Caffeine is good for headaches..."

he opened her moth, but he forestalled her. "Look... I... we're not the same people anymore, right? I'm not asking for any more than what I asked for. Just one cup. Whereever you want to go. I promise..."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

"I understand,"

John responded reasonably, but Anna doubted if he did.
He never had. She wasn't sure that he'd ever really listened to her, but as she looked up at him warily her heart flipped in recognition of that smile.

"How about coffee then? Caffeine is good for headaches..."

She opened her mouth to protest.
God...she couldn't let herself go there again!
But he spoke before she had chance...

"Look... I... we're not the same people anymore, right?
I'm not asking for any more than what I asked for.
Just one cup. Whereever you want to go. I promise..."

She watched him carefully and nodded numbly.

"Ok... wait here ...?"

It was his turn to nod and slip onto a bar stool.
Anna went to the changing room and with a reluctant glance at her day clothes, she pushed them into a bag and pulled a thankfully long jacket on then slung the bag over her shoulder.
Moving back to the bar, she whispered quickly to Brandi that her headache had gotten worse and that she'd ring in tomorrow and sort out if she owed any hours.

Blushing hotly as she watched the girl's knowing glance rest on John as he moved towards her, she glanced nervously across the room.

"I'll square it with the boss... you run along ..."

She said kindly.
Anna needed no second bidding.
She drew John after her along the plush corridor and past the bouncers who knew her by name.

She paused and finally met John's eye.

"There's a coffee shop just round the corner ... will that suit you?"

She drew her jacket tightly around her.
Now she was outside the club, she was very aware of her state of undress.
She would change in the ladies room in the coffee house she decided. She would not risk riding home on the tube dressed like this!

 

[Paendragon]

John

"There's a coffee shop just round the corner ... will that suit you?"

He nodded, and smiled, and followed her outside of the club. She pulled her jacket tightly around herself, and walked rather briskly.

He sighed in irritation, but forced himself to keep his temper reigned in. He wanted to talk to her... even though he wasn't really sure why. He just didn't want... Christ, what the hell do I want?

He walked next to her in silence, for awhile, before turning to look at her out of the corner of his eye.

"If you're cold, I have a jacket in the car."

He knew it wasn't exactly the smoothest thing he could have said... but for some reason, now that he had her alone, he couldn't think of anything to say to her. He didn't know why he had pressed for this drink, beyond the fact that he just wanted to be near her... to talk to her for a little while without any venom being spewed. Besides, it was cool out, and the jacket she was wearing wasn't that much to speak of... and she looked cold. Funny, how quickly he could feel so protective of her...

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

Anna walked along the street and John fell into step beside her.
He was very quiet. She heard him sigh.
What was wrong now? She wondered nervously.
Things were never easy with him!

"If you're cold, I have a jacket in the car."

Anna stopped and looked across at John in surprise.
She looked at his face and answered almost nervously.

”It is a bit … cool… but… it’s not that…
I just feel a bit .. exposed … I usually change before I go home…”

She blushed.

”I’ll change outta my working clothes at the coffee house.
They have plenty of room in the ladies room.
I don’t want to go home on the tube dressed like this, especially at this time of night.”

She responded watching John's face and trying to read his expression.

”Let me get my jacket,”

He insisted anyway.
Anna nodded thinking it easier to agree.
She followed John round the corner and into the parking bays within the private club carpark.
She stood watching as he took out the keys and opened up his car.

”Wow.. nice car …”

She complimented him softly.

John made no comment and held out a long warm coat as she eased herself into it and felt his arms wrap the warm fabric about her. She looked up swamped by it.
She had always felt small compared to John’s bulk and muscle.
She had loved that feeling, she remembered.
She dragged her gaze away from his blushing hotly at them memory of how he would overpower her in bed and make her…

”You’re … doing alright for yourself it seems, John…”

She spoke huskily trying to detract herself and him.
She looked at the car and stroked the coat.
Yes … despite his usual casual appearance, it seemed as if John were successful in whatever he had chosen to do …

She looked up at him again, hoping he wouldn’t take her comment as one which just assessed him according to his income, his wealth, or lack of it.
She never had. It was John who had done that to himself.

”I.. I meant … I hope you’re happy in .. whatever you decided to do..”

Her stammered explanation sounded stupid even to her own ears.
She let out a sigh …
How she had ever let this man get so close, get to her so much, she would never understand … but she knew that even now …

She braced herself for John's answer...

 

[Paendragon]

He kissed her. He hadn't planned to. He wasn't even sure why he did... beyond the obvious. He could tell she was shocked, and he half expected a slap. And she would be right to do so.

He broke the kiss rather quickly. He stepped backward, until he was at arms length, and felt his face heat. He must be practically glowing red from embarrassment.

"I... I didn't... I mean, I don't know why I did..." he rolled his eyes, " I mean, I know why I DID it... you're as beautiful as ever, but..."

He shook his head. She still hadn't answered. Out of shock, he assumed. But she hadn't hit him either.

"I didn't plan that, I swear to you. You just looked so... right. Like it was, and..."

He frowned. "I'm sorry... there's no excuse."

Now what?

"I'd still like to have that cup of coffee with you... I'll understand if you want to forget about it."

He'd made an ass out of himself. Now all he could do was wait for her answer. With dread.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

His answer was not at all what Anna expected.
He merely looked at her; giving her one of those all encompassing gazes that used to make her stomach do somersaults… hell it still did.
She felt her eyes caught in his mesmeric gaze and watched as he moved closer.

And then he kissed her.

His lips moved to capture hers and kissed strongly, deeply throwing her body and mind into total confusion before moving away again.


She watched him step back, his eyes on hers.
The emotions jolted through her like a thunderbolt.
How could she … feel so much for him… after all this time?
After how badly it had all ended?

Her eyes were wide, questioning.

"I... I didn't... I mean, I don't know why I did..."

Anna nodded, but was hurt by his words.

" I mean, I know why I DID it... you're as beautiful as ever, but..."

Anna blushed at the compliment… at least he felt as attracted to her as she was to him but …

"I didn't plan that, I swear to you.
You just looked so... right. Like it was, and..."

Anna nodded. It wasn’t John’s style to “ambush” a girl.
He never needed to, she imagined.
But the kiss was obviously a mistake… but fortunately he had realised it before…
Before she had betrayed herself by responding.

"I'm sorry... there's no excuse."

He was treating it like a major incident … a major mistake.
Anna struggled for control, her heart still racing.

… he regrets it … he doesn’t want you … he never really did …

She told herself as she regained control.

"I'd still like to have that cup of coffee with you...
I'll understand if you want to forget about it."

Anna shrugged in a calculatedly casual response.

”Coffee … is fine John … “

She commented breathlessly, annoyed that the tone of her voice did not exactly match the effect she was trying to give.
Turning away, she set off in the direction of the coffee shop…

”It’s not far… just along here… “

She spoke more steadily this time and waited until John caught up and fell into step beside her.
Still Anna avoided his eyes.
His kiss had brought back memories… feelings…
He was no good for her … they were no good together …
And yet … she had always had such a … need … a hunger … for him.
Perhaps that was why she had stayed too long.
Stayed until it had gotten so bad between them.
Stayed until it was totally destroyed.

Anna’s unhappy thoughts were interrupted as she realised John was speaking to her.
She looked up to see his eyes on hers, obviously expecting an answer…

”Sorry… I… I was miles away… “

She responded vaguely before stopping outside the coffee shop.

”Well.. um… here we are..”

She murmured, her eyes moving to the building and once again avoiding John’s.

Please God, let us get this over with fast … before I do or say something really stupid… something I know I’ll regret …

She willed as they stood together in the isolated darkness of the back street.

”Shall we…?”

Anna motioned towards the door…

 

[Paendragon]

John

He opened the door for her, and motined for her to enter, then followed her inside. He let her pick the table, and tried his damndest not to look at her ass, as she walked ahead of him. When she sat he looked up at her eyes - yes, he had checked out her ass, much to his irritation, and was now hoping he hadn't gotten caught - and smiled.

He sat down next to her without thinking, and ordered an espresso when the waitress came over.

He never took his eyes off Anna. His mind raced for something to say, something to break the uncomfortable silence that had befallen them. Something to make him forget the kiss he could still feel burning his lips.

"Are you... happy?"

He wasn't sure why he asked. He wanted to know if she was happy, of course. He hoped with all of his heart she was... it just wasn't the first question he would have normally thrown at her. Truth is, his mind was still swimming in the kiss, and rational thought seemed to have left him.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna

"Cappuccino, please.."

She ordered automatically as she sat opposite John.
The table she had selected was way back in the shop, in a secluded corner. NOT because she wanted to be in an intimate place with him, but rather because she did not want to be spotted in her "work clothes".

They sat eyeing each other as the waitress busied herself with the order. There were a few other customers, but the place was quiet, subdued almost, a stark contrast to the club.

Anna was aware of John's eyes on her, had seen his look checking out her curves and her ass when she had walked in front of him. Well... why not... dressed like this she was checked out all the time.. it was part of the job? So no big deal right?
Only it was.
It was because she wasn't working.
It was because it was John.
It was because she still wanted him to admire her, to see what he had missed out on maybe ... and that was just damn childish!

Anna muttered a thankyou and began drawing patterns in the cocoa dusted froth, keeping her eyes from meeting John's.

"Are you... happy?"

Her head shot up to meet his.
His gaze was intent. He actually wanted to know.
As if he cared.
She shrugged.

"Sure ... what's not to be happy about ... "

She responded softly.
She was damned if she was going to tell him her ambitions, that she had dropped out of academia to pursue her "dream" of performing.
She couldn't hold back a grin.
That would throw his whole perception of her off keel.
She was supposed to be the spoiled lil rich girl with her nose to the academic grindstone, a nose she looked down upon starving wanna-be writers, as John had once considered himself.
It must have been a real shock to find her in a gentleman's club half undressed and ...

Anna giggled trying to stop her mirth spilling out fully.
For the first time she realised how totally freaked John must have been!
She raised the spoon to her mouth and flicked a tongue across it enjoying the chocolatey taste and trying to focus on that to stop herself from losing it altogether ...

That's right Anna, go hysterical on him ... that will really make his night ...

She raised her eyes to his. He was still watching her closely.
Half clad ... wrapped in his coat ... she should go and change ...
She opened her mouth to say so but other words came out.

"Things are different now John ... there are other ... priorities in my life ... I was never the girl you thought I was to start with ... you'd never understand what I am now ... "

She shrugged dismissively.

"... but I'm happy enough ... I have alot I'm working towards ... but without ambition ... where's the point ... all anyone needs is a lucky break, right?"

She picked up her cup and started sipping at the aromatic liquid.
Her tongue flicking out periodically to capture all of the froth.
She kept her eyes averted knowing it safer not to focus on John and his avid observation of her.

 

[Paendragon]

John

"Sure ... what's not to be happy about ... "

he watched her. She seemed distracted. Nervous, for some reason. Then she smiled, a small smile.

It made his heart jump a bit, but he his it from her, not wanting her to see how she was affecting him. Instead, he stayed silent, and watched.

Then she giggled, and he grinned in spite of himself. She wouldn't meet his gaze for more than a few seconds, but he didn't mind. It allowed him to watch her... to enjoy the sight of her, the smell of her, without her noticing, and undoubtedly rebuffing him somehow.

Then she licked her spoon, and he nearly lost it. Her small pointed tongue flashed out, to catch some of the choclately froth. At that moment, it seemed to be one of the most erotic things he had ever seen, and, much to his embarrassment, he could feel his body respond.

Jesus, get a hold of yourself, John!, he thought. He was no boy with raging hormones, who was unable to control himself!

And yet here he was... unable to control himself.

"Things are different now John ... there are other ... priorities in my life ... I was never the girl you thought I was to start with ... you'd never understand what I am now ... " She shrugged. "... but I'm happy enough ... I have alot I'm working towards ... but without ambition ... where's the point ... all anyone needs is a lucky break, right?"

She took another sip, and swiped her lips with that accursed tongue again.

He shifted slightly in his seat.

"Breaks... yes, we all need a break once in a while," he said, without thinking. Damn... he was doing an awful lot of not thinking tonight.

"I mean," he said, hurrying to cover his gaff. "I wouldn't have been able to follow my dreams if not for an incredible break. I wish I could say that my skill got me through the door, but..." he smiled, "it was luck as much as anything else."

He took a sip of his espresso, and looked down at the table, still smiling. "Last year, just after Christmas, a pretty nasty snowstorm hit Ohio, in the States. I was sitting in the airport, waiting for my connecting flight to New York. Irritated, and cold, I might add." He looked up at her, and shrugged, slightly embarrassed. She knew how his temper could get at times. "My agent had told me that there was no market for my book, and that he was leaving me... so I decided to fly out to New York, and tell him what a jackass I thought he was, in person."

He smiled and shook his head.

"Of course, now I realize that he wasn't the only jackass in our business relationship. Anyway, the gentleman who was sitting next to me at the airport - who was much grumpier than I was, I might add - just happened to work as an editor for Penguin Putnam. After we hit the bar lamenting our bad luck, he asked to see my manuscript. The rest is history."

He frowned. "Anyway, the point of that long-winded exploration into my chnage of luck is this..."

He looked at her, his eyes focusing on her. Intent. "Follow your dreams, Anna. Whatever they are. You're right, all you need is a break. But you have something else working for you, especially if it's acting your working for. You're very good at it. You always were.... and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that more often. I could be..." he shrugged again, "a jackass at times. And if it's not acting you're pursuing, I have no doubt you'll suceed at that as well. You can be quite... formidable... if you put your mind to something." He smiled. He realized he had been talking non-stop, an extremely rare occurrance for him - Anna had always told him he was as social as a rock... except with her, he remembered. And she was looking at him, now, not avoiding his eyes.

And he wanted to kiss her again. Badly. This time, he fought it.

"In fact, do me one favor. If someone ever tells you you can't do whatever it is your after, just envision that it's me saying it. That'll get those combatative juices flowing, if nothing else..." he joked.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna

"Breaks... yes, we all need a break once in a while,"

Anna nodded and glanced up as John began talking.

"I mean, I wouldn't have been able to follow my dreams if not for an incredible break.
I wish I could say that my skill got me through the door, but...
It was luck as much as anything else."

Anna sipped at her cappuccino as John took up his espresso.
John had had a lot of talent, she remembered.
She had always admired his writing … had loved reading some of his stuff … loved having the sheets of scribbled ideas littering the flat, the bedroom …
He hadn’t quite believed in himself back then, she had thought.
She put down the cup and watched him amazed as he continued to speak.

"Last year, just after Christmas, a pretty nasty snowstorm hit Ohio, in the States. I was sitting in the airport, waiting for my connecting flight to New York.”

Anna watched his lowered head, but was taken aback as he raised his head and smiled into her eyes.
Her heart did a flip, then raced on.

” … Irritated, and cold, I might add."

Anna giggled as he shrugged.
Yes. That was John alright!
But she said nothing and sipped quickly at her coffee as she continued to listen.

"My agent had told me that there was no market for my book, and that he was leaving me... so I decided to fly out to New York, and tell him what a jackass I thought he was, in person."

Anna smiled broadly. Classic John.
But how was it that he could laugh at himself now?
He used to take himself so seriously!

"Of course, now I realize that he wasn't the only jackass in our business relationship.”

Anna stared.
Damn!!
Admission of weakness too?

Her mind was playing catch up trying to equate this chatting, self-effacing man with the sullen, volatile man who had driven her away from him with his pointed remarks and destructive comments.

”Anyway, the gentleman who was sitting next to me at the airport - who was much grumpier than I was, I might add - just happened to work as an editor for Penguin Putnam. “

She giggled and caught her breath as John twinkled a smile at her.

”After we hit the bar lamenting our bad luck, he asked to see my manuscript. The rest is history."

So he’d made it big. Done what he said he would.
She was happy for him!
But before she could say so he continued his eyes holding hers, his expression earnest.

"Anyway, the point of that long-winded exploration into my change of luck is this...
Follow your dreams, Anna. Whatever they are. “

She nodded mutely.

”You're right; all you need is a break.
But you have something else working for you, especially if it's acting your working for.
You're very good at it. You always were.... and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that more often. I could be... a jackass at times.”

Anna bit her lip, remembering how he’d hurt her, but more amazed to see how John was now.

”And if it's not acting you're pursuing, I have no doubt you'll suceed at that as well.
You can be quite... formidable... if you put your mind to something."

Anna chuckled along with him.

He had always teased her about being headstrong, opinionated and in the early days, when his comments had held no edge, she had used to enjoy his gentle observations about her character.

"In fact, do me one favour.”

Without thinking, Anna nodded her agreement.

””If someone ever tells you you can't do whatever it is you’re after, just envision that it's me saying it.
That'll get those combatative juices flowing, if nothing else..."

Anna shook her head and giggled.

”Ohhh John…. “

She breathed his name.

”I’d hate to figure in your next book as the woman you constantly fought and argued with. I guess we brought out the worst in each other … “

… and the best …

Her heart told her, but she ignored it.

”I’m so glad you made it.”

Instinctively she reached across the table and took his hand.
Squeezing it affectionately she looked deep into his eyes.

”I always thought you were good. I hope you remembered that … even after … everything. I’m so glad you got your dream.”

Suddenly aware of their contact, Anna drew her hand away and drained the last of her coffee before picking up the spoon and toying with it.

”But … as for me … I don’t know which way I’m headed…”

She began to draw patterns in the froth at the bottom of her cup, not looking at John as she spoke.

”I ditched college … decided academia wasn’t for me … you can imagine how that went down with the folks back home…?”

She glanced up briefly, saw him nod and looked down again, the spoon still proving an effective distraction.

”I’m enrolled in a series of “performing arts” courses … I’ve done lots of stuff … acting, singing, dancing … hell I even did a course of circus performing last summer!”

The laugh was forced.
She dropped the spoon and looked up meeting his eye.
He was so successful and she was sat in her club “uniform” with no real prospects.
He must be congratulating himself on a lucky escape.
She caught his eye moving to her skimpy clothes, realising for the first time that his jacket had fallen open.

”Not what you would have expected from the “swotty lil’ rich girl” huh?”

She quoted one of John’s pet insults and sighed.

”I know it’s the wrong thing to say … but … I actually like working there … it’s safe … ALL I do is waitress … no … “extras” … and it’s totally flexible … I can do my classes and if I got a part … even a bit part … I can fit work around that … they’ve been good to me there … “

She shrugged.

”And I know you never thought so, but I have to make a living.”

The irony of the situation hit her.
Life was just too strange.

”I should get changed maybe … then think about heading home … I have a class tomorrow afternoon … “

Anna halted suddenly, eyes widening.
It was highly likely that John could meet up with her parents at some stage … and if he did …

”Look … ummm… if you see my parents … you.. you won’t tell them… about the club I mean? “

She blushed hotly.

”I’m doing nothing immoral or illegal but …
They really wouldn’t understand … “

Again Anna reached out and laid a hand on his arm.

”You… won’t say anything will you, please John?”

She entreated.

 

[Paendragon]

John

"Ohhh John...I’d hate to figure in your next book as the woman you constantly fought and argued with. I guess we brought out the worst in each other..."

He smiled. It was true, they could bring out the worst in each other. And the best.

"I’m so glad you made it."

Then she shocked him by reaching out and grasping his hand. She squeezed... and he tried with everything he had to act as if it had no effect on him. As if he couldn't feel himself stirring even more. As if her touch alone didn't feel hot as a flame licking his skin. Then she looked at him... really looked at him, and his breath caught.

"I always thought you were good. I hope you remembered that... even after... everything. I’m so glad you got your dream.

Then she pulled her hand away, and it was as if all the warmth in the world went with it. She finished her cappuccino, then picked her spoond, and toyed with it... like she always did when she was feeling slightly uncertain.

"But... as for me... I don’t know which way I’m headed..."

She continued to toy with the spoon. he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Damn, he wanted her...

Wanted to take her in his arms...hold her...kiss her...

He broke off the train of thought before it took it's next step...

I ditched college... decided academia wasn’t for me... you can imagine how that went down with the folks back home...?"

He smiled, and nodded. Not only in imagining how her parents would react, but for her use of the very American, or, more precisely, very John MacLeod "back home."

His smile slipped, as he remembered an argument about that very thing. She had pointed out that he always referred to America as 'back home,' as if where they lived wasn't his home at all. God damn, I was an ass...

He put the smile back into place. It wasn't hard, looking at her.

"I’m enrolled in a series of “performing arts” courses... I’ve done lots of stuff... acting, singing, dancing... hell I even did a course of circus performing last summer!"

He laughed at the sudden vision of 'Anna the lion-tamer' that popped into his head, but the laugh froze in his throat, when he saw her drop her spoon and look up at him. God, she looked so fragile... Why? Was it her job? He looked down at her outfit - damn, she looked hot - and back up at her. He hoped that wasn't it...

"Not what you would have expected from the 'swotty lil’ rich girl' huh?"

He felt his face heat, as he realized she had caught him looking at her... and her use of one of his typical attacks.

I know it’s the wrong thing to say … but … I actually like working there... it’s safe... ALL I do is waitress... no “extras” ... and it’s totally flexible... I can do my classes and if I got a part... even a bit part... I can fit work around that... they’ve been good to me there..." She shrugged.

He opened his mouth to tell her that she didn't have to explain anything to him, but she continued before he could.

"And I know you never thought so, but I have to make a living."

His mouth closed as he realized, for the first time, just how hurtful he was to her. he had always known that she could be, but a part of him had always believed that it was mostly her, that she was to blame, and he had just retaliated. But that wasn't true... not true at all. He had said some things...

"I should get changed maybe … then think about heading home... I have a class tomorrow afternoon."

Her eyes widened.

He listened intently.

Look... ummm… if you see my parents... you... you won’t tell them... about the club I mean?"

She blushed.

"I’m doing nothing immoral or illegal but... They really wouldn’t understand..."

Again Anna reached out and laid a hand on his arm, and the fire was back...

"You... won’t say anything will you, please John?"

He placed his hand on hers, in part to comfort her, and in part to make sure she left it there.

"If I run into your parents, I doubt they'll want to stop and have a long chat with me..." he said, with a warm smile. "But if they do... you have my promise that they won't get a word out of me."

He squeezed her hand in his own, and then turned it so that his fingers were entwined with hers. His skin tingled with the innocent, yet not so innocent, contact.

"Don't be ashamed about what you do, Anna. I, for one, am proud of you."

He found himself glancing at her lips, and remembering a kiss in front of a car... he sighed, and looked up at her, unconsciously, licking his lips.

He noticed he was staring at her, and she was staring back...

He could get lost in a moment like this...

Then he came to his senses.

"Ah, you wanted to get dressed."

He looked over his shoulder, and found the ladies room. He pointed it out to her.

He rose to his feet to let her out, holding out his hand to help her to her feet.

"If you need a ride home, I'd be happy to oblige..."

She didn't respond immediately. Instead, he noticed her blushing bright red, and her eyes widening as she looked down. Then her eyes shot up toward his, and she took his hand.

Then it hit him. He had been so busy trying not to make her uncomfortable by showing his attraction, that in his rush to offer her an out, he had leapt to his feet and forgotten one important detail... his state of semi-arousal.

And there it was for all to see, pressed up against the front of his black jeans like a flag for the Republic of Horny.

He flushed, and felt his face burn. He tried to say something, but his throat had gone dry.

All he could think to do was help her to her feet.

Way to go John. What a nightmare...

He looked down at her, and opend his mouth to apoligise... not sure exactly what to say.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

Anna felt John’s hand upon hers.
It felt good. Too good.
His hands had always been much larger than hers.
She had loved to walk hand in hand with him …

"If I run into your parents, I doubt they'll want to stop and have a long chat with me..."

Anna smiled. He had no idea how little her parents knew about “them” and how little they knew about the break up.
They would certainly want to talk to John if they ever saw him, even if he did not realise that.

"But if they do... you have my promise that they won't get a word out of me."

Anna nodded in grateful acknowledgement.
One less problem to worry about.
And yet … as she felt the sensation of John threading his fingers through hers she found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on reality.

"Don't be ashamed about what you do, Anna. I, for one, am proud of you."

She laughed and then realised he was serious.
He had never told her he was proud of her and now …
Of all the things to tell her he was proud of … this …?
She eyed him in confusion.
She didn’t know him anymore … or rather she knew part of him … but all that … baggage … had gone … and because she didn’t feel threatened … she didn’t have to hit out … to defend herself by attacking first …

She’d had a sharp enough tongue at times, she realised, but she’d rarely truly meant the things she’d said … it was just … she’d been so damn insecure with him … weak probably … but as she looked at him now …
Oh God …
She’d never stopped loving him …
Never stopped wanting to be with him … wanting him …

"Ah, you wanted to get dressed."

She nodded mutely, pleased of the distraction.
She looked in the direction he pointed, although she knew well enough where the ladies room was, he hadn’t realised that. She was touched by his attentiveness and looked at his outstretched hand as he offered to help her and offered her a ride home.

” … I'd be happy to oblige..."

Yes. But that would be … difficult.
She knew it would be … awkward … because … she admitted to herself … she wouldn’t want him to go …
She blushed at the track of her thoughts and then found the blush deepening as she noticed the tent at John’s crotch.
Quickly, she dragged her eyes away from the clear evidence of his response to her, her eyes shot up questioningly to meet John’s in shared embarrassment.
Her mind replayed all too many and too graphic images of John’s proud cock … a cock she had enjoyed … and pleasured … in so many ways …

”Perhaps if I change … then… “

She commented self-consciously.
She had sat half naked in front of him. John was a normal man…
It meant nothing … nothing … special anyhow …

She grabbed her holdall and moved quickly to the ladies room.

Fiery face pressed up against the cool mirror, Anna took a steadying breath.
She had to forget about their sex life … how hot they’d been together …
She had to remember the hurt he’d caused … the pain … the …
But it all paled into insignificance now she had seen him again.
And now he seemed … so changed … it was incredible … if only …

With an impatient sigh, Anna pushed her “work clothes” into her bag and scrubbed at the make up she wore.
She worked unnecessarily hard on her skin, as if it could scrape away the heated blush that still had not completely disappeared from her usually creamy complexion.
Fresh and pink, Anna took out a brush and ran it over and over through her hair before securing it in a high pony tail.
She smoothed the sky blue jumper down over the white t-shirt underneath.
She tightened the belt on her hipster jeans and nodded satisfied by her reflection.
She would do.
Ms Sophistication she wasn’t ... but what the hell!?!

She slipped back into the café and paused to exchange a few words with the waitress as she passed Anna.
She did not see John’s reaction to her altered appearance.
By the time she approached the table he had schooled his expression.
She handed him his jacket.

”I’ll be warm enough in this now thanks …. “

She smiled and glanced outside at the deserted streets.

”The tube will be useless for me at this time of night … would you walk me back to the club … I can get one of the taxis they provide there … they look after the girls pretty well you know … ?“

Anna added to reassure John.
He did not need to feel obligated and besides … having him see her place was a situation perhaps best avoided.

 

[Paendragon]

John

He watched her practically run to the ladies room, and cursed himself.

"Can't even fucking control yourself, anymore, can you John?" he said to himself, and sat down facing the ladies room.

Once again, he had managed to make a dog's dinner out of the evening. He shook his head, suddenly wishing the empty espresso cup in front of him was filled to the rim with Jack. He needed it.

At least his irritation with himself had one positive effect. It managed to ease the swelling in his pants.

He looked up at the bathroom door. Damn, she was just as he remembered her, and more. It was as if time hadn't passed at all as far as his emotions were concerned. Except for the fact that he was much more confident in himself than he used to be. And she was... she was as amazing as ever.

He was still in a bit of shock about her revelation about her classes, and finally following her dreams. He meant what he said about being proud of her. It was incredibly gutsy to defy her family in that way. And the job... well, he had been shocked to see her in that sort of place - which was a bit hypocritical considering he had been there himself - and probably let her see that shock earlier in the evening. He's not surprised she didn't want a ride home from him. He hadn't, yet, shown that he made it a policy not to judge. His own life, unfortunately, had taught him that harsh lesson...

He did know one thing, however... he wasn't going to allow her to just walk out of his life now that he was lucky enough to find her back inside of it.

The bathroom door opened, and he climbed to his feet, his mouth hanging slightly open, and his breath catching, at the sight of her. She was beautiful. Dressed in normal, everyday, casual street clothes, and she was still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He schooled his expresion immediately, so as not to frighten her even further.

She stood in front of him and handed him his jacket.

"I’ll be warm enough in this now thanks..."

He nodded in response.

She smiled and glanced outside at the deserted streets. His heart leapt. He was acting like a lovestruck 12 year old! What the hell was wrong with him?!?!

"The tube will be useless for me at this time of night... would you walk me back to the club... I can get one of the taxis they provide there... they look after the girls pretty well you know...?"

He shook his head. No, John, don't lose her... not yet. Just a ride home, and it will open the door to see her again...

"I'm sure they do," he said, smiling. "But... you know I can't let you wait for a taxi this time of night."

She hesitated, looking at him, uncertainty in her eyes.

He thought he knew why, and he would ease her discomfort if he could.

"Look," he began, looking at her intently. "I know you saw...... I'm not going to deny what I'm feeling... what I'm..." He shook his head, and noticed she had lowered her eyes, averting them. he reached out and cupped her chin gently in one hand, and raised her face toward his, so that she again looked him in the eyes. So close... all he had to do was lean in... he forced the thought from his head. "I promise you, Love, I will be the perfect gentleman. I know you don't feel the same way I do... and I don't blame you."

Here it goes. "All I ask is that you consider... just consider... allowing me to be even a small part of your life..."

He knew of butterflies in the stomach, but he would swear he had a nest of eagles flying around in his, as he waited for her reply.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

Anna watched as John shook his head and eyed him quizzically.

"I'm sure they do, but... you know I can't let you wait for a taxi this time of night."

She paused. There were taxis on call, the wait would be mere minutes and she would be safe inside and besides, she admitted to herself, the idea of being in close confines with John was … disturbing … it would bring back a host of memories …

"Look, I know you saw...... I'm not going to deny what I'm feeling... what I'm..."

How fortunate that she was female and had no tell tale erection to betray her reactions she thought as she averted her gaze from his, wishing he would n’t make her feel like this.

Her eyes widened as she felt his hand move to cup her chin.
Gently he drew her face upwards making her look him in the eyes.
She blushed faintly as his fingers still seemed to caress her skin, preventing her from shying away from him.

"I promise you, Love, I will be the perfect gentleman.
I know you don't feel the same way I do... and I don't blame you."

Her heart lurched and then raced on at twice the pace.

"All I ask is that you consider... just consider... allowing me to be even a small part of your life..."

Anna’s eyes widened as she realised what he was asking.
He wanted to be in her life … and the way he was looking at her … and earlier his reaction to her … but no … he didn’t mean … not like that …
Although perhaps he just wanted to bed her again … after all their love life had been pretty damn hot.

She blushed remembering; images of John naked, of John touching her, of John inside her flooded her mind.
She battled to stop her thoughts from running away with themselves.
There was nothing wrong with that … as such … she was flattered he still found her attractive … but she knew even know that if she let him any closer, her heart would soon be in shreds again.

”Perhaps you should drive me home first … ?”

She suggested, tentatively.

”It’d be nice to … talk … catch up maybe …?
And then … we can see … “

She allowed him to take her hand and lead her outside.
Together they made their way back to the car park.
Anna was silent, lost in thought.
Hell, she didn’t even know if he was with somebody now.
She couldn’t imagine him being without female company.
John had always had a high sex drive with her.
She glanced over at his hand and saw no ring or tell tale mark.
He could be married though. Nowadays you never knew…
But she couldn’t just ask him … could she…?

She let him open the door and allowed him to help her into the car.
Ever the gentlemen, he made her comfortable, before going round to slide in behind the wheel.
She silently admired the way he pulled out and pointed the car in the direction of her home.

”You assume I live in the same place then?”

She broke the silence and then raced on.

”Well … of course, I do, but I’ve had some work done since you were last there …”

The awkwardness of the remark was smoothed over as she began to tell how she had extended the top floor and moved her bedroom up there.
The décor was totally different now she told him.

”I’m sure you’ll hate it … “

She giggled, not realising that she made the assumption he would get to see it …

 

[Paendragon]

John

Her eyes widened, and she blushed fiercely.

"Perhaps you should drive me home first... ?"

He noticed how hesitant... tentative she was.

"It’d be nice to... talk... catch up maybe...? And then... we can see...

He tried to hide his elation. He smiled, and took her hand in his, leading her outside.

They walked in silence back to his car, hand in hand. He reveled in the feel of her delicate hands in his, and he squeezed it affectionately. It was like a dream... one he was afraid to wake up from.

He hleped her into the car, and closed the door after she was settled. Don't fuck this up, John. Control yourself.

He opened the driver's side door, and slid in behind the wheel. he put the car into first gear, and slipped out onto the road, fighting the slight impulse - as always happened when he returned from the States - to stay on the right hand side of the road.

He, of course, knew where she lived, and headed in that direction.

"You assume I live in the same place then?"

He opened his mouth to apologise - it had never occurred to him that she wouldn't live there - but she continued quickly.

"Well... of course, I do, but I’ve had some work done since you were last there..."

She told him what she had done to the place, and he listened attentively.

"I’m sure you’ll hate it..."

She giggled, and he laughed in response. He was happy with the invite...

"I doubt it. You've always had good taste. I can't wait to see it."

Her giggles cut off, and he glanced at her. She swallowed, and then smiled at him. Was she nervous, now? Should he beg off, and leave after dropping her off?

He looked at the road ahead.

No. He wouldn't beg off. He knew Anna well enough to know that if she wanted him to leave, she would damn well tell him to. And he would if she asked.

He reached out a hand, and grasped hers reassuringly.

"If you don't want me to come in, Anna..."

"Of course I do..."

She sounded a bit rushed, almost as if she wasn't sure whether she really wanted him to, or not.

"To see waht I've done... otherwise, I wouldn't have asked you..."

She smiled at him, but it was a nervous smile.

He nodded his head. "Perfect gentleman, Anna... my promise..."

They drove on awhile longer, and he was forced to take his hand back to downshift around a corner.

"Here we are..."

He was able to find a place to park relatively close to her home. He practically leapt out of the car, and around to her side to open her door, holding out a hand to help her out.

"You're estate, My Lady," he said, in his terrible fake british accent. He had always used it with her when he was in a particularly playful mood. It had always made her giggle, and wrinkle her nose as if she smelled something foul... which was undoubtedly his accent.

The good times...

He helped her to her feet.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

"I doubt it. You've always had good taste. I can't wait to see it."

Anna’s eyes met John’s and her giggles ceased as her heart did a flip then raced on. For a minute there, she had almost forgotten … almost forgotten that time has passed … that their relationship had degenerated to such arguments … to such heartache.

She concentrated on the London streets making a conscious effort not to watch his hands on the steering wheel as he drove back to her home, as if he had never stopped doing so.
She bit back a sigh, her mind trying to make sense of the conflicting feelings whizzing through her brain.
She almost jumped as she felt his hand grasping hers.
She turned her eyes to his.

"If you don't want me to come in, Anna..."

He was offering her a “get out”, but Anna answered before she even thought.

"Of course I do..."

And it was what she wanted, but she knew it wasn’t wise and that it probably wasn’t a good move. She couldn’t let him think she wanted to “go there” again!

"To see what I've done... otherwise, I wouldn't have asked you..."

She clarified hastily.
But did he want him to see what she’d done, how she’d changed the place, changed it to blot out memories of him and make it hers once more.

"Perfect gentleman, Anna... my promise..."

Anna smiled hesitantly.
She knew John wouldn’t force anything on her.
Hell! He didn’t need to.
Just looking at him again, being in the same car as him again … !
Already old memories, old wounds had opened up.
How long would it take her to recover from him this time?
And now he wanted to be “in” her life?
How was that going to work?

Why was everything about John so complicated?

"Here we are..."

Anna blinked.
She hadn’t realised they were home, at her home so quickly.
She sat frozen as she looked up at her place.
This was so not a good idea, she thought nervously, but John was already at her door holding his hand to her and inviting her to step out.

"You're estate, My Lady,"

She giggled at his terrible accent.
He had always been sooo bad at that!
She took his hand and stepped out of the car, releasing immediately as he closed the door and locked the car.
She moved to the door and put the key into the lock, turning it slowly.

John’s bulk seemed to dwarf the compact hallway.
She indicated for him to be silent and led the way up the stairs to the second floor, where her apartment was situated.
Again a second key was turned and the door opened.
She entered and waved him through to the kitchen as she closed and secured the door.

”Shona moved out from downstairs,”

Anna spoke as she moved automatically to the kettle and switched it on.

”I have a new tenant now … “

She pulled out a couple of mugs.
The downstairs had always been sub-let to provide an additional income, but mainly because Anna did not need all the space of the large Victorian house.

”Tea or instant coffee? I got out of the habit of the freshly ground stuff … “
She explained almost apologetically.

”So … do you want the tour… or … “

She moved to the kettle as it flicked off.

”Lets have this in the lounge .. “

She offered.

”I’ve redecorated all of the house except the kitchen I think … “

Anna handed John his mug and led the way down the landing to the room at the far end, a room that was the largest and situated at the front of the house. She preceded him into the room and smiled as she saw his shocked look.

Gone was the clutter of possessions and “objets” that used to clutter the place. Looking round John took in the pale cream walls and wooden floors, the black and glass furniture and the mock black fire at the contrived hearth. Anna put her mug down on the glass coffee table and switched on two uplighters in opposite corners of the room before going to switch on the fire, causing the artificial, but convincing “flames” to spring to life.

”Make yourself comfortable John…”

She offered waving towards the two black leather sofas set at right angles to each other and walking back across the one rug and kicking off her shoes before tucking her feet beneath her.

”Changed a bit huh? … My chill out room is next door now, where my bedroom was … and the bedroom’s upstairs on the top floor … I had builders totally redo that … like it…?”

She giggled at his astonished look as she sipped her tea.

 

[Paendragon]

He moved into the kitchen as she closed the door.

He turned toward her as she slipped into the kitchen. "Shona moved out from downstairs," she said, as she switched on the kettle. "I have a new tenant, now..."

he listened intently, taking every opportunity to drink in the sight of her, the sound of her voice.

"Tea or instant coffee? I got out of the habit of the freshly ground stuff..."

"Tea is fine," he answered. It's also something he would never have had before meeting her. And something he had kept on drinking after it had ended...

"So... do you want the tour... or..."

"Plenty of time for that," he whispered. "After the tea."

She removed the kettle, and poured two mugs.

"Let's have this in the lounge..."

He took the mug she offered, and tried in vain, again, to avoid watching the sway of her body while she walked in front of him.

Dammit, John... control yourself...

Luckily, all thought...well, almost all...fled when he saw the lounge. It was simple... elegant...and beautiful...

He was at a loss for words. Thankfully, she rescued him. She put her mug down on the glass coffee table and switched on two uplighters in opposite corners of the room before going to switch on the fire, causing the artificial flames to leap to life.

"Make yourself comfortable John..."

He did so, sitting in the opposite couch from her, and watching her make herself comfortable. he wanted more than anything to slid in next to her, and have her curl up against him. To wrap his arm around, her... to pull her towards him...

Changed a bit huh?" she said, snapping him from the train of thought. "My chill out room is next door now, where my bedroom was... and the bedroom’s upstairs on the top floor... I had builders totally redo that... like it...?

"It's... drastically different.... and somehow, even more you than how it was..."

He sipped his tea, watching her over the brim of his mug.

"You've changed even more than I would have imagined... I can't wait to see what you've done with the bedroom."

His eyed widened slightly when he realized the implication. Damn! When had his mouth decided to betray him!

"I mean... I didn't mean..." he sighed. "I didn't mean anything..."

He stood suddenly...looking down at her. "Maybe I should go..."

She seemed upset, for some reason, and looked up at him questioningly.

"It's not anything..." He shook his head. "I get around you, and words fly right out of my head... you're just so goddamned beautiful... even more than I remembered."

He looked at her, hard. "I'm trying my damndest, you understand? My damndest to be a gentleman. But for the first time in my life... I don't know if I can."

The words came out in a flood. He couldn't stop them if he tried. "From the moment I kissed you, earlier, I knew it. I just tried to deny it. I've never stopped wanting you, Anna." His voice caught, slightly. "Never.... never stopped loving you. And if I stay..." he laughed... "if I stay, I might end up making an even bigger ass out of myself as I have already. The only difference will be that I was a gentleman about it.

He looked down at her, and again wanted to kiss her. Hell, he wanted to do a lot more than that....

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

"It's... drastically different.... and somehow, even more you than how it was..."

Anna sipped at her tea and thought about his words.
How did he know what "she" was, what she had become?

"You've changed even more than I would have imagined... I can't wait to see what you've done with the bedroom."

Anna glanced at him, sharply.
She assumed he meant the "bedroom-now-converted-to-chill-out-room". Somehow that had become her haven, her refuge. She wasn't sure if she wanted him in there ... yet ...

"I mean... I didn't mean..."

Anna eyed him curiously realising that he was embarrassed by the "bedroom" referece ... so he had meant ...

"I didn't mean anything..."

She remained seated as he stood and placed his tea on the coffee table.

"Maybe I should go..."

This was so unlike the arrogant, self possessed John she knew.
She wished he would just ...

"It's not anything...
I get around you, and words fly right out of my head...
you're just so goddamned beautiful... even more than I remembered."

Anna blushed and stared hard at the mug in her hand, knowing he was staring at her.

"I'm trying my damndest, you understand?
My damndest to be a gentleman.
But for the first time in my life... I don't know if I can."

She tipped her head back and watched him silently.

"From the moment I kissed you, earlier, I knew it.
I just tried to deny it. I've never stopped wanting you, Anna.
Never.... never stopped loving you.."

Anna tried to drag her eyes away from his and couldn't.
This was not what she'd expected!
But it was so what she wanted to hear ... or was it?

And if I stay..."

His laugh was so sexy, it made her insides lurch with need.

"... if I stay, I might end up making an even bigger ass out of myself as I have already.
The only difference will be that I was a gentleman about it."

Anna sighed and put her almost empty mug down on the table.

"John ... I ... when we broke up ... it was just so ... so terrible ... all those arguments ... we were both hot headed ... perhaps we never really knew each other ... I don't know..."

She focused on the fire watching the dancing "flames" as she spoke in a whisper.

"I ... I loved you so much ... I still do ... probably always will ... but ... "

She shook her head and raised her eyes to his.

"This is about much more than whether or not to "spend the night".
I can't just jump into bed with you and then ... "

She shrugged and turned her head away, strangely close to tears.

"... if I did ... it would just tear me up all over again ... "

She ached for John to hold her, but if he did ...

"I want you to stay, John ... so much, but ... I don't want ... "

Anna raised her eyes to his, tears clearly brimming over.

"... I could so easily fall for you all over again ... "

Her heart shone in her eyes, before she turned away from him.

"But I can't ... can't let you hurt me like that again, John ..."

Her soft voice whispered brokenly as she wrapped her arms about herself almost curled into a ball on the sofa.
Her head was bowed, she refused to look at him, but John knew her well enough to know she was sobbing silently.

The damage was already done.
He had walked back into her life and now he was stood and ready to just walk out of it again.
It would alwasy be like that with him.

So ... why did she want him so much ... so much it scared her...?

 

[Paendragon]

John

He had done it again. Selfish declaration... never for once thinking about her. He hadn't changed a bit.

Now he stood there, watching her sob. And when she had looked at him... she felt the same way... it was obvious in so much more than her words. It was in her eyes.

And the last thing she had said, both made his heart leap, and plummet to new lows. "I want you to stay, John ... so much, but ... I don't want ... ... I could so easily fall for you all over again ... But I can't ... can't let you hurt me like that again, John ..."

Can't let you hurt me like that again. The words burned him. Burned his soul. So much pain there. So much hurt.

He fell to his knees before her, so as to be close to her, without making her feel like he was too close. Again, he ached to hold he... but he forced the thought away. This was not about him, any longer.

"Anna..."

He reached out to caress her cheek with his fingertips, and felt the moisture there.

"I'm sorry... damn, we are a mess, aren't we, you and I?"

He leaned forward so that her knees and feet were against his torso. It wasn't too comfortable for him, but again... this was no longer about him. he had fucked the situation up badly enough as it was.

"Hey..." he smiled, when she looked up at him. Their faces were only six inches away, but this was as close as he could get from his postition, which is why he chose it. She was in control. He hoped with all his heart, that it would help in someway... "I'm sorry. I was never very good at this sort of thing...."

He reached out with his other hand, and cupped her face in both his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "Even when I'm trying to be good, I fuck things up..."

His thumbs caressed agin, catching some more of her tears... "I'll make you a deal.... I'll stop being such an insensitive prick, if you stop crying." He had intended to lighten the mood with the statement, but his own voice caught in the middle of the statement, showing how upset he was at seeing her cry.

"Please..." His own anguish shown, strong, on his face.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

"Anna..."

His touch on her cheek was infinitely tender.
She looked up and saw him kneeling beside her.

"I'm sorry... damn, we are a mess, aren't we, you and I?"

She shook her head and whispered.

”No … I am … I seem to go to pieces around you … “

She tried to force a smile but didn’t quite carry it off.

"Hey..."

His smile tried to coax her to respond in kind.

"I'm sorry. I was never very good at this sort of thing...."

Anna looked over at him dazed as he cupped her face and began to wipe away her tears, smudging them away with his thumbs.

"Even when I'm trying to be good, I fuck things up..."

She smiled at that.
She knew he had been doing his best not to pressure her, force any issues.
He had been a perfect gentleman.
It was hardly his fault that she was still in love with him.

"I'll make you a deal.... I'll stop being such an insensitive prick, if you stop crying."

Anna looked at him sharply catching the tone of his voice.
She gazed at him, her tears momentarily checked.
John had been good at the “good stuff”, but the emotional end … he used to shy away from all that… and now here he was …

"Please..."

Anna reached out and drew her arms around John’s neck, leaning forward to rest her head against his.

”You didn’t fuck up John … how I feel about you scares me … I guess it always did … perhaps that’s why I was always on the defensive with you … I was pretty lousy to live with at that time I remember … “

She spoke as she remembered their final weeks.

”It’s been so long … we’re both so different now … but … “

She eased back and gestured for John to come and sit beside her.
Moving closer to him as he did so, she nudged at his arm, prompting him to wrap it round her.
She dropped her head on his shoulder and sighed as she curled up against him, wiping impatiently at the tears on her face.

”I never imagined what it would be like … if we ever met up again I mean … but … I didn’t expect it to be like this … I didn't expect to feel like this still … after so long … “

 

[Paendragon]

He was surprised, and pleased, when she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against the side of his face. Surprised, but pleased.

"You didn’t fuck up John … how I feel about you scares me … I guess it always did … perhaps that’s why I was always on the defensive with you … I was pretty lousy to live with at that time I remember … It’s been so long … we’re both so different now … but … "

She sat back, and gestured for him to sit beside of her, which he happily did, and she bumped his arm in that familiar way, causing him to wrap it around her trembling frame. She leaned in and placed her head on his shoulder, sighing.

"I never imagined what it would be like … if we ever met up again I mean … but … I didn’t expect it to be like this … I didn't expect to feel like this still … after so long … "

He looked down at the top of her head, and smiled slightly. "I know the feeling..."

He reached over to push a lock of her hair off of her face.

"You know why I went there tonight, to the club? Really? It was because of you."

He laughed. "Not directly, of course... I had no way of knowing you'd be there."

He leaned in to kiss the top of her forehead, just like he used to. "I had a very big day today. The rights to Rusted Stairways was sold to Mirimax, for more than I thought I'd ever see. And I had no one to celebrate with. There had been women since we ended our life together, but they never... they would never survive the comparison. Regardless of what happened, you're all I ever wanted Anna. And all I still do want."

He gestured. "I just figured that if I wanted companionship... I might as well go for the empty kind, tonight. I think that's why I was so angry that you, of all people, were there. You were a beacon showing me just how empty my life had become.'

He sighed, and rested his head against hers, and hugged her tightly to him. "I said it before, and i'll say it again. We are a mess, you and I..."

He chuckled lightly.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna

"I know the feeling..."

His voice was soft.
Anna knew that he too was finding it difficult to make sense of his own feelings.
The sensations of his arm around her, his hard body beneath her head, the gentle stroke of his fingers as he brushed the hair away from her face, it all seemed so achingly familiar. She had longed for John, more than he would ever know. Over and over again she had wished things had been different, but much as they had never stopped loving each other, it just hadn’t worked at the end and she had left before they tore each other to shreds.

How could she have so many regrets over something she knew she was right to do?
She sighed softly.

"You know why I went there tonight, to the club? Really? It was because of you."

Anna glanced up curiously and smiled as she heard John laugh.
Even that hadn’t changed. The deep rumble echoed in his chest.

"Not directly, of course... I had no way of knowing you'd be there."

Of course he hadn’t … so … ?
The kiss he dropped on her forehead made her heart race.
After all this time they just seemed to fall into the same casual intimacy they had always shared.

"I had a very big day today. The rights to Rusted Stairways was sold to Mirimax, for more than I thought I'd ever see.”

Anna’s ready congratulations remained on her lips.
But it seemed that John’s intention was not to boast about his success.
He continued without pause.

”… And I had no one to celebrate with.
There had been women since we ended our life together, but they never... they would never survive the comparison…”

Anna blushed. She too had had a few casual flings but … more recently hadn’t “dated” for months now.

”Regardless of what happened, you're all I ever wanted Anna. And all I still do want."”

The words hung in the air. She could feel her body shiver with an echoing need.

"I just figured that if I wanted companionship... I might as well go for the empty kind, tonight.
I think that's why I was so angry that you, of all people, were there. You were a beacon showing me just how empty my life had become.'

Anna struggled to catch up.
He was successful, rich … he could soon pick up any woman he wanted … but … that had never been John’s way.
If things were reversed and Anna were the star, she would not be able to replace John with force of will and money!

She felt his head against hers as he sighed.
He drew him tightly to himself in a secure hug.

"I said it before, and i'll say it again. We are a mess, you and I..."

Anna smiled as he chuckled and looked up at him.

”Yes … but you’re a “successful mess” … whilst I … “

Anna laughed at the thought of how different things were now.

”The big movie screen writer and the … “

She paused and decided not to complete the sentence.
She had intended to say “call girl” … but she had never been that!
She had always worked honestly and respectably … well within her definition of that maybe …

”Admit it though John … you were shocked to see me in that place …
You might be shocked by how much I’ve changed, you know.”

But then again, she would never in a million years have expected to see John in a gentleman’s club, despite the reason he had given.
Perhaps his … outlook … on many things had changed.

”I guess at best … we have a lot of catching up to do … but … “

Her voice faded to a broken whisper.

” … perhaps … it’s all too late for us now ..? “

Anna clung to him, wishing it could be different.

” I’ve never got over “us” … I don’t know if I’m brave enough to risk going there again… “

She raised her eyes to John’s.

And yet how could she not want to be with him?

Her words voiced her fears, but her eyes could not hide how much she still loved him …
It was impossible for her not to be drawn to him.
Anna tipped her head back and reached up into the kiss, just as John dipped his head allowing his lips to meet hers.

The kiss was soft, sweet.
Anna gasped breathlessly at the tenderness of the touch.

”God… John … “

She groaned and throwing her arms about him, leaned in to kiss him once more.
This time the kiss deepened in intensity.
John too gave a muffled moan as they lost themselves in the erotic embrace.

 

[Paendragon]

John MacLeod

He moaned against her lips, and slid his arm down around her waist. His lips forced hers apart, and his tongue slipped between, dancing with hers.

His other hand cupped the side of her face gently, his thumb caressing her cheek, trying to tilt her face enough to kiss her like he wanted to...

Finally, with a growl, he lifted her off the couch, and placed her sideways on his lap, so that her right side was preassed against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

His heart was pounding in his chest as she returned the kiss with equal passion.

His right hand slipped downward to settle on her stomach, and his left arm wrapped nearly completely around her tiny waist.

He broke the kiss only long enough to whisper her name, "Anna...." before kissing and nibbling her neck.... sliding his tongue upward across her delicate throat, over her chin, and along her bottom lip.

And yet, he still fought to control himself. He wanted nothing more than to tear her clothes from her one article at a time... to lick, suck, and caress every square inch of her body. To make her his again.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Anna Martin

Anna felt a bolt of desire course through her body as she heard John’s feral growl. She remembered of old how savage he could be when aroused and sensed that they were both heading rapidly towards that point where their needs became uncontrollable.

Laid across his lap now, the kisses continued, deep, searing kisses. Both it seemed shared a hunger so long repressed.
Her body jolted at the gentle touch of his hand at her waist.
John had big, skilled hands. They dwarfed hers and had always wrought an erotic path along the surface of her tiny frame. And now … she felt her body react tenfold the feeling of his fingers as they branded her flesh.

"Anna...."

Her mouth freed momentarily, she let out a soft moan responding helplessly to the hoarse repetition of her name.
A louder moan escaped her as she arched her back.
The sensation of his lapping tongue was driving her crazy!
He knew how sensitive she was there!
He knew how the slow drag of his hot wet tongue had always made her pant for him!

”God! …. John…!”

She cried out helplessly, need and desire making her words little more than a husky plea.

Her head tipped back now, as her blonde mane swung aside to expose her neck fully to him.
John ran his fingers through her hair, easing away the stray strands before lowering his mouth to feast on her fragile jaw line and porcelain skin, swirling his tongue about her oh-so-sensitive ear, increasing his attentions as Anna’s whimpers filled his senses.
Again the growl drawing a groan from her parched throat.
Her head spun dizzily.
No one had ever made Anna ache for them, the way she wanted … needed John!

His tongue was on her neck once more lapping… lapping….
With increased appetite … then sucking … until … his teeth grazed her skin ...

”Ahhhh!”

Anna’s sharp cries made John raise his head fractionally, pulling his growing desire into check as he searched her eyes as if to make sure that she wanted this, that she still wanted him as she had in the past.

Anna stared up, her expression dazed, but she knew what she was doing.
It had always been like this with them.
Their love making had always been wild … passionate … driven …
Never had she experienced such loss of control with a lover before … and there had been no one since …

”Anna…?”

John’s voice gasped out her name.
This time questioning.
She knew they were getting close to the point where they would be unable to pull back …
She met his gaze and took a steadying breath.
She saw the desire in his eyes as they raked along her body as it lay stretched out across his lap.
He ran his hand through her hair, traced a finger tenderly down her jaw and let his fingertips glide down her neck to trace the mark he had recently made there.

And all the while her eyes held his.

”Anna…!?”

He asked his voice almost tinged with desperate hunger for her.
A desperation she too shared.

”John … please … “

She pleaded softly, a hand raised to touch his cheek tenderly.

”I want you … I need you …!”