Animal olympics

[matriarch]

I am watching the most bizarre TV (television, Teen Ven, not you).

BBC TV, have taken a whole host of animals, representative of each group........insects, birds, mammals, reptiles.....using computer generation, and special effects, they have brought each entrant (stick with me), up to comparative human size, and are now illustrating just how incredible are the physical abilities of each one.

They are presenting the whole programme, as a real sports meet, with a cyber stadium, equipment, with recognised sports commentators.

A maggot that can pole vault over 25 metres (without a pole).

American cockroach, Australian spider beetle, Collared beetle running the 100 metres in around 1 second. Faster than the cheetah, faster than the road runner.....talking about speeds of 500 mph !!!!

Get the picture??

Bizarre, but fascinating.

Hey, we're Brits. We're known for being eccentric.

(Oh my, weight lifting. What a surprise, elephant representing the mammals, rhino beetle for insect, eagle for birds, great white shark for fish, crocodile for reptiles).

Mat (lover of the unusual)

 

[doormouse]

They showed that here the other night.

It looked brilliant.

Alas, it clashed timeslots with Aussie Idol

 

[Dream Keeper]

Ooooo. That's so neat. I have to download it!

 

[cloudy]

Showing that here, too....on Animal Planet. Don't think it airs, though, until next week. I'll have to catch it.

 

[matriarch]

Oh for heaven's sake...........the salmon representing the fish in the high jump!!

We've all seen the way they jump when fighting back upstream, equivalently he (he? Come on Mat, its a fish !!) jumped 10 metres, not quite clearing the bar eek: ), and lands on " a special splash mat"

Who the hell wrote this script ???

And who gave out the tickets for the spectators.....????What a collection.

Oh, the salmon's second jump clears over 11 metres, lying second behind the Fruit Fly Larva !!!!!!!!!!

(I do not believe I am writing this. I need a drink!)

Mat

 

[matriarch]

They showed that here the other night.

It looked brilliant.

Alas, it clashed timeslots with Aussie Idol

 

[doormouse]

Have they showed the frill neck lizard doing the 100 metre dash yet?

It looked cute on the ads LOL

 

[Guest]

I would love to see this (except for the pole vaulting maggot). Thanks, Mats.

Perdita

 

[matriarch]

I would love to see this (except for the pole vaulting maggot). Thanks, Mats.

Perdita

You wouldn't enjoy the shooting.......believe me!!

Just to mention that none of the competitors are using external equipment..........everything they are shooting is coming out of their bodies............eeeeuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Oh, and right now, we have the spectators doing a Mexican wave (just for you)......the insects are waving sections of leaves like flags

And the flea would have won the pole vault by miles - literally - except he can't control the direction, so it missed the bar, but soared the equivalent of 622 metres upwards!!!

Long jump: Kangaroo versus Grasshopper versus mud skipper.
Grasshopper, 3 times as far as the kangaroo.

(Commentary may continue later. I still need that drink.)

Mat (rapidly leaving reality behind)

 

[matriarch]

*laughing my ass off*.........

quote of the programme........."One giant leap for frogkind". The frog outjumped the pit, and landed on the track.

Judges allowed it.

Oh god, Mat! Listen to yourself woman. You're losing it !!!!

*drumming my fingers on my lips as I become a jibbering idiot*.

 

[doormouse]

Hey, maybe Og's turtles might put in a good show

Oh wait.. maybe that's the literotica olympics

 

[gothgodess]

The funniest thing I've seen for ages. I thought the insects would win though.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Oh, my... at first, I thought the title said "Anal olympics"..!

 

[Just-Legal]

Mat - I saw some but went out for a drink *laughs* I have a chilled bottle of Smirnoff Blue if you'd like a little.

Or a lot...