Angels still fall

[Poganin]

OOC: This is a sad story of a rebellious angel who sacrificed his wings for a mortal woman. I thank Maid of Marvels for agreeing to join and play the role of the woman he so loved. I hope you who will stick with us will enjoy reading. Thank you

* * *

I woke up just before dawn, cramped and hurting all over from the hard planks of the bench I slept on. A few benches down the platform I could hear a drunkard snore. I couldn’t remember the dream that woke me… Was it the memory of the glorious gates of the Kingdom? Or was it the shining face of my persecutor, Abdiel, who smote me in his self-righteous fury for my transgressions? Or was it the memory of Malachi, my teacher, mentor and dear friend who tended to my wounds? Or was it the gentle look of Fidelis, my pet dragon, when I left home never to return? It could have been any of those or maybe all of them at the same time. The images from Kingdom still persecuted me down here, in Creation, where I sought shelter from the wrath of those who believe I am still alive. I can see that glory everywhere, I find it surrounding me, my each step brings me to realise that the work of Creation is still in progress. New ideas are forming to astound mortals and celestials alike. I am one of the few allowed to notice it and spend time pondering the miracle that is life, a miracle to be found only in this one corner of the vast expanse that is Creation, a miracle that makes this beautiful planet unique.

I wasn’t given the privilege of participating in the Plan, the Work, no songs of mine joined in the Choir of Creation. I was created much later, spawned from the thoughts of omni-angel Metatron and ordained to be the angel of youth, giver and protector of youth. My name is Afriel and I am an angel that walks the Earth, fulfilling my ancient duty and hiding from those who would lynch me for my transgressions. Apart from governing youthful energies I was also endowed with endless compassion, second only to that of the Lord my Creator. Because of this I have stepped on toes of guardian angels a multitude of times, bestowing my blessing of energy upon those who were ready to attend the Judgement call. For that I was tried and sentenced to imprisonment, but my pride and belief in my duty would not allow me to accept the sentence meekly and I lashed at my prosecutors, thus bringing upon me the wrath of Abdiel. And now I was here, bruised and battered, sleeping on benches in parks and stations. Alone and unseen among the sons and daughters of Adam I so love. Unnoticed by all but those of deep faith and conviction.

It was at that dawn that the girl with a teddy bear approached me on my bench and stood there, sad dark eyes looking at me from her heart-shaped face. Amazing, but I couldn’t remember her at all, I was sure we haven’t met. And how come she could see me? Surely this child could not possess that amount of faith. And yet she was looking at me, her face strangely familiar, as if I had seen her in my past, but completely unknown to me.

“Has someone hurt you? Do you need help?” I asked but she only shook her head.

“You shouldn’t be here, child,” I said, making my voice soft and gentle. “Are you lost? Do you know where you live? Shall I take you home?”

“I have no home.” Was her answer, her big, dark eyes boring into me.

“Surely your mother and father must be worried. Do you want me to help you find them?”

She shook her head and spoke, “You are my father.”

I was shocked! Not only did this girl see me and recognise me but she also claimed me to be her parent. It was my turn to shake my head and with a smile I answered, “I can’t be your father, child. See? Those are wings, I am an angel. I can’t have children. Even such pretty girls as yourself.”

Tears streamed from her big eyes and down her cheeks.

“You don’t believe me. I came to you all this way, daddy, and you don’t believe me… But it’s true. I’m not lying!”

She was standing before me, tears on her cheeks, sadness in her eyes and I was filled with confusion. I couldn’t recognise her, there was no possibility for me to be her father. I had no way of being with a mortal woman.

“Be careful, daddy, ok? I’ll come visit you again. Just trust me, ok?” she said and turned to leave, a faint smile on her lips, her teddy bear hugged tightly to her breast and I couldn’t stop her as she disappeared in the crowd that had somehow appeared on the platform.

I sat there, looking somewhere into a distance that no human mind could fathom. I searched the expanses of my memory, as vast as the farthest reaches of universe, looking for a face that resembled the girl’s. I found one, and struck with realisation I got up, reaching in the direction the child went only to see the empty platform, with the train gone. And in the distance I could hear a hurried clip-clap of heels on the staircase. Someone was late for the departed train. Just like I was late in realising.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

She sat quietly at the table sipping her coffee and doodling in one of her omnipresent sketch pads. She always started her day early, often before dawn, doing little 'around the studio' things before taking full advantage of the sunlight hours to paint. Her evenings were reserved for throwing pottery. Not literally of course -- she had her own wheel and a cushy thing going with a dealer downtown who sold her things on consignment. As for her watercolors, there was a gallery in Soho that did the same.

Eve Chapel was an artist and she did what artists do best: dream and create. Her latest works reflected that -- bits and snatches of dreams she'd been having for the past few months. Otherworldly things. Almost mystical, in a way. She didn't understand what it all meant, but painted them anyway. There was, however, a common theme -- the face. No matter the setting, the face remained the same.

Eve sensed she'd been dreaming "him" for longer than she was aware. Maybe he was someone she had seen. Someone she knew from long ago. From her childhood maybe. A face in the subway. A stranger in the bookstore. Eve didn't know. But try as she might, she could never seem to hold on to him once she woke. The memories from the dreaming were there for a just a moment in time and just as they began to gel and she was certain that she'd gotten a hold of one, they would slip away like a wisp of smoke.

This morning was one of those times. And so she sat, doodling in one of her omnipresent sketch pads, hoping to capture a waking glimmer of her dream.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I had followed that girl back then because I was amazed by her determination. I still am, actually. But back then I admired her decision to go and search for her father in the middle of winter.

It was late January and I was standing in the middle of a park, astounded by the intricacies and imagination of Angels of Winter who were constantly inventing new snowflakes. I stood, observing the white swirl and warming a cat that sought shelter under my wings and smiling at each snowflake that landed on my face, caressing me with that one bit of Celestial Glory I could feel directly. We angels feel on many layers, not being limited to three-dimensional perception, and so each white hexagon that I saw was not only a shape, but also a sound, a whisper of an angel who created it, an explosion of colours, an amazing net of atomic and sub-atomic weave. I stood, awed by the beauty of this world so few mortals and celestials actually noticed, and tears of immense joy shined in my eyes, my heart full of love for everything that existed. I extended my hand to the small, shivering kitten and warmed him with my touch, smiling at the small animal and stroking his soft, grey fur. Exactly the same colour as my hair and wings, I noticed then -- blue-grey, just like steel. So uncommon even among the lowest orders of angels, my pride and my bane, now shedding feathers as usual in the middle of winter.

Then I saw her, hugging her arms to herself as she was slowly picking her way through the knee-deep snow. A small girl, twelve years and seventeen days of age, her name was Eve, just like the mother of all mankind, and I remembered her very well, she was a very energetic child. I smiled to myself seeing her, I had been very generous in bestowing my blessing upon her, I had felt like it back then, twelve years and seventeen days ago. She looked like a wet pigeon in her clothes slightly too big for her, walking slowly and carefully, raising her knees high. I pitied her, so pale with cold, so late in the night, deliberately picking her way through a dangerous area of the city, searching for her father because her mother went into early labour. I decided to follow her, hiding the kitten beneath my tunic, and I walked a few paces behind, watching the prints she was making in the fresh, fluffy snow, so colourful, so harmonious in its chant of winter. I worried about her, it was late and she was alone, yet her determination to find her father and help her mother were propelling her onward. I was worried because I couldn’t see her guardian angel who should have been by her side all the time.

We left the park and followed a street south to a bar where her father was watching a game of soccer with his companions, completely unaware that his beloved wife was about to give birth to their second child. A man stood in Eve’s way and I regarded him curiously: Samuel his name was, a complete failure despite many talents bestowed upon him at his conception. I was sorry for him, he could have become a famous scientist or a talented violinist but he wasted his time drinking cheap alcohol and chasing skirts. Now he was down on his luck and a mugger with no conscience. I shivered in fear for little Eve, hoping she wouldn’t fall prey to him but my hopes were left to wither as he bumped into her and grabbed her jacket, ordering her to give him all her money. I looked around, still no sign of her or even his guardian angel. Then I noticed both and anger rose in me in fiery jolts that burned my muscles. They were sitting upon a lamppost, playing dice, not caring for the fate of people below; and Samuel was shaking the poor girl left and right like a maniac, overcome by some strange fury. Eve screamed for help, cried in terror and I heard the angels laugh out loud. The kitten meowed on my breast and I decided to take action, even though I would trespass on another’s domain.

I manifested myself, donning my apocalyptic form like a tailored garment in a blinding flash of holy light, my glorious power melting the snow all around, shaking the earth. Using my anger in the face of the obvious injustice as driving force I breezed by the lamppost, scorching it, and grabbed Samuel by his jacket on the breast, searing his clothes and burning his beard. “You will leave the girl alone, twisted mortal!,” I roared in his face, my mouth a hellish furnace of celestial fury. “And abandon your wicked ways!” I let the drooling man fall to the earth and realising what I had just done I slipped back to my regular form and towering over the girl I said, “Go, child of Adam, your way shall be safe now. Forget about this incident. Hurry!” I made the sign of the Cross on her forehead, making her forget, driving this unpleasant event into the back of her mind and she was on her way. Now I had only two shaken angels to deal with…

Today, crouching on the top of a tall building and looking down at the multitudes of men walking below, I compared the face of Eve with that of the lonely girl with teddy bear who visited me at the station and called me her father. She had the same small chin and big eyes Eve had had back then when she was twelve years and seventeen days old. I covered myself with my wings, confused about my Lord the Creator’s plans.

Why?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Eve looked at the grandmother clock as it chimed nine. Hours had passed, filled with disruption after disruption. Phone calls. Neighbors stopping to chat. Tele-marketers! The Avon lady for crying out loud. Did no one have any respect? You'd think they'd know she worked early and treasured her quiet time.

Thoroughly frustrated, Eve began to clean her brushes at the same moment that that bane of her existence -- the telephone -- rang again. "Argh! Isn't anyone else in the world at home today?" she groused, wiping her hands and picking up the receiver. "Hello."

Nothing.

"Hello?"

Still no reply.

"Well, it's been nice. Won't talk to you soon." Eve hung up the phone and rubbed her temples. She needed out. Her head was pounding and her nerves were as brittle as slivers of glass.

Maybe she'd go to the park. There was a spot there near the lake where'd she'd hung out as a child. She'd stopped going when she was -- when had she stopped going? Better yet -- why had she stopped? A flicker of an indistinct and obscure memory hovered, tickled and quickly darted away.

"Odonata," Eve grumbled, grabbing her backpack and heading for the door. "I'm worse than a dragonfly. At least their memories are good for as long as they live. And I bet they don't talk to themselves, either."






OOC: Lifespan of a dragonfly is approximately twenty four hours.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I decided to go to that spot again, the place where I had abused my power yet again, usurping God’s right to wrath. I glided slowly to land near a fountain, in the meantime observing humans walking below, hurrying home, to work, to their lovers… busying themselves with their daily toil. And I knew the names of all of them for at one point in their pasts we had met for a brief while for me to breathe my gift into their bodies. I have known all sons and daughters of Adam throughout the ages of their violent history and I smiled at each and every one of them, loving them and caring for them almost as a parent.

Parent… why did that girl call me her daddy? Was she real or part of the dream that woke me up this morning? Time would probably tell but I found it hard to believe in God’s plan, the great puzzle only He knew how to complete. Was I a crucial piece then? No, banish such prideful thoughts from your heart, Afriel! You are what God had you be: His messenger, and you have your duty.

My feet touched the green grass and I stood awed by the beauty of this place, green all around with trees, flowers and lakes. For a short moment all doubt was gone from my heart when confronted by what could have been a piece of Eden, lost to humankind eons ago. I sat down, treasuring this moment of Lord’s grace, burning this image in my mind to recall later. Somehow I was enveloped in peace with the faint melodic hum of rainbow gushing from the fountain, birds dancing their songs among trees and children prancing about. It seemed as if all pain and suffering were forgotten in this spot.

A family of cats approached me carefully, nudging my fingers with their pink noses and I recognised the tomcat as a descendant of that small grey kitten which had warmed himself under my wings on that fateful night. A wide smile lit my features and I played with the animals for a while that was a few hours, stroking their furs, watching them chase butterflies and their own tails, wrestle with one another and kittens crawling all over their lazy parents. People would stop and watch from time to time, laughing at the cats that became lively in my presence.

I bid them farewell and took a stroll, basking in the light of peace and joy and thought about Eve and the little girl. It made me wonder. What had become of her, that scared, yet courageous little Eve? I blinked in shock, for the first time I actually thought about a mortal with nostalgia. Why had such a thought come to me? Was it because I felt so lonely down here in Creation? Eve was of the few people who actually had seen me for what I really was, even though I had hidden that memory deep in her heart. Could it be that I actually yearned for contact with someone when other angels would no longer speak to me?

“I saw you play with them kittens, bright sir…” a voice called behind me and I turned, noticing an elderly lady, Emily, looking at me with a mixture of awe and curiosity.

“You see me, Emily?” I asked in surprise.

“I do,” she answered, now I noticed that her faith shone very bright and very strong. “And I gather from this that it is time for me to pack, no?” she asked with a peaceful smile.

I leaned over her, tears of unspeakable joy glistening on my radiant face. This couldn’t have happened in a better moment. I embraced her, covering us both with my extended wings and I read her life: she had been happily married for fifty years to a man who was good and caring, they had children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was a woman of faith and duty.

“No,” I said to her. “Not for a while yet, no.” And I kissed her soft, wrinkled cheek, giving her some more energy to carry on in this best of worlds.

I let Emliy go and she left me without a word and all doubt and uncertainty were banished from my heart in this short while. I would seek Eve out and see how she fares… Maybe then the mystery of the little girl would be solved.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Eve wandered the paths for a while, finally getting her bearings and coming out on the lake. There was something unsettling about being here after all this time, a soupçon of a supressed memory tingled at her eerily. A bit like the dreams she'd been having. There but not there. Persistent yet fleeting.

She had already quashed the notion that her dreams had anything to do with supernatural phenomena. Was she schizophrenic? Maybe she should see a shrink? Hmm... perhaps an organic brain disfunction. Alzheimer's? Any of those would be simpler explanations than she'd been able to come up with herself.

Opening her bag, she pulled out the sketchpad and flipped it open to a fresh page. Closing her eyes, she let the pencil wander over the paper undirected. Perhaps it would bring out bits of her subconscious, she thought. All these bouts of forgetfulness -- or whatever -- were beginning to wear thin.

She didn't know how much time had passed when she finally opened her eyes and looked down at the pad. It wasn't blank anymore. Far from it. Intermingled with the doodlings there were faces. Faces of people she hadn't thought about in a very long while. The images were blurred, much like her memory seemed to be. Still, she recognized them. And, of course, the omnipresent face from her dreams was there as well.

Eve stared at the page, tracing her fingers over what appeared to be a cast of players in the miniseries of her life. The fact that the face from her dreams was among them didn't bother her as much as the presence of the other faces. Faces from her old life -- the one she had chosen to forget. And until now, very nearly had.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I was resolved to begin my search for Eve, the sense of purpose prodding my invention to work on the many possibilities spreading before me on this new path I have chosen for myself, or have I? Again my thoughts flew towards the girl with the teddy bear and I couldn’t help pondering what was God’s point in doing this. I know, His ways are not for me to know. There where angels who had questioned Him and He told them, “If you would know as I know, come unto Me and see as I see.” Some took the Lord up on His offer and were never heard from again. I had no reason to doubt His sight, He was doing what He thought was right for all of Creation and if it meant starting another line of the nephilim*… so be it. Cast out or not, I was still an instrument of God’s will.

All of my search possibilities began in the Kingdom, it was the only place I could locate Eve from in a matter of seconds. There were two problems however: first – I was an escapee and any angel that recognised me would gladly rip my grey wings off, deprive me of my holy radiance and drag my mutilated carcass in the streets as a warning; second – I’d have to knock real hard to be let in and such knocking would probably blow a piece of the Kingdom into nothingness, thus again drawing attention to me. Alas, returning to Heaven was no option. Perhaps I should start asking among guardian angels if they knew where Gimel, Eve’s guardian angel, currently resided? It was an idea as good as any but it required an angel that had nothing to at the moment and finding such a one was harder than it seemed.

It was a beginning though and getting a running start I spread my wings to fly in search of bored angels when suddenly I felt the most powerful of tugs grasp at my innermost being, making me stumble and twist my leg painfully. Someone in the park evoked my True Name and I could do nothing else but obey the call, follow it to whomever dared call upon me in this most important of all moments in my existence. This didn’t happen almost at all, evocation of our True Names, because mortals simply had no way of knowing them and we guarded them jealously even from our Celestial brothers and sisters so that no one abuses our power. Who could have the power and knowledge to call upon me, I knew not, but very soon I would get to know it and apply painful punishment.

I soared just over the grass in the direction I was being pulled and in my wake a strong gust of wind followed, scaring people and making animals cower. Birds flew away with wild shrieks, mortals hugged their arms to themselves and children looked curiously around. There she was, sitting next to the lake, seemingly lost in thought, oblivious to the fury directed at her. I stopped and walked around, my eyes burning with boiling wrath, I wanted to see her face before I punished her for such careless behaviour. We were told to love humans just like we loved Him but there were things not to be forgiven, and mindless evocations were one of them.

She looked behind her just as I was about to look into her face and my gaze slid to the sketchpad she held in her hand. There, among doodles and faces I saw my own visage drawn with such detail it seemed almost real, my own grey pencil-drawn eyes boring into my grey eyes. Who was this woman who not only saw me without my recalling it but remembered my face enough to draw it in such detail. Certainly I would remember. Then she turned back and instantly I recognised her.

“Eve!” I whispered and my whisper made daisies bloom all around.





*Nephilim – a race of giants born from relationships of angels and mortal women.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Startled, Eve looked up from her sketchpad. She could swear she'd heard someone call her name, yet there was no one about. "You're losing it for sure now, girlfriend," she chided.

Thinking that she might get some work done after all, Eve took one last look at the page that was open in her lap. There was enough fodder here to keep her in therapy for the rest of her life -- and longer. She had made a subconscious decision somewhere along the way to make some inquiries and find herself a good shrink. One that wouldn't think she was crazy, Eve chuckled. The crazy ones never did think they were, did they... Erm... Do I?

As she reached for her bag, a shock of white caught her eye. Eve looked, then blinked as another and yet another popped into view. Daisies! And what in the world? They were sprouting almost magically in the clearing where she sat. If she'd eaten out, she'd have been convinced that someone had put a hallucinogen in her food. But she hadn't.

Oh, this was too weird for words. It scared her, yet at the same time it didn't -- and that made it all the more strange. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would have said. But this wasn't a fairy tale and she wasn't Alice.

Stuffing the sketchpad into her bag, Eve slung it over her shoulder before pulling her crutches out from under the bench. She took one last look around -- almost expecting the flowers to have disappeared -- which, of course, they had not, slipped into the arm-straps and braced herself to stand.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

Such power! Such incredible dormant power in this frail mortal body! Unconscious power to summon an angel and possibly bind him to her. This was yet another marvel of this world and this single human being who called me to herself when I was about to go and look for her. From our past meeting I knew Eve to be full of determination and inner strength but not so as to make me obey her call, even unconscious. My anger then must have manifested more than my apocalyptic form, either I have revealed my true nature or Eve had a gift of seeing things for what they really were, disregarding the weave of presuppositions human mind creates. Back then, in winter she must have seen my true nature and she still unconsciously remembered me, my face looming somewhere on the border of her memory. But to connect the face with the true nature so as to perform an evocation?! And in just the right moment! Verily, Lord’s will leads us all. But what was His plan, I wondered…

I watched as Eve put the sketchpad back into her bag and pulled a pair of crutches from below the bench. I tilted my head in astonishment seeing this and as she walked away I noticed that her leg seemed to be bad. One more drop in the ever-growing ocean of human pain and suffering. Free will brought about the worst calamities mortals could come up with… but it also brought about the best. Guardian angels were to silently guide and protect their wards but looking around I could not notice Gimel, Eve’s guardian angel whom I had had a wee (I simply love this expression) talk with.

Then it struck me! From the moment the little girl had come to me at the train station I could no longer see or sense the presence of angels! I could see their workings but could not see the authors themselves. I was in shock! For the first time in my existence I was truly scared, afraid of my role and destiny. Unsure of my Lord’s plans. Suddenly I felt very small, unimportant and alone. Where once I could feel the presence of my brethren now was a scary void grabbing at the edges of my soul and threatening to pull me somewhere deep and dark. In this moment I thought I was worse than the Fallen Ones – denied the presence of God in their Hell, forever wallowing in the torment of Absence of Everything. But at least they had each other’s bleak company… I was alone… But at least I could still sense Lord’s gaze upon me. As long as I could feel that I would never be alone. Have faith, Afriel. We are all in the hands of God, we have nothing to be scared of… Was that my own thought or was it the Lord’s reassurance? Both probably, after all we were the agents of His will.

Having found, or actually having been found by, Eve I decided to follow her. See how she lived, what she did for living, whom she met and where she ate. I wanted to know everything about this curious girl… no, she was a woman now. How many years had passed since that fateful night? Just a while for me but the world of mortals had been moving on. I hugged myself with my left wing and extended the right around Eve, walking beside her. I noticed I was beginning to shed feathers again.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Eve stopped to buy some prosciutto and a loaf of Italian bread at Sporocco's on the way home. Frankie was as solicitous as always, offering a ride home even though he knew she'd refuse. It was just something they did. He offered, she refused. It was his way of gauging how Eve was really feeling and hers of reassuring him that she was okay.

Today, however, Frankie was a little more persistent than usual and that bothered her. She hadn't thought how she felt showed that much -- or at least had hoped it didn't. Truth, she was tired, but not in the physical sense. Eve was weary in spirit. The sketch she'd done in the park had brought back memories -- some clear, some vague. Like images in clouds, they were there for a moment and quickly drifted away.

"Prosciutto and melon with a nice glass of chianti will do me wonders," she told Frankie, placing her groceries in her bag before leaving the salumeria. That, and the fact that there was still sun left sort of lifted her mood. Perhaps she'd do some painting today after all. As for the rest -- she'd worry about that tomorrow.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Later that afternoon, Eve sat at the kitchen table pondering her nonordinary reality while she ate her dinner. She'd done some painting after her sojourn by the lake, though nothing that she'd felt was especially remarkable. Tomorrow would be more productive -- and there was something to look forward to as well.

There had been a message on her machine from Jack Tremper at the gallery that handled some of her work. He wanted to know if she had enough pieces to put together a show. He wanted to feature her work. It was too good to just display one or two at a time. Besides, he said, there were going to be some critics in town and some big buyers as well.

His gallery wasn't big, but who could refuse an evening flowing with free champagne, hors d'oeuvres and a chance to look at some brilliant new work by an unknown. Everybody, he added, would want to be able to say that they were the "one who discovered" Eve Chapel.

Did she have enough pieces! Eve chuckled as she looked around her loft. There were paintings everywhere she looked. Propped. Leaning. Standing. Hanging. All she had to do was choose the best -- or at least her favorites. Jack said he'd come over to take a look for himself. Oh, he'd added at the end of the message, he'd like to show some of her pottery as well.

Setting her plate in the sink, Eve poured another glass of chianti and sat back down, opening the sketchbook she'd drawn in that afternoon. A feather fluttered to the floor as she turned the pages and she leaned over to pick it up. "Now where in the world did that come from?"

Park. Lake. Birds. Feathers.

"Doesn't take a brain surgeon, Eve," she said to herself with a chuckle. "Sheesh."

She set it down and turned her concentration back to the page she'd drawn on. The faces seemed to jump out at her as she examined them. Her mother and her sister. She barely remembered her mother. And her sister -- well, she hadn't seen Kathleen since the state took her away when she was three. Right after she'd gotten...

Eve never was able to remember all of what happened that night. It was cold -- wintertime. Snowing. She did remember that she had been running from... something. Someone? More than one? She had to find her father. Her mother said she had to. The baby was coming. Early. The car had come out of nowhere. A flash under a streetlamp.

Her eyes lidded, Eve scrutinized the face of the man she'd drawn. She hadn't even thought about him in years. Her father. Last she'd heard, he was still alive but living in the bowery somewhere with the rest of the drunks. Bastard! If it weren't for him...

Enough! Eve slammed the pad closed and pushed it aside. Despite the after-effects of the accident when she was twelve, she didn't have a bad life and she resented his intrusion into it -- even if it was just because he ended up as a pencil sketch on piece of paper.

"A bubble bath, a good book and my bed. That's what I need!" And that's just what she did.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I walked by Eve's side as she was leaving the park and strolled back home. It was a wonder that she would stroll rather than go by bus or taxi, I assumed that limping slightly and supporting herself on crutches must have been taxing and yet as she walked she showed no sign of weariness caused by any possible strain her ailment could have been a source to. I had the means of reading her like a book, a mere touch would have laid her soul bare for me to peer into and search for anything I wanted. And yet I didn't do that and I wondered what was stopping me. In a way I respected the privacy of Eve's mind, shutting her thoughts away, I could not force myself to eavesdrop on her like that. Weird, never before had I experienced such constraint -- it was just as if my own nature barred me access to Eve's feelings and memories. I could feel the surge of passions, broodings, despair and sadness all around me but could not sense... would not sense anything from Eve. Why?

With curiosity I watched her exchange pleasantries with Frankie and marvelled at their multi-layered coversation, speaking one thing but meaning another. It was very much like the language of angels -- speaking in gusts of wind, the sound of growing grass and colours of a waltz. It was incredible! How come I have never paid any attention to the complexity of human nature? Was it because I was forced to be in many places at the same time, fulfilling my divine duty? Was it because I lacked time or because I thought it irrelevant? After all, the lifespan of a human being was so incredibly short. One moment I was kissing an infants forehead and another I chance upon the funeral of that very same person... It just wasn't worth the effort, I think. Paying attention to them. I was so lost in my duty that I disregarded all that made this world and humanity worth the whole effort...

I wondered why such thoughts resonated within my being. I couldn't recall ever having similar doubts. The girl at the station and now Eve... the two of them made it all so confusing.

So lost was I in my ponderings that I almost missed her leave the shop and smiling at the kind Frankie, who's care for Eve had begun radiating the moment she had entered, I hurried after her, watching as she nimbly arranged the bag and her crutches and walked onward. I followed her all the way to the building that must have been her home, making sure to stand a little to the side so she wouldn't catch my reflection in the window of the front door. Smiling I wave at her and patted a passing elderly gentleman's back in delight. He straightened and looked around in astonishment as his day suddenly became brighter and merrier.

So this was where she lived. I could have walked with her but again that urge to respect her privacy overcame me, binding me to the pavement. It would have been unthinkable... Those feelings were unfamiliar to me...

Just then I was the girl with the teddy bear in the crowd, a wide smile on her face as she waved at me and turned to go away.

"Stop! Who are you?" I cried after her and started to chase her but again she disappeared among the passers-by.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Eve woke early as she always did, the wispy, feather memories of the mysterious man who haunted her dreaming time tickling at her consciousness as she came fully awake. "No. Not today, boyo! I have things people do and things to see."

Setting up the coffeepot, Eve dressed while waiting for it to finish brewing. Her breakfast was simple -- a soft-boiled egg, a slice of toast and a glass of orange juice. She was a creature of habit and rarely altered her morning routine, believing that whatever happened first thing always seemed to set the pace for the rest of the day.

Today would be only slightly different. Rather than painting or sketching, Eve would make a list of the pieces she thought were her best for the showing. Looking for a common theme, she realized that all of them -- in one way or another -- reflected something of her dreams. Well, she could hope no shrinks showed and wanted to analyze her.

By nine o'clock she was ready and the steady beeping of the taxi downstairs signalled its arrival. Today was special, Eve thought with a chuckle. Famous or infamous -- whichever she'd be after Jack's show -- she deserved the rarely opted for treat of taking a cab.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I had lost her in the crowd, there was no way for me to know what was her role in my existence or what had given her the right to claim that I was her sire. The little girl was as much a puzzle to me as was the plan of my Father. One thing was clear though, I thought as I lay on the hard bench, counting the feathers grey that fell from my wings, she was linked to Eve, that Eve who had seen me truly and subconsciously managed to dig the image of my visage from the depths of her mind where I had buried it. I had to follow this trail if I was to know what was to come of it all.

The following morning I woke up with a start, thinking I could hear Fidelis whine but it was only the sound of an incoming train coming from down the tunnel. Sighing, I watched people gather to enter the cars and passing among them I sought out those tired and disillusioned and granted the some of the power that had been given to me at the moment of my creation. I left the station, deciding to seek out Eve and try to determine the course of further action.

I had to walk, my wings felt strangely weak and the feathers seemed unkempt even though I tended to them regularly. It was good to walk from time to time, being closer to Earth and among its inhabitants. I could rarely afford such pleasure.

As I neared her house I noticed her getting into a taxi and moving off. I followed at a quick pace and finally saw her enter what seemed like a gallery of some sort. I never had the time to stop and actually watch human art. Oh, the works in the Kingdom were familiar to me but human art was nothing compared to it. And yet it was different and answered to different criteria. There was no possible way to compare the two.

It was now or never. I covered my angelic form by donning an illusory image of a trenchcoat in case there was someone inside strong in fate enough to notice me and pushed the door open. I entered the domain of sons and daughters of Adam... and Eve.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

"I'll stop by this afternoon to pick up your work if... " Jack looked past Eve, obviously addressing someone behind her. "Good morning! If you'll give me a moment, I'll be right with you. Or Susan over there can assist you if you prefer?"

"I'm just... browsing. Thank you."

There was something about the man's voice that made the little hairs on the back of Eve's neck stand on end. She knew that voice. She didn't know why, but she knew it. Turning her head slightly, she couldn't resist looking as she heard his footsteps move away.

He was tall -- taller than most men -- and his hair was long. He moved with a liquid grace almost as if he was floating, an unseen breeze causing his trench coat to billow out behind him as he crossed the gallery floor. His face. She wanted to see his face!

"Who is he? Do you know?" she asked Jack under her breath.

"He is delicious, isn't he?" he replied with a wicked leer and a naughty chuckle.

"Jack." Eve rolled her eyes. "I was merely curious. His voice was... distinctive."

"Ahh... I see. Distinctive. Well, let's go find out just who he is, shall we?"

Jack tugged at Eve's arm and try as she might, she couldn't hold her ground. If she pulled back, she was sure to land flat on her ass and that would be far more embarrassing than almost anything else he could manage to pull from his hat. "Jack. Behave," she growled through clenched teeth.

"Excuse me. Sir?" Jack called out just a little too brightly.

"Yes?"

She couldn't bring herself to look up when she heard his footsteps echoing across the marble floor as they met him halfway. "I'd like to introduce you to a brilliant artist. Our next show will feature her works. May I introduce... Eve. Eve Chapel. And you are?"

Eve found herself holding her breath as she waited for his response. Damn that Jack anyhow!

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

"I'm just... browsing. Thank you," I answered to the man's call, looking for the right words to express myself correctly. I was caught unawares, I had been hoping to observe Eve unnoticed but she was right there, standing with her back to me and talking to the man, Jack, who must have been the owner of this gallery. I hoped I hadn't drawn her attention to myself and tried to concentrate on actually looking at the displayed paintings which failed to impress me, however. To impress one who had once beheld the true glory of the Kingdom and could perceive the deep reality of Creation, art was nothing to be amazed at. Only single pieces appealed to me and they were few and far between. And my reason for being here wasn't really the need to indulge in art criticism. I was contemplating a peculiar composition of colourful geometrical forms which seemed to be have been arranged with no sense of real purpose behind them when Jack called me once again.

"Excuse me. Sir?" he said loudly.

"Yes?" I answered, turning to him and taking a few steps which brought me closer to him. Eve wasn't looking in my direction even though she was standing just next to him. Had I been a creature of flesh, I think my heart would have been pounding hard right now because I felt tense. This moment, I knew it, was of great import in the big plan, whatever it was. As an angel, I only felt a strange elation and an excited buzz of my celestial energies.

"I'd like to introduce you to a brilliant artist. Our next show will feature her works. May I introduce... Eve. Eve Chapel. And you are?"

"You may call me Afriel," I answered. "And I would be delighted to see your works, Miss Chapel," I addressed her directly, eagerly anticipating the moment she finally speaks to me. I hoped that with this meeting the confusing web of secrets would start to unfold before me. Finally I was close to stepping on the path to this particular knowledge and Eve, the key to this mystery was but a few feet away from me.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Eve felt the flush of embarrassment spread over her face as she finally raised her eyes to look at the man who was addressing her. Afriel, he'd said. Unusual... yet there was something alluring about the sound of it. Something vaguely comforting.

She turned to give Jack a glare as he elbowed her back to attention. His eyes were an odd shade of bluish gray that made her think of steel, though not the coldness of a blade -- rather the powerful warmth of one -- as they seemed to bore deeply into her very soul. Be careful, Eve, she admonished herself. You could easily drown in eyes like his.

Blinking to break the connection, at least for herself, Eve finally extended a trembling hand which he accepted graciously. His touch was light and yet firm at the same time. She shivered as if from a chill, though it was more than that. It was more like a surge of electricity that spread through her. Did he feel it, too?

Eve laughed nervously, feeling that somehow time had stalled and that they had been standing there hand in hand for what seemed like hours instead of the few seconds that had actually elapsed. Afriel smiled then, in a way acknowledging what she had thought she only imagined.

Damn it all. She was really losing it. Of that Eve had no doubt. It had been too long since she'd seen or even thought of a man in ways that she was attracted to this one. He is a stranger, she reminded herself. But was he really? He seemed so... familiar. Eve knew she'd never see him again after today and somehow that saddened her, but Eve also knew it was merely another of the chimerical tangents that she'd been going off on lately.

" ...espresso, wine, sparkling water? Something stronger? Eve? Eve! Are you all right?" Jack's voice. His hand gripping her arm. Shaking her. But it was Afriel's quiet "Perhaps she should sit," that filtered hazily into her mind, like dust motes floating lazily through a ray of sunshine. Eve blinked, looking around in confusion.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

I was not ready to touch Eve just yet and the sudden greeting with a handshake took me by surprise and before I knew it I was holding her hand in mine, directing some of my energies there to make it seem solid matter and not merely wisps of fog-like, ethereal flesh. It was... new, as if that handshake made a bridge between two races that lived next to each other but never really interacted. It was like a greeting of two equals and not superior and inferior beings. Never had I touched a human being like this, it was always to pass on the divine spark.

With this touch I was astounded by the completeness of human and at that moment I envied Eve all that she was and all that she had. I had no flesh and no free will, it was an existence of servitude. She had all that was ever denied to us angels from the dawn of time. Oh, how I wished to be given the opportunity to don human flesh and feel and revel in all those things humans enjoyed on daily basis!

Still holding hands we looked into each other's eyes and I though I saw a faint glint of recognition. Did she really remember? But if she did she would have somehow reacted, I assumed. It was hypnotic, looking at her, standing so close to her, feeling the warmth of Life in my hand. It was too much for me and Eve too seemed entranced by this meeting.

I helped Jack ease her down and saw her confusion. Confusion that matched my elation. I felt a bit guilty about stalking her like this, not revealing myself and not coming to her openly. I hoped I wouldn't regret this in the future.

"It was very nice to meet the both of you. I have to go now. Eve, I will come to see the exhibition of your works. Perhaps we can talk then," I said politely and bowed goodbye.

I don't remember how I got back to the station and found my bench there. All I know is that the first step had indeed been made and it was all right. Somehow, out of the corner of my eye I could see the girl with the teddy bear nodding and smiling. And she relly looked like Eve more and more with just one minor difference -- she had my eyes.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Jack had driven me home, picking and choosing the pieces he felt would do best in the show -- of course he had nothing to lose and everything to gain if all went well. The next few days were a blur of preparation, readying the canvasses for transport. Despite the fact that the gallery wasn't very far, neither of us were willing to take the off-chance of an accident damaging anything along the way. Most accidents happened close to home as folks often said.

The dreams had been less frequent -- almost nil -- though I put that off to my being busier than usual. And they didn't seem to haunt me as they had done previously. Also, I thought, because I was so busy. Even so... There was still something nagging in the back of my head as I dressed for opening night. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

A knock at the door heralded my escort for the evening. "Come in!" I called out and turned to see whom Jack had sent. "Jack!"

He grinned sheepishly as he spun around to display his tux. I had to admit he looked dashing -- too bad I wasn't his type. "I thought you were going to send someone else?"

"Yeah. I was going to, but I thought the loveliest woman and the brightest star of the evening should arrive in style -- with the loveliest man." He chuckled and gave me a wink. "Ready? Your carriage awaits, Milady."

I let him help me with a diaphanous, rainbow-hued shawl that I thought would be light enough for the hot summer night and elegant enough to add a little class to the plain black dress I was wearing. "All set, Princess Charming" I grinned, slipping my arms into my crutches and passing through the door ahead of him.

"Do I look okay? Gods, I hope everything goes right for once," I chattered as he led me downstairs. My eyes flew wide at the site of a limo double-parked in front of the building. "Jack? A limo??"

"Nothing but the best, dear one. It's all up from here."

The chauffeur opened the door, and both men waited for me to settle in before we began our journey downtown. In truth, I felt like Cinderella -- I just hoped that nothing was going to turn back at the stroke of midnight.

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

The next few days I had spent observing the gallery Eve was supposed to hold her exposition at. I watched people go in and out, change decorations inside and outside, posters appeared in windows with information the the works of Eve Chapel would be presented to the public in the days to follow with an opening banquet. I had promised I would come and see her works and I was going to keep that promise for my own sake too. With the first step taken I had to take another but this time I would have to be careful in my conduct lest I fall into another reverie. Not once in my existence among humans I had experienced such reveire as the one a few days ago when I had met Eve in person. Was that the moment that set it all in motion or was it the one all those years ago, in winter?

When the day finally came I couldn't deny experiencing a certain feeling of apprehension, or was it fear, the feeling so familiar to the sons of Adam and completely unknow to me. I realised that something had been changing inside me for some time, the paths of my thoughts, previously unerring, now became twisted and convoluted, loss and confusion gripping me too often for me to like it and not not notice that something had gone awry somewhere. Was this a warning of some sort or just my Lord's plan coming to fruition?

Standing in front of the gallery and watching people inside through the window I sensed Eve approaching. A light wind was sending ripples through the weakening feathers of my wings and a shiver passed through my being. Excitement? Turning, I saw a limousine pull up to the kerb and the driver helped the people inside get out. It was Eve and Jack, both looking very elegant but I sensed that Eve lacked confidence. She was chatting with Jack, watching the entrance and the posters in the windows but seemed to be hesitating. I rounded the car, unseen by anyone and putting a hand on her shoulder I leaned in to her ear and whispered unheard words of enouragement, passing on some strength to help her on only to realise that I had almost forgotten how to do this!

Helplessly I watched them go inside and then glanced at my hands in bewilderment. I could still sense my power there but somwhow the knowledge to pass it on was almost lost to me. Did this mean that I was to vacate my eternal post? Has my Creator found another to fill in and take my duties over? What was I to do now? Questions ran through my being and more than ever before I felt alone and abandoned.

I hugged myself and neared the gallery window once more, peeking inside, observing, learning.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Jack announced our arrival at the gallery with his usual sense of panache, generating a little more than a flutter of applause as a waiter suddenly appeared bearing two flutes of champagne on an ornate silver tray. Not used to having so much attention focussed on myself, I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and tried to hide it behind the glass as I took the first sip.

"You're a hit, Eve. Watch and see. A little birdie told me that Bob Hughes and Grace Glueck are gonna show." Jack whispered conspiratorially into my ear, giggling madly as my mouth fell open in shock.

"How did you? What did you? Who did you... " I was dumbfounded. Those names were legendary among art critics -- the one for "Time" magazine and the other for "The NY Times". I suddenly felt as if I were going to be violently ill. They would hate my work. I just knew they would.

"Maybe you could call and cancel... " I began and stopped just as suddenly as a feeling of warmth and comfort seemed to wrap itself around me. You're brilliant, Eve Chapel. Your work is superb. You're going to take the Village by storm...

Looking around to see who had spoken, I found myself staring into his eyes. Those eyes. I had the feeling that I knew him but at the same time... Who? Embarrassed, I wracked my brain trying to remember and then I had it!! Afriel. That's what he had said his name was. I had almost forgotten all about him, but seeing him again...

"You came! I didn't think... " Oh, brother. One glass of champagne and you're losing it. Better switch to coffee or something before both of your feet fit in that big yap of yours, Eve Chapel, I admonished myself. "I... I'm glad you could find the time."

 

[Poganin]

Afriel

"All I have is time," I replied to Eve's greeting and I could see, even though she tried to hide it from me, that she was glad to see me. She probably didn't even know why. She didn't remember even though deep inside her mind was working to reinstate the memory I had repressed in her. My face appearing in her paintings was proof enough. "Besides, I said I would come to see your works. They are... interesting."

She quirked an eyebrow at me, either in disbelief or because I used such crude words to describe her art. She was apprehensive enough about her paintings and how they would be received without my limited knowledge and interest in art altogether.

"I am sorry," I said. "I did not mean to make it sound like that. Human art is not something I am overly familiar with to discuss it. Hail and well met, Jack," I nodded to the gallery owner whom I just noticed standing next to Eve. Ffrom the moment I had entered this place where the Adamites had gathered my eyes were fixed on Eve, I paid little attention to anyone else. He nodded back at me, cautiously, noticing that my attire did not suit the occasion. Of course, the illusory trenchcoat stood out in the sea of suits, tuxedoes and evening dresses.

"Eve, there is someone who desperately wants to meet you," Jack said to Eve. "I'm sorry, it's a big event, it's so busy." With an apology he lead her away into the crowd so I returned to studying the paintings. I could not deny feeling awkward in this gathering but humans seemed to keep to themselves, standing in small groups, sipping champagne and talking. I cut myself away from them, from time to time glancing at Eve, studying her and smiling reassuringly whenever she looked in my direction.

I noticed that I was standing in front of one of the paintings that featured my face, painted as usual with such detail it was breathtakingly real, almost like a mirror. But if Eve had remembered me the way I was portrated in her art, it seemed that either she had truly pierced the terrible veils of my celestial form and saw my true self. Perhaps that was the reason she had been capable of performing the evocation wiht a mere drawing.

"Interesting piece, isn't it?" a woman, Gina, noticed and pointed at the painting I was watching too with a hand holding a tall glass of champagne. As I gave her no answer she continued. "Do you like it too?"

"I do not know," I replied truthfully and she found it amusing for she chuckled, covering her mouth. "I am interested in Miss Chapel's art."

"But surely you must either like it or dislike it."

"Not at all. This is a matter of curiosity rather than preference."

"I see. And what is it that you are so curious about?"

"The face reappearing in several works."

"Ah, so you have noticed it as well. It is somehow unsettling, I must admit," Gina said and glanced at another painting.

"Of course. This is a face of an angel."