Naked Hunny
Postwoman
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 3,260
---------
Last edited:
And people wonder why i need a shrink
- Thread starter Naked Hunny
- Start date
CreamyLady
Uncompromising Visionary
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2000
- Posts
- 2,685
Take a deep breath, get yourself a glass of milk -- soothing to the nerves and stomach -- and don't panic.
You don't say how far along you are, but chances are you still have a little time to think things through carefully. Talk to your doctor, or a counselor at Planned Parenthood about your options, and don't allow yourself to be pressured by anyone.
It doesn't sound as if you can count on your ex-fiance for anything but grief, and I'd just forget his phone number. You have yourself, your daughter, and this little widget to think of.
Do not rush into anything, and take good care of yourself and your daughter. No, being an adult isn't easy, and more often than not realizing one is an adult comes AFTER the baby, not before. It doesn't help, does it?
Panicking never helps, unless it is the modified stationary panic -- running in a circle and shouting for three minutes, and then sitting down and thinking. You do have time to make plans and organize yourself, and if you want to talk, you can email me. I'll listen.
You don't say how far along you are, but chances are you still have a little time to think things through carefully. Talk to your doctor, or a counselor at Planned Parenthood about your options, and don't allow yourself to be pressured by anyone.
It doesn't sound as if you can count on your ex-fiance for anything but grief, and I'd just forget his phone number. You have yourself, your daughter, and this little widget to think of.
Do not rush into anything, and take good care of yourself and your daughter. No, being an adult isn't easy, and more often than not realizing one is an adult comes AFTER the baby, not before. It doesn't help, does it?
Panicking never helps, unless it is the modified stationary panic -- running in a circle and shouting for three minutes, and then sitting down and thinking. You do have time to make plans and organize yourself, and if you want to talk, you can email me. I'll listen.
Cheyenne
Ms. Smarty Pantsless
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2000
- Posts
- 59,553
Please don't have an abortion just because you don't think you can afford to take care of another child. If it is HIS child, he is financially responsible, too. The law is on your side, use it.
I don't know how far along your pregancy is, but there are lots of options for you. You've already got one child, so you know what the road ahead is like. A question to help you think: if you had it all to do over again and you could go back to before your first child was born, would you abort him/her? What about adoption?
In another thread, Blue said "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." It strikes me that this could also apply to an abortion.
And before anyone flames me, I do believe it is Hunny's choice. But choice means looking at all the options, not just one.
Edit: I agree with the Planned Parenthood suggestions. You really need to study all options and not be pushed into a decision you can't live with in the future.
[Edited by Cheyenne on 08-06-2000 at 12:08 PM]
I don't know how far along your pregancy is, but there are lots of options for you. You've already got one child, so you know what the road ahead is like. A question to help you think: if you had it all to do over again and you could go back to before your first child was born, would you abort him/her? What about adoption?
In another thread, Blue said "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." It strikes me that this could also apply to an abortion.
And before anyone flames me, I do believe it is Hunny's choice. But choice means looking at all the options, not just one.
Edit: I agree with the Planned Parenthood suggestions. You really need to study all options and not be pushed into a decision you can't live with in the future.
[Edited by Cheyenne on 08-06-2000 at 12:08 PM]
Bonnie Wee Lassie
Sweet Beaver
- Joined
- Dec 13, 1999
- Posts
- 1,442
I know how you feel. I was in the same postion 6 years ago and it took alot of soul searching but I finally decided to keep my baby. Now I have already had an abortion when I was 16 years old so I knew what the outcome of every option was. It wasn't all roses but she is 6 now and my other is nine and I am a single mom. You have to make the decision for yourself and live with it no matter what it is. I agree with CreamyLady you should seek out help from Planned Parenthood. Don't do this alone there are many places that can help you every step of the way what ever your decision may be.
Bonnie
Heh if you need someone to talk to you can get me on ICQ or email me. Your not alone.
Bonnie
Heh if you need someone to talk to you can get me on ICQ or email me. Your not alone.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
Huggles to Hunny
Cheyenne is very very right Hunny love. There are many avenues you can take, okay, so there's only 3. You can take and raise the baby yourself, of course, abortion *shudder*, or adoption. My neighbor has three children, she adopted out the middle on when he was born because she simply could not afford to take care of him. She misses him, she is still in contact with the family, and gets pictures. She doesn't regret it, he has a good mother and father (her words). There are lots of families looking for babies because they can't have one of their own. Look in the classifieds of the paper or type in adoption on your search engine. If you find yourself heading towards an abortion clinic, do yourself a tremendous favor and talk to some women who've had an abortion. I have done so. Some think of it as nothing more than birth control, but most of the ones I've spoken with wish they could go back and not do it. There is a reason they have support groups for that. Planned Parenthood is a good resource, and they can help you. Of course, the choice is yours, not anyone else's. No matter what you choose, I will support you. I'm not much, way over here on a BB, with less than *embarrased flush* 100 posts, but I am here.
Cheyenne is very very right Hunny love. There are many avenues you can take, okay, so there's only 3. You can take and raise the baby yourself, of course, abortion *shudder*, or adoption. My neighbor has three children, she adopted out the middle on when he was born because she simply could not afford to take care of him. She misses him, she is still in contact with the family, and gets pictures. She doesn't regret it, he has a good mother and father (her words). There are lots of families looking for babies because they can't have one of their own. Look in the classifieds of the paper or type in adoption on your search engine. If you find yourself heading towards an abortion clinic, do yourself a tremendous favor and talk to some women who've had an abortion. I have done so. Some think of it as nothing more than birth control, but most of the ones I've spoken with wish they could go back and not do it. There is a reason they have support groups for that. Planned Parenthood is a good resource, and they can help you. Of course, the choice is yours, not anyone else's. No matter what you choose, I will support you. I'm not much, way over here on a BB, with less than *embarrased flush* 100 posts, but I am here.
CreamyLady
Uncompromising Visionary
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2000
- Posts
- 2,685
Cheyenne said:
Truer words were never spoken. I don't know how many times I've had heated discussions with people who think Pro Choice means, "Oh, I woke up pregnant so I'm going to have an abortion."
Katerina Val-Kyrie
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 16, 1999
- Posts
- 707
Abortion
Is the most difficult decision you will ever have to make Hunny. I have had to make that choice, I am saddened to say. I have been married for 20 years now and have only been with one man in my entire life time. I still had to make this choice, with my own husband. We have had trying times over the course of our lives together, it has not always been easy. During the time I got pregnant, times were really tough between us. I had to make a choice. I knew he was not happy with the pregnancy and it was so very confusing.
Never in a million years could I have seen myself doing this. I was always against abortion, but I have come to believe differently now. You have to be able to handle what you already have in your life. I was at my wits end, trying to do the right thing. I had to think of the children I had, and I had to think of my sanity. Would it be fair to bring a child into a marriage with problems? Would it be fair to the child, if I had a nervous breakdown and could not care for he/she once born? So many questions went flowing through my head, and no answers except one.
I think it takes great courage to make the right decision, and I only hope you find the courage to make yours. I still love myself, regardless of my choice. I made the choice on my own and I am not sorry for the outcome. I do not reflect on my experience as a bad thing. It was a part of my life and I have learned from it.
I wanted to save my marriage, and enjoy the children I had and be the best mom I could be for them. I think my biggest fear was if my marriage did not work, would I be able to handle 3 children on my own. I am very stressful at the best of times and have alot to work through, regarding anger issues. Being abused in my younger years has made me a very emotional parent, I am sad to say and I am not proud of it. Maybe I was not strong enough, I can never undo the choice I made. So, just take alot of thought and soul searching and make the right choice for you. I just know, I had to make this decision, so I understand your feelings very well. I do wish you the best.
Hugs Katerina
[Edited by Katerina on 08-06-2000 at 12:31 PM]
Is the most difficult decision you will ever have to make Hunny. I have had to make that choice, I am saddened to say. I have been married for 20 years now and have only been with one man in my entire life time. I still had to make this choice, with my own husband. We have had trying times over the course of our lives together, it has not always been easy. During the time I got pregnant, times were really tough between us. I had to make a choice. I knew he was not happy with the pregnancy and it was so very confusing.
Never in a million years could I have seen myself doing this. I was always against abortion, but I have come to believe differently now. You have to be able to handle what you already have in your life. I was at my wits end, trying to do the right thing. I had to think of the children I had, and I had to think of my sanity. Would it be fair to bring a child into a marriage with problems? Would it be fair to the child, if I had a nervous breakdown and could not care for he/she once born? So many questions went flowing through my head, and no answers except one.
I think it takes great courage to make the right decision, and I only hope you find the courage to make yours. I still love myself, regardless of my choice. I made the choice on my own and I am not sorry for the outcome. I do not reflect on my experience as a bad thing. It was a part of my life and I have learned from it.
I wanted to save my marriage, and enjoy the children I had and be the best mom I could be for them. I think my biggest fear was if my marriage did not work, would I be able to handle 3 children on my own. I am very stressful at the best of times and have alot to work through, regarding anger issues. Being abused in my younger years has made me a very emotional parent, I am sad to say and I am not proud of it. Maybe I was not strong enough, I can never undo the choice I made. So, just take alot of thought and soul searching and make the right choice for you. I just know, I had to make this decision, so I understand your feelings very well. I do wish you the best.
Hugs Katerina
[Edited by Katerina on 08-06-2000 at 12:31 PM]
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 3,260
-------------
Last edited:
CreamyLady
Uncompromising Visionary
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2000
- Posts
- 2,685
Anyone who beats up on you is not a person you want in your life at all. You might want to start thinking of him as Sperm Donor.
Just take your time and make the best decision for you and your daughter right now. Really, the people at Planned Parenthood are very good, and it would a good place to go.
Whatever you decide, use this time to do some consolidating in the growing up process. I, too, am a single mom; my husband and I split when my daughter was 13 months old. It is a rough road, but a very satisfying one. Give yourself a few breaks, and just work on growing and being as happy as you can.
Just take your time and make the best decision for you and your daughter right now. Really, the people at Planned Parenthood are very good, and it would a good place to go.
Whatever you decide, use this time to do some consolidating in the growing up process. I, too, am a single mom; my husband and I split when my daughter was 13 months old. It is a rough road, but a very satisfying one. Give yourself a few breaks, and just work on growing and being as happy as you can.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
Creamy Lady has good advice. In my family (yes they are hypocritical bastards every one of em) Planned Parenthood is the Enemy. Bah. They are a good resource, they help women and that is not a bad thing at all. Life is difficult, but it's the struggles that make happiness the sweeter.
Hey Hunny,
I feel for you, I had to make the same dission 4 years ago. The guy I was dating was happy but sitting in jail, my family was upset and I was confussed. My sons father then figured he wasn't the father and bailed on me. My friends told me I wasn't ready to be a mom and that I should have an aborion, and my family said put him up for addoption.
I needed to decide for myself what was right. Where I was financialy, emotionally.
I have always felt that it is up to the woman to make her own dissions about pregnancy since it is her body. I knew I could not handle the abortion emotionaly, so I didn't do that. I was a hard dission to make between adoption or keeping him. I knew financialy at the time I would have a hard time, but could I give up my son.
In the end I kept him. It has been hard, and I have gone without stuff for myself in the beginning, but it has gotten easier.
The dission is your Hunny, go with what your heart says. There are alot of options out there and very good impartal people to talk to.
Take care Hunny.
I feel for you, I had to make the same dission 4 years ago. The guy I was dating was happy but sitting in jail, my family was upset and I was confussed. My sons father then figured he wasn't the father and bailed on me. My friends told me I wasn't ready to be a mom and that I should have an aborion, and my family said put him up for addoption.
I needed to decide for myself what was right. Where I was financialy, emotionally.
I have always felt that it is up to the woman to make her own dissions about pregnancy since it is her body. I knew I could not handle the abortion emotionaly, so I didn't do that. I was a hard dission to make between adoption or keeping him. I knew financialy at the time I would have a hard time, but could I give up my son.
In the end I kept him. It has been hard, and I have gone without stuff for myself in the beginning, but it has gotten easier.
The dission is your Hunny, go with what your heart says. There are alot of options out there and very good impartal people to talk to.
Take care Hunny.
I don't want to come down on anybody when they're already confused and hurting. I realize mistakes get made, and accidents happen, and birth control can fail. But if any of you didn't want a child/another child or didn't think you could count on your man, why weren't you more careful?
I'm pro choice, and I realize it is every woman's individual decision to decide if she wants to have the baby or not, but I hate to see abortion used as birth control. Multiple abortions are HARD on you, both emotionally and physically.
I have a friend who got pregnant because the pill failed...I realize things like this happen, but you all seem like intelligent, educated women here...
Maybe it's just me, but if you don't trust the guy, why are you having sex with him, and if you do become pregant when it could have been prevented if you didn't WANT to become pregnant, then, I'm sorry to be blunt, but you can't entirely blame the situation on the guy.
Flame away, but that's how I feel.
I'm pro choice, and I realize it is every woman's individual decision to decide if she wants to have the baby or not, but I hate to see abortion used as birth control. Multiple abortions are HARD on you, both emotionally and physically.
I have a friend who got pregnant because the pill failed...I realize things like this happen, but you all seem like intelligent, educated women here...
Maybe it's just me, but if you don't trust the guy, why are you having sex with him, and if you do become pregant when it could have been prevented if you didn't WANT to become pregnant, then, I'm sorry to be blunt, but you can't entirely blame the situation on the guy.
Flame away, but that's how I feel.
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 3,260
Hmm how to approach this??
------
------
Last edited:
NH, I am probably the last person you need advice from, but I think you should track the bastard down and use the law to 1) be responsible for the child, whether you decide to have it, abort it, keep it, or place it for adoption. Either way, he has obligations to you and the child. And 2) Make him pay for his abuse. There are laws for that as well. At a minimum he belongs in jail for hitting you.
Whispersecret
Clandestine Sex-pressionist
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2000
- Posts
- 3,089
I truly feel for NH and her horrible situation. I hope things work out for her. OBviously her circumstances are unusual. Luckily there has already been a wealth of good advice for her here. The Literotica community is hard at work!
That said, let me also say that the following is not directed at her in particular, but to the public in general.
I have to say that I had the same thoughts that Patryn did. In this day and age, it is hard for me to understand why there are so many accidental pregnancies. Especially REPEAT accidental pregnancies.
Yeah, I know, this is WS on the moralistic soapbox again. You oughta be used to it by now. <winks>
These aren't the Pre-Margaret Sanger days. It's easy to get birth control. The Pill is 98% (or something like that) effective. If you can't remember to take the damn thing everyday, then there are shots and implants, right?
It takes two people to have sex. That's two people who have the capability of taking responsibility for birth control and/or the STD issue. You'd think at least ONE of them would follow through on something as important as preventing a pregnacy or staving off the clap or AIDS. So what's the problem?
The fact is that no one is 100% infallible when it comes to being able to tell who is trustworthy and who isn't. The only person you can trust is yourself. (In theory, anyway.)
So don't take any chances. If I were out in the dating world, I'd be on the pill AND be insisting on condoms.
Like Patryn, I await the flames behind my fire-retardant computer screen.
[Edited by whispersecret on 08-06-2000 at 04:52 PM]
That said, let me also say that the following is not directed at her in particular, but to the public in general.
I have to say that I had the same thoughts that Patryn did. In this day and age, it is hard for me to understand why there are so many accidental pregnancies. Especially REPEAT accidental pregnancies.
Yeah, I know, this is WS on the moralistic soapbox again. You oughta be used to it by now. <winks>
These aren't the Pre-Margaret Sanger days. It's easy to get birth control. The Pill is 98% (or something like that) effective. If you can't remember to take the damn thing everyday, then there are shots and implants, right?
It takes two people to have sex. That's two people who have the capability of taking responsibility for birth control and/or the STD issue. You'd think at least ONE of them would follow through on something as important as preventing a pregnacy or staving off the clap or AIDS. So what's the problem?
The fact is that no one is 100% infallible when it comes to being able to tell who is trustworthy and who isn't. The only person you can trust is yourself. (In theory, anyway.)
So don't take any chances. If I were out in the dating world, I'd be on the pill AND be insisting on condoms.
Like Patryn, I await the flames behind my fire-retardant computer screen.
[Edited by whispersecret on 08-06-2000 at 04:52 PM]
Skitten
Sir's toy
- Joined
- Dec 30, 1999
- Posts
- 1,453
Please don't do anything rash don't make any kind of decision until you are thinking with a clear head. This is a big decision and one that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. I will not in any way tell you what to do, but I do recommend that you talk with your doctor and maybe a councelor of some sort. Friends that you know you can count on. True that there are many families out there who would be happy to have a baby. As for you ex-fiance I wouldn't count on him for helping you in anyway he pretty much made his unwillingness to help you out. So this is something that you must do on your own. Whether you have an abortion or keep the baby or give it up for adoption is a very hard and difficult decision. Make sure that you will be able to live with it and don't by any means
let anyone influence your decision this has to be totally yours. If you need to talk or anything you can e-mail me anytime. Good luck to you and try to take care your daughter needs you and the little one you are carrying so try to relax and go with your heart.
let anyone influence your decision this has to be totally yours. If you need to talk or anything you can e-mail me anytime. Good luck to you and try to take care your daughter needs you and the little one you are carrying so try to relax and go with your heart.
Naked Hunny
Postwoman
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 3,260
Yes im bringing back my own thread but oh well!!
-----
-----
Last edited:
Gingersnap
Stoopid
- Joined
- May 14, 2000
- Posts
- 1,286
Naked Hunny whatever you decide to do I hope you follow your heart and although I do not know you well I will support you any way I can. I send good thoughts your way and pray you find the answer.
Bonnie Wee Lassie
Sweet Beaver
- Joined
- Dec 13, 1999
- Posts
- 1,442
Hunny just wanted to keep in touch. I hope things are a bit better today. You have been in my thought and prayers.
Bonnie
Bonnie
