Anal

[Guest]

My husband wants to try anal sex. (I think I do too) but I am afraid it will hurt. I like it when he rims? me and when he uses his finger, but I tense up so much that penile penetration is difficult or painful. Any ideas would be appreciated.

 

[Guest]

One of the most important things to remember is to NOT tense up. When you tense up, your anal muscles tighten. That could cause extra pain. Take things slowly. Use lots of lube. Since you enjoy being rimmed and having fingers in you, start there. Work your way up to more than one finger (or a small anal vibe). After time you should be able to take your husband anally. Good luck. If you have any more questions, post back.

~Dr Tiggs~
http://www.freebackgrounds.com/kit12.gif

 

[Whit00EK]

A matter of trust

My dear Want....

It is also a matter of trust. Look deeply into your own feelings for your husband. Do you really love/trust him? Can you honestly totally relax with him? If you can, then Tiggs' advice is sound. Slowly, slowly, slowly, my dear. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, to be gained through haste. A loving application of several fingers, one at a time over a long period of time, with all the loving attention in the world from your partner, will make a world of difference for you.

Ed

 

[denuchi]

Whit00ek is absolutely right, TAKE IT SLOW , one finger, then two, slowly. And most important ENJOY it, my fiance does!!!

Denuchi

 

[KillerMuffin]

Get some analeze too. You can get it at most porn shops or heck, even this site has a shop you can get it at. In addition to relaxing this has a topical anesthetic in it so the pain is deadened and it feels better.

 

[Whit00EK]

Oh, please, no.....

Muffin....

The only difficulty with using lubricants which contain any topical anesthetics, is that the inserted member is also thereby anesthetized and loses some of its feeling. Gentlenes and trust beat out the anesthetic-type lubes.

But Wanto will have to make her own decision about these things in the near future. I do hope she keeps us informed as to how things develop for her and husband.

Edward

 

[denuchi]

There is some lube called Wet it doesn't have anything in it and is water soluable. It's kinda expensive(in Canada)but does work well.

My fiance(Lynnibop) said to say that she knows how you feel, she was scared at first but with time and patience you will love it she does and so do I!!!!!

 

[Guest]

I've mentioned over in the General board that Analeze isn't the best choice in lube. Pain is a reminder that hey, something's wrong here! When you numb part of your body, you'll have no idea if the man is being gentle enough with you. Your anal area could rip, tear, and bleed and you wouldn't even know it. Not to mention, being numb you may not experience the pleasures of anal sex since you can't feel anything!!!!

 

[Whit00EK]

Once again Tiggs, the goddess of all that is truly worthwhile in life, has come through with the definitive post on this matter. I bow to her incredible insight and wisdom. Long live the goddess.....

Hi, Tiggs...long time, no talk.

Edward

 

[DriveSouth]

Hi.......

Edward, it is truley good to see you back.....

I for one missed ya, mail me....

 

[Guest]

Hi, Tiggs...long time, no talk.

Hee hee hee... Hiya hon. Welcome back.

 

[Auschick]

*Wrinkles nose*My husband wont go anywhwre NEAR my arse end.
Something to do with bowel movements an such.He's really quite the prude when it comes to sex.
*Lightbulb goes on*
I think i just answered my own question.
And my piece of advice?
Use anal play in your solitary masturbation.
Being on your own,you can take your time and explore.
Enjoy.

 

[Guest]

Back again with an update. Thanks for all the advise. We have progressed to a medium sized vibrator and used astroglide as lube. It was tense at first but after I relaxed it got much better. No O's yet but no pain either. I like the vibrator left in during vaginal intercourse, big O's! Thanks again, will keep you posted.

 

[Whit00EK]

A note for Wanto & hubby

It is soooo very nice to hear that at least SOMEONE is having some success these days. Relax and enjoy the new-found connections.

Edward

 

[denuchi]

For sure, Tiggs is exactly right enjoy!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

The anticipation of the pain causes me to tense up. The use of the topical anesthetic numbs the area enough for me to realize it isn't going to hurt. Yes, it does numb the man as well, but if he is simply going on how his penis feels inside what he is fucking, he's going to hurt someone invariably. The considerate man uses his brain, not his prick to figure out when his lover is enjoying something or in pain. At anyrate, the benzocaine wears off in a rather short amount of time, comparatively.

However, whatever works for you the best.

 

[Guest]

The considerate man uses his brain, not his prick to figure out when his lover is enjoying something or in pain.

I agree 100%! That's why it's good to go slowly too. Also, the spoons position is an excellent way for the woman to have control of the situation. The first time I "successfully" had anal sex, it was in the spoons position. Two other times (by two different men) before that, anal was attempted doggy style. It stopped FAST!

 

[Whit00EK]

Muffin, dear....

Somehow, reading between your lovely lines, I sense a nasty "put-down" with regard to my remarks about deadening the area.....

I do apologize if I led you to believe that I am one of those men who thinks with my prick......never could anything be farther from reality.

I was simply noting that if done correctly, lovingly and cautiously, there need not be any real pain.....and I, too, find the spoons position to be the most satisfying position for initial encounters of this kind. If the act is to become a regular part of a couple's love-making, other positions do appear now and then and they need not be accompanied by the pain you mention. If, after several such encounters, there is still pain, someone is doing something wrong.

Please withold your judgment of us who have made an attempt to answer a valid question with as much honesty as is possible.

Edward

 

[Hunter953]

good for the gander

The first woman I embarked on this kind of journey with also had some trouble with tensing up. To add to some of what's already been said, the pace was the problem: and it was my pace that was a pain. Even with a generous amount of Astroglide, I was having a hard time judging what was good and what was too much(partially because she only wanted to start trying while she was on all fours and couldn't see her face clearly). She finally got a little frustrated, and said "see how you like it!" I figured, heck, if I'm going to have one of us do it, why shouldn't I be expected to play the same game. Let me tell you guys, you get a whole new perspecting when someone's trying to fit a few fingers inside YOUR ass. Eventually, I learned to like it as much as she did...

There's not much advice in there I guess, other than have patience, take it easy, and do, please pay attention to how the other person is feeling.

 

[Tiger9]

i'm with you hunter.. fingers,etc feel GREAT up ones ass!! Give it a try.. makes o's better too!!

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Not as expected

Well, I finaly did it, but certainly not the way I excpected it to happen. My office X-mas party was last night and as my husband was away on business I went with my co-worker/best friend Gail and her husband Tom. (Gail and I tell each other everything so I had confided in her and learned that she and Tom often enjoyed anal sex, especially during her period. We had also switched partners once after a pool party last summer.)
This year several branches of the bank I work at had a joint party at the hotel adjacent to our branch. I don't often drink alcohol, but since I wasn't driving I had a few glasses of wine, which always make me horny. I love to dance and there was a very good band playing so I danced with most of my male co-workers several times. I could feel a couple of them, including Tom and my boss Bill, getting hard during the slow close numbers, and I was getting very turned on.
As the party was about to shut down several people from other branches who had rooms in the hotel invited everyone to continue the party upstairs. Tom and Gail wanted to stay for a while so we went upstairs with the group. We continued to drink and dance and a few of the bolder men were squeezing my ass and rubbing against my tits as we danced and my nipples became very hard and visible. The wine was having it's effect on me as well. I went to another room to find a washroom that wasn't busy and forgot to lock the door. Tom came into the bathroom just as I was finishing but still had my one piece jumpsuit around my knees. He grabbed me and started kissing me, playing with my nipples with one hand and feeling my pussy with the other. I protested for a minute, but I was so horny that didn't last long. He moved from kissing me to sucking my nipples and finger fucking me before I could think. I soon came. Then he said it was his turn, what would I like to do. I turned around and bent over the vanity and instead of fucking me immediately as I expected he knelt down behind me and started to eat ny pussy and lick my ass. I have never been so turned on in my life and when he stuck his tongue up my ass I had the strongest orgasm of my life. Tom then took some hand lotion that was on the vanity and put some on his finger and slipped it up my ass and another in my pussy. It felt wonderful and I soon wanted more and asked him to please fuck me now. He stood up and eased his cock into me and started to fuck me hard. Just as I was about to come again he pulled out and placed it against my ass hole. He slowly pushed it into me and it felt wierd but good at the same time. He reached around and played with my clit and before I knew it he was all the way inside of my ass(his cock is smaller than my husbands). After about three slow strokes he started to shudder and came. I needed to came again so he ate me to another orgasm before we cleaned up and left the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and stepped into Gail who was listening at the door. She gave me a big kiss and said that it must have gone well by the noise I was making. She and Tom had planned the whole thing.
My only problem now is whether to tell my husband before or after he gets his turn at my ass.

P.S. Thanks for the advice and encouragement.