Anal Virginity

[Carmeleyes23]

I have been doing a lot of research on anal and have some to the conclusion that I want to expierence it. The problem. I have no partner in mind. I have no clue how to go about finding or even asking someone about this or to do this with me. Any advice, it would be welcome

 

[SweetErika]

I'm guessing you're looking to receive, rather than give?

MY requirements would be someone who:
- I trust completely, meaning I feel certain they will respect my wishes, stop if I say so and give me what I need/ask for. That's no guarantee they will, but there's a greater chance than if I'd picked some random person.

- Has done the research and thus knows anal shouldn't be painful, lots of lube is required, and complete arousal, relaxation, warm-up and taking it very slow (ideally letting you control the penetration until you're comfortable) are necessary. I'd be sure to ask about their experience level, what they've learned, how they'd proceed in detail and guage how open they were to learning and discussing material (that can be a good indication of whether they'll listen to me in the heat of the moment, as well).

- Is willing to get tested for STD's at my request and show me their results.

- Insists on using condoms and is willing to use dental dams (people who don't/won't likely have unportected sex with others).

- I like and feel good about outside of the bedroom.

- Is willing to have non-sexual dates until I'm comfortable moving into the bedroom.

Of course those are just my personal requirements, and yours may be very different. For me, anal especially requires a lot of trust and a certain level of intimacy. Doing it with someone I don't know and trust is a very physically and emotionally risky proposition.

Just about any guy will be willing to use you to get off. Fewer are willing to make sure they know what they're doing and make sure your physical and emotional needs are met or exceeded. So, I'd suggest figuring out what it will take for that to happen for you, and finding someone based on that criteria. It won't be hard to meet someone via a personal ad or in real life, but it may require some patience to find someone who you connect with and trust.

That, or save this for a future partner you're in a relationship with. You're young and not likely to enter a convent or something anytime soon, are you?

 

[smotherman]

I have been doing a lot of research on anal and have some to the conclusion that I want to expierence it. The problem. I have no partner in mind. I have no clue how to go about finding or even asking someone about this or to do this with me. Any advice, it would be welcome

I don't think you'll have a problem finding a partner. I'm speaking from a guys perspective. We love anal!

Just make sure the guy you choose takes his time with you and does not rush anything. Communication and trust are essential!

I hope everything works out for ya! good luck!

 

[Carmeleyes23]

Thanks

Wow getting very good advice, thank you so far

 

[subwannabe]

I guess I'm kind of old fashioned. If it were me, and I was a woman, instead of looking for someone to give me anal, I would be looking for a boyfriend instead. Until then I would be happy just pleasing myself anally or otherwise for a while until the real thing came along. Is it imperitive that after this amount of time you need anal now? I'm sure several of us guys would be happy to help you out right now if that's what you really want.

 

[Carmeleyes23]

What?

After what amount of time? You make it seem like I up and decided 'today is the day'. And if u were a woman and you were me, you would have a 'boyfriend' who's to say he is 'into' anal. Not I

 

[rthnck]

I have to admit that it's hard to wrap my mind around the idea that a woman desires anal and can't find a willing partner. I'm sure there are some guys that would turn up their nose at the thought (hard to image) but I would think that the majority of red-blooded males would be all to eager to slide it in your willing backdoor.

 

[ticketyboo]

anal

my wife and i adore anal

 

[Fertile_Lady]

I've found the angle of the entry is most important. I've heard this from other women as well. If the penis is angled to the side as it enter the anus, and the anus is lubed enough, it's pretty easy going! Enjoy

 

[slarsit]

Process

After trying all kinds of sex, my wife started to show some interest in anal sex. She was frightened and the first time I began feeling around her anus she got uptight, but still she was interseted, but scared.
I bought a video on how to do anal sex and learned it was best to 'educate' the anus before going on to penetraton with the penis. So, I bought some latex gloves, they are smoother and feel better, and some lubricant. I had both of the things in bed. Rather than going straight to the anal thing, I spend lots of time hugging and kissing her and going down on her. While she was working her dildo on herself, I put on the glove and the lub and started gently stroking and rubing her anus. As she got hotter and hotter, I slowly slipped more of my finger in until I finally had my index finger buried in her. The minute I hit bottom she exploded and had multiple orgasms.
Three years later, two fingers get buried in her and occasionally three. We end up with me deep inside her. She still loves intercourse and oral sex, but by far
She loves my fingers up her back-in. And I always get the pleasure of using what she loves to get me what I enjoy.

 

[WriterDom]

Your profile says you are married. Husband might be a good place to start.

 

[TheJazzer]

I'm desperate to have anal sex with my wife. We have a great sex life most of the time and she's not exactly turned off by anal but she finds any penis exploration painful.

We have done a lot of exploring with toys and fingers with which she's had no problem but as soon as it comes to fucking, it's like she just tightens up.

I'm not an anal virgin. I had one relationship with a woman where almost all of our sex was anal.

Any advice?

 

[subwannabe]

It is rather confusing that your profile says that you are married and yet your post is worded, "I have no partner in mind. I have no clue how to go about finding or even asking someone about this or to do this with me." I'm guessing the marriage thing is a little white lie to try discouraging wacko sickos from contacting you (although I don't believe it would really make a difference). In any event, my old fashioned values would still lead me to wonder why you don't put the energy into finding a partner instead of using that same energy to find an "anal buddy". I would be like you, having no clue how to find someone to fulfill that one desire, without finding some scum who probably has a host of diseases or other problems. Don't mean to offend anyone, and yes, I do realize that just finding a boyfriend doesn't guarantee he won't have a host of diseases or other problems.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

So what gives? Is your husband not into anal or have you been too embarrassed to ask him? What has made you recently decide you want to try this?

Be honest about what's really going on here. If you can't be honest on an anonymous forum you have problems. Posters here are usually sympathetic and give good advice but they don't like being taken for mugs.

 

[SweetErika]

I'm desperate to have anal sex with my wife. We have a great sex life most of the time and she's not exactly turned off by anal but she finds any penis exploration painful.

We have done a lot of exploring with toys and fingers with which she's had no problem but as soon as it comes to fucking, it's like she just tightens up.

I'm not an anal virgin. I had one relationship with a woman where almost all of our sex was anal.

Any advice?

I had this problem after having painful anal with a previous partner.

What helped was using a toy on myself that was slightly bigger than Hubby, then guiding him to use it on me and being in control and distracting myself with clit stimulation when we finally worked up to sex.

The toy was a mental thing - if I could take something bigger than him pain-free, I knew his cock wouldn't be an issue if we went slow and I was in control.

But it still was, so we made sure he didn't move--AT ALL--I pushed back to meet him at my own pace, while I used a vibe on my clit. That was just enough distraction to make me not think about the anal so much and tighten up involuntarily.

It's about taking the threat (perceived or real) away from the cock. In time, she's likely to get more confident about it and you'll be able to relax the procedure some.

 

[TheJazzer]

I had this problem after having painful anal with a previous partner.

What helped was using a toy on myself that was slightly bigger than Hubby, then guiding him to use it on me and being in control and distracting myself with clit stimulation when we finally worked up to sex.

The toy was a mental thing - if I could take something bigger than him pain-free, I knew his cock wouldn't be an issue if we went slow and I was in control.

But it still was, so we made sure he didn't move--AT ALL--I pushed back to meet him at my own pace, while I used a vibe on my clit. That was just enough distraction to make me not think about the anal so much and tighten up involuntarily.

It's about taking the threat (perceived or real) away from the cock. In time, she's likely to get more confident about it and you'll be able to relax the procedure some.

That is great advice thanks, just need to find something bigger than my cock
.

It's true to say I think she sees it as a threat and I know she can take things bigger than my cock, she's just not aware of it even if I tell her she doesn't completely believe me, but were moving in the right direction.

Thanks again.

 

[Carmeleyes23]

What?

It is rather confusing that your profile says that you are married and yet your post is worded, "I have no partner in mind. I have no clue how to go about finding or even asking someone about this or to do this with me." I'm guessing the marriage thing is a little white lie to try discouraging wacko sickos from contacting you (although I don't believe it would really make a difference). In any event, my old fashioned values would still lead me to wonder why you don't put the energy into finding a partner instead of using that same energy to find an "anal buddy". I would be like you, having no clue how to find someone to fulfill that one desire, without finding some scum who probably has a host of diseases or other problems. Don't mean to offend anyone, and yes, I do realize that just finding a boyfriend doesn't guarantee he won't have a host of diseases or other problems.

lol no the it's real. I do have a husband. He's not into the whole anal thing. And has told me time and again. I think his honesty is refreshing and yet still i want to do this. if i havent convinced him now, i doubt he'll be convinced. You on the other hand, sound hostile. You don't know me, and I didn't ask YOU to do do this for me. SO please, just chill a bit.

 

[subwannabe]

Maybe it's just my point of view, but it sounds to me like you are the one who is hostile. I was just answering your question. My apologies if I didn't answer it the way you wanted me too.

 

[Carmeleyes23]

Thank You

Maybe it's just my point of view, but it sounds to me like you are the one who is hostile. I was just answering your question. My apologies if I didn't answer it the way you wanted me too.

I'm sorry also but thank you for ur input i have taken it under advisement and it has helped

 

[eriov]

huh. Not judging you Carmeleyes in any way... you might have to let your husband know about your intentions. "OK fine, you doesn't want to experience it but I'll find another partner for that".
After all he's on the "lucky" side. Many couples experience the opposite than you, with women refusing it to their partner. Most often reason is pain. Here he won't experience any pain other than "possessing you" (yummy.. . If he doesn't want, others will
Good luck

 

[armchairqtrback]

True story....

I'm married and so is she. We worked on a project together into the late afternoon without lunch so I invited her to dinner at a mexican place across the street (yeah, mexican before anal).

After her second large margarita she says she wants to ask me a personal question but she's embarrassed. After some coaxing she asks me if my wife likes anal. I told her we tried a few times but it hurt my wife too much. Then she asked me about girls prior to my wife and I advised that I tried with 3 others with the same result. Usually the girl needed to be shit faced drunk to even get the head of my penis in.

At this point she became embarrassed even more and didnt want to go any further with the conversation. Thus, another round of margaritas and me laying on the guilt trip that I answered personal questions about myself and she should fess up. (Not to mention I had a raging hard on at this point)

She agrees that she owes me at least an answer to my question which was why was she interested in my anal experience.

She goes on to tell me that she has a lot of trouble having an orgasm via vaginal intercourse. Maybe 5% on the time. However, she absolutely loves anal. She says it makes her feel really dirty and she can cum almost always from it. I damn near came in my pants.

I told her that I didnt see any issue with her so called problem and in fact I was very honest with her when I said that I thought that was so hot, that I was really turned on and that I wish my wife liked anal.

She went on to tell me she really appreciated my honesty because she thought she was perverted and most people thought it was nasty and at least she now knew it wasnt her. I asked who thinks its nasty and she says her husband. I was like "WHAT!"

She says, yeah, he says its gross and wont do it. So I say to her listen, every guy I know thinks of anal as the holy grail of sex. If a chick likes anal your in love. I went on to advise that most of the girls I tried it with liked anal but just couldnt fit me into them so I would just stick a finger in or a small dildo. I also told her that most girls loved to have their asshole licked as well.

At this point she has a huge grin on her face and asks, "You like to lick chicks' asses?"

I respond, "If they have a nice ass."

At that point she stood up, turned around and asked me if she had a nice ass.

I didnt have to look because she was very attractive and I was checking her out all day but I responded, "Check please."

Needless to say I dont need to tell you where we ended up.

 

[armchairqtrback]

anyway, the meaning of my story is this...

I dont think you'll have trouble finding someone to fuck you in the ass. I was licking and fucking some womans ass after meeting for an hour.

 

[sarah_rsl]

On a general not about anal sex, while I have done it, I have to say it's such a male obsession. In recent years porn has really pushed anal sex as something that's perfectly normal and that men should feel an entitlement to in a sexual relationship.

Years ago it might have been used to protect virginity or as a crude form of birth control, even then I think it was a way of fufilling a man's desires. I fully accept that some women enjoy it, I did it more out of curiosity. Most of the time though I think its just some woman bending over to keep her man happy

 

[Duvet_Thief]

Well, imo there is nothing wrong with keeping a man happy per se - though certainly there is if the woman dislikes the experience.

I had one partner who really loved anal sex... and we were together for several years before we tried it. When we did it was kind of a revelation. To begin with I just inserted a finger while I went down on her. She was really amazed to find how much she loved it.

I think I would have found it sexy in any case, but it was the fact that it turned her on so much which REALLY excited me. It had a strange knockon effect to the rest of our sex, too: made it more instinctive somehow, closer. Maybe because there is a trust issue (both in the successful practice of anal sex but also in admitting how much we liked it!)

But I think if a partner didn't enjoy it herself, I woulnd't either.

@ Carameleyes: You said you've mentioned it to your husband before. Did explain exactly why he doesn't like the idea?