anal sex

May I suggest that you go to the "how to" forum, and look for help there.
 
Could someone show me how not to get sh*t on?? Thanks.

Don't let your woman eat for 2 days before anal sex :D To be serious, you cannot avoid it by natural means. Rectum+anus is made to be the exit of the intestine, therefore it contains what the intestine does.

On the other hand, if your partner agrees, she can follow the porn-star method: an enema 20-30 minutes before the intercourse. It usually works, but don't think that it's a 100% clean solution; you 'll still have to use a condom.
 
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