Anal Play

[blueeyes78]

Would love to convince my girlfriend to use a toy or strap on on me but frankly don't know how to introduce the topic or get her interested....she's fairly conventional (doesn't like toys or vibrators for her)....any ideas out there from either men or women on how to take this step from your own experiences?

 

[A_Kefka]

Would love to convince my girlfriend to use a toy or strap on on me but frankly don't know how to introduce the topic or get her interested....she's fairly conventional (doesn't like toys or vibrators for her)....any ideas out there from either men or women on how to take this step from your own experiences?

I've seen a few women's magazines (Cosmo and Redbook type) that say women should play with a guy's backside. I'd think an article like that would be a good way to break the ice and talk about it.

 

[quietwoman187]

Would love to convince my girlfriend to use a toy or strap on on me but frankly don't know how to introduce the topic or get her interested....she's fairly conventional (doesn't like toys or vibrators for her)....any ideas out there from either men or women on how to take this step from your own experiences?

I would probably say that it also depends upon what she wants. If she feels uncomfortable doing that on her own body, then she'll feel doubly uncomfortable doing it on you. I would probably say don't push it or force it, because that would probably increase her discomfort. But, the next time you have an honest sex talk, bring it up. Honestly tell her that you're interested in experimenting and feel it would bring you pleasure. But, also ask her if there's anything you can do to increase her pleasure. That way, it's a two-way conversation. However, as the previous poster stated, start small. See if she'll just lightly finger you every once in awhile, but don't make it a big deal. Let her feel more comfortable on her own.

Most people aren't into anal because of obvious reasons, and if she has that definitive association don't try to talk her out of it. There are informative materials you could probably provide her (not pamphlets but legitimate books) that might help. Search amazon to see what you can come up with. Also, I do shill this woman to the highest level, but I like Tristan T's work as she emphasizes the safety and smallness of anal play. She makes it clear that people don't need to start out with the 5-in strap on, which I like. And, I think that takes under consideration everyone's comfort level. However, I'd suggest her videos only if your girlfriend agreed after seeing more tangible written works. She might also be against it for fear of hurting you.

Again, it's quite possible, if this is something you really want and she isn't into, that you let it go and consider finding a partner closer to your sexual desires the next time you're on the market. Does she know you're on lit? Maybe show her links to some of the anal play stickies. If you guys do watch porn, maybe incorporate some flicks that show male/female anal penetration, but doesn't overtly focus on it. In the end, even if she doesn't go for it, I wouldn't force it. Just remind yourself of the kind things she does for you and be glad you do have someone to bump uglies with even if it isn't at the level you desire.

 

[blueeyes78]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies....I really appreciate it.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

You can do this more subtly than presenting her with a strap-on for her birthday. Maybe start by suggesting she plays with and/or fingers your ass when she gives you a blow job. You can tell her that her fingers don't go deep enough and suggest getting a toy for the job. Most women in the hyper-sexualised west know that a man's G spot is somewhere up his ass. Some women can worry that a guy has bi or homosexual leanings if he enjoys assplay but it's a common misconception and it shouldn't be too difficult to reassure her if she's fairly open-minded. From fingers you can maybe move on to buttplugs or prostate massagers. If she is accepting of all that then you should be able to broach the subject of strap-on sex without freaking her out. If this is part of a desire to be submissive in the bedroom, you could maybe explore light kinkplay like bondage with scarves or being her servant for the day and spoiling her.

She may not go for all of the above but if you introduce things gradually she's less likely to baulk and flat refuse.

 

[silverwhisper]

velvet, i generally am a fan of your advice, but i really don't know that a strap-on b-day present could be said to be "subtle". :>

ed

 

[VelvetDarkness]

velvet, i generally am a fan of your advice, but i really don't know that a strap-on b-day present could be said to be "subtle". :>

ed

I was being flippant. Sue me.

 

[silverwhisper]

now now, velvet, you shouldn't make such offers to a yank: we've been known to do such things without such charming invitations.

ed

 

[kyrammas]

After wanting to ask for anal play for myself for a long time I finally just had to ask my wife for it. I was a little embarrassed but I asked her if she would touch my ass while I played with my cock. Luckily she was happy to comply. I have also opened up the idea of using a prostate massager while we were browsing a sex toy website. I just said that I was curious to see what it felt like since she enjoys anal toys and that I had read that prostate stimulation was supposed to be pretty intense for guys. She said that we could try it sometime. I would say that it was easiest to talk about the subject outside of the bedroom just while browsing sex toy websites.