anal and stuff

[Guest]

question I was thinking about getting either a buttplug or a anal dildo for my girl. Yet after we try anal(which never works) she says she gets "backed-up" and can't sit for the whole day. I wonder if i will ever be able to enjoy this with her?

i know there are other threads for how to on this subject, but i am lazy and i looked before and didn't see it.

Here is a question i think i saw on here also. Does size matter for anal? My girl says i am rather large and its one of the reasons we are having issues with anal.

btw measure 7 in length( well its a tad under but not enough to really care). And i would say when hard..............1 1/2 to 2 inches wide. The 2 inches maybe much, i have yet to measure it that way. I should huh?

thanks for the help.

 

[SexyChele]

Anal sex or play may sometimes result in either constipation or diahrrea. Or sometimes neither one. It depends on the person. Normally, if things get "backed up" or "let loose", all is restored to normal in a day or so. The best thing for her is to empty her bowels prior to play. That should dispel some of the discomfort. This can also go away with time. I know the first couple of times I had anal sex, I would get constipated for a couple of days. I don't have those experiences now.

As to soreness, it could depend on quite a few things. My first thought would be not enough lube and moving too fast too quickly. The anus can stretch and your size should be fairly easy to accommodate with lots of lube and preparation. If she tightens up during play, that might be causing her some pain. If she has trouble thoroughly relaxing, perhaps a glass of wine might help. Or a nice massage. Soreness the next day can be a slight problem. Again, with time, this usually goes away or is diminished as well.

You might want to begin by helping your lady to relax, lots of arousal, lots of lube. Help her get used to the stretch (this is what hurts) by inserting your finger, then fingers, then perhaps a toy or two. Work at her speed, let her tell you when to continue.

 

[Guest]

You might want to begin by helping your lady to relax, lots of arousal, lots of lube. Help her get used to the stretch (this is what hurts) by inserting your finger, then fingers, then perhaps a toy or two. Work at her speed, let her tell you when to continue.

Well she was very relaxed. She even said so. she has this weird stomach condition. I forget what it is though. The funny thing is that i have gotten 4 fingers up there,but when i went with the penis.....well thats the real problem. I used one finger the other night and she loved it. we have done the lube too and got us know where. It can be annoying as hell and a mood killer.maybe i wil have her read what what you and if others post say about this.

 

[SexyChele]

Hmmmm....she can take 4 of your fingers but not your penis? Perhaps she is comfortable with fingers because of the length? Your penis is longer and perhaps when it comes to that, she *subconsciously* tightens up?

You don't say what position you are in, but that can play a big part of it. Positions where the woman has control work best. This might be her on top or on her hands and knees. You should be ready with the lube, and keep lubing both her and you. For me, even now, once a man has entered me, he must stay still until I get used to him. It's just that initial stretching that does it for me. Once I'm past that, I'm okay. Many times women don't realize this and both men and women just start moving. First time anal is very slow - almost an inch at a time, depending on the woman.

Also - very, very important and most overlooked! While you are initially pushing into her, she should be pushing out, as though she were having a BM. This helps relax the sphincter ring of muscles, and if you both are extremely lubed up, you should just pop inside. Once there, stay still, let her get used to you. Then let her do the moving.

There are quite a few threads just in this forum alone that go into great detail about anal pleasure. As well, there are quite a few article's in the "How To" section here at Lit.

Good luck!

 

[Guest]

well to answer you. Its doggy style.

what is bm? Big monster?

I can see her tightening up, yeah. Well i have gotten inside of her, and just sat there, but it hurt so much that she pulled out and curled up.

 

[Lust Engine]

what is bm? Big monster?

Uh, well I guess it can be called a "big monster" but what Chele was referring to was a Bowel Movement.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[ReadyOne]

My ex-wife got curious about anal and ask her girl friend what she thought. The answer was...

"If something that big can come out, then something that big can go in!"

 

[Etoile]

If lube is killing the mood, something is wrong. Just integrate it into your play, because it's essential. (Unless you're into pain, in which case come visit us on the BDSM board.)

Also, what is this about not being able to sit after anal sex? I could see that being the case with a spanking, but just fucking? Yeah, your ass can feel weird sometimes, but I've never had a problem putting my butt in a chair. Sometimes after my ass has been fucked a lot I have a little less control over flatulence, by the way - I'll fart when laughing, for example, because my sphincter is looser.

And yeah, enemas are your friend if you want to try anal play.

If BM = bowel movement didn't clear things up, perhaps BM = taking a dump is clearer?

 

[Lust Engine]

lmao. I guess we've all had a few mig monsters before.

Especially after having hugemeals prepared for us by certain PBS chefs!

(sorry, semi-inside joke!)

 

[Lust Engine]

If lube is killing the mood, something is wrong. Just integrate it into your play, because it's essential.

I can't see how using lube would be a mood killer. If nothing else, I'd like to think of it as something that would build up the anticipation of what's to come.

 

[SexyChele]

My ex-wife got curious about anal and ask her girl friend what she thought. The answer was...

"If something that big can come out, then something that big can go in!"

I had thought of this very same thing yesterday, but figured it was a little too much over the edge. Seeing it now, I realize how funny it is!


Plasma - on here somewhere is a step by step guide I wrote on how to do anal. I'm too lazy to dig it up at the moment, but I'll try to recap from start to finish for you. Hopefully you'll find some value in it.

1. It really helps if your g/f has a bowel movement before this whole thing begins. Contrary to what a lot of people think, this does not have to be something you two do together. There are enemas on the market that she can administer to herself - Fleet is just one brand. About an hour or so beforehand, she can give herself one, then grab a quick shower. (Or you two can shower together. This will do a couple of things: make the area cleaner, give her peace of mind that she is "empty", and reduce (for a while, anyway) any constipation/diahrrea that might happen.

2. Relaxation/slow build-up. As I'm sure you are aware, an anus is not the same as a vagina. It needs to be treated with a lot more tender loving care. Therefore, it is vital that you spend an extraordinary amount of time with foreplay. Really work her up - oral, manual, whatever it takes. I find that, if a man is able to, it helps if he has an orgasm first. Makes him not quite so much in a hurry to get off. If a glass of wine or a slow massage will her relax fully, great. She should feel like putty but be extremely turned on.

3. Lube up the area around her anus and gently insert one finger. Play with her, gently move it in and out, and around in circles. Wait for her body to respond - not merely her words. When her body starts to press against you, meeting your movements, then you are ready to go to 2 fingers. Again with the lube! You can never have too much when doing anal! Do the same things you did before. It helps to also be stimulating her clit at the same time, either orally, manually, or with a vibe. Gently use the two fingers to stretch her. It's not going to feel very comfy, so play LOTS of attention to her clit! And don't keep stretching - stretch, release, stretch, release. Allow her time to get used to it. If you think she can, and it sounds as if she can, go for more fingers. Or, switch to a toy. Again - LUBE! Lube her, lube the toy, and keep adding lube. Keep in mind, the anus is a dry area and does not self-lubricate. The more you add, the better it will be.

4. When you both feel it is time, have her get into whatever position she feels is comfortable. For me, it's doggie style. Other women like to be on top. Just depends. Again - lube her anus generously. She will probably be very slippery by this time, but add more. Then add a little more. Keep repeating to yourself, "Can never have enough of this stuff!" Lube yourself as well. Lots! Have her play with her clit, either manually or with a vibre. Enter her S L O W L Y. As you push against her anus, have her push out as though she were pushing out a bowel movement. If she is pushing out and there is enough lube, you should just sort of pop in.

5. Once inside, do NOT move! At all! She should continue to play with her clit. Your cock feels weird inside. How do I describe this? It feels like you have to take a huge dump NOW and the urge is to push it out. Got it? It takes a few moments to get used to the feeling. Playing with her clit, finger fucking her vagina will help her to concentrate on the good feelings.

6. Let her direct the movement, and stand ready with the lube. With as much play on her clit as possible, she should be responding. Let her move along your shaft, even if it is one inch at a time. Keep lubing her anus and your cock. Every time she moves along your cock, she should do that pushing out thing. (It really is the biggest secret and no one emphasizes it enough, IMO)

7. If she is uncomfortable in any way or says to stop, stop! (I think you do this anyway, so this is for the lurkers) And don't just rip out of her ass, either. OUCHIE! Pull out slow and gentle and ask her to push out as well.

8. If she is able to take your penis, or most of it, let her begin the motions. If she starts to move back and forth, let her go with it. If she gets to the point of asking you to fuck her, do so - but gently. Build up and let her tell you the depth and speed she wants you to go. Again, be playing with that clit. Keeping that pleasured will help take her mind off of what is going on in her anus.

9. Using a condom sometimes helps. I've never had one used on me, so I can't speak to that. It's a decision you and your g/f need to make. If you get the point of ejaculation, you should have already talked about where you will do this. If you are wearing a condom, it's not an issue. If not, sometmes ejaculate can bring about constipation/diahrrea - sometimes. You can always pull out and cum on her ass, however.

10. After anal sex, she will feel a bit uncomfy. Her anus has been stretched for a longer than normal time period. It will, of course, snap back, but until it does it can feel a bit weird. As Etoile mentioned flatulance can be an issue for a short time. Also, leakage. But this should only last a few hours. (another reason why an enema beforehand is a good idea!) She may feel a bit of soreness - that can be common the first few times. This should also go away shortly. Some women have slight bleeding. If it is just spotting and goes away quickly, it is nothing to worry about. If she is really bleeding, or if it doesn't stop within 24 hours, she might consider seeing her doctor. Some women experience cramping after anal sex. Normally, it is not severe and goes away within a few hours. If it persists for 24 hours, she should speak to her doctor. Constipation can occur, but again, she should be "back to normal" within a day or so. I have also experienced some tenderness when I tried to sit, but only for that day. And it depends on how hard I was being fucked. If your g/f is feeling a lot of pain, it sounds as if not enough lube is being used.

Sounds like a lot of "bad", doesn't it? Truthfully, for me at least, I always orgasm harder during anal sex. I don't do it all the time, but when I do, I enjoy it. The first few times were unsucessful, due to my own inexperience and the men I was with. It takes a slow, considerate. loving partner to really pull this off and make it an enjoyable experience. Once a woman experiences anal sex and realizes it doesn't have to be painful, she is more eager to try it again. If she gets hurt too many times, she won't ever do it again. Just something to keep in mind!

And did I mention lube? I'm serious. You really can never have enough of this stuff! But stay away from petroleum-based products, such as Vaseline. Oils, such as baby or vegetable, are okay, but I wouldn't suggest using them for anal. Many will say Astroglide, but I personally find it too thin and drying for anal. If you can get to an adult toy store, they sometimes have silicone-based lubes that work best for anal. They are thicker and not water-soluable. I would also stay away from products like AnalEaze as they have desensitizers in them. Might help her, but you will also become desensitized! In a pinch, KY has always worked well for me. It dries a bit too quickly, but is thicker than Astroglide.

Good luck to both of you!

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Uh, well I guess it can be called a "big monster" but what Chele was referring to was a Bowel Movement.

helpless giggling like an idiot right now....... my co-workers are calling the rescue squad..........

 

[Etoile]

I can't see how using lube would be a mood killer. If nothing else, I'd like to think of it as something that would build up the anticipation of what's to come.

Okay, glad I'm not the only one who thought that was kind of strange. I think the kinkier among us are more used to playing with lube...I sort of see it as something that might not be part of a wholly vanilla heterosexual white-bread good-ol'-boy lifestyle. (Though it should be! I wonder how many women would enjoy sex a lot more if they knew about lube.)

 

[Etoile]

Wow, Chele, for being too lazy to find the original, that's a damn good recap!

(And I'm all honored and pleased that you read my post and found it accurate, thank you.)

 

[DuckLover]

Another reason to avoid desensitizing lubes like AnalEze is the physical risk. As Chele mentioned, the anus is not as tough as the vagina and is more easily damaged. Any damage in the anal area can be VERY serious. Pain is the body's way of warning you of impending damage and it should be listened to, not silenced.

Done correctly (relaxed, lots of lube) anal sex should not hurt.

 

[Guest]

well after reading all of this..............well........i am so bummed at how much work it is. EH um maybe when i can take a couple of days off and be alone with her for oh lets say 48 hrs then maybe i can get this done.

thanks for the advice. I'll have her read this and then we will be off to the porn store for some stuff. Yeah we do that. She wants a didlo.....i want a monkey.....good trade off i say lol