An Open Offer To Amelia (RaiderFanette)

[Marxist]

Dearest Amelia,

I know you had your hopes and dreams pinned on the Oakland Raiders, but at this moment your team is down 25 points in the late third quarter and I don't think they're gonna come back to win.

So, let me make you this offer in friendship:

Come over to my house and I'll let you cry on my shoulder. I'll assuage your tears with my terrycloth bathrobe and annoint your sorehead with soothing cocoa butter.

Once you're calm, I'll draw you a lavender bubble bath and nobly stand outside the door while you disrobe. Once safely under the bubbles, I'll come in and scrub you, washing away the final remnants of your disappointment.

Your Friend and Fellow Raider Fan,
Marxist


P.S.--If you need a nice hard fuck I'm good for that too.

 

[perks]

Dude, if lavender is going to be in the bath, I'm coming over too!

 

[lavender]

And if perky is going to be in the bath, I wanna be there too.

 

[Marxist]

Dude, if lavender is going to be in the bath, I'm coming over too!

*image too surreal to comprehend or imagine*


You mean Amelia and me (her noble manswervant) aren't enough?

One word: Greedy

 

[Angel]

They're starting to catch up... maybe.

 

[perks]

greedy is what the _ stands for.

nice av there, lav.

 

[Marxist]

greedy is what the _ stands for.

That makes little sense. Perky GREEDY baby? It just doesn't flow.

How about Perky TITTED baby? or Perky BOOTIED Baby? Both would be true.

 

[Azwed]

Ahh poor raiders. not

 

[perks]

you don't know, Carlton.

It's all about me.

 

[Marxist]

you don't know, Carlton.

It's all about me.

I always thought it was all about Amelia, but if it's all about you, you would know, right?

 

[perks]

I always thought it was all about Amelia, but if it's all about you, you would know, right?

it might be all about amelia, for you. It's perfectly understandable, she's a kickass chica.

 

[amelia]

Hey..sweet marxist that sounds awesome.



i'm sad..but blown away. the bucs came to play and i'm proud of them. I've loved gruden for a long time and i'm happy for him. It was a convincing win and they had the excitment and speed on their side the whole time. I love my raiders and if they would have played their game..they would have won. They didn't..so..they didn't.

I feel so bad for gannon and brown. I'm not sure they'll get another turn.


Congrats to the Bucs and Bucs fans!


marxy..come hold me, daddy.

 

[Marxist]

I'll be right over. According to Lance I need to bring over Douglas Adams and Leonard Cohen. I don't really know what those guys have to do with me getting in your pants.

 

[amelia]

I'll be right over. According to Lance I need to bring over Douglas Adams and Leonard Cohen. I don't really know what those guys have to do with me getting in your pants.

i don't know who they are either. as for getting in my pants..i don't know why you'd want to do that. you'd look pretty funny wearing my pants.

 

[Azwed]

i don't know who they are either. as for getting in my pants..i don't know why you'd want to do that. you'd look pretty funny wearing my pants.

Would they even fit???

 

[amelia]

Would they even fit???

uhh..what are you trying to say, dude?

 

[Marxist]

uhh..what are you trying to say, dude?

I think he's trying to say you're fat.

Bite him and make him pay.

 

[amelia]

I think he's trying to say you're fat.

Bite him and make him pay.

that's what i thought he was trying to say!

grrrr..and stuff


(or maybe..and this is just an idea..he was trying to say i'm taller than you are)

 

[Marxist]

that's what i thought he was trying to say!

grrrr..and stuff


(or maybe..and this is just an idea..he was trying to say i'm taller than you are)

Amelia, it's OK, Azwed think Laura Flynn Boyle could use a diet.


Are you really taller than me?

 

[amelia]

Are you really taller than me?

not when i'm on my knees, baby.

 

[Marxist]

not when i'm on my knees, baby.

This explains why I've never seen your eyes.

Blue, brown, green?

 

[amelia]

This explains why I've never seen your eyes.

Blue, brown, green?

what? you said they were the sweetest eyes you'd ever seen.

 

[Marxist]

what? you said they were the sweetest eyes you'd ever seen.

I was talking about your hair. It's blonde, so I said, "you have Swedish, eh?"

You shouldn't try to listen with your mouth full.

 

[amelia]

You shouldn't try to listen with your mouth full.

noted.