An Open Letter to Dr. Laura

[Laurel]

I didn't write this, but I read it somewhere else and thought it was way too funny to not share:
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Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination..... End of debate! I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of specific law and how to best follow them as a true believer. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident that you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is ETERNAL and UNCHANGING.

 

[Bobtoad777]

ROTFLMBCO,

As a Christian I have to laff that is so hilarious, it really is I am going to add it to my jokes site,if that is ok with you Laurel. Oh Man I am still laffing I am going to print that baby off and give it to my pastor he'll probably read it fron the pulpit.

I could give an answer for it but I don't feel like starting a flame war tonight/this morning, dagnabbit it's its 4am already and my freebies arent out in the mail.

 

[Aranian]

I hate religeon bashing, but that letter embodies so much of what I want to convey to some of those self-righteous gay-hating "orthodox" conservatives.

 

[Rolly]

Hi Laurel!

Good post. Yes, I agree; be careful what standard you use to judge people. You might find, it can start to apply to almost everyone. More than ever I believe if love is true, sex is ok. Just not with children.

Love your new site.
Jane

 

[Guest]

I think I love the person who wrote that letter to Dr. Laura! (It would be better if it was actually mailed to her though!)

~Tiggs~
http://smilecwm.tripod.com/big/biggrin.gif

 

[Bobtoad777]

Endlessly, Dixon Carter Lee, Deborah I would be interested if you would be kind enough to present a why this is or is not an honest representation of true christianity. Anybody else is welcome to present a debate on why this is or is not an honest representation of Christianity.

I think we could have fun with this if we try. Come on people Please, Pretty Please.

 

[Aranian]

"Christianity" covers a very broad spectrum, Bob. You get the extremists along with the liberals. To do any real bashing you need to identify a particular group like the Mormons or the Amish.

[Edited by Aranian on 10-02-2000 at 08:32 PM]

 

[Bobtoad777]

Yes, I know that it does but this letter seems to whomever I talk to epitamize in peoples mind Christianity as a whole. My question is it fair to lolop all christianity in the same bowl like this.

 

[Laurel]

I think it's meant as satire - to poke fun at a certain rather bigoted talk show host, not as an indictment of religion in general (especially not Christianity, as Dr. Laura is a Jew). The thrust of the barb is that the Bible provides many laws to live by, and that people of the various faiths pick and choose what they feel should be followed to the letter and what they feel is meant metaphorically. Like any great work, the Bible can be interpreted as many ways as there are people who read it. Dr. Laura's assessment of gays as "deviants" is something she claims is backed up in Scripture - and it is. But does she adhere to every other law in the Old Testament, or does she discard the notion of burning sacrifice at the altar as metaphorical and outdated?

I have a real problem with anyone who claims that they or their religion has all of the answers. To say that a belief feels right to you is proper; to say that Judaism holds all the answers and that everyone else is going to hell is egotistical. I have an even bigger problem with people who use the Bible or other holy works to back up their bigoted views. The world is too small a place for intolerance. You don't have to agree with your neighbor - and one is well within one's right to believe that gays are deviant, if that's what one really believes - but your belief is your belief. It is not "the word of God", no matter how much money you make from your radio show.

 

[Aranian]

Epitomize not epitamize. No, I can't recall anyone but DCL ever grouping the liberals and conservative christians together and stamping them all as outspoken intolerant bible-thumpers.

 

[Laurel]

Out of curiosity, who are "the liberals"? Isn't that a Rush-ism?

 

[wetneice]

Brilliant!

That letter is brilliant! LOL, I almost fell on the floor laughing...Thanks for sharing...

 

[Laurel]

Oh, never mind... I checked the dictionary and answered my own question:

lib·er·al (lbr-l, lbrl)
adj. Abbr. lib.

a.Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

b.Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

Well, I'm liberal then.

 

[Bliss]

Ruh Roh, Reorge!

Bravo, Madam! I suppose that makes me mostly liberal. Please don't make me vote for Nader!

 

[Laurel]

LMAO! Don't worry - I won't...

 

[Bobtoad777]

Out of curiosity, who are "the liberals"? Isn't that a Rush-ism?

Ok, I call myself self a medium road Christian. Not liberal or overly conservative. the distintions as I know it are:

Liberal:
A "christian" who claims the bible for 'salvation or as i clal them ppl buying fire insurnce just in case its all true, but live any old way most of the time worse than those who dont do the bible

Conservative:
A 'Christian" who folows the bible to the 't' and even does the things that contradicts each other. Thinks that he is entirely right and no fault can be found in him. And anyone that does not do as he is is lost and going to burn forever and ever and ever and even if they do and he does and misses a single breath the wrong way they are lost/

I am mid ground between the two.

 

[Purple Haze]

I hate Dr. Laura.

Dr. Laura is a rude, annoying hypocrite. She also was divorced once, lived out of wed-lock, and spends too much time running an empire, away from her children. She hasn't spoken to her sister or mother for years. Isn't that special?

 

[Laurel]

Bad Boy!

Bobtoad - out of curiosity, where did you get those definitions? Are those in a dictionary that I'm not aware of, or is this a special Bob dialect? Shame, shame! You're bound by the same grammar laws as the rest of us English speakers!

 

[Laurel]

PH - you forgot that she also posed nude for her then-boyfriend Bill Ballance.

 

[Aranian]

Re: I hate Dr. Laura.

Dr. Laura is a rude, annoying hypocrite. She also was divorced once, lived out of wed-lock, and spends too much time running an empire, away from her children. She hasn't spoken to her sister or mother for years. Isn't that special?

Yes, but the bible says...

 

[Never]

You know bobtoad there are a large group of people who call themselves liberal Christians and would find your view of them more than a bit .. well.. insulting. I've also met many Conservative Christians who don't follow your definition. (Then again, there's always the OCC)

Perhaps you should only answer for yourself and not take it upon yourself to define other groups for them?

By the by, many people burn bulls in their backyards. It's called barbecue and it smells wonderful.
The ban on shellfish and hoofed animals was lifted in the NT and I believe a great deal of what was written in Leviticus was meant only for the priesthood.

That's only what I remember though, I'm certain I could be wrong as I do not have a bible handy.
If I did however, I would be whacking bobtoad with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[CreamyLady]

I first saw that letter on a pagan bulletin board. There was a mix of raucous laughter and outrage in response. Few groups appreciate the ironies of religious intolerance like witches.

Any show featuring the woman redefines trash TV. I listened to her dispensing her so-called therapy on the radio a few times. Some people obviously have a deep desire to be kicked; she is just the woman for the job.

 

[Deborah]

Hey Bobtoad, I don't really feel like repeating what I said on other threads on this subject. But to sum up my philosophy, the best way to attend church is in a casket; that way all the crap doesn't bother you nearly as much. And half of what preachers say is bullshit and the other half they don't and even believe themselves. And yes, I am a good little Christian girl and one day I'll be up in heaven having big fun because there is no marriage but plenty of sex.

 

[Bobtoad777]

You know bobtoad there are a large group of people who call themselves liberal Christians and would find your view of them more than a bit .. well.. insulting. I've also met many Conservative Christians who don't follow your definition. (Then again, there's always the OCC)

Perhaps you should only answer for yourself and not take it upon yourself to define other groups for them?

By the by, many people burn bulls in their backyards. It's called barbecue and it smells wonderful.
The ban on shellfish and hoofed animals was lifted in the NT and I believe a great deal of what was written in Leviticus was meant only for the priesthood.

That's only what I remember though, I'm certain I could be wrong as I do not have a bible handy.
If I did however, I would be whacking bobtoad with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deborah & Never,

I apologize for offending you with my classification, when I first joined/became a Christian I was a member for three years of a self professed Liberal christian Church, The church itself confused and espoused that they were in every way a liberal christian organization. my three years there and the mebers at the church , which was a small country church of just over 300 everyone of them fit my discription of a liberal christian, so if not all liberal christians are like this I am sorry.

After that somehow the bible College I went to New Brunswick Bible Intitute for three years was a conservative fundamental college and from that is what i made my basis for my definition of conservative christian.

Again i am sorry if my feinitions offended anyone here I can only define as to what I saw and interacted with.

 

[ANiceGuy]

Grat Dr. Laura satire!!!

Loved it.


I'm going to go look at the Dr. Laura pictures I snagged off the net and use up a case of Puffs!!!

ANiceGuy