An open letter to all arachnids

[cheerful_deviant]

Now let me start by saying I have no problem with you little guys. In fact I really appreciate all that you do, catching mosquitoes and earwigs around my house all summer long. It really is a community service and I thank you.

But having said that...

If another one of you little 8 legged freaks crawls inside my box of Pop Tarts at 10:00 at night again, it's open season!

 

[Guest]

i am NEVER eating at your house.
*deathly allergic*

 

[blackhaus7]

Now let me start by saying I have no problem with you little guys. In fact I really appreciate all that you do, catching mosquitoes and earwigs around my house all summer long. It really is a community service and I thank you.

But having said that...

If another one of you little 8 legged freaks crawls inside my box of Pop Tarts at 10:00 at night again, it's open season!

So shake the little bastard out on a mosquito.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

i am NEVER eating at your house.
*deathly allergic*

If I find the little bastard I'll mail you his flat carcass so the doctors can make you a serum.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

So shake the little bastard out on a mosquito.

It wasn't really a 'shake out the box' kindof reaction. It was more of a 'Hmmm... a Pop Tart would be good righ... AAAAAAA!!!!'

 

[TriggerHippie]

It wasn't really a 'shake out the box' kindof reaction. It was more of a 'Hmmm... a Pop Tart would be good righ... AAAAAAA!!!!'

You're a cute duck. Want I should catch and release the poor little thing for you?

 

[Guest]

If I find the little bastard I'll mail you his flat carcass so the doctors can make you a serum.

one of the trillion squillion reasons why i lurve you so much.

*wheres that story*

 

[blackhaus7]

It wasn't really a 'shake out the box' kindof reaction. It was more of a 'Hmmm... a Pop Tart would be good righ... AAAAAAA!!!!'

I'm always in the dark at this time of night. It is NOT unusual for a spider to drift down from the ceiling in front of me while I respond to something in AH. I think it's cool and let it move on by moving it's thread so that I won't step on it.

I have another spider story that I'll reserve for another time.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

You're a cute duck. Want I should catch and release the poor little thing for you?

Funny thing is, they really don't usually bother me. I grew up in the sticks and if you were afraid of spiders, you'd never leave the house (or go in the basement for that matter).

But at night, in a dark room, when half asleep and not at all expecting to see a creepy little bastard the size of a silver dollar...

Anyway. lord knows where he's off to now. The box hit the floor and the poptarts went flying. I assume he took refuge under something heavy that I'm to lazy to move tonight. I'm sure my daughters will find him tommorow and I'll have to catch him and let him out.

Maybe I'll drop him at my neighbors house. (I never liked him anyway. )

 

[cheerful_deviant]

one of the trillion squillion reasons why i lurve you so much.

*wheres that story*

(Still working on it. Patience Grasshopper.)

 

[Guest]

(Still working on it. Patience Grasshopper.)

fuck patience, gimme that goddamn marble.

 

[TriggerHippie]

fuck patience, gimme that goddamn marble.

If it's the one (or seven) I lost, I would like it back, pretty please. Cos I think I might be missing a few (or seven), but let's keep it quiet-ish, eh?

 

[cheerful_deviant]

fuck patience, gimme that goddamn marble.

It's only half a marble. Well... maybe 2/3rds of a marble.

 

[TriggerHippie]

Funny thing is, they really don't usually bother me. I grew up in the sticks and if you were afraid of spiders, you'd never leave the house (or go in the basement for that matter).

But at night, in a dark room, when half asleep and not at all expecting to see a creepy little bastard the size of a silver dollar...

Anyway. lord knows where he's off to now. The box hit the floor and the poptarts went flying. I assume he took refuge under something heavy that I'm to lazy to move tonight. I'm sure my daughters will find him tommorow and I'll have to catch him and let him out.

Maybe I'll drop him at my neighbors house. (I never liked him anyway. )

Your neighbor deserves it. <nods> Half-dollar sized you say? Epp! You might be on your own ... with a spider that big, I treat it like a snake and back away slowly while I forget how to breathe ....

 

[McKenna]

OMG! That's the funniest thing I've read all day!

 

[Boxlicker101]

Funny thing is, they really don't usually bother me. I grew up in the sticks and if you were afraid of spiders, you'd never leave the house (or go in the basement for that matter).

But at night, in a dark room, when half asleep and not at all expecting to see a creepy little bastard the size of a silver dollar...

Anyway. lord knows where he's off to now. The box hit the floor and the poptarts went flying. I assume he took refuge under something heavy that I'm to lazy to move tonight. I'm sure my daughters will find him tommorow and I'll have to catch him and let him out.

Maybe I'll drop him at my neighbors house. (I never liked him anyway. )

Whatever, just as long as you don't hurt him or her. Spiders are our friends, as you seen to already know.

 

[Lisa Denton]

It wasn't really a 'shake out the box' kindof reaction. It was more of a 'Hmmm... a Pop Tart would be good righ... AAAAAAA!!!!'

Imagine how the spider felt, he was mindin his own business, doin spidery stuffs, and thinkin ... a Pop Tart would be good righ... when he seen a giant duck screamin and runnin away on his tippy toes.




I love all animals, specially my dog, but insects and snakes should stay outside the house. I love nature outside, but inside the insects and snakes will get hit by a broom, at which point it becames useless to try and ascertain if they was poisonous or not.

Just think ............... if you have spiders in your pop tarts, what else is in your panties, uh, I mean pantry.

Perhaps, in a spiders mind, if you catch him and let him go outside, he will think he owes you his life, and will spend eternity guarding your pop tarts for you.

 

[Liar]

Used to live in a small-leggy-things heaven. If I didn't hermetically seal up my breakfast cereal they'd taste funny in the morning. I guess the ants crawled in and dry-humped the cornflakes at night or something.

Zip lock is your friend.

 

[impressive]

i am NEVER eating at your house.
*deathly allergic*

Wow! I've never met anyone who was allergic to Pop Tarts.

 

[Guest]

Wow! I've never met anyone who was allergic to Pop Tarts.

its to the "pop"
never to the 'tart'

 

[rgraham666]

Always interested in spiders, they're very cool.

Check this out CD. Let me know what spider it was. I'd love to know.

 

[TheEarl]

You've got my sympathy CD. I caught a spider last night. It was big enough that I couldn't catch it with a pint mug. It was bigger than the diameter!

As I threw it outside, I uttered my, now-ubiquitous, catchphrase when I find a spider: "God, I love my hypnotist."

The Earl

 

[FallingToFly]

You've got my sympathy CD. I caught a spider last night. It was big enough that I couldn't catch it with a pint mug. It was bigger than the diameter!

The Earl

Oh, are you visiting Florida?

Seriously- the spiders that invade my house in the spring and sumer are absolutely terrifying if you DON'T have arachnaphobia, which I unfortunately do. (Along with a scar on my left cheek from a pissed off mama wolf spider who was just minding her own business as she crawled across my face. It cured me of lying on the floor talking on the phone all night with friends.) I can handle spiders that are outside, at a distance. If they're in the house, I will instantly turn into a pale, shaking, twitching ball of nerves, and I can't realx until the spider has been disposed of.

I thing the most amusing thing is that you'll catch it and let it go for the sake of your daughters, CD. You do know that house spiders can't survive outside, right? You'd be kinder to just smoosh it and get it over with. Round here, spiders over a certain size are handled with one of the many swords that live under my bed. Under that size, my children kill them for me, and then spend the next five minutes petting me and telling me that it's all okay.

 

[SeaCat]

LOLOL

I love spiders, or at least most of them. (In Upstate New York we had a tiny little red one that got into everything and drove us nuts. We called them Barn Spiders and used Bug Spray on them.)

That being said I have almost lost my leg to one. (Rabid Wold Spider in New England.)

I usually escort them outside and let them go, as I do with Lizards and most other bugs. (Cockroaches I kill and Palmetto Bugs are fun treats for my cats.)

The only bug I kill outright, other than 'Roaches are Wasps. I'm allergic to them and when I find a nest I destroy it.

Cat

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Always interested in spiders, they're very cool.

Check this out CD. Let me know what spider it was. I'd love to know.

I'm pretty sure it was one of these guys, a Grass Spider, that somehow wandered into the house:

http://www.whatsthatbug.com/images/grass_spider_dee.jpg

They are very common around here and occasionally turn up in our basement (100 year old house, you can never keep them out).

I thing the most amusing thing is that you'll catch it and let it go for the sake of your daughters, CD. You do know that house spiders can't survive outside, right? You'd be kinder to just smoosh it and get it over with.

This guy was definitly not an indoor spider. He was most certianly an outdoor spider who found his way inside. Pretty much all the spiders up here do fine outside for the summer anyway. When winter comes... well, Circle of Life and all. (I let them go in the basement in the winter when I find them. Don't tell my wife, she thinks I kill them. She hates spiders.)