An old one of mine

[Goodguy2]

Well, what do you think?



The House is Full


The house is full
Emptiness permeates throughout
Draining the occupants of life
Where is the love that binds
The love that heals all
That protects all in difficult times
Where did it go
So long since I’ve felt it
Or was it ever there

The house is full
Silence echoes through its halls
So loud, deafening to the soul
The ears, upon which the silence falls
Slowly growing weaker
Until nothing is heard
Silence or tone

The house is full
Numbness creeping through the doors
Working its way
Into the hearts of those
Who reside in its confines
Like an anesthetic it deadens the soul
Creating a life of pain

The house is full
Anger stewing in the caldron once called home
Evaporating and condensing upon the walls
Creating stains never to be erased.

 

[_Land]

Great Poem GG2, thanks for sharing.............. I know that feeling, I've been to disney land, I've ridden that ride

Well, what do you think?



The House is Full


The house is full
Emptiness permeates throughout
Draining the occupants of life
Where is the love that binds
The love that heals all
That protects all in difficult times
Where did it go
So long since I’ve felt it
Or was it ever there

The house is full
Silence echoes through its halls
So loud, deafening to the soul
The ears, upon which the silence falls
Slowly growing weaker
Until nothing is heard
Silence or tone

The house is full
Numbness creeping through the doors
Working its way
Into the hearts of those
Who reside in its confines
Like an anesthetic it deadens the soul
Creating a life of pain

The house is full
Anger stewing in the caldron once called home
Evaporating and condensing upon the walls
Creating stains never to be erased.

 

[Goodguy2]

Thanks _land

Great Poem GG2, thanks for sharing.............. I know that feeling, I've been to disney land, I've ridden that ride

Tough times. Thankful they are over though. Kinda wierd going back reading some of this stuff. I don't know if you do it but it takes me back there as if it were yesterday.

I hope your ride is over.

GG2

 

[_Land]

Re: Thanks _land

Tough times. Thankful they are over though. Kinda wierd going back reading some of this stuff. I don't know if you do it but it takes me back there as if it were yesterday.

I hope your ride is over.

GG2

I wish it was, and wish my three children wernt on it either........................But this to shall pass

 

[Goodguy2]

Sorry to hear that _land

I wish it was, and wish my three children wernt on it either........................But this to shall pass

Hey _land,

Sorry about that. Hopefully it will pass for you and your children soon. Till then though, keep the faith and let yourkids know you love them.

GG2

 

[_Land]

Re: Sorry to hear that _land

Hey _land,

Sorry about that. Hopefully it will pass for you and your children soon. Till then though, keep the faith and let yourkids know you love them.

GG2

Thanks GG, I always will and do

 

[Angeline]

Let's hear it for my paisanos!

Why is it that whenever GG posts a serious poem here, he never gets any feedback? (How was that, GG--you were right, so I figured I'd repeat it.) So here he posts the poem and only his paisano, _Land, answers. Well, I'm kinda an honorary paisano,so I'll take a crack at it.

The House is Full


The house is full
Emptiness permeates throughout
Draining the occupants of life
Where is the love that binds
The love that heals all
That protects all in difficult times
Where did it go
So long since I’ve felt it
Or was it ever there

The house is full
Silence echoes through its halls
So loud, deafening to the soul
The ears, upon which the silence falls
Slowly growing weaker
Until nothing is heard
Silence or tone

The house is full
Numbness creeping through the doors
Working its way
Into the hearts of those
Who reside in its confines
Like an anesthetic it deadens the soul
Creating a life of pain

The house is full
Anger stewing in the caldron once called home
Evaporating and condensing upon the walls
Creating stains never to be erased.
____________________________________________
The theme is one I've seen before: house as metaphor for love and sustanance or lack thereof (and used in my much shorter After Wedding 1).

This is a very good poem. It's visually balanced, some nice extended metaphors, too. I would prune it back somewhat. It's a bit redundent here and there, has a few spots that border on cliche, and some unnecessary verbage, which I think lessens the overall impact. (trust me gg, that last is a hard-learned lesson for me).

 

[JUDO]

Well, what do you think?

Here are some edits - just another pair of eyes looking at your stuff.

The House is Full

Emptiness permeates throughout,
Draining the occupants of life.

Where is the love that binds -
The love that heals all -
Protecting in difficult times.
Where did it go?

So long since I’ve felt it...

Silence echoes through endless halls;
So loud, deafening to the soul.
The ears upon which it falls
Slowly grow weaker
Until nothing is heard.

Numbness creeps through the doors,
Working its way
Into the hearts of those
Who reside in the sharp confines --
Like an anesthetic that deadens the soul,
Creating a life of pain.

Anger stews in this caldron
Evaporating, then condensing upon our walls,
Creating stains never to be erased.

* * *


- Judo

 

[Goodguy2]

Thanks Angie and JUDO

For taking the time to check it out.

Angie, I do need to get better at cutting words or using better words. Plus, I need to get away from the Cliche things too.

JUDO, I like what ya did with it. It gives me food for thought.

I wrote this thing too many years ago to remember. Problem is I think my writing is still like this. I need to practice more and get away from old habits.

Thanks again!

Terry