An observation about life and death and everything in between.

[FlamingoBlue]

This has been a helluva few days for me. Last Saturday evening I got a call from the hospital and was told that my bother had a stroke. Turned out that he has a brain tumor that "died" but didn't kill him in the process. He will likely be okay in about 9 months,with time and meds doing the healing. Today I called my office to let them know what was going on and was told that one of my suitemates had died of a heart attack, last night, at age 65. Last year another of my suitemates, age 27, was killed in an auto accident. Lat month I was told that one of the secretary's husbands had inoperable brain cancer. Today a clent called and said her brother died and that she would be away at his funeral.

So, today I check in on the BB and see that it is business as usual. Threads about this and that. Nothing real heavy and most of it real light. You know what? That's what life is all about. And I accept it.

The wonderful thing about life is that it goes on--- with or without us. It is what we make of it that is important.

Today, I'm home recovering from the last few days, with the help of a little vodka and some good friends. I am preparing for a trial, next week that will likely leave a family reeling for years to come. It will be horrible and I will try my hardest to settle the case, but it will never happen because one of the parties MUST be right and the other MUST be wrong. And so it goes.

blue

[Edited by FlamingoBlue on 12-05-2000 at 10:29 AM]

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Exactly my way of thinking.....

Life goes on - it's like, no shit. No duh.

When I'm gone I don't want anyone who knew me, loved me, whatever - to miss a freakin' beat. In fact I insist upon it. I've even thought of "insuring it."

I've thought of planning - at the right time of course - my disappearance. Not just my own demise - but my complete and utter removal from existence.

Poof! Sparky's gone. I'd leave a note, sure - don't want to keep them guessing forever - but I'd send it well after I went poof!!!!

No fuss, no muss - life goes on. Somebody slips right on in yer spot and the machine keeps turnin'.

 

[Expertise]

Care to fill us in on how you propose to accomplish that Sparky.

Death has never frightened me, it is the welfare of those that I would leave behind that concerns me more.

Expertise the original fatalist.

No I don't have a death wish. I just believe that when its your time its your time. I will fight it with every fiber of my being but it will at some point come to me as it will come to us all.

 

[Darowyn]

Life - it's just a phase we're going through

I'm a convinced reincarnationist. It has it's serious side, but my favourite bit is the way that I can say.
"I don't worry about dying. I've been dead before and it never did me any harm."
I hope I will be able, many years from now, to have as my last words "See you soon"

 

[FlamingoBlue]

SPARKY, you'll never die....

As long as you are loved by those that are still alive.


blue

 

[Mustang Sally]

Yep, amazingly, life does go on, the world keeps turning, etc. And eventually, even those left behind go on, without meaning to or even realizing it. Death is a part of life, no matter how tragic and unfair that sometimes seems.

Poof! Sparky's gone. I'd leave a note, sure - don't want to keep them guessing forever - but I'd send it well after I went poof!!!!

No fuss, no muss - life goes on. Somebody slips right on in yer spot and the machine keeps turnin'.

Umm, geez Spark, I think that would be far more traumatic for your loved ones than if you just croaked one day. With no opportunity for closure, they would dwell on it for years, even after you send the note, wondering "why?" and "what did I do wrong?" and "I thought he was happy."

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Death is our reason for living....

It reminds us that everything has and end. Enjoy the gift of life while you can. Remmber, we all hang here by a thread that can be broken at any time. And as I speak I take another swig of vodka and another puff off my Sherman MCD. Life, it's wondeful!!!

 

[TN_Vixen]

Blue

Sounds to me like you have a round of bad luck in your office. I'd take the hint and duck out while you can. (smile)

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I have some close experience dealing with a recovering stroke victim and he has no easy road ahead of him. I wish him a quick and full recovery.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I often fantasize.....

about covering my naked body in gasoline atop the Empire State building, striking up an Ohio Blue Tip match on my front teeth and swan diving - in perfect form of course - off the side.

Ziiiiiip! Splat!

But I think a machine shop, closed for a long holiday and a big ole vat-o-acid would do the trick just fine.

An acid bath for ole Sparky. Sparky down the drain.

A cave in the desert could be fun - you know - just starve there. Or the mountains - way out. It would be cool to make sure that I placed myself so that my corpse was in an interesting position when some explorer found my bones years later. Perhaps I could be grinning while flipping the bird? Or maybe my hands could be mimicking whacking off?

I love the image.

 

[TN_Vixen]

LOL

picturing a smiling skeletal version of sparks hunched over and jacking off.

The team of scientists gather 'round. "And what primitive tradition do you suppose could've led to the positioning of the body in this manner?" hehe

And, sparks.. you think about diving aflame OFTEN? Really? I would hope you meant sporadically or during times of heavy inebriation... not often... often?

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Sparky, as you float down 100+ stories

with your schwantz in your hand, don't you wish that you had a falafel sandwich in your other hand??


blue

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I think of death often.....

sure, why not?

I'm not suicidal or anything.

I think about death and everyone, everybody, dieing all the time. My family, my loved ones - individually or in groups. Me going naturally, me taking my own - whatever. I even often think of global destruction - I mean - everybody's diein' in that thought.

Thoughts of death enable me to appreciate living - even more than I do normally. I find it to be healthy.......

for me.

 

[Guest]

 

[TN_Vixen]

I was thinking specifics

more or less about you aflame... I don't consider thoughts of death to be unusual or symptomatic of suicidal tendencies, I just (literally) interpreted you saying "often" with diving aflame as a bit odd...

I visualize scenes sometimes that really disturb me and I wonder where my mind conjures them from.

Last night my son and ex-husband were riding together in his truck in front of me on the interstate going to practice when suddenly in my mind's eye I saw the front of his truck hit the concrete barrier, flip into the air burst in flame and my son dead and bleeding on the side of the road. What? Ok, where did that come from?

But, I think of death too... not necessarily in the grand style as you do, sparks.. *wink*

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

How often is often.......

The creative mind "thinks stuff up" that is all. Any stuff. It doesn't care if it's a bad thought or a good thought. I have many good thoughts - but I believe that I have an equal number of bad thoughts - hey - sometimes the bad thoughts are good thoughs too. Like my skeleton with a smile flipping the bird. I like that thought. I have thoughts of total and vivid carnage - so. I often think of commiting crime. I like to think that I could commit many a perfect crime. In fact I have. I think of everything. I had a pumpkin to get rid of last night - most folks would simply throw it away - I took it out on the street and put in on top of a phone booth. My goal is to see just how long it stays there - it's kinda hard to reach. See? Weird but I like that kind of stuff.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

And how many of us....

really think about this stuff. We are all so busy with picking up the cleaning and paying the bills. This stuff really isn't that important, is it??

blue

 

[forgetunome]

Life goes on and on and on....

Yes...I have spent time thinking about how short life can be and use to lay awake at night when I was younger worried that I would die and if I did how would my loved ones feel about it...would they miss me...etc.

But...when I almost lost my husband in a fire...it hit me hard in the face....I realized all those "little" things that use to bug me....really weren't that bad after all! Like leaving the toilet seat up, taking his socks off and leaving them on the floor, and leaving his sleeves rolled up on his flannel shirts so that I have to unroll them when I do laundry. When he lay in the burn ward at Harborview burnward....all of those things I missed dearly!! They meant he wasn't there and I would be thankful he didn't actually die so that he would be back home to do all of those things!!

The fire was a freak accident he was trying to prime a carburetor of a car that had been sitting for months that didn't have a lot of gas in it. And when he went to pour in a bit more gas there had to have been a hidden flame under the butterfly that he couldn't see so when the gas went in the flame or spark caught the fumes and went up his arm and totally engulfed him from his waist to his head! I was sitting in the car at the time and cranking on the starter when he told me to and then turning it to the off position. It was in the off position when this happened. (Oh God this happened 10 years ago and I still start crying when I think of it) When I saw the wall of flames with legs (that's all I could see) I was in hysterics running after him...he tore off his jacket and started rolling on the ground...I took my jacket off and fell on top of him trying to help put it out. Just before it was out I had thoughts of letting myself go up in flames with him because I didn't want to live without him. But, thankfully we got the flames out. My jacket was over his head and I was terrified to take it off...I didn't know what I was going to be faced with...would he just be ashes??? I didn't know I was terrified...slowly I pulled back and thankfully he was still alive but, severely burnt...if you've never seen flesh that has been burnt it's not pretty! But....he was ALIVE!! He told me to go call 911...so I ran to the closest business which was an Lube Shop...(we were at a house of a friends who wasn't home at the time so we couldn't go in their house to call....we had been storing this car there) I ran in to call and was so frustrated when I asked to call 911 they looked at me and said "WHY" I said why do you think....I need an ambulance...my husbands been burnt and he needs help asap! So the guy begrudgingly called for me still skeptical...and handed me the phone. After I got off the phone I ran back and I still remember his words, He was crying and he said "Oh God I'm going to be so UGLY and you won't love me anymore!" Of course I held him and told him "No way he would always be handsome to me!" While I was gone he had had the presence of mind to know he was still in shock and basically peeled his face off. ( I know gruesome but, come to find out from the doctors this is why he healed without scars!)

Anyway, I can go on about this but, my point is I know how precious life is and you only have one and if you don't enjoy it now you won't get to...tomorrow or the next day!! So be lighthearted and have fun....serious has it's time and place but....get out there and enjoy life!!! And the next time your loved one does something that irritates you stop and think "what if he/she dies and I never have that to deal with again!"

To this day I can't watch fire scenes in movies or if people end up in flames I usually bury my head on my husbands shoulder...I know what the horror is in real life! It doesn't bother him because he didn't have the visual!! He was just trying to fight for his life!!

So live, love, laugh!!!!!!!