An interesting poetry challenge

[KillerMuffin]

I found an interesting picture and it made me think of poetry, for some odd reason. In particular, the stillness I got from the picture made me think of verbs.

Anyway, you can find the picture here: http://www.urban75.org/paris/paris050.html

I don't like to hotlink.

The challenge:

Write a poem of at least 5 lines but no more than 10. Each line must contain at least two non-gerund verbs. No adverbs and you may not use any colors as an adjective. The poem should be in iambic pentameter (it's comfy), but no rhyme scheme is necessary.

Why is this a challenge? It's a passive picture.

If that's not challenging enough for you, then do it with no adjectives either.

 

[_Land]

You call that a challenge

I can do that with my eyes closed, with my hands tied behind my back................ well now thats a mental image......

 

[JUDO]

Thank you for sharing the inspiration, KM.


- Judo

-------------------------------------------------

The Pangs of Focused Regret

The age of time reflects the foe that hides
In days too dim recalled to light our way.
But what is it that jars our wanderlust
And sends a silent tune to tease our play?

They stretch along the streets we pass each day
To focus eyes ahead on goals we vow.
Oh, seldom glance we left and right to see
A sight familiar then, but not so now.

Around each corner lies a life renewed -
Some old, some kind, or weathered,rust, and glued.

-------------------------------------------------

 

[_Land]

Judo

Thank you for sharing the inspiration, KM.


- Judo

-------------------------------------------------

The Pangs of Focused Regret

The age of time reflects the foe that hides
In days too dim recalled to light our way.
But what is it that jars our wanderlust
And sends a silent tune to tease our play?

They stretch along the streets we pass each day
To focus eyes ahead on goals we vow.
Oh, seldom glance we left and right to see
A sight familiar then, but not so now.

Around each corner lies a life renewed -
Some old, some kind, or weathered,rust, and glued.

-------------------------------------------------

You just live for these dont you I had too ask what a non-gerund verb was....................

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Judo

You just live for these dont you I had too ask what a non-gerund verb was....................

I think she was refering to non-present-participal verbs (-ing: eating, drinking, sleeping)

A gerund verb also ends with -ing but it's used as a noun (like when you refer to your writing)

Interesting challenge, KM

 

[_Land]

Re: Re: Judo

I think she was refering to non-present-participal verbs (-ing: eating, drinking, sleeping)

A gerund verb also ends with -ing but it's used as a noun (like when you refer to your writing)

Interesting challenge, KM

I spose i really should learn a few more things about writing, perhaps i would write something decent then......im unedimucated

 

[_Land]

You will have to tell me my mistakes

I am not a literary Genius, im just a high school drop out......never the less here is my Feeble atempt
I cant even claim to understand Iambic pantameter so dont expect to much....._Land

Colorful Lies

Alternate stripes, weave your thread
tell me your lie, what havn't you said
add some more color, mix it up right
can you even believe? what you say tonight
the paint peels as fast as you stroke
I look on, thankfull I brought my raincoat

 

[JUDO]

Re: You will have to tell me my mistakes

I am not a literary Genius, im just a high school drop out......never the less here is my Feeble atempt
I cant even claim to understand Iambic pantameter so dont expect to much....._Land

Colorful Lies

Alternate stripes, weave your thread
tell me your lie, what havn't you said
add some more color, mix it up right
can you even believe? what you say tonight
the paint peels as fast as you stroke
I look on, thankfull I brought my raincoat

Stuff

All words have syllables within them that are stressed when pronounced. For example:

Al-ter-nate has the stress or accent on the first syllable.

a-bout has the stress or accent on the second syllable.

ri-dic-u-lous has the accent on the second of four syllables.

An iamb (pronounced EYE-amb) is a poetic foot described as conatining two syllables a short one followed by a long one or an unaccented followed by an accented one.

Pentameter (pronounced pen-TAM-i-ter OR PENT-a-MEE-ter depending on usage) is a line of verse containing five feet (see iamb above).

So an example of a line of verse in iambic pentameter would be:

Upon his breast there lay a sword of steel.

Where the accented syllables are in bold type.

* * *

In your poem "Colorful lies":

You are missing another verb (you have one) in the first line.

thankful has one too many "ls."

Try it again with iambic pentameter. You'll find that some words are very difficult to work into the meter required - "al-ter-nate" being one of them. "Al-ter-nat-ing" is easier, but KM has asked us to avoid gerunds (I think she knows the difficulties of the meter and is making is harder for us).

Best of luck.


- Judo

 

[_Land]

Thanks for the help JUDO, I will work on it, I used alternate and weave as my verbs in the first line, does one not count?

 

[_Land]

Re: You will have to tell me my mistakes

Edited version

Colorful Lies

Rotate stripes, weave your thread
tell me your lie, what havn't you said
add some more color, mix it up right
can you even believe? what you say tonight
the paint peels as fast as you stroke
I look on, thankful I brought my raincoat






I guess my question is, is the stress where you place it or based on pronunciation?

 

[JUDO]

Well, I read alternate as an adjective there. Hmmm...

It's not a choice where to place it. Although, some words have different stresses depending on whether you are using the noun or verb or adverb definition of the word. Sorry, I don't have a great handy example of that one, but the "alternate" and "alternating" listed above should give you the picture.

Most dictionaries have pronounciation guides with the accents delineated before the etymology.

- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

It's not a choice where to place it. Although, some words have different stresses depending on whether you are using the noun or verb or adverb definition of the word. Sorry, I don't have a great handy example of that one, but the "alternate" and "alternating" listed above should give you the picture.

Most dictionaries have pronounciation guides with the accents delineated before the etymology.

- Judo

I'm pretty sure that, sometimes, it can be a matter of choice. I think you can say pen-TAM-i-ter OR PENT-a-MEE-ter depending more on personal choice and languistic purism than by the usage of the word. You should pronounce IN-ter-est-ed, but some people rush the 2nd and 3rd syllables together and say IN-tres-ted. And how often do you hear something like BEE-OO-ti-ful? It's not something you want to do just because "it doesn't fit", but language can be streched at times. Do it wisely, though. When in doubt, just do what pronounciation guides tell you to.

 

[_Land]

Thanks Lauren

I'm pretty sure that, sometimes, it can be a matter of choice. I think you can say pen-TAM-i-ter OR PENT-a-MEE-ter depending more on personal choice and languistic purism than by the usage of the word. You should pronounce IN-ter-est-ed, but some people rush the 2nd and 3rd syllables together and say IN-tres-ted. And how often do you hear something like BEE-OO-ti-ful? It's not something you want to do just because "it doesn't fit", but language can be streched at times. Do it wisely, though. When in doubt, just do what pronounciation guides tell you to.

(*Crosses His Legs, raises his fingers to the sky, and asks for help from his pronunciation guide*) I told ya'all I wasnt a literary genius, but I am learning, Thank you all for your patient hand in helping me along the way.......I love slow touch _Land

 

[Floater]

photo-poem challenge

Orange peels, even the blues lose hold.

Our colours are silly; they can't match the blank

Bleach of time which survives everything. I told

Myself, dress down; I wear brown now. I shoulder

Through air that weighs more, that costs more. I bank

My pleasures and thank God, I taste, then fold

Each one in my memory. I'm not old,

But my body surely is. It falters now

To reach its final blind corner, but is glad, somehow.

 

[meander]

Another day and he walks
Wondering
Why his gaze must draw again
To the taunting nothing
Of the grey wall.
Have the years not yet
Enured him to his weakness?
Yes he can descry
some subtlties
in the drab lines competing.
Color blindness be damned!
Just a splash of hue
Once
A sudden radiance
Even if but fleeting.

 

[lickmyboot]

Okay...I think I followed most of the rules with the exception of iambic pentameter. I know what it is when I read it, but making my thoughts conform to it is very difficult for me. Open to suggestions here!

Dans La Rue
Sudden mem'ries revealed and rubbed away
within fleck-hued stripes, worn and weathered
like Paris--hard Springs bled, withered like an old man's knuckle
Color faded, but still alive--dreams of long ago.