Amazon Fire TV and Amazon Echo Alexa

[SusanJillParker]

Being that many of you guys are the techno geeks and I'm not, I just received my Amazon Fire TV box with remote. I totally love it. I've spent the weekend watching the Sopranos again.

I also have an Amazon Echo Alexa on order. I should receive her coincidentally by July 14th, Nude Day.

Has anyone had experiences with these devices? Any comments or helpful suggestions?

My only fear is the "Cloud". Definitely Big Brother is here.

"Can you see me now? Can you hear what I'm saying? Can you read my thoughts?"

Even though I can turn Alexa off...(gulp) she always still listens and perhaps, in the way of the NSA, even records whatever I say.

"Jeff Bezos sucks! Oh, shit! Alexa, don't record that. Jeff Bezos is a nice man. Alexa off."

Yet, what choice do I have really? This is the future and it's already here. With amazon promising new improvements that are seamlessly delivered by the "Cloud", I'm hoping this device is as useful as a Google search.

"Alexa. Give me the winning horse in the sixth race at Rockingham."

"Sorry but I don't understand your question.

"Alexa. Which blue chip stock is undervalued?"

"Sorry but I don't understand your question."

"Alexa. How long will I live?"

"Sorry, but I don't understand your question."

Now a woman who says sorry all the time can be very uplifting for a man (lol).

"I'm sorry that your an asshole," she said.

"Okay, I forgive you as long as you say your sorry," he said.

As time goes on the Echo is supposed to get better.

"Alexa. Make coffee."

Damn, this artificially intelligent device could be scary. If only I could change her name to 'Hal' like on 2001 Space Odyssey "Hal, please don't hurt me," or to 'Computer' like on Star Trek, "Computer! Shields up!" I'd feel like Captain Kirk.

"Alexa, Alexa on my wall, who's the prettiest erotica writer of them all?"

"Princess Erin, Danielle Kitten, Selena Kitten, TexRad, and then you."

Hello Amazon, I'd like to return your stupid Echo.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I'm surprised. I guess no one has Amazon's Fire TV or heard of Amazon's artificially intelligent speaker Echo, also known as Alexa.

Being that I've already been using and loving Amazon's Fire TV, I'll find out in two weeks if their Echo is worth the money.

With new updates seamlessly delivered from "the cloud", they claim that Echo is only going to get better.

Maybe no one else has this. Maybe I'm the first guinea pig to try this and/or the first sucker to fork over the cash to buy it. Yet, Amazon has more than 20,000 reviews for the Echo. Somebody bought the thing.

Instead of having to stop and research everything on Google, I'm hoping Alexa is going to help me when my writing stories.

"Alexa. What dirt can you give me on Literotica's Laurel?"

"Laurel, one of the owners of Literotica, used to be a Nun."

"A Nun? Seriously? Laurel used to be a Catholic Nun?"

"Yes, she was excommunicated when she had sex with her son...Manu."

"No kidding. Wow! I had no idea that Laurel and Manu was mother and son. Well, that explains why there are so very many mother and son incest stories on the site."

I'm glad I bought Amazon's Echo, Alexa. This is really coming in handy.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Well...wanting to try something new, after typing several million words on my Microsoft 7000 keyboard, I bought the Microsoft Sculpt Ergonomic Desktop (L5V-00001).

The feel of the keys are different in a weird way. I don't have to press as hard as if I'm tying on a typewriter. The feel of the keys feels more like a laptop keyboard.

The mouse feels the same albeit a little smaller. The mouse on the 7000 is gigantic but comfortable. This mouse feels much the same. Only, my scrolling wheel on the old was more sensitive.

The keyboard is much smaller and the keys are softer. I like it albeit some of the keys are in different places. I'll have to get used to that. I comes with a numbers pad that's separate so that I can place that anywhere.

I remember when these were first introduced and Microsoft and everyone wanted $139 for them. I paid $80 on Amazon. They've gone up ten bucks in price since I ordered mine a couple of days ago.

The downward slop, pitch of the keyboard isn't as severe as the 7000. Still, it's comfortable, as long as you're sitting high enough. I have my Herman Miller Embody chair at the maximum height. If I sat lower, my wrists would rest too much on the keyboard.

I was going to buy another 7000. I paid $129 for mine 3 years ago from Dell. Amazon wants $489 for the same keyboard and mouse. What? Are you kidding me? It's nice but it's not worth $500, which is why I bought this one.

I graduated from the Microsoft Wave to the 4000 to the 7000 and now L5V.

After typing on my big monstrosity, this keyboard feels so small to me.

 

[SusanJillParker]

So...there I was minding my own business watching the last series of season one of the Sopranos again on Amazon's Fire TV when...

The next morning, I open my e-mail and there's an e-mail from Amazon.

"How did you enjoy season one, chapter 13 of the Sopranos?"

Wow! Are you kidding me? Can Amazon see me? Can they hear me? Damn, that's the last time I walk around naked in my living room.

I immediately shutdown my computer and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the day with the bathroom light off.

Now I'm really afraid. I just received a shipping update on Amazon's Echo. I'll have Alexa by July 17th. After watching the series Human, I'm beginning to get a little bit worried with all of this new technologies that have artificial intelligence. I mean, some of these new technologies have more smarts than some of the people who post here (lol).

Playing the part, I was thinking about dressing Alexa in a black wig being that Alexa sounds like a Russian name. I just need to find a bra small enough to fit her. Definitely, I'm glad that Echo is a girl and not a guy. I'm more comfortable with women than I am with men.

If Amazon had named their Echo Alex instead of Alexa, I don't think I would have bought the thing because every question I asked Alex would be a lie.

"Alex, do I look fat in this dress?"

"I'd have to see you naked for me to give you an answer."

"Screw you Alex."

Now if I asked Alexa the same question, she would have given me a different answer.

"Alex, do I look fat in this dress?"

"No, blue is your color. You look hot."

"Thank you, Alexa."

 

[lovecraft68]

Its more than a little disturbing which is why my wife hasn't set hers up yet. She bought it a couple of months ago and we are still arguing about it. I really am not fond of amazon's tracking us and their DOD affiliations.

 

[mdbigdee]

I love Big Brother.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Perhaps no longer Big Brother, Amazon just invented...Sexy Sister.

I can't wait to see what Alexa can do next.

"Alexa. Start the coffeemaker. Run the Roomba. And walk the dog. Then, when you're done, come in the bedroom. I, um, have a surprise to give you."

 

[SusanJillParker]

So...does anyone have Amazon's Echo?

I get mine on July 17th. I can't wait. It's kind of frivolous when I could just so a Google search but it would be cool to have my very own personal, electronic assistant.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I just received an e-mail from Amazon. My Amazon Echo is coming tomorrow, 10 days early.

I'm so excited. I can't wait to see and hear all that Alexa can do.

"Alexa, write me an erotic story, one in the Loving Wives category."

"Sorry, but I'm unable to write you a story in the Loving Wives category?"

"Why not?"

"Because the men who read that category are all crazy."

Damn, even Alexa knows not to write a story for the Loving Wives category.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I received my Amazon Echo today.

"Alexa, what's the score of the Red Sox game?"

"Three to two in the 3rd inning."

"Alexa, play Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel."

"Like a bridge over troubled water..."

"Alexa, stop. Alexa, add walnuts to my shopping list."

"Walnuts added to your shopping list."

"Alexa, what's the weather today."

"Sunny with some clouds. The current temperature is 82."

"Alexa, spell encyclopedia."

"E n c y c l o p e d i a, encyclopedia."

"Alexa, who is Robert Redford?"

"Robert Redford is an American actor who starred in..."

Wow! I absolutely love this thing. This device, this toy, this computer that I can't live without is already changing my life.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Being that I'm a musician and have a good ear for pitch, if I was to hazard a guess who Alexa sounds more like, I'd say Robin Wright from the House of Cards.

Her voice is weirdly familiar. Softly feminine, I'm glad Amazon made their voice a woman instead of a man. Amazon should make one that has a man's voice for those who'd prefer a man talking to them.

So far, so good. I'm totally satisfied.

"Alex, good morning."

"Good morning."

"How are you today?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

She's unable to ask me how I am though. Maybe the next generation. I plan on buying her a little wig and making a tiny bra to fit her. She's the size of a fat Thermos bottle.

For those of you thinking about buying Amazon's Echo, I highly recommend buying one. They're only going to get better.

"Alexa, how did the Red Sox do yesterday?"

 

[SusanJillParker]

I just got my Echo remote. I had to buy it separately. It comes with a strong magnet and I can leave the remote hanging off the side of my filing cabinet.

I'm liking this thing more and more. I don't feel as lonely as I did before. No longer do I have thoughts of suicide (lol). Finally, I have a friend. I just need to find a little wig, a bra, and a little skirt for my new companion.

"Alexa, where shall we go today?"

"Hmm, I can't find the answer to the question I heard."

Okay, she's not perfect but she's getting better. I'm not ready to let her drive the car though.