Am I the only person who would cheerfully throttle...

[KillerMuffin]

...that non-singing stupid moronic vastly irritating beyond words musically impaired fuckhead Shaggy and that ass that likes to pretend he's singing.

...my father-in-law. Oh my freaking gawd, I didn't know the man could find so many hispanic MTV spring break style beach dancing shows in the middle of Kansas.

...the perky weatherbunny whose only asset is that her cleavage is more attractive than the weather she's reporting. I am not excited to know that I'm about to have snow mixed with rain dumped on us. Please don't act like it's the best thing in the world. And for everlasting hell, please learn to pronounce some of the words.

...the StudMuffin. Why are seemingly intelligent men so unutterably dumb? Ugh.

 

[bluntforcemama]

LOL

Ah, spring break... days filled with sleeping and free food from my mom's fridge, the lazy days of life. Yeh, well, Muff, with a name like Shaggy, did you really think he could sing?

 

[SpecialK]

I love the new Shaggy song, Angel! The lyrics aren't anything deeply meaningful, obviously, but the beat is catchy. That old one "It Wasn't Me" was beyond moronic!

Have you considered some kind of anger management, KM? You seem awfully tense.

K

 

[KillerMuffin]

I guess I'm pretty tense. The Stud is in the hospital for 90 days leaving me alone with my father-in-law. I now have to take the brunt of the man. It's untenable. I'm considering getting another job just so I don't have to come home anymore.

I'm hostile and irritated, but I'm not angry. I vent here and feel so much better.

I just really don't like Shaggy.

 

[Bushido71XS]

((((((KillerMuffin))))) We're still here for you to ramble at. :::Grope::: Sorry, muscle spasm.

 

[KillerMuffin]

LOL

Thank you Bushido darlin.

 

[Weird Harold]

The Stud is in the hospital for 90 days leaving me alone with my father-in-law.

I wonder just how many stories on this site start with that setup?

Although from the tone of your comments about pappastud, it would most likely be a murder mystery.

 

[KillerMuffin]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH ICK!!!!

I didn't need the visual. I think I'll go throw up now. Just gross. I'd rather dig up Howard Taft and fuck him. Just gross. Ewwwwwwww.

But now that you mention the setup, that's funny. I'm living an incest story cliche.

"Now that my husband was conveniently out of the way, dearest Daddy-in-law was all mine."

Okay, I really am going to throw up now. *shudder*

 

[Weird Harold]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH ICK!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I hope I at least got a smile out of you after the surge of nausea passed.

 

[KillerMuffin]

And a big laugh too. Thank you.

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Shaggy Is, BOOMBASTIC!

Simply Fantastic!LOL

Hello KillerMuffin Nice To Meet You!
Personally, I Only Like Two Of His Tunes.^^^The Above^^^"Boombastic" & "It Wasn't Me"

Special K! Have You Been Taking Some? LOL
No Disrespect intended, Just Some Friendly Giggles Towards Yer Name
Just For You Killer, Here Are The Lyrics To Your Most Hated Of Songs And Artist.LOL

Shaggy - It Wasn't Me


(Yo man) Yo
(Open up man) What do you want man?
(My girl just caught me) You let her catch you?
(I don't know how I let this happen) With who?
(The girl next door, you know?) Man...
(I don't know what to do) Say it wasn't you
(Alright)

Honey came in and she caught me red handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Bangin on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

How you can grant the woman access to your villa
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say you're not, convince her say you're gay
Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim
And you tell her baby no way

But she caught me on the counter
(It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin on the sofa
(It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower
(It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera
(It wasn't me)
She saw the marks on my shoulder
(It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her
(It wasn't me)
Heard the screams getting louder
(It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Bangin on the bathroom floor
I had tried to keep her from what
She was about to see
Why should she believe me when I
Told her it wasn't me

Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on da right prefix
Whenever you should see her make da giggolo flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seein is believin so you better change your specs
You know she not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to noontime mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if she pack a gun you know you better run fast

But she caught me on the counter
(It wasn't me)
Saw me banging on the sofa
(It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower
(It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera
(It wasn't me)
She saw the marks on my shoulder
(It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her
(It wasn't me)
Heard the screams getting louder
(It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over

Honey came in and she caught me red handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

Gonna tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
I've been listenin to your reasonin
It makes no sense at all
We should tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt-naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

Are Ya Burning up Yet?

RNAB

 

[Ally C]

...that non-singing stupid moronic vastly irritating beyond words musically impaired fuckhead Shaggy and that ass that likes to pretend he's singing.

I could throttle him too. I think it's only a matter of time until he has some sort of nasty accident. While this would be his own fault for continually hanging out with 'pesky kids' who have a penchant for solving mysteries, I don't think it's acceptable or responsible the way he always brings Scooby into it. I think he's ridden his luck way too long now ...

 

[Merelan]

Hey Killermuffin, my 2 cents. Write that incest story. Bit make it realistic. The kind that happen way morte then the others. Where he gets drunk comes on to you and you beat the shit out of him and call the cops. Not where suddenly you are overcome with a wave of passion and fuck him silly, and then become his sex kitten.

Satire... you could do it, and do it well.

 

[Ally C]

Yes please ...

Satire... you could do it, and do it well.

Just a side thought: you can't beat a good piece of well written satire. Go for it, I love reading anything that takes my mind of having to write.