Am I going mad?!

[elib257]

Okay, this is a question I'm supposed to ask a friend I suppose but I don't want them to think I'm going mad.

Recently I had a whirlwind romance with a lovely man, we really thought we'd be together for a long time and everything was lovely but needless to say it's ended (amicably and everybody's still friends). But it's left me thinking about how I'm ready for being in a relationship.

I've been (more or less happily) single now for about a year and a half after a three year relationship (which again ended amicably). I've sorted/am sorting a lot of issues I had i.e. I've not had a drink in about four months, I've lost two stone in weight etc. and this short romance has reminded me how I now feel like I want to share my life with somebody.

So, the real issue - I can't stop thinking about a man I went to college with. We met in the last year of college and then went to the same university but on separate courses and campuses. It was clear for all to see that we were really attracted to eachother and it was almost a definite that we would get together... but of course we lost touch, I found a boyfriend and I've not seen him in probably about 3 years.

Today, I searched his name on the alumni website and found an e-mail address. The information that's provided fits him to a 't' apart from the course, which was different (but not completely dissimilar) to the one that he did. So I'm not even sure if it's his.

Would it be weird to e-mail him? Would it make me a little bit of a stalker? If I should e-mail him, then what exactly do I say? How would you feel if somebody e-mailed you randomly like that? What if it's not him?

Reading over the post, it seems a bit drawn out but oh well. Any thoughts are appreciated and thanks in advance.

 

[Carnevil9]

If I was him, I'd be flattered to be remembered fondly. If it turns out not to be your friend, so what? You wasted ten seconds of a stranger's time.

Just email, say "Hi, how are you, what's new?" and see where it goes.

Good luck!.....Carney

 

[tammytoodles]

///////

 

[funwdi]

Do it

You have nothing to lose by e-mailing the guy. What's the worst that can happen? It's e-mail, so there's not too much humility involved if he doesn't want to reply, or if he replies with disinterest!

Hope it works out, at least to satisfy your curiosity!

 

[Reba67]

Whenever I've thought I've found a certain person's email address that I haven't heard from in a while, I always start with "are you the john smith who went to <college name> and hung out with a girl with my name <insert maiden name if appropriate".

 

[TheleHun]

.....

 

[fire_breeze]

I recently shot off an email to someone with whom I have lost touch with... I simply wrote something along the lines of 'I hope that you are John Smith who went to College U in this department, and who used to spend Fridays playing card at the local pub. If you are, then I was wondering how's it going and that you are doing well. If not, then I hope you have a great day".

He answered back, and it was great to reconnect, and it only took 5 minutes to compose the email.

 

[Monazwx]

Send the e-mail. I recently e-mailed a former crush; he e-mailed me back and it went well.
Let us know how it goes. Good luck.

 

[Mr.G]

First Off ...

""going MAD"" has some BAAAAD connotations... you know visions of you hacking off a b/f's willie thinking it was a SNAKE trying to eat your head while you BOTH slept.

MAD is NOT a good term to use when asking a VERY simple question about stuff we have likely ALL gone through.

Simple answer is EMAIL HIM. What's the problem. Say "Hi is that you. I saw your email on such and such a site a wanted to say HI - what's new? Remember me? Can I come over and marry you?'

Ok maybe that's a tad forward. Just tone it down a bit and maybe your all your very best fantasies will cum true.

Either that or you ARE mad and your long lost friend is about to have his willie flushed down the loo ...


ummm good luck. To both of you.

 

[Tyr51]

I've been in that situation... on both sides.
I think you essentially get one email.
If he doesn't answer, don't press it.

 

[Carnevil9]

After you contact the dude, write back and tell us in intimate detail about all the saucy sex that you had with him at your joyful reunion. And if you didn't meet him or didn't have any sex with him, we won't mind if you just make it up!

 

[Colton_White]

I don't want to sound negative

Would it be weird to e-mail him?

ofcourse not

Would it make me a little bit of a stalker?

no that's incorrect.

If I should e-mail him, then what exactly do I say?

]


Hi XYZ,
How are you doing ?
long time no news?
I was just surfing around and came to the Alumni site, and to my surprize
wow I found your email id there.
..did you get any news of ABC [ur common friend]
.. Do you know that DEF got job/married [another common friend]
...how is life going..job/marriage/g.f.? did you meet any one?
lol I had met someone but right now I got single again.
be in touch, have a nice week!

How would you feel if somebody e-mailed you randomly like that?

I'd feel like "duh,look now the she came back cause she was dumped..
I'm nobody's fallback second line soldier." :angry:

but hey that's me, two males can't be same in their way of thinking.
and I'm a rare 'looser dickhead' species.

What if it's not him?

no it'd be him but...
making emails is so easy ..that he might not even be using that email right now.
so incase you don't get replied back don't think that he's not interested / ignoring..
BUT he hasn't opened that mailbox to check.


there are infinite possibilities here.........

1) he might be in relationship with someone. [may be he'll fake to be single to get laid with you]
2) he might be single He'll get happy for recieving email from you
3) he might not be using that email nowadays.

but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take chance..
just send a quick email ... [shyness makes more mis-understanding and never helps.]

I wish you good luck. and I hope for the positive outcome

 

[elib257]

Thanks all. I've done it now. This is what I sent -

"Hiya, this might be a bit of a funny e-mail, so bear with me... I was wondering if you are the ***** from *** (particularly sociology...)?

If it is, hello! I'm ******* - if you remember me. I just suddenly thought about you for some reason and fancied saying hi. If not then oh well.

Look forward to hearing from you, if you're the right one... Bye."

Thinking about it rationally, I can't see the problem...

Also Colton_white I didn't blow him out, I'm not coming back because I was dumped - sometimes people just lose contact.

Thankyou

 

[In Anticipation]

Thanks all. I've done it now. This is what I sent -

"Hiya, this might be a bit of a funny e-mail, so bear with me... I was wondering if you are the ***** from *** (particularly sociology...)?

If it is, hello! I'm ******* - if you remember me. I just suddenly thought about you for some reason and fancied saying hi. If not then oh well.

Look forward to hearing from you, if you're the right one... Bye."

Thinking about it rationally, I can't see the problem...

Also Colton_white I didn't blow him out, I'm not coming back because I was dumped - sometimes people just lose contact.

Thankyou

Hope you get a good reply, I think you did the right thing.

 

[RozieMozie]

i say email him too, if u have not all ready ... and if u did pls tell us how it went

my best friend fund her high school crush on face book ... it turned out tht he had a crush on her in high school to ... but thy never ran with the same group, even though the groups paths crossed frequently ... over the yrs after thy got out of high school she kept an eye on him, and in turn he kept an eye on him ... by the time she found him thy were both very unhappy in their marriages ... thy have since left their spouses and r now very happily living together

thy may not have been old lovers, but it still goes to prove tht sending tht first email/msg can spark into something good

best of luck!

 

[Emilio_di_Roccabruna]

I sincerely hope it was your friend you mailed, but now you'll HAVE to tell us how it goes!
....or make it up of course!

Good luck elib257!

 

[Hadar]

see i wish i was able to do that im constally thinking of this female from when i was a KID but as i was niave then i never got her digets lol

 

[elib257]

You all wanted to know what was happening so..... he e-mailed back! and it's him! We're going for a coffee over the weekend, it'll be so good to see him . Thanks all!

 

[luvtofly]

Whenever it's a question on whether you should or shouldn't do something like this I always tend to end up saying go for it. Mostly because if I don't go for it I may very well end up wondering what could have been if I had been bothered t say something at the right time. Even if it doesn't end up the way I think I would like it to at least then I know for sure how the other person feels

 

[lorelei_echo]

Congrats! Glad it went well, and hope it continues to!

 

[In Anticipation]

You all wanted to know what was happening so..... he e-mailed back! and it's him! We're going for a coffee over the weekend, it'll be so good to see him . Thanks all!

Good news!

Hope it works out, and if nothing else you have a pleasant hour or two reminiscing.