Am I Gay or BI

[Nicodemus]

Well not being gay i can't really answer this butttttt,

I would have to ask you one question. Do you prefer the thought of pursuing a relationship with a man or a woman. I think that would be a key to your answer.

If sex with a man is something that excites you and you enjoy but you can only picture yourself in a relationship with a woman that tends to lend itself to the bi or bi curious category.

This is all of course the opinion of a heterosexual/kinda bi-curious male. I am sure some of the homo-sexual or bi-sexually experienced men on this board can give a more concise answer but thought I would just throw out an opinion.

Nic,

 

[MrFla]

Sexual Preference has a lot more to do with just sex. Whether your erotic stimulation comes from a man or woman or both. Who do you feel more comfortable with outside of bed, on a romantic level (holding hands, kissing, etc.)?

You'll know what to do in time. You've already seemed to overcome the biggest barrier, self acceptance. If your self acceptance was contingent on being bi and your truly gay, perhaps you've overcome that hurdle.

Moreover, tis what makes you happy.

 

[paul_for_fun]

I have to agree with Nic on all of what he said. I am not gay, but bi/bi-curious. I get really turned on by the thought of being with another guy, but would not want a "relationship" necessarily. If you have to label yourself, decide who you want a relationship with, spend time with. Sex is great, really great, but not enough to label yourself with. Good advice Nic, it made me feel better, if it didn't help Spy.

 

[Nicodemus]

Thanks for the kind words paul. Just sharing some thougths. Glad I could be of some help.

Nic,

 

[Zidane]

Having sex and being physical with a man excites and arouses me. But being in a relationship with one totally turns me off. So I'm not gay and I wouldn't consider myself FULLY bisexual either. Too bad I haven't been with either sex to fully know the answer to that.

 

[Guest]

Hey bro, bend over and shove a bromm handle up your ass if you enjoy it let me tell your wife and the Captain.

 

[Zidane]

Ignore that ass who posted above, that was uncalled for.

 

[Nicodemus]

Is it not great to have people with nothing constructive or even remotely intelligent to say adding to a conversation.

Ignore that foolishness above.

Nic,

 

[LoveAdvocate]

Hello, the question you ask is one a lot of people struggle with. I don't think anyone but you can answer that. I have been a lesbian all my life and I've always known. Basically I believe you fall in love with someone's soul. I personally love women's souls more. No offense guys I love you too, just not in the same way. I suggest you don't rush into categorizing yourself. It's best not to burn bridges in your mind. You may miss an opportunity that could bring you great happiness.

take care

 

[Joe186]

I agree with Paul for Fun. Although I have not experienced what sex with another man would be like, I wish I had the oppotunity for the experience. I am very Bi Curious and would live to find the right guy to live out my desire. I do not believe there is anything wrong with this.

 

[Zidane]

I agree with Joe. I even tried to seek out a small discreete encounter with another man, to no avail. So I'm pretty much resigning to the fate that I'll never have that experience in my life. But you can't say I never tried.

 

[pyramider]

Good question

I have been straight and always strictly fantasized and loved women. An older woman, friend of my mther, seduced me when I was just hiting puberty. Either I am naturally sex crazed or she created a monster; I have been vey excessive in my sexuality, some would say sex addict applies. At twenty I had an older girlfriend of 34 who had the same ferocious appetites and fantasies and she introduced me to group sex and foursoms and orgies. She was bi and introduced me to many other women and watched me with them. By profession she was a fulltime nurse and part-time high priced call girl and did it for the thrill of being paid for sex. It was the seventies and people were open to experimentation. We were once swapping with this lovely couple and he was on top of her, missionary position, when she begged me to put my cock in her mouth and I did. He humped harder while she sucked and then gave him my cock and he sucked me off. His wife screamed in ecstacy watching that and while he was still doing my g/f I rode him and fucked him while his wife kept my mouth busy and my gf, carrying our combined weight was screaming loudly with ecstacy. It did not feel bad.
I never fantasize about sex with men but for many years after that in group situations and orgies I did few men. I never was done myself by a man. When I have sex in mwm threesom (d/p anal/rectal) I feel the other guy's cock in the woman and it feels alright; we actually feel each other's cocks in her and it does not turn me off.
I haven't been to any orgies for few years now and had no homsexual experiences, I would not try and pick up men at all. For few yrs now all of my sex is with women and mostly one at a time.
I know I am straight but I remember the times I did few men, always at the urging of ladies and to their pleasure and yet sometimes I wonder, I wonder.

 

[pilotstar]

So I think I'm straight - I've never had an experience with a man but I do fantasise about it. Now I think also that I'm quite attractive - my girlfriends are all beautiful women but since I was a young teenager and totally not into even the thought of a man no men have ever hit on me. I have been totally picked up by women before but now I am open in my mind to some kind of sensual experience with a man nada...

So am i sending out he wrong vibes ? Sometimes - horny and masturbating I think abput dropping by a gay bar or contacting someone through the personals but it seems a little creepy - so maybe I'm just bi curious in my head and i certainly enjoy that........

 

[Zidane]

well this is my feelings on this matter. I find SOME men attractive enough to have sex with but not to form emotional relations with. With women, I find them attractive to have BOTH types of relations with, and that's why it is harder to simply, 'give it up' to a woman for me than it is to a man. There is that emotional attachment for me. May sound rude or even bad or whatever, but this was said in the best of intentions. This is just how I feel.

 

[pyramider]

No easy answers

Since I am older and in my twenties the sexual revolution was in full swing I have struggled with this question. I do not fantasize men at all but some people considered me bi. The older woman who seduced me used to tell me I was a pretty boy meant to love and be loved and finger me ( I could not say no under the circumstances) while sucking me off and I grew to enjoy that. I am still good looking but had the added beauty of young age then. I had an uncontorllable sex drive and few women manipulated me. Some memories I even blocked. A young man I knew then introduced me to his wife and I wanted her so much but he wanted to have sex with me in return. I was able to do him but could never take his cock anywhere near me; I got physically ill and finally he settled for what I could give him. Later when I had a gf who was older and real slut and even part time whore I was surprised at how much I liked watching her getting it from other men and the intensity of sex I had with other woman watching my own with other men. I loved watching her , not the men, in a state of ecstacy and orgasm. later I developed fondness for sleezy women who went for swapping and orgies with me. During this period my ruttiness and readiness for sex was a constant urge and my erections were too painful I would do anything to get rid of them. I had few episodes with men always doing them for women to watch or while they did a woman, mostly my gf or my wife when I was married. I do not consider myself homo or bi since I never fancy men. However in the heat of the moment I did men. Also I frequented clubs with "glory holes" and I am certain the person blowing me on the other end was not always a woman but I wanted to cum by any means. A psychiatrist said every human being had a homosexual tendencies that shows under sexually stressful situations. But I still insist I am heterosexual. I haven't had sex of any kind with men for years now and I do enjoy sex now more than younger days; I do have control over the urges and I always turn down advances by men. I adore women and all my sex partners are ladies from many age groups. I do turn down any offers from them to indulge in thier fantasies about doing men. However, very recently I was in mwm 3-sum and enjoyed feeling my cock rub the other guy's inside her and felt I was fucking them both but I never touched him. I suppose, at the end of the day what does it matter. It is only tags we give to human activities

 

[Joe186]

Any others agree with Paul For Fun, Zidane or me (see Posts above)? Let us know, we like to hear from you.

 

[zantac666]

Hi zidane knows how i feel i like to be with my friend and get each other off for fun he will bj me or handjob or more we watch a video. nothing to it he is married and his wife knows nothing of it he has to kids to we both like girls but like to do each other. if you want to talk more e-mail me at hairlesshump@webtv.net

 

[Topher]

thumb-pinky @ Zidane

I agree with Zidane. I usually don't agree with those posts of his that I have read elseware, but, in this case I understand.
I think a *lot* of men feel this way.

Most of what I do online is homosexual, but I have had three het relationships since the age of 19, each lasting 2 years +/- some
months. I enoy sex with women a lot, but I fantasize about sex with men more. I don't know. I think it's a complicated matter, and, what some people say is true: you shouldn't rely on labels. I think some people take this attitude too far; we need labels in order to move through life. If someone calls me bisexual I think that is close enough. I have faith that no one thinks that means 50% het/ 50% homo all the time. I think most realize that sexuality is more complex than that. So, labels are useful, just don't abuse them. Don't let labels define *to yourself* what you are. There most likely are no words that even capture even the most minor aspects of our being. I'm meandering here so I'll shut up. Just to sum up I want to say:

Yeah, I'm another one in the survey that feels like Zidane.

-Topher

 

[pilotstar]

Some cool comments here - women are certainly more open to experimenting with the same sex.

Almost all of my girlfriends have been with women in the past and none of them, beyond a little proffesed confusion, have felt the need to label themselves as gay or bi.

I like what Topher had to say and I think that I would like to start experimenting a little in the safe anonymous world of cyberspace. If anyone would like to mail me for a little discussion about exploring our bisexual sides I would be happy to hear from you.

 

[Topher]

more controversial

I just want to add, on the more controversial side, that I think that 99% of people are not wholly straight or gay. I believe in the spectrum and all that (I know this is not a new concept, but I would like to reinforce the idea here). I think most men would experiment with other men in a no-consequences universe, and I think it is only the honest men in the world that admit these same-sex feelings to themselves. When they admit them to themselves AND the outside world, then I think injustice can occur.

The root of this story is that there was a girl I liked one time who said she was uncomfortable with my being bi. To me, just about any man she could meet would be the same as me, except that maybe he wouldn't be honest about his sexuality. I think she just wasn't interested in the end - and was using the bi thing as an excuse

We're still best friends today - I, her, and her boyfriend all live in the same appartment complex. I joke that I am her "no-sex" boyfriend because we do couple things together a lot. It is almost like I and her boyfriend share boyfriend duties - except that I get the short end of the stick

Anyway, I hope that made sense. If anyone wants to talk to me about bi issues feel free!