Am I crazy or ....

[ShamelessFlirt]

OK, the concensus is I'm crazy.

But I'm wondering if I'm stupid for wanting a relationship rather than just getting laid?

Additional considerations: Married, Unhappy, Kids

The wife said of sex "I can take it or leave it"

If you've read some of my poems, you have an idea where alot of the emotions are comming from now ...lol

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Let's hear it for Relationships!

I don't think that wanting a relationship is crazy at all!

Although there are of lot of people just wanting to "get laid", a relationship to me is much more important. I'm discovering a lot of people really feel that way as well, although it may not be a popular belief to have on an erotic website.

I've discovered even cybering loses it's appeal after a while, except when you're sharing it with someone "special".

As I mentioned before, Shameless, your writing is magnificent. The feelings you portray certainly come from the heart. Thanks for sharing this gift with us (and at those Monday nite events).

So maybe this means I'm crazy too!

 

[slipperywetnsc]

Shameless... you are definitely not crazy. Having an emotional connection only intensifies the pleasure in a sexual relationship. Go after what you want. Its worth it!

 

[Elizabeth]

Not crazy, Shameless. Not at all.

 

[InABox565]

Nothing Crazy

I think a deep meaningful relationship to some degree is what everyone is looking for. The majority of us want to be in love. Its human, its natural.

I want a beautiful wife and beautiful children. I want to grow old with my soul mate. And I believe that if we make sure we take care of ourselves, work out our issues, try to be better people, then that person comes around. When we least expect it, then it comes, and its great, and you know its right.

We're all there!

 

[hotti]

Nope. If it's crazy, then it's in a Patsy Cline sorta way, but it's also wholly human, eminently respectable, and completely understandable.

Everyone is like that, either all the time, or at least one time. Sex is just a basic drive which any animal has, but a relationship is a fundamental need that drives humans to great, and sometimes terrible, deeds (look at Romeo and his Juliet, or Alphalfa and Darla. Or real people, like QE1 and her Robin. Bonnie Prince Charlie, wanting a 'relationship' with his country, and see what glorious and horrible things came from that! Okay, enough, I think that last was a little too abstract *G*)

If you're crazy for that, SF, then so are we all, and isn't it grand?


________________________________
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

________________________________

 

[hotti]

And if that ramble didn't make a whole lot of sense, then please forgive a girl who is fuzzy headed still from flu medications and broken sleep, *G*.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

What's sweeter

And if that ramble didn't make a whole lot of sense, then please forgive a girl who is fuzzy headed still from flu medications and broken sleep, *G*.

What's sweeter than hearing someone say "I love you"??

http://www.freeavatars.net/vpimages/goofy/fhgof9.GIF

Hearing "I love you too"

 

[armyjim_2000]

Relationships are good...

A relationship is a good thing, as long as it is mutual. Nowdays, THAT'S the hard part. You're not crazy. Find it and hang on to it.

I don't want to live-I want to love first, and live incidentally.

 

[taxidriver]

A serious relationship just makes love making that much better, so NO... I don't think you're nutty in wanting a realtionship!

 

[MizTabby]

If you're crazy...

...then I'm crazy too, Flirt.

I'd love to have a a relationship and share some unforgettable moments with a special someone. There's nothing like being with somebody who knows and appreciates you and cares about every aspect of your life. And the sex is the icing on the cake, the cream in the pudding, to be savoured and enjoyed and make that relationship just as perfect as it can be.
Cyber was exciting when I first wet my feet, well and other thingies *lol* but I find I don't even want to any more; nothing can replace the experience of the personal touch, the look in your love's eyes, his smell, his voice and laughter, his warmth. his kisses. I can't cuddle with a freakin machine!!!
Truth is, not being able to get acquainted with that someone, means no "relationship", so I think getting laid might douse the fire a bit, and then what?
Gosh Flirt, you're not stupid by any means, what's that song "love is all we need", it is just soooo beautiful to hear "I love you", when it's sincere.

 

[Nicodemus]

Speaking as someone in a relationship that I am unhappy with even I have to say that you are not crazy. I may not be happy and want to move on but I still fully believe in a good solid relationship.

I am an extremely horny man but have always prefered a relationship to just getting laid. Being with one person that you can share, be vulnerable with, be stupid/silly with, and completely open is a true treasure. That is what most of us are looking for. Wether that entails complete monogamy or an open relatiohship involving others is between the two people.

You know what, call me crazy, but I think it perfectly sane to want that thunderstrike, think about them all the time, rest of our lives, they pass away and I follow soon after just because I miss them so much type of love. We all want that story book love, and searching for it is what we are all doing. Life is not a story book but it can work and happens, working at it is the hard part, not taking it for granted and keeping it alive.

Nic,

ps sorry for the ramble

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

Re: Relationships are good...

A relationship is a good thing, as long as it is mutual. Nowdays, THAT'S the hard part. You're not crazy. Find it and hang on to it.

Dude, where are your quotes comming from?

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Very well said, Nicodemus. Sorry you're unhappy.

It's nice to be crazy, isn't it?

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

Thanks

ps sorry for the ramble

Nah, thanks for the ramble. You touched on most of what I was thinking

 

[Nicodemus]

Thanks for the kind words. Unhappy but hopeful for better....either alone or together. Obviously, prefereably with someone considering my previous post.

Nic,

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

Forever

Thanks for the kind words. Unhappy but hopeful for better....either alone or together. Obviously, prefereably with someone considering my previous post.

Nic,

Forever

Forever is all there is
our memories will always last
forever is all there was
haunted by a livid past.

Forever is what was said to me
God time flew by so fast.
Our future was forever
I wanted it to last.

The growing hope forever
till now the die was cast,
distance grown far to vast
and now I stand alone, aghast.

Together they were in each endeavor
Except a thought, the concept forever.

So believe in forever,
in ties you cannot sever.

And dream about the morrow
for thats what there is to come.

Believe in our future,
else there will be none.

 

[Nicodemus]

Thank you ShamelessFlirt,,,,...

That is beautiful.........

 

[tn_8tiv]

I believe that anyone who thinks they can have sex without a relationship is kidding themselves. Even animals develop relationships before they mate. A "quickie" may be o.k. for the immature, highly sexed individual with a lot of free testosterone but to make love inside of a loving relationship is something that keeps you alive and happy.

Just my thoughts after a few years of experience.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Hopeful as well

Thank you ShamelessFlirt,,,,...

That is beautiful.........

Oh Shameless! Yes, you've done it again! Like we Mets' fans say: "You've gotta believe"!

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

It happens

I believe that anyone who thinks they can have sex without a relationship is kidding themselves. Even animals develop relationships before they mate. A "quickie" may be o.k. for the immature, highly sexed individual with a lot of free testosterone but to make love inside of a loving relationship is something that keeps you alive and happy.

Just my thoughts after a few years of experience.

which is it?

You say "I believe that anyone who thinks they can have sex without a relationship is kidding themselves."

which to me sounds like you think people don't go out and have sex without exchanging names never mind phone numbers. I've comforted more girls than I can count who got drunk at a party, had sex with someone they just met and never heard from them again. Or that the act itself establishes a relationship.

Then you mention a "quickie" which has no bearing on whether or not you're in a relationship but the amount of time spent on the act.

I absolutely agree whith you on sex "inside of a loving relationship is something that keeps you alive and happy". I was wondering aloud if the thought of that was crazy.

The jist of my question was "now that the love in my relationship with my wife has seemed to vanish, am I nuts for wanting a relationship with someone else rather than being that guy who slept with some gal at a party that I have no intention of calling back". Sex for the sake of sex.

sorry for the editorial. I guess I was looking for the general consesus on sex outside of a relationship.

Thank you all for your replies

 

[perks]

Crazy thoughts for Flirt

wanting to love isn't crazy.
loving itself is crazy.
embrace the crazy.
go for it.........find those connections...hang on .......love and be loved....why else are we here?

as for sex......well...sex is gravy on top of the mashed potatoes of love.

wet thighs and white t-shirts,
perks

 

[sandiego_gordo]

of course you're crazy

flirt, to know you is to know you're crazy. But as for the relationship thing, it's seems from my experience that you're right on, sex without a relationship isn't fulfilling.

BUT, I also don't think you have to spend ___ time, a week, six months, whatever, with someone to establish a relationship. I've had relationships where i felt quite close to someone after spending only a day with her, and the sex was pretty awesome too. I'm not saying that it was the same kind of close relationship you have with someone you have known for awhile and seen in a variety of context's, etc., just that as human's we can form relationships pretty fast, and I'm not sure that those relationships are as shallow as somebody out there is bound to say they are.

As others have said, humans have a variety of physical and emotional needs, and it's a HUGE mistake to ignore or subvert those. Two of the strongest are the physical instinct to procreate and the emotional need to feel loved and to love. It's nice when you can put those two together and have some really hot sex with someone you have emotional love for.

gordo

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Xmas list

It's nice when you can put those two together and have some really hot sex with someone you have emotional love for.

gordo

This is number one on my Xmas wish list!

 

[on_the_verge]

Redux of love & lust

There is a key thing between the silver lining of desire, lust and a companion to share every fine line and curve there is to offer between two souls. There is a companionate love of a level that is not superficial and not souls to bridge what may seem ideal and asking of what cannot possibly span over an interim of time. For there are the lovers in this world that ignite an immediate connection not to be forsaken, but also not to have forged over a concrete foundation. When you meet the souls that can swelter with your own flames, you may find the touch as desirable and carry forth a magnitude unlike any other. We all try to search for perfection and answers, but at times we may not need to question, but labor in the fruits of joy and the nectar that drips from it's very junctions. I believe life is about living and never holding or demanding, but allowing the river to flow and break the shores as freely as love should be treated. The magnitude and definition of a connection is not left for the long term in it's entirety, but where paths might be fostered and what may be a brief burst, may carry a lineage in the heart and soul no other may follow or grasp.