Am I Being Paranoid?

[longpipe75]

My wife and I have pretty much just gotten back together after a long separation. During which time she said she didn't see anyone. Fair enough.

I work strange hours part of my job. She won't have sex with me. Says she's not ready, again fair enough. She will engage in sexual activity that does not involve coitus.

The other night got home from work and we were in bed snuggling and I started to masturbate her. I wasn't doing anything. As she became aroused her scent hit me. Great I thought. Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine. I said nothing. Kept up what I was at and offered to go down on her she immediately said no. Not a usual response for her.

Am I just being paranoid?

 

[llidar]

My wife and I have pretty much just gotten back together after a long separation. During which time she said she didn't see anyone. Fair enough.

I work strange hours part of my job. She won't have sex with me. Says she's not ready, again fair enough. She will engage in sexual activity that does not involve coitus.

The other night got home from work and we were in bed snuggling and I started to masturbate her. I wasn't doing anything. As she became aroused her scent hit me. Great I thought. Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine. I said nothing. Kept up what I was at and offered to go down on her she immediately said no. Not a usual response for her.

Am I just being paranoid?

Would she have unprotected sex with someone else? And, if she did, wouldn't she take care of cleaning up the 'evidence' per se?

 

[llidar]

My wife and I have pretty much just gotten back together after a long separation. During which time she said she didn't see anyone. Fair enough.

I work strange hours part of my job. She won't have sex with me. Says she's not ready, again fair enough. She will engage in sexual activity that does not involve coitus.

The other night got home from work and we were in bed snuggling and I started to masturbate her. I wasn't doing anything. As she became aroused her scent hit me. Great I thought. Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine. I said nothing. Kept up what I was at and offered to go down on her she immediately said no. Not a usual response for her.

Am I just being paranoid?

Would she have unprotected sex with someone else? And, if she did, wouldn't she take care of cleaning up the 'evidence' per se?

 

[2ndchance]

My wife and I have pretty much just gotten back together after a long separation. During which time she said she didn't see anyone. Fair enough.

I work strange hours part of my job. She won't have sex with me. Says she's not ready, again fair enough. She will engage in sexual activity that does not involve coitus.

The other night got home from work and we were in bed snuggling and I started to masturbate her. I wasn't doing anything. As she became aroused her scent hit me. Great I thought. Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine. I said nothing. Kept up what I was at and offered to go down on her she immediately said no. Not a usual response for her.

Am I just being paranoid?

Hey, not trying to say i know it all, but I went through the exact same thing with my ex (yes she is an ex now)... Trust me when i saw, COMMUNICATION is the key to getting back together... It is the key to a real and meaningful relationship of any kind, but dont sit there and be paranoid, because it will tear you apart and eventually you will start to build your own story in your head, which is most times, worse than the truth.

Talk to her, tell her how you feel, tell her you sense something is not right.

My ex used to love when i would go down on her, but toward the end of our relationship (after a 4 month separation) she began to turn me away from her clit and would make up excuses for me not going down there, but one day i confronted her and told her of my suspiscions and i was right. It didnt piss me off, it made me feel relieved, i mean she wanted us to work enough to bring me home but at the same time she didnt stop seeing her "friend" and the honesty in the end helped me get over it.

Trust me, talk to her and be honest, but keep your temper and cool, because if you ask a question and you get an honest answer, that is better than living with a lie and you being paranoid about it for the rest of your life.

Hope that makes sense... Hope it helps...

 

[dave's thing]

I don't think you are at all.
Time for some questions!!!

 

[longpipe75]

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to be more observant of her behaviour,maybe change my work schedule around a bit come home unexpected one of the days.

 

[llidar]

paranoid

Were trust issues part of the reason for the original break-up. If so, I don't think changing your work schedule to come home at different times is going to help. I agree with 2ndchance. Communication is the key. Good Luck

 

[warmredlips]

?????

I think you are being a bit paranoid, but as others have said, communication is the key and perhaps the only solution. Changing your work schedule to 'check' on her is, yes, paranoid it seems. Just be open, to the point, and talk to her. If you can't communicate honestly now, then the future probably won't hold much brightness for either of you. But I do wish you well.

 

[deanofsuffolk]

I would add my vote to the non paranoid camp, fresh semen is a pretty unique smell, and wise to be wary in my view. Why she would be so cavalier is I agree odd, but the evidence is strong..

 

[deanofsuffolk]

And have to agree communication and some direct questions too, possibly

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

what does semen even smell like?

i remember coming home from a company picnic and my girlfriend said i smelled like spooge.

umm, if i had sex, i think i would have remembered.

 

[LeonOmoshi]

I say talk about it not know is the worst thing you can do and stalking her dosent help it only tears you up im side trust me I know ... sadly

 

[panty_aussie]

hey mate

i would go with you think

her doing the opposite of what she normally does is big red flag to me she is cheating

esp her changing habits not wanting sex

her trying to be more private like her not wanting to see her mobile

to me sounds like she is cheating

 

[llidar]

But, she may not be doing what she normally would with him because of the whole estranged situation. Maybe there are some trust issues that need to be reconciled. We don't know why they were seperated for that length of time. That reason may be why she is not responding as he remembers. As for the whole sperm smell, unless it was really, really fresh, I don't know what he would be able to smell. Maybe it's a guy thing.

 

[haha12345xxx]

it is not so much that she is cheating it is, will you accept her if she did. you just need to not beat around the bush and ask her and tell her the outcome. you are adults.

 

[longpipe75]

sorted =)

 

[Dagwood_B]

If you smelled semen that wasn’t yours, it sounds like she has another man in her life that she isn’t ready to let go of, which may or may not be a bad thing. There are all kinds of relationships and marriages. If it were me, I would make sure, (beyond any reasonable doubt), before I said anything; however, after I was sure, I would confront her about it. However you want to maintain your marriage, (monogamous, three-way mfm, open marriage, cuckold, etc), is completely up to you and your wife, but whatever you and she decides, it has to be based on trust and respect. A marriage based on deceit is never good. One point to think about, if you decide that you want to work this out and keep the marriage, you are going to have to be patient with her. Sometimes it can be very difficult for a woman to accept that her sexual needs or different than mainstream.

 

[alchemyandlaughter]

I don't think you are at all.
Time for some questions!!!

As a woman...I've been on the other end....where I was the one being cheated on and lied to.... if your gut is telling you that something's wrong, then trust that and do as these wise fellas have said. Today, with her...or tomorrow, with someone new.... And good luck sorting out all the mixed feelings these conversations will be illuminating!

 

[alchemyandlaughter]

If you smelled semen that wasn’t yours, it sounds like she has another man in her life that she isn’t ready to let go of, which may or may not be a bad thing. There are all kinds of relationships and marriages. If it were me, I would make sure, (beyond any reasonable doubt), before I said anything; however, after I was sure, I would confront her about it. However you want to maintain your marriage, (monogamous, three-way mfm, open marriage, cuckold, etc), is completely up to you and your wife, but whatever you and she decides, it has to be based on trust and respect. A marriage based on deceit is never good. One point to think about, if you decide that you want to work this out and keep the marriage, you are going to have to be patient with her. Sometimes it can be very difficult for a woman to accept that her sexual needs or different than mainstream.

And of course, adopting this philosophy can only help to strengthen any relationship you find yourself in.... try to keep a calm and open mind ... be willing to grow as the relationship changes or dissolves.....

 

[Leon_k]

Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine.

How can you be so sure it was smelling semen? it may be some white-discharge from vagina, because of fungal infection, you know lot ladies get the gynec infection.
perhaps that's why she said no to licking.

Suspicion breeds suspicion. The one who got jaundice will see everything yellow.
Even if you change work schedule / arrive unexpactedly, or spy on her mobile or emails. You may end up leading to wrong conclusions because of suspicion.
Better just ask her upfront, what's the matter?

All the best. I really pray that it turns out all well and good "they lived happily ever after" for your case.

 

[LindsayRae]

The other night got home from work and we were in bed snuggling and I started to masturbate her. I wasn't doing anything. As she became aroused her scent hit me. Great I thought. Then after a bit I got the distinct odour of freshly spilt semen and it wasn't mine.

It took that long for his seed to spill from her?

 

[OrelP]

No you're not being paranoid, you're being naive. It seems only natural for a girl who would date you to come home full of cum and hickies... You should probably be nicer to her for giving you the time of day at all