Am I an idiot?

[Zilla]

Ok this is the deal...I need advice please!

I signed up for this thing online to find a running partner ages ago. A few weeks ago I got an instant message from some guy saying, "Hey, I'm local - you want to go for a run sometime?"

I said, ok what the hell and went for it. We had a good time. Ran, talked etc. I mentioned I just graduated from college and am job searching at some point. I also mentioned my boyfriend who lives 1,500 miles away.

A few days later he calls me and asks if I want to meet for coffee because he'd like to talk to me about a job. He runs a little business that sells cell phones and satellite dishes. He offered me a job without even asking to see a resume, calling past employers etc. He never even asked me what my last name was! This guy knows virtually nothing about me. He did ask me things about my ex-husband and my dating stories since the divorce. He is divorced too, single, 33. I am quite a bit younger than him BTW.

I am pretty desperate for a job so when he said to come over to the office and help him out tonight I felt a little weird but said OK. Some of it was business talk but mostly it was what felt like flirty chit-chat. I caught him checking out my body (especially my chest) more than once and he asked me if I wanted to go get some dinner afterwards. (I declined of course) He wants me to come in and do some work tomorrow but there really isn't anything pressing that needs done. In fact, I am pretty damn sure that he doesn't even need help there. I feel like he just offered me this job to make me have a reason to hang around him more often than just an hour on the weekends to go for a run.

Do you think I am just paranoid, or could it be that he is just a nice guy trying to do me a favor? Is it really odd that he didn't even ask to see a resume? Or that he never asked about my work history or even what my college degree is in? He knows I have a boyfriend, but do you think the fact that he lives 1,500 miles away make him feel like it is ok to pursue me anyway? Am I misinterpreting him altogether and just full of myself? I don't know, I want the money but I feel strange accepting it. I don't want trouble!

 

[JustAnotrGuy]

You're not stupid, should feel pretty proud of yourself that you picked his odd behavior up, I'm sure not everyone would. But I'm not very good with advice type stuff

 

[Nora]

He's having you work without having filled out an application. He's discussing entirely irrelevant topics with you in a work environment. He hasn't taken enough information from you to pay you. Your instincts are all saying "ewwww!"

And you're wondering if he's on the up-and-up??

 

[MechaBlade]

The interesting thing about these types of jobs is that you often don't need to see a resume. Sales is about being good at speaking to people.

However, this guy is hitting on you. Don't mix business with pleasure, especially with this many questionable factors. Run, or if you're really desperate, let him know that you are in it just for the job and not the hanky-panky.

 

[mig]

Yes,he could be trying to do you a favour but,given the circumstances,don't you think he's trying to do himself a favour.

Were I you I wouldn't touch this with a barge-pole.

 

[NorthwestRain]

Alarm bells ringing here darling.
Caution, the road is wet.

 

[Zilla]

Ehhh fuck I know. I just need money so badly right now. I've been job hunting for 2 months now. I don't know what to do. Goddammit I'm so dumb. I didn't even think about not filling out an application...but then again I have got jobs without filling out an application before. I don't know...I live in a very small town and this kind of shit just doesn't happen to people like me! This is more drama than a Lifetime Special for a little mountain town like this. I'm really sheltered I guess.

 

[Lost Cause]

What's your expertise?..

Does it fit with this "job offer?" I think he's trying the casting couch approach to employment. If you have wierd feelings about it, you're 99% accurate on it being bogus.
What's his office look like, any name brand equipment? In a reduced economy, extra goodies like cell phones/satellites get put on the back burner, so there could be long slumps.
By being on the Lit, you show higher than average intelligence, I think you should aim higher.
Just an observation, not an opinion.

 

[Nora]

Zilla, honestly, if he hasn't give you "scary ooky vibes" yet, then he's likely trying to do both.

Trust your instincts.

Does he make you feel threatened?

Are there other people around while you're working with him?

Does he strike you as a genuinely nice guy who's trying to help?

Very likely it's a combination of him being a nice guy and wanting into your panties. If he makes you feel like somewhere down the line he's going to want compensation for his "niceness" then he's not nice.

Personally, I'd just ask him. Things allowed to fester in silence can grow out of proportion.

 

[Zilla]

His business is definitely legit, everyone knows the company. I just never knew HIM before. I get my cell phone service through a different company and I don't watch TV. And there were other people in and out of the office a few time while I was there, and they were very nice and friendly with him. I think it is most likely a combination of him trying to be a nice guy who also has hopes he might get into my panties at some point. I don't feel exactly threatened by him but I do feel weirded out because I know he would not have offered me this job if he was not attracted to me, I'm totally sure of that. I didn't misinterpret his staring straight at my tits when he thought I wasn't looking. eerghh.... I don't know. I'm probably overreacting or something.

 

[Nora]

I sincerely recommend just asking him.

Failing that, go through the "what turns you off" thread and make sure you do every single thing listed when you're around him. Well, maybe except calling out someone else's name while you're in bed with him. But you can always just talk about your boyfriend constantly around him. Guys *hate* that!

Ok, but seriously. Just talk to him. Tell him how much you appreciate the job and how much you're enjoying it. You can always say something like, "I know I don't have to say this since I'm young enough to be your daughter and I have a boyfriend n' all, but I just wanted to make sure we were clear that this is a business only relationship."

Or even better, offer to set him up with your mom!

-Nora
(who is awfully mean tonight!!)

 

[Zilla]

He's not quite old enough to be my dad...actually he is the same age as my ex husband. But still, about 10 years older.

I should say something to him but if I am totally honest with myself I know I never will. I am a huge wussy. BIG WUSSY. I would pass out from nerves before I could work up the courage to confront someone like that. I can be passive-aggressive though. My last boss was old and creepy (really old!) and would say shit about my hair being soft and pretty or me smelling nice and I would just stare at him with this blank expression until he got uncomfortable and said, "Oh was I being forward? I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way."

........

I can't help but ask myself, is there a pattern emerging with my employers? This is probably my fault somehow.

*sigh*

 

[Kandi]

so Zilla

how did this turn out?

 

[Kuntmode]

n/a

Personally I have no intention of getting into your panties Zilla.

You strike me as someone seriously in need of some psychological evaluation.

You want to a boob job. Then you are worried about your soon to be Hollywood movie star boyfriend dipping his cock in other women whilst he is 'conveniently' 1,500 miles away from you.

At the same time, you are on the net responding to a site about people meeting up for a fucking jog, then you get a possible job out of it, but are now paranoid and worried that the 'nice' guy who gave you the job wants to get into your panties, because he was staring at your tits(the ones you admitted are saggy and in need of a puff up).

Fucking loony tune.

Give me a Post Office Box address.

I will send you a check for $5,000 just because I feel so fucking sorry for your pitiful life.

I bet you are a fat and ugly chick online seeking attention.

Shall we play double or nothing with my $5 g's?

 

[Donna Greed]

Go with your gut instinct on this one. If it seems weird it probably is. As you know, I'm renting out a room right now. I was talking to a guy who was interested, and though he seemed nice I got a weird vibe from him, and I rented it to someone else. This was a few weeks ago...a few days ago I ran into this guy in a bar, and he ended up following me out to my car and trying to lick my damn neck! He never had any intention of renting my room, or if he did it was just to try and date me. If you feel weird about this guy, run run run!

 

[Guest]

 

[Zilla]

Sorry, I didn't update. I quit the job. He was getting way too creepy for me. Now I am starting to get nervous though, my savings are dwindeling. I am moving to another state next month though, and I have some good job prospects on the horizon. All I really need is something to get me through the summer now until school starts in September. I am sort of pissed at myself that I let him intimidate me to the point where I quit, but it's ok. I'm moving on!

 

[Zilla]

Oh, and if I gained nothing else from this thread, I at least now know who else to put on my Ignore list.