Am I a sexual compulsive?

[brig01]

OK, so tell me if this sounds familiar.

I'm a heterosexual twentysomething male with several "normal" relationships under my belt. (Currently single.)

But I'm often tempted to do really outlandish things that I don't agree with in principle. Like go to a massage parlor or participate in an orgy. (The first I think is exploitative to the poor Eastern European and Asian women who get roped into those gigs, the second I'd enjoy if it could be done safely, but darnit, I just don't trust anyone, and who wants to do oral through saran wrap or condoms, anyway?)

Every few months or so (it's got to be hormonal), my desire to do something completely wild and out of character--like pick up a girl at bar, or employ a call girl, or blow a guy, or fuck a couple--gets almost intolerably strong.

And here's the thing: I don't do these things mainly because I know the let-down afterwards would be like heroin withdrawal.

And that's what this feel like: A drug addiction or something. The part of my that I really like is the part of me that wants to find someone, fall in love with someone, stay with someone. But there's this other side of me, and when I'm not in love, or when I'm in love but the relationship is going through tough times, this other side of me really takes over. So far I've resisted it. I've gone right to the brink, though, several times.

I just don't know: Are these normal desires? It only seems to be getting worse with age. For example, I'm not really attracted to men, they don't "turn my head" the way women do, but the idea that men have easier access to sex with other men has become, in the last two years, a real preoccupation for me.

And then there's my couple fantasy. That never used to happened before. But now I love to fantasize about couples. And the idea of paying a girl to touch me. Where the hell did all this come from?

Asking this question on a board devoted to pure sex is kind of dumb, I realize, but perhaps someone has a similar story. I'm currently in the throes of one of these little attacks, and it helps to talk about it.

 

[LorriLove]

hiya honey

nothing wrong with good healthy fantasies honey as long as you don't do anything silly acting them out, like getting shot by some jealous hubby or pulled in by the vice squad, giggle.

if you're prepared to pay for it, any of your fantasies could be acted out in relative safety, if a gal takes money for kinky sex acts, she's game for the pain if there is any.

not that i'd know about paid sex, i'm always free of charge, giggle.

lorri xxxxxx

 

[brig01]

Well then...

...that certainly is a vote of confidence. Not much of a pain man, myself, but I totally see your point. I see nothing wrong with prostitution in the long view, but as a trade, it tends to victimize a lot of underprivileged immigrants. On a level playing field, though, I say, play on! People should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies, as long as they're not endangering others.

See, all the cool people I meet on this board are from the UK. Whoa is me, stranded here across the pond...

Brig

 

[j269]

Re: Well then...

...that certainly is a vote of confidence. Not much of a pain man, myself, but I totally see your point. I see nothing wrong with prostitution in the long view, but as a trade, it tends to victimize a lot of underprivileged immigrants. On a level playing field, though, I say, play on! People should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies, as long as they're not endangering others.

See, all the cool people I meet on this board are from the UK. Whoa is me, stranded here across the pond...

Brig

Hi Brig,

I'm another across_the_ponder, but I feel like u do, and always have done.

I'm happily married, but those feelings to misbehave sneak up on me regularly, include all the fantasies you've mentioned and more.

I can't tell you why, but to my mind sex shouldn't be sterile, it should be dirty and depraved. And every so often I crave a little depravity.

J

 

[sharesher]

Altho im not "across the pond" i agree with those that are...... im currently involved in a relationship with a woman, ( she lives with hubby and me) so things dont always have to be boring to to committed...sounds to me like u need to find someone who has similiar occasional "depraved" tastes....... relax...... dont worry about it.... find someone similar and have fun.....




Sher