alternative facts

[Saint Peter]

I did not sleep with your sister.

 

[Saint Peter]

The dog ate my homework.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

Sounds just like plausible deniability.

 

[Saint Peter]

This message is hidden because Saint Peter is on your ignore list.

 

[Sean]

I won't cum in your mouth.

 

[lovetoread]

I won't cum in your mouth.

 

[Saint Peter]

I am moving to Canada.

 

[Saint Peter]

I can unsee post #5.

 

[islandman]

George Harrison was the most talented of the bunch.

 

[m8ingRitual]

I am working an extra shift on Friday night

 

[Saint Peter]

I slipped in the kitchen.

 

[Wrong Element]

I love both the Steelers and the Patriots so much, I can't possibly make up my mind.

 

[m8ingRitual]

I know it is late but I just need some company. No funny business, I swear.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Pete's cock is equal to Hillarys.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Climate change is a hoax.

 

[oggbashan]

I am King Henry VIII

<---

I didn't die.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

it's just a cold sore

 

[raindancer]

Of course I came.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

The check is in the mail.

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Yes. That IS a banana in my pocket.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

I did not sleep with your sister.

I knew that. I'm an only child.

The dog ate my homework.

But.....you don't even own a plant.

 

[Saint Peter]

That's not my dog.

 

[raindancer]

I'm sober.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

The check is in the mail.

Actually, that is TRUE! Not your check, but the check, or more precisely "A" check, IS in the mail. Of course, it is also true that there are inadequate funds in the bank to cover it.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

What is the alternate?