All I really need to know...

[CutieMouse]

I learned from BDSM/Kink

I got to thinking today about the things I've learned from D/s, that I've applied elsewhere in my life.

*Dom-watching tends to teach good management skills.
*Shame and humiliation are not always a bad thing.
*There is no "fair"... sometimes you just have to suck up and do what's asked of you.
*Service submission comes in handy in customer service fields.

Anyone else?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I can't quite put my finger on why this aggravates me, but it does.

1. I hate corporate happy talk and authoritarian positive thinking.
2. I hate customer service.

Been thinking about this lately. I'm taking classes in an area where they feel the need to instruct us on the most basic modes of interpersonal dealings, in order, supposedly, to help us in our careers. It is a bee in my bonnet.

 

[CutieMouse]

I can't quite put my finger on why this aggravates me, but it does.

1. I hate corporate happy talk and authoritarian positive thinking.
2. I hate customer service.

Been thinking about this lately. I'm taking classes in an area where they feel the need to instruct us on the most basic modes of interpersonal dealings, in order, supposedly, to help us in our careers. It is a bee in my bonnet.

Half the reason I'm so good at what I do, is I know when to submit to a client, and when to subtly [ethically] top her.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Half the reason I'm so good at what I do, is I know when to submit to a client, and when to subtly [ethically] top her.

It's kinda weird. I'm also very sensitive to those dynamics and I hate it. That's why I like an all-male work world.

 

[CutieMouse]

It's kinda weird. I'm also very sensitive to those dynamics and I hate it. That's why I like an all-male work world.

Yes, but I work in an all-female environment... alpha-males are few and far between. LOL

 

[the captians wench]

[hijack] CM I've been looking at your av for a while and I must say I rather admire it. It's very sexy in a refined way. [/hijack]

 

[Homburg]

Tough question. It goes a bit deeper for me.

Much of what I've learned on human relations is informed by D/s interactions, but much of what I've learned on dealing with rough working dogs and fractious horses prepared me better for D/s than any seminar or munch.

Learning how to handle my cats and make myself understood helped me better handle moments when verbal communication failed and I need to understand an alien (female) mind.

D/s taught me ways to look at other people's arrangements, kink or not, and understand them better.

D/s awareness informed my larger-scale people handling skills.

On a related note, grappling and groundfighting made me both a better top and a better driver.

I keep thinking about the dogs and horses though. Learning to read that horse through the feelings transmitted to my thighs and knees, learning to nudge with those knees, was preparation for learning to read a woman's emotions through the palm of my hand on her arm or hip, and how to subtly control movement with the barest of touches.

Getting to know those working dogs (bear-hunting dogs in my case) taught me to always be aware of that razor-thin line between good dog and freaked-out angry beast with teeth. That made me more aware of that line with people. Learning to completely subsume my own fears and stare that angry beast with teeth in the eye calmly until he backed down sowed the seeds of 'the look'.

Taking lessons from "The Prince" and learning to apply them to my D/s relationships has made me a more effective parent.

And, yes, learning how to fake submission (from seeing it in front of me so very many times) has been a wonderful tool in jacking people around in investigative interviews, people searches, and negotiations.

All around, D/s has made me a better manipulator. And animal handling skills learned as a young sprog made me a better dominant. The martial arts enhancing my driving skills is the weird one though...

 

[jenniferbaby]

[hijack] CM I've been looking at your av for a while and I must say I rather admire it. It's very sexy in a refined way. [/hijack]

I agree.

As for what I've learned: I desire to follow, but most situations and people are not worthy of the endeavor. When I find one that is, it's quite the experience.

 

[StrayKat]

Tough question. It goes a bit deeper for me.

Much of what I've learned on human relations is informed by D/s interactions, but much of what I've learned on dealing with rough working dogs and fractious horses prepared me better for D/s than any seminar or munch.

Learning how to handle my cats and make myself understood helped me better handle moments when verbal communication failed and I need to understand an alien (female) mind.

D/s taught me ways to look at other people's arrangements, kink or not, and understand them better.

D/s awareness informed my larger-scale people handling skills.

On a related note, grappling and groundfighting made me both a better top and a better driver.

I keep thinking about the dogs and horses though. Learning to read that horse through the feelings transmitted to my thighs and knees, learning to nudge with those knees, was preparation for learning to read a woman's emotions through the palm of my hand on her arm or hip, and how to subtly control movement with the barest of touches.

Getting to know those working dogs (bear-hunting dogs in my case) taught me to always be aware of that razor-thin line between good dog and freaked-out angry beast with teeth. That made me more aware of that line with people. Learning to completely subsume my own fears and stare that angry beast with teeth in the eye calmly until he backed down sowed the seeds of 'the look'.

Taking lessons from "The Prince" and learning to apply them to my D/s relationships has made me a more effective parent.

And, yes, learning how to fake submission (from seeing it in front of me so very many times) has been a wonderful tool in jacking people around in investigative interviews, people searches, and negotiations.

All around, D/s has made me a better manipulator. And animal handling skills learned as a young sprog made me a better dominant. The martial arts enhancing my driving skills is the weird one though...

Now that was very interesting read.

I have no experience with D/s worth mentioning, but I do have a LOT life long experience in handling all kinds of animals, some naturally aggressive included.

I too noticed that the time and effort I dedicated to learn how to understand animals made me much better people reader. Dealing with dog is not the same as dealing with breeding buck, learning those differences I believe taught me how to deal with different human personalities.
I cant exactly say what is it, maybe body talk? I only know I can predict the character and reactions almost without mistake. I realized I even compare them in everyday talk; when I tell my husband a guy is looking at me like a frightened dog ready to bite we both know that guy is not to be trusted.
I am extremely good manipulator with people when I want to be, could it be that my years of "communicating" with animals have to do something with that?

My moments of bliss were when I took aggressive, dangerous, half wild animal in my care and formed it into loving, devoted servant ready to eat out of my hand. One cannot do that effectively without dominating them. Am I wrong to expect similar kind of feelings from D/s relationship?

I was quite uneasy about plunging into reality of BDSM world, I am maybe too aware that fantasies hardly ever match the real thing. Your post here soothed my worries somewhat, thank you for that.

 

[Homburg]

Now that was very interesting read.

I have no experience with D/s worth mentioning, but I do have a LOT life long experience in handling all kinds of animals, some naturally aggressive included.

I too noticed that the time and effort I dedicated to learn how to understand animals made me much better people reader. Dealing with dog is not the same as dealing with breeding buck, learning those differences I believe taught me how to deal with different human personalities.
I cant exactly say what is it, maybe body talk? I only know I can predict the character and reactions almost without mistake. I realized I even compare them in everyday talk; when I tell my husband a guy is looking at me like a frightened dog ready to bite we both know that guy is not to be trusted.
I am extremely good manipulator with people when I want to be, could it be that my years of "communicating" with animals have to do something with that?

You know, I tend to be fairly trusting. Not of people per se, but more of my impressions of them. And I am rarely wrong. When I decide how much I will trust someone, that decision is just... right. And I think that you are right on. I learned to read critters that were non-verbal communicators, and thus I place a lot of stock in non-verbal communication.

My moments of bliss were when I took aggressive, dangerous, half wild animal in my care and formed it into loving, devoted servant ready to eat out of my hand. One cannot do that effectively without dominating them. Am I wrong to expect similar kind of feelings from D/s relationship?

I don't think so. So long as you realise that a bad dog is generally more compliant than even a good human, you should be okay. And it goes without saying that training a human, and the subsequent emotional care, is more complex as well. But still, it is very rewarding, and, yeah, the feeling is similar.

I know I have felt the same way in calming down a first-time bottom as I have in calming a nervous horse. The sounds and actions are very similar too.

I was quite uneasy about plunging into reality of BDSM world, I am maybe too aware that fantasies hardly ever match the real thing. Your post here soothed my worries somewhat, thank you for that.

You're very welcome.

 

[StrayKat]

You know, I tend to be fairly trusting. Not of people per se, but more of my impressions of them. And I am rarely wrong. When I decide how much I will trust someone, that decision is just... right. And I think that you are right on. I learned to read critters that were non-verbal communicators, and thus I place a lot of stock in non-verbal communication.

I know exactly what you mean. My friends joke about me having 6th sense since I cant always point my finger and say exactly why I like or dont like someone at first look. It is probably unconscious reading of non-verbal signs.

I don't think so. So long as you realise that a bad dog is generally more compliant than even a good human, you should be okay. And it goes without saying that training a human, and the subsequent emotional care, is more complex as well. But still, it is very rewarding, and, yeah, the feeling is similar.

I know I have felt the same way in calming down a first-time bottom as I have in calming a nervous horse. The sounds and actions are very similar too.

I had that tiny inside voice wondering "is this something I am going to like?". Last thing I would like to do to someone would be to stop in the middle of the "play" because I just realized I am not enjoying it.
Ok, I do have a partner that is just as inexperienced but eager to try and very understanding. Maybe I am just a worrying type, I tend to aim for perfection in everything I do bit too much.

I know one cant compare animals and people of course, later are definitely much more unpredictable and complicated. I was more trying to compare my feelings about controlling animals, the delightful feeling of power, specific rush of adrenaline I cant really find in any other activity.
I very much hope to find that feeling again, due to life changes I am not in situation to train any big animal right now and I miss them dearly.

 

[Primalex]

* Carrots are overrated if you have a stick.

* There is no Gordian knot.

* Between any two rational clothes pegs, there fits another one.

* For an unbalanced force acting on a body, the acceleration produced is proportional to the force impressed.

 

[StrayKat]

* Carrots are overrated if you have a stick.

And what happens if stick is actually a carrot?

 

[MisterSir]

I agree.

Third. She looks like a girl I know in ten years time.

That sounded far more insulting than I meant.

 

[Primalex]

And what happens if stick is actually a carrot?

http://www.iconarchive.com/icons/sykonist/looney-tunes/Bugs-Bunny-Carrot-256x256.png

 

[StrayKat]

I am sorry, my mind is too blurred from certain things today to understand your deep meaningful answer

 

[neci]

always remember to say please and thank You.
S.O.A.P.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

always remember to say please and thank You.
S.O.A.P.

Thank you.

 

[jenniferbaby]

always remember to say please and thank You.
S.O.A.P.

Ah, golden words. Though, I learned this in life (or first grade) and applied it to D/s interactions. Whatever works.

 

[Homburg]

I know exactly what you mean. My friends joke about me having 6th sense since I cant always point my finger and say exactly why I like or dont like someone at first look. It is probably unconscious reading of non-verbal signs.

That is what I think it is when I do the same thing.

I had that tiny inside voice wondering "is this something I am going to like?". Last thing I would like to do to someone would be to stop in the middle of the "play" because I just realized I am not enjoying it.
Ok, I do have a partner that is just as inexperienced but eager to try and very understanding. Maybe I am just a worrying type, I tend to aim for perfection in everything I do bit too much.

Eh, when you're dealing with the emotional land mine that is sexuality, and adding in another person, it pays to worry a little bit, and make sure that your motivations are straight.

I know one cant compare animals and people of course, later are definitely much more unpredictable and complicated. I was more trying to compare my feelings about controlling animals, the delightful feeling of power, specific rush of adrenaline I cant really find in any other activity.
I very much hope to find that feeling again, due to life changes I am not in situation to train any big animal right now and I miss them dearly.

I think that you'll enjoy it.